Expectations

"Is it bad to say there was a point when I never thought we'd be here." She shivered as Draco whispered in her ear.

They were hiding away in some corner of the Manor she had never been in before. It was their wedding day and despite all the superstition they couldn't bring themselves to not see each other until later that afternoon. So, when Narcissa and her Mother were busy fawning over the flowers or Merlin knows what else, she snuck off to find Draco. Only to be surprised when she ran into him doing exactly the same thing.

She lived for moments like these. Alone. Just the two of them. Where he could be himself and she could feel free. Moments like these were the reason she had fallen in love with him in the first place all those years ago.

She remembered meeting him. The initial indifference, soon followed by hatred as he picked on her short hair and her shy features as his friends laughed beside him.

1991

It was her first day of classes at Hogwarts. She was nervous, hoping to live up to the expectation of her parents and be the perfect little Hogwarts student they had always hoped for her to be. She was so nervous in fact, that she had woken up before the sun. Simply listening to the light snores of her roommates and watching as the light crawled in through her windows and onto the stone ceiling, before finally giving up on going back to sleep. She had gotten up and dressed in record time and was down to breakfast before her roommates had even rubbed the sleep from their eyes.

Now, there she sat at a table all alone, nibbling and picking at the food on the plate in front of her. She was used to eating meals alone, being an only child with busy parents led to many meals alone with only her thoughts to keep her company. Her usual quiet breakfast though was quickly over when she felt something hit the back of her head. It didn't hurt, whatever it was, was soft and she tried ignoring it until the incessant feeling of something hitting the back of her head continued until she finally turned around.

There, her eyes met with none other than Draco Malfoy, snickering to his friends with pieces of balled up bread in front of him. He had been throwing bread at her. Laughing at her.

She thought to say something to him, to throw all the bread back and tell him to bugger off. But she wouldn't, her parents had warned her to stay out of trouble. "Be our perfect little Princess and maybe we'll get you that owl you've been wanting, Darling." Her Father had said as they said their goodbyes on the platform only a few days before.

So, she turned around and pretended like Draco Malfoy didn't exist. She pretended like she couldn't hear his comments from behind her. "My Mother told me that her parents don't even like each other, you know. Only in it for the money and the blood purity really."

Still, she said nothing in return.

"Her parents must also hate her too. I mean, look at that bloody haircut she has. Who in their right minds would let their child get a haircut like that? Makes her look like an ugly little wet dog."

And again, Draco Malfoy received no response from her, so he continued on with his hurtful comments.

"Don't even get me started on her face. Have you ever seen anyone look so stuck up? Her nose looks like she smelled something bad and her ey-"

She didn't bother staying to hear the rest of his critique on her face. She got up from her space at her table and as quickly as she could, left the great hall. She was in a race with her tears. She didn't want Malfoy to see her cry, but her tears seemed to be winning as the first one fell just as she passed under the large wooden doorway.

She could still hear the laugher of the two boys and the mean comments of the other, ingrained in her head for her to hear on repeat. And they would; repeat that is. They would play in her head day in and day out for a majority of her first year. She wouldn't forget those words for a long time.

1995

Her life was very much the same as it was that first day. She kept to herself, trying to stay out of trouble, make her parents happy and get good grades. Draco still made fun of her, though it was less often now. He seemed to give up when she stopped crying and there wasn't really much else for him to make fun of than what he had already. So, he got bored and moved on and she kept her head down.

It was her fifth year now and she was leaving the library way later than she should have been, but she had wanted to stay up to study for the Potions test she had later that week. So now, she found herself walking the cold, empty castle halls in silence, reciting her studied material quietly to herself as she walked.

She continued like this for some time. Walking, reciting, thinking. That was, until she walked by the stairs to the astronomy tower and heard a small sniffle. She paused her walking and her reciting by the foot of the stairs. Listening in silence to see if the sound really had some from the space above.

Sniff.

There it was again; someone was definitely crying up there. Not knowing what to do, she found herself stuck, simply standing at the bottom of the stairs. Not moving. Should she help? She felt bad just leaving them to cry on their own, but she wasn't one to get involved in something that was not her business.

Go to bed, pretend you didn't hear anything, she thought to herself. Right, okay. She hadn't heard any sniffles for a few minutes, so she assumed the person up the stairs was fine and she could leave. But the moment her foot lifted to take a step away from her space in front of the stairs, she heard something else. A sob.

She sighed. It was a heartbroken sob. One she had heard from herself many a times as she cried herself to sleep during her first few years at Hogwarts. She had cried about many things before; Draco Malfoy's cruel words, her parent's absence, her lack of friends. She couldn't leave this person to cry alone in the cold castle, with only the sound of their tears to keep them company.

Having made up her mind, she once again lifted her foot and began on her journey up the stairs; quietly, as not to spook whoever was sitting at the top. Their quiet cries grew louder in her ears as she got closer to her destination at the top of the stairs. But, when she finally reached the crying person, she found herself rooted in her spot at the top of the stairs.

"Malfoy?" She was shocked. Draco Malfoy was the last person she expected to find crying up in the Astronomy tower. She assumed it had been a scared first year or a heartbroken girl- but Draco Malfoy had never come to her mind as a guess of who it could be.

She saw the moment her presence registered in his head. His back straightened and he whipped his head around so fast she thought he'd break his neck. "Leave." He said with a snarl on his face.

She should have left, she knew it deep down, but even with the snarl she couldn't find it in herself to leave this broken boy alone. She saw the path the tears had made down his porcelain cheeks, his puffy eyes; red from crying and full of unshed tears, his hair; messy from having been pulled at by frustrated hands. She couldn't leave him like this, no matter how much hate she had in her heart for him.

She told herself it was only because he could chuck himself off the Astronomy tower for all she knew, as she took a deep breath and made her way from her place at the stairs towards the crying blonde.

"Did you not hear me?" He asked, clearly trying to strengthen his shaky voice as she made her way to sit beside him.

"I did."

"And you just decided to not listen?" He asked, turning his face away from her and towards the light of the moon. The movement made the unshed tears in his eyes sparkle and she felt something in her heart break for him.

"Pretty much." She continued to study his face, waiting for a response and eventually when one never came she just turned to look out at the night sky.

It was beautiful. Cloudless, full of stars and a beautifully bright moon. She had only been up in the astronomy tower a few times and it never ceased to amaze her how it could make her feel so small, a feeling she relished from time to time.

They didn't speak, but she noticed as his breath calmed down and his sniffles slowly came to an end the longer they sat together. She didn't know why she continued to sit with him for so long, or why she felt relieved when she noticed the tears on his face had dried and the swelling of his eyes had calmed down. All she knew is that she didn't mind sitting with Draco Malfoy in silence. She could feel his body heat radiating off him from how close they sat, but neither one ever accidentally brushed the other.

After what felt like hours, Malfoy stood and stared down at her, not saying a word and all she could do was look back at him from her seat on the floor. She didn't know what to say about the moment they had just shared, but luckily for her, she didn't have to say anything before Malfoy beat her to it. "Not a word about this. I hear you're telling people and you won't even live to regret it."

Without even waiting to see if she'd answer or agree, he turned on his heel and left her alone in the cold astronomy tower. Which now felt even colder with the absence of his warmth, no matter how far away it had been. She sat for a while longer by herself. What else could she have expected from him? Of course he wouldn't be grateful she had sat with him. Had she expected a thank you? Had she expected they'd suddenly become friends?

She felt foolish and oddly enough, she felt hurt.

xxx

Two weeks after that night in the Astronomy tower, she heard the sniffling again. This time though, she knew who was waiting at the top of the stairs and still she made her way up anyway.

This time, Malfoy wasn't surprised to see her, his face almost intrigued as he turned to look at her. Again, his hair was ruffled, his eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks held pathways for his tears. Again, she made her way to sit beside him and this time was not hit with his hurtful words.

"What, not going to tell me to leave again?" Her voice was almost teasing and to her surprise, she found herself bumping his shoulder with hers. Was she joking with the Draco Malfoy?

Even more surprising, he gave a small chuckle at her comment. "No point. Not like you'd listen anyway."

He was right. No matter how hurtful and rude he had been to her over the years, she couldn't find it in herself to leave him up here crying alone. So again, they sat in silence and as his breathing began to calm down and his sniffles slowly came to an end, she finally got the courage to speak.

"So, you wanna talk about it?" She asked, facing him. She studied his face and was surprised when she saw a small sad smile grace his lips.

"Not this time." And again like last time, without so much as waiting for a response, he was up and gone. The only difference was this time; he didn't threaten her.

xxx

After that night, it became almost a nightly ritual as she left the library to go join Draco at the top of the astronomy tower. He began to expect her and eventually, when she joined him, there wasn't as much as even a remainder of a tear on his face.

She began to enjoy these nights with Draco and she suspected that he did too. As the weeks passed on, he would even laugh and joke with her. She found that he actually wasn't all that horrible to be around and she quite liked when he smiled as it did weird things to her stomach.

It was now nearing winter break and she had yet to bring up why he was crying again, but she found with each day closer to the break her curiosity began to grow. So now, here she sat, next to Draco once again biting her tongue to keep from asking him the only thing on her mind. She didn't want to ruin whatever truce they had going on because at this moment in time, she really considered him her only friend.

But it seemed that after all this time together, Draco had learned to read her quite well. "Okay, spit it out. What's going on in that head of yours?" Asked Draco, as he turned away from his staring contest with the night sky to look at her.

Startled, she stammered for an answer. "How- Well how do you even know I was thinking something?"

He gave her an incredulous look. "Seriously? You have your thinking face on and I'm surprised you haven't bitten a hole into the inside of your cheek already with how much you're biting at it."

She felt a blush rise to her cheeks as she realized she had been biting her cheeks, and the blush grew even darker when she realized Draco had noticed it before she had. "I- Well, I guess I was just thinking about the first few times I found you up here."

She saw him stiffen as he realized where her sentence was going. "I just- I guess… I was just wondering why you were crying. You always look so put together during the day."

Draco took his time answering, so long in fact that she thought he wasn't even going to answer at all. When she had first finished her question he had turned away from her to look out at the night sky once again, but she kept her eyes on him as she watched him slowly piece together an answer in his mind.

"I…" he began, breaking his silence and turning to her. "I'm sure you've heard the rumors about my family?"

It took her a moment to realize he was asking her a question, rather than stating a fact. So, quickly she nodded, giving him the cue to continue his explanation. Of course she had heard the rumors going around Hogwarts about his family. How they served you-know-who, how his aunt was Bellatrix Lestrange and many more horrifying and heartbreaking stories.

"They're true, you know. Most, if not all of them."

She felt her heart break for the boy in front of her. She couldn't imagine being forced into a life so close to so many dark wizards. Over the past few weeks, she had come to learn a lot about Draco. She learned that he was actually pretty funny, that he could take a joke, that he was smart and cared deeply about those he loved.

She could tell that this was hard for him to admit to her, so without thinking she reached her hand out and placed it on top of where his was supporting his weight on the floor behind him. This action made both of them pause and look down at the first physical contact they had ever made and when she didn't remove her hand, he looked up at her and continued speaking.

"They expect a lot from me… a lot of things I don't know if I'm ready for."

"I don't expect anything from you." And it was true. She used to expect a few things from Draco Malfoy. She expected him to make her cry, she expected him to say hateful things, she expected him to do anything he could to make her day miserable. But now- now she expected none of those things from him.

He gave her a small smile, turning back again to look at the open night sky. She watched as the light of the stars danced in the blue of his eyes, almost as if they were a mirror. "I know" responded Draco.

And then, gathering the last bit of courage she had, she surprised him for the second time that night and placed her head on his shoulder. When he didn't move away, she looked out at the stars with him; enjoying this moment they had alone together. Just the two of them under the night sky.

xxx

It was nearing the end of fifth year and after that night in the astronomy tower, her nights with Draco became a nightly occurrence. She found that she felt comfortable and safe with him and she hoped the feeling was mutual, but whenever she would see him outside of their nightly meetings he would pretend as though he didn't see her.

At first she thought that maybe he really just didn't see her, but when she began smiling and waving in his direction; making clear, direct eye contact with him, he would quickly turn away and she quickly realized he was ignoring her on purpose.

She felt hurt by this, considering how much time they had spent together over the past year. She cared for Draco deeply and she went as far as thinking he was her best friend really and she hoped she was his, considering how much they shared with each other.

It was the day before their final Hogsmeade trip before the end of the school year and after weeks of consideration, she decided she was going to ask him to go with her- and she was going to do so in public. He would either say yes and they could continue their nightly meetings and friendship, or he can say no and they'll go back to how things were before she found him crying in the astronomy tower. She wasn't going to be anyone's secret friend. She wasn't something to hide.

So, with that, she found herself trying to catch up with him down a long crowded hallway. Maybe this many people wasn't the best idea to ask Draco in front of, but the trip was tomorrow, so really there was no other time.

"Hey, Draco!" She said, jogging to catch up with him in the hallway. "Wait up!"

She watched, almost in slow motion as he stopped and turned around, stiff as a board with a look that could kill written across his face. That was not the look she was expecting. She thought maybe the worst she would get would maybe be a confused face, but not one as angry as this.

"What?" He said and she came to a halt in front of him and his group of friends.

"I was… You know the last Hogsmeade trip is this weekend and I was wondering if-"

Before she could even finish her question, she heard him begin to laugh. "If what?" He said between bouts of laughter. "If I'd go to Hogsmeade with you? Now, why would I do such a ridiculous thing?"

She flinched as his words hit her. Ridiculous? That was a little harsh… but unfortunately for her, Draco wasn't done just yet. "Whatever made that bloody disgusting idea register in your small little brain- get rid of it. Even the idea of spending time with you makes me want to chuck myself off the top of the astronomy tower and the fact you would even think to ask shows how stupid you truly are. I would never lower myself to the likes of you. Now- get out of my face before I get sick and have to go to the infirmary."

The tears that had begun to build up at the beginning of his speech were now quickly streaming down her face. People in the hallway had stopped to watch the scene unfolding and Malfoy's friends were laughing and pointing at her behind him, whispering cruel things they found funny to one another.

She was more than humiliated; she was mortified and worse than that, she was heartbroken. Through her tears, her cracked voice whispered the only thing she could think would hurt him as badly as he hurt her. "I expected more from you."

She watched as his eyes flashed quickly with regret and as he opened his mouth to say Merlin knows what, she shook her head and took off in the opposite direction, pushing past the onlookers and trying to push Malfoy's words from her head.

xxx

Hours later, she found herself still sitting by the black lake. She knew there was a curfew, but the weather was nice and after Malfoy's hurtful words earlier, she couldn't bring herself to be around other people. She assumed the whole school had heard about her embarrassing rejection by now and she didn't have any desire to see the look on their faces or hear the whispers surrounding her.

She had wanted to run to the astronomy tower, but found that even the idea brought her pain. When she thought of the astronomy tower she thought of Malfoy and that was not something she wanted to think about right now. So, she found herself at the only other place she could think to go where she would be alone; the black lake.

She was currently laying on her back, looking up at the stars as she absentmindedly twirled her wand between her fingers. But, her quiet moment was interrupted by the sound of twigs snapping under feet. Quickly sitting up and pointing her wand in the direction of the sound, she was unpleasantly surprised by whose face came out of the woods. She would rather it'd been a dementor really.

"Leave." She said as she laid back down, mimicking his comment from when she had first found him in the astronomy tower all those months ago.

Of course, like she had done to him, he didn't listen. "I've been looking for you for hours. Do you know how worried I was?" Malfoy said, leaning over her and blocking her view of the night sky.

"Bugger off, Malfoy. You made your point clear enough earlier." She said, turning on her side and standing up. She was about to walk away when she felt a pair of cold fingers wrap around her arm. Not tight enough to hurt, but tight enough to make it to where she couldn't slip out and run away.

"Wait, please don't go. I didn't mean it. Look, I – I just wasn't ready to tell everyone about our friendship."

At that statement, she tore her wrist from his grip and spun to face the blonde headed boy behind her. "Don't talk to me like you care when really you'd rather pitch yourself off the astronomy tower than be seen with the 'likes of me'" She watched as he flinched at his words, just as she had only hours before.

"I said I didn't mean it okay! Can't you just forgive me?"

"Forgive you? HA!" She let out a loud laugh, causing him to take a step back as she pointed her wand threateningly in his direction. "I don't want you anywhere near me ever again Malfoy. Have I made myself clear? I thought we were friends. I –"

"We are friends!" Exclaimed Malfoy as he took a step towards her, but stopped when the tip of her wand reached the skin of his neck.

"Don't interrupt me. You know, I really cared about you. I even thought I loved you, but after that beautiful little speech you gave me I just realized I w – mmph"

The rest of her sentence was muffled by a pair of warm lips hitting her own and two cold hands grabbing her warm cheeks. She was being kissed? Merlin, she was being kissed and all she could think to do was kiss back. She melted into the pair of warm lips as they fought her own.

The kiss was full of passion, emotion, warmth and quick breaths; that was, until she remembered who she was kissing. She pushed on Malfoy's chest; shoving him and making him take two steps back to keep his balance. He was breathing heavy, as was she, but he made no move towards her. It was almost as if he was afraid of scaring off a wild animal.

"Why would you do that?!" She yelled, again bringing her wand up to point in his direction. Before she had just been hurt and angry. Now, she was hurt, angry and confused.

"You said you loved me." He made it sound as if the answer was obvious. Like, of course he'd kiss her after she said she had loved him.

She scoffed. "That doesn't just give you the right to-"

"I love you too."

She took a step back, shocked by his admission, as he took a careful step forward. After fully realizing the words he had just said, she was suddenly fueled with a whole new anger. "How DARE you! You make me care for you. You insult and humiliate me. You make me cry. You break my heart and then you tell me you LOVE me! You're a piece of work you know that?"

"I'm sorry okay?!" Yelled Draco, as he threw his arms out to the sides in frustration. "If you would give me a second to explain maybe you'd understand that I didn't want to hurt you! You know what kind of rumors go around about my family and I. You know what kind of rumors go around about the people I chose to associate myself with. Did you ever think for a moment that maybe I didn't want people to say those kind of things about you?"

How dare he! "I can make those decisions myself, you know!"

"I know! Trust me, I know I made a mistake, okay? But you're so good. You're too good for me and I couldn't let people taint you with those words. I couldn't let them think you're like me."

That made her pause in her tirade. Sure, she had thought about what people would say about her and Draco, but she had quickly brushed the thought off with other things that didn't really matter to her. She didn't care what other people had to say, all she cared about was what he had to say.

He took her silence as invitation to continue speaking, as well as slowly inch closer to her, as she had dropped her wand down to her side sometime during his short speech.

"I love you. I hate saying those things out loud, but I need you to believe me. I love you; you, the only person who stopped and asked if I was okay. I couldn't repay you by ruining your reputation."

By now he was standing directly in front of her, not touching her, but close enough to where she could feel the warmth of his breath on her face as he spoke.

"I don't care about my reputation. I care about you."

"I know." He said softly, as he grabbed her hand, her wand dropping softly to the ground below them.

"You broke my heart." She said softly.

"I know." He responded again, placing his over hand on her warm cheek.

"But for some stupid reason, I still love you."

This made him crack a small half smile. "I know that too, love."

Then, he was pulling her to him and kissing her again and this time, she truly let him. She felt him smile into the kiss as she melted into him and wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling the soft hairs between her fingers.

She pulled him as close as she could get him, she didn't want anything separating them. This moment was something she had only thought about in passing, never something she thought could be real.

After a few minutes of kissing, they both pulled away to catch their breath as Draco placed his forehead against hers. "You still have to make it up to me."

"I know." It seemed that those were the only words left in his vocabulary for the night, so she continued on.

"I want you to stand on the table at dinner tomorrow night and tell the whole school you love me and that I'm your girlfriend."

"No. Absolutely not."

She took a step back and raised her eyebrow at him. Almost as if to say 'are you really the one with the power to be making demands here?' Clearly, he got what she was silently saying because he sighed and admitted defeat. "Fine, but don't try to back out when you hear all the things people say about you. Dating me won't be easy."

She smiled, moving back into the warmth of his arms. "I wouldn't expect anything else."

Present

"It's not bad." She responded, as Draco ran a soft hand lightly up and down her back as they cuddled together on the couch by the window. "I thought the same thing once or twice."

After that night at the lake, Draco's promise truly became a reality. Loving him was no walk in the park, sixth and seventh years had been exceptionally difficult, but that was a story for another day.

Now, she just wanted to bask in the moment of being alone with her love before they had to share the day with everyone else. But all too quickly, there was a knock at the door before the matriarch of the Malfoy family stuck her head into the room, looking almost relieved to find them here together.

"There you are darling, come now. It's time to finish getting ready. Draco, go back to your room as well, it's bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony." With a silent groan, they both stood. Knowing it was no use to argue with Narcissa, but as Draco gave her one last kiss on the cheek she felt him place something in her hand before he walked away with a wink.

Narcissa had left with Draco, clearly to make sure he ended up back where he belonged, so she had a moment to open the piece of parchment Draco had placed in her hand as he left.

My Dearest Love,

You know I am bloody horrible at expressing my feelings, but you deserve nothing less on our wedding day. I know we had agreed not to do our own vows, but I had to tell you how much your love means to me.

I was so lost before you found me, I was still lost even sometime after. Every time though, you found me and lit the way back home. I can never thank you enough for showing me unconditional love and giving me the opportunity to be my true self.

Having someone believe in me – especially someone as good as you – has made me think that maybe I'm not as hopeless as I once thought I was.

I know I don't say it often, but I hope I show you through my actions everyday how much I truly love you. I would go to the ends of this earth for you if you asked me to.

So, my love, here are my vows to you.

I vow to always let you make your own decisions, even if I think I know what's best.

I vow to always hold you close.

I vow to laugh at those bloody horrible things you call jokes.

I vow to love you until you tell me not to, and even then I'll love you still.

Yours truly,

Draco

Hi All!

I hope Draco's short story was everything you wished it would be! I hope you all don't mind me only using she to describe the main character. I want these short stories to be x reader, but I don't like using Y/N all the time, so I try to stay away from it. Also, I never give descriptions on house, family or what the character looks like because I want you all to be able to fill that in.

Anywaysssss this is part of my To Have and To Hold series (which can also be found on my Wattpad readyurwands). The story with the most reviews and favorites, will get turned into a full-blown fic with chapters, character development and spicy moments. So- make sure to vote on which story you'd like to see more of. There's Fred, George and Ron stories on my page also.

xx
Jayne