Clara looked up at the Doctor rising to the open window at the back of the second floor classroom as Kelvin read from Pride and Prejudice. Clara stood up from her desk.
"You all right, Miss Oswald?" Kelvin asked.
"Yes, Kelvin, I'm fine. You carry on," Clara said as she walked to the back of the class.
Kelvin continued.
Clara grabbed a chair and stood on it to reach the window and the Doctor. "Can I help you, Mister Smith?"
"Wrong," the Doctor replied concisely.
"I'm sorry?"
"On the board. Wrong. Wrong," he answered, referring to the Jane Austin quote written on the board.
"Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't do this. You are the caretaker, this is not what you do."
"Just taking care."
"Not your area!"
"Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in 1796."
"Where's your ladder?" Clara whispered angrily.
"Why, I'm standing on it, of-." The Doctor looked down to see empty air under his feet. He turned his head and saw it a few windows down. "Oh. No, it's over there."
"Go get it!" Clara hissed, "Caretakers don't fly!"
The Doctor flew and grabbed it, brought it back, and stood on it.
Clara cleared her throat to address the class. "This is Mister Smith, the temporary caretaker, and he's a bit confused."
"Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in 1796," the Doctor repeated, "Not in 1797, because she didn't have the time.
"Oh, Clara," the Doctor said affectionately to himself. He floated into the air and drifted down the hall, placing green chronodyne generators on the lights. He stopped, seeing graffiti on a window, reading 'Ozzie loves the Squaddie'. "What does that mean? Kids. What's the matter with kids today?" he said to himself as he wiped the window down.
"I'm not a moron, Clara. And he's not the caretaker. He's your dad. Your space dad," Danny said, frightened and frustrated.
"Oh, genius. That is- that is really, really brilliant reasoning," the Doctor said, "How can you think that I'm her dad when we both look exactly the same age?"
"We do not look the same age," Clara insisted, mad at everyone.
"I was being kind," the Doctor said, "Right, I'm going to hypnotize him. I'm going to erase his memory." The Doctor floated toward Danny, his arms outstretched.
Danny jumped with surprise and fear.
"Doctor, stop!" Clara shouted.
"Tiny little brain, only take a moment."
"He's my boyfriend."
The Doctor stopped, just in front of Danny. "Well, I'll try not to erase the whole thing. I'll leave the bits that-."
"He's my boyfriend," Clara interrupted, "I thought you'd figured this out."
The Doctor stopped and faced her. "Him?"
"Yes, him."
"No, he's not." The Doctor slowly floated down until only his toes touched the floor.
"Yes, he is."
"Yes, I am," Danny said.
"But he's a PE teacher. You wouldn't go out with a PE teacher. It's a mistake. You've made a boyfriend error."
"I am not a PE teacher. I am a maths teacher."
"You're a soldier. Why would you go out with a soldier? Why not get a dog or a big plant?"
"Because I love him!" Clara shouted.
"Why would you say that? Is this part of the surprise play?"
Clara sighed in frustration. "There is no surprise play."
"Oh, it's a roller coaster with you tonight, isn't it? What about the handsome one, the one with the bow tie?"
"Who? Adrian? No, no, no. He's just a friend and not my type."
"Clara, are you going to explain any of this?" Danny asked, "Who is this guy? How does he fly?"
"The Doctor is-."
"Go on," the Doctor said.
"Yes, explain. Who is he? Why have you never mentioned him?"
"Because he's an alien. And he just . . . figured out how to fly."
"It's easy," the Doctor butted in.
"Er, are you an alien?" Danny asked.
"No, no, no, I'm still from Blackpool. Me and the Doctor, we travel through time and space."
The Doctor flew to the curtains on the stage. "Exhibit A." He pulled the curtains back, revealing the TARDIS.
"It's called a TARDIS, but it's disguised as an old police phone box," Clara explained. She jumped on the stage and the Doctor flew down to her.
"It's bigger on the inside," he whispered.
"And it's bigger on the inside than the outside," Clara repeated to Danny.
The Doctor strode to the TARDIS and opened the doors. "Voila."
"Now, Time Lords, do you salute those?" Danny asked.
"Definitely not," the Doctor said.
"Ah. Sir!" Danny saluted.
"And you do not call me 'sir'."
"As you wish, sir. Absolutely, sir."
"And you can get out of my TARDIS!" the Doctor yelled, floating threateningly into the air, his coat waving gently, revealing the red lining.
"Immediately, sir."
"Doctor, this is stupid, this is unfair," Clara said.
"One thing, Clara. I'm a soldier, guilty as charged," Danny said, "You see him? He's an officer."
"I am not an officer!" the Doctor shouted, floating in front of Danny.
Danny's hair fluttered gently, but there was no breeze.
"I'm the one who carries you out of the fire. He's the one who lights it."
"Out. Now."
"Right away, sir. Straight now?"
"Yes."
"Am I dismissed?"
"Yes, you are!"
Danny stiffened as if a force was trying to push him back. "That's him. Look at him, right now. That's who he is." Danny turned and left.
The Doctor's feet touched the ground and his coat fell back to normal. "On balance, I think that went quite well."
"You're using her like a decoy?" Danny questioned angrily.
"No, not like a decoy. As a decoy," the Doctor responded, "Don't they teach you anything at stupid school?"
"Well, is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. Yes, and this is very, very important. Leave us alone!"
Danny's hair seemed to flutter again. There still was no breeze.