Disclaimer: Boku no Hero Academia characters and plot events belongs to Horikoshi Kohei.
To Be a Hero
crumble
.
.
.
The weeks that followed the fight with All For One were quiet and it kept people on edge because of All Might's retirement. The country needed time to heal, but it can't stop moving. The extra precautions that the government was taking was the only hope for now to keep the people safe despite the rising suspicion of competency of the remaining heroes.
On the other hand, U.A. hero course students were visited in their homes by U.A. staff and Pro Heroes to give permission to move into the newly built dorms. The time had come for move-ins, and so, the students left home to start their new lives. Shiro had been out of the hospital for two weeks now, and she was packing the last of her belongings that she wished to bring to her dorm room. The big items have already been moved over, and she and Aizawa were going to drive to the dorms together.
"Are you ready?"
Carrying the satchel, she nodded and walked out with Aizawa to the awaiting car. Though silence wasn't uncomfortable between the two as usual, there was an undeniable distance between Shiro and everything around her these days. The hero found himself walking on eggshells since her reawakened memories.
Aizawa had promised that he was going to help her figure things out together when she was ready, but it was hard to determine when the girl will feel ready. It wasn't just the memories of Shigaraki that plagued her, either. Like the rest of the country, she was saddened about the fall of All Might as the Symbol of Peace. To be part of the reason the last battle took place, it settled uneasily in her heart.
The hero set a hand on the girl's shoulder and squeezed lightly before she got in the car. It was a silent gesture to let her know that he was there for her whenever she was ready to talk. What he didn't know was that the more she had time to think about everything, the more she became unsure of how she can speak to him about it at all.
"Let's go to our new home," Shiro said quietly.
The dorms were on the grounds of U.A., about a five minute walk from the school. To the students' knowledge, it was put in place for their safety, but while that was true, it was also to determine the threat that U.A. had been faced after the leak of the training camp location. The dorms will be a chance for Nezu and the few trusted Pro Heroes to thoroughly search behind-the-scenes.
Upon arriving, the rest of class 1-A were already gathered around the front. There was a sense of excitement and curiosity in their expressions at the prospect of everyone being under the same roof from now on. It won't just be seeing each other in class anymore.
"Everyone was allowed to enter the dorms, huh?" Sero grinned after Shiro joined the rest at the back of the group.
"I had a hard time," Hagakure heaved a sigh. Jiro twirled an earphone jack with an exasperated look.
"My old man acted like he was opposed to it and gave All Might and sensei a hard time... But I got lucky that he was actually on board with the arrangement."
"The two of you were directly affected by the gas..." Ojiro remarked with understanding. "It makes sense that they'd be worried."
"We were all able to be together again because of the teachers," Tsuyu piped pragmatically. "When I watched the press conference, I thought we'd lose them, and it made me sad."
"I was surprised, too," Aizawa piped as he stood before the crowd. "Well, I'm sure everyone has different circumstances. Now, I'll explain briefly about the dorms, but first—it's time that we focus on getting the provisional licenses we were planning to have you get during the training camp."
"Oh yeah, they did talk about that!" Kaminari piped with a few of the guys.
"This is important. Listen up," Aizawa quieted them down as he addressed something else. "Kirishima, Yaoyorozu, Todoroki, Midoriya, Iida. These five went to save Bakugou and Shiro that night," he paused to look at everyone's expression carefully. "All your reactions tell me that you all were at least aware of it. I'm going to set aside a number of issues and say this: if it weren't for All Might's retirement, I would've expelled everyone except Bakugou, Shiro, Jiro, and Hagakure."
Shiro lowered her head since she knew from when she woke up from her coma that this talk was coming. It was why she had been so adamant about not wanting her friends risk so much. Aizawa was ruthless, but it was only because he cared so much.
"Of course the five that went are responsible, but also the twelve who knew but didn't stop them betrayed our trust, no matter what the reason. I would be grateful if you could follow the proper procedures and act properly in order to regain that trust. That is all. Now, we're going inside. Let's have some energy."
A silent wave of guilt washed over everyone as the hero turned his back to walk casually into the dorm. How were they suppose to have energy after such a heavy reprimand?
Shiro heard Bakugou scuff lightly besides her and the class grew concerned when the blonde suddenly grabbed Kaminari and dragged him away.
"Huh? What? N-No!"
A powerful burst of lightening scattered out from behind the tall hedge, but before anyone could voice their concerns Kaminari poked out from the hedge with his lightening-fried, derpy face. It was enough to get half of the class chuckle or attempt to hold in their mirth.
"What did Bakugou do...?"
"Yey..."
"Kirishima!" Bakugou walked out and stood in front of the redhead with a menacing glare before shoving a wad of cash into his hands. It looked exactly like what everyone was imagining in their minds after that display.
"Wait! You're scaring me!" Kirishima sweated nervously. "Did you—did you shake someone down for money?!"
"No! I withdrew this money. You used up all your allowance, right?" the blonde scowled. Kirishima looked shocked beyond belief.
"Yeah... But where did you hear about me buying night-vision goggles for the rescue mission—?"
"Just take it! If you keep having to scrimp and save, then it'll make me feel bad. Show your dumb side, as usual."
"Yey... Yey!"
Kaminari continued to babble as the rest of the class erupted in laughter. With everything that was going on, it was necessary to let loose once in a while. However, while the tension left her body, Shiro still couldn't find it in herself to laugh along with the rest of her classmates.
"So, each dorm houses one class. Girls on the right, and boys on the left. The first floor is the common area, so the food, baths, and laundry are on this floor," Aizawa explained as they filed into the new and modern looking dorm. The reenergize students looked around curiously to explore every crevice. The place was huge!
"Did my ears deceive me?" Meanwhile, Mineta was quivering with sweat. "Baths and laundry are in the common area? Is this a dream?"
A dark and ominous aura crept up behind the boy in warning, "It's separated by gender. You better watch yourself." Aizawa was not taking any kind of misbehavior around here; not when Shiro and the rest of the girls' modesty was concerned.
"Y-Yes sir."
After the explanation of the room layouts for each side of the dorm, the students all rushed to find their assigned rooms with excitement. There are four rooms to a side of the floor, and four upper floors in total. There was an elevator and stairs on each side, but the only way to get to the opposite side was to come down to the first floor and cross over. Everyone's luggage were already sent over to the rooms so all there was left to do today was to unpack.
Shiro found that her room was assigned on the fourth floor with Uraraka and Mina, with her being between the two girls'. As she made her way across the common area, Bakugou was also making his way to the opposite side before the other guys so he can get the unpacking over and done with quicker. They paused and made eye contact, having not been able to speak to each other after all that had happened to them since Camino.
"Let's go, Shiro-chan!" Uraraka and Mina shouted at the same time, effectively catching her attention so they can go to their floor quickly. "This'll be fun!"
As the ruby eyed girl was dragged away, Bakugou frowned slightly and made his way up to his side as well.
It didn't take Shiro too long to arrange everything in her room the way she felt satisfied with since there weren't too many things to move, but she could still hear the bustling of others as they were still working. Her new dorm resembled very closely the room she had back home, with the majority of the furniture having an all-white motif. The only showy aspect of her room were the numerous star-shaped lights hanging from one side of the wall and extending to the ceiling towards her bed.
Letting out a tired sigh, she sat on her bed and pulled the satchel she brought towards her. There was just a few personal effects in it: a framed picture of a younger her being held up by Present Mic and a deadpan Aizawa next to them, an old deck of cards, a game console, a few trinkets she's collected over time, and her wallet that still contained the picture of Tenko.
She didn't know what to do with it, but she knew she didn't have the heart to throw it away. It was harder and harder to have distractions that drew her mind away from the truth. Shigaraki is her brother and that along with the memories of him made her unable to sleep at night.
She couldn't find herself talking to Aizawa about it even though the hero had been so supportive. How could she, when her brother was the one who nearly killed him back at USJ? She harbored such deep hatred for Shigaraki then, but it was undeniable that she viewed him differently now that she knew who he was and what he went through. Torn between the two, her emotional health was slowly being drained and it was the reason for her silent suffering.
What am I actually doing...
There was a small vibration from her phone and she slowly pulled out the device. It took a moment to register but she grew surprised to see that someone had privately messaged her apart from the class group chat.
Bakugou Katsuki: Have a moment?
She didn't think anyone was done with unpacking and exploring the dorm yet, but she could leave it to the blonde to be efficient and fast. Thinking pensively for a moment on whether she wanted to leave her room, she sighed and told the truth.
Aisaka Shiragiku: I finished unpacking.
The reply was immediate.
Bakugou Katsuki: Meet me downstairs.
There was no one on her way down to the common area since everyone was busy decorating their rooms. Then she caught sight of the blonde standing by the kitchen. He had his usual glare, but there was no hostility, no air of arrogance. After going through something traumatic together, she supposed they were past that.
"It didn't work on you."
Shiro blinked with confusion at the seemingly off-base comment, "What?"
Bakugou shoved his hands inside his pant pockets. "You've been giving off a sad as shit expression the entire day. It's like you lost all your spunk," he pointed out harshly, but there was a clear sign of worry in his eyes and tone of voice. He looked to the side with a lour of his lips, "I couldn't make you crack after doing that to Dunce Face."
She now understood what the male was talking about and grew bewildered at his close observation of her current state of mind. He had always been a keen sensor, though. No matter what he said otherwise, he cared about everyone in the class enough to try to make them feel better.
"I can guess why you're like this right now. It's because of Shigaraki, right?"
She didn't answer. She didn't want to talk about her villain brother because it hurt her to do so when she remembered all that he has done to her guardian and classmates.
"Look," Bakugou's grumble forced her to look at him. "You shutting yourself in isn't going to help jack shit. Let it out."
"There's nothing to say."
"Try."
She gripped the side of her arm as the refusal in her mind wavered, "Why are you so persistent about this?"
"I can't guarantee that I'll have sappy words of consolation but I'm here to let you rant until..." he looked to the side briefly. "Until you can be your normal self again."
"Normal...? Knowing that someone related to me has caused so much pain to Eraserhead, to our classmates, to All Might... I don't think I can..."
"Why can't you?" Bakugou frowned. He thought with all that encouraging shit she's said to Half and Half about him being his own person, she would adhere to her own advice. "That bastard's actions are not your actions."
"But what if... His actions are a result of my actions?"
"If you're blaming yourself because of his obsession with you—"
Shiro shook her head, "That may be part of why he's so unstable now, but after gaining back my memories... I... I don't want to think about it anymore..."
Seeing that she was backing off with unease, Bakugou knew he had to say something to draw her out from shutting herself in again. "Shiro," he pulled her towards him so that her face was buried in his hard chest. The deep rumbling of his voice could be felt as he spoke. "It's okay. Be as vulnerable as you need, just this once. I won't look. I won't even fucking speak. I'll just listen... Please?"
Shiro was beyond shocked, but as she felt the his genuine willingness to listen without judgment from his steadily beating heart, she allowed herself to crumble before him.
"It was my fault," she whispered brokenly. "I broke a promise to the only person who had been there for me. I betrayed his trust..."
"We'll promise to always be there for each other. As long as you're here with me... I will be okay..."
That was what she promised to keep, and she did. For months, It was Shiro and Tenko against any mean thing that came their way. They had each other and it was all they needed.
Until one day...
"Hey, you."
Shiro was returning from using the bathroom when a few girls called out to her before she could reach Tenko who was waiting in the living room. Through the months she had grown less scared of the other kids when she was around Tenko; it was quite the reverse since the kids were terrified of her brother's Quirk. It had been a while since anyone outright confronted them (their methods usually included talking behind their backs and not allowing either of them to play with them) so Shiro grew wary of what the girls wanted with her.
"We need another person to play 'House,' so do you wanna join?"
She had never played House before—she had never even played with anyone expect Tenko before—so the offer came out as a complete shock. The desire to know what it felt like to play with other people was so enticing.
"Are you deaf or something? It's a one time offer," the leader of the group said with her arms crossed. "We can always find someone else."
"I-I want to! Yes!" Shiro exclaimed quickly.
"Cool. We're playing in Aiko's room. Let's go."
Suddenly remembering that Tenko was waiting in the living room for her, it made Shiro pause and wring her hands together nervously. "Um, c-can Tenko nii-san come, too?" she asked hopefully.
The leader furrowed her brows in disgust at the mention of her brother and shook her head. "Why? House is a girl game. He can play his own boy games."
"But..."
"You want to play with us right? No boys or I'll find someone else to play with us. Also, don't tell him you played with us or we'll never invite you again."
Hearing the ultimatum, Shiro's young mind panicked because she didn't want to let the offer go. It will be okay if she just played with them for thirty minutes, right? She can still spend the rest of the time with Tenko!
Nodding reluctantly, she decided to follow them. The two other girls behind the leader whispered something to each other with a small giggle as they went to Aiko's room.
The first time Shiro played with the other girls without telling Tenko, he wondered why she spent so much time in the 'bathroom', but she made up an excuse. It made him nervous, but Shiro was having so much fun finally interacting with other people and being told that telling small white lies was fine made her continue to do it.
And why not? She became good friends with the three girls in a week!
Himari was the leader and the oldest while Aiko and Mine were slightly younger but still a year older than Shiro. Aiko always had a lot of toys and cool things in the room; toy microphones, recorders, board games, stuffed animals. It was cooler and more abundant than the leftover toys she and Tenko could only play with together. Because of her brother's Quirk, the lady who owned the orphanage didn't allow the boy to touch anything that wasn't already worn or broken.
"Why do you stick with Tenko?" Mine asked one day.
"I love nii-san," Shiro pouted. "He protects me."
"No way! He can't protect anyone with a Quirk like that," Aiko grimanced. "It's freaky."
"Right," Himari agreed and looked at Shiro expectantly. "Just look at how creepy he looks, too."
"Nii-san isn't..."
"You're with us now and we think he's creepy. Don't you think? Do you not agree with us?"
No, she wanted to say, but the girls were looking at her with a waiting frown. If she was going to play with them, she had to agree with them or they'd kick her out.
"I..."
"You agree with us that your brother is a freak. Right?"
Shiro gulped, "Yes..."
Himari smiled after that and they continued to play together. When Shiro returned to her brother later, her heart felt heavy.
[]
"Shiragiku?"
Shiro was at a loss when Tenko finally saw her with the three girls.
"W-Why are you playing with them...?" he frowned anxiously.
"They're my friends, nii-san," she tried to convince the trembling boy. "I want to play with them..."
"Yeah, we're friends," Himari taunted. "So go away, freak. Your sister is playing with us."
"No! L-Leave Shiragiku alone," he stepped towards the three girls, attempting to bring his sister back on his side. Those three were the meanest ones around the orphanage! "You're only going to bully her and make her sad...!"
"She doesn't even like you," Himari said as she pulled out a small device from her pockets. It was the cool recorder that Shiro saw in Aiko's room the other day. The older girl grinned meanly as she pressed the red button on the device. "Just listen to this."
"You agree with us that your brother is a freak. Right?"
Shiro widened her eyes when she heard the familiar question and her eyes darted to Tenko just as her response echoed out.
"Yes..."
The look of betrayal in his eyes was shattering as he staggered and fell on his back.
"See?" Mine and Aiko looked at the boy with twin sneers. "You're really a freak if even your sister thinks so."
"N-No, I don't!" Shiro tried to explain. That wasn't true—what she said wasn't true! It was a lie! "Nii-san, I—!"
"We promised to always be there for each other, so why...?" Tears weld up in Tenko's ruby eyes as he scrambled to his feet.
"Shiragiku has had more fun playing with us than she ever had with you," Himari said. "You get it? No one cares about a freak."
"That's not true! Nii-san, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Shiro really didn't mean what was recorded on that device. It was a lie! But Tenko was already spiraling. She chased him, but her little legs could only take her so far and the orphanage was so big before he disappeared out of the room.
Tenko had always been good at hiding because of their father. But she was always the one who manages to find him sooner or later. She just needed to find him again, just like before.
"Nii-san, where are you? Please—"
CRASH!
"Kids, get out! The orphanage is on fire!"
Bakugou felt the girl's grip on the back of his shirt tightened as she struggled to continue, but he soundlessly urged her to go on.
"I wanted to apologize, but too many things happened that day," she revealed with so much regret. Remembering it now, she realized those girls only used her to get to Tenko. Every day since she woke up from the coma she grows more angry at herself because of that. "That stupid lie that I told ended up being the last thing he heard because a villain attack that night and caused the fire. With everything in a chaos like that, I couldn't find him. I just... I couldn't," she looked up at the blonde with weary ruby eyes. It was heartbreaking to see.
"If I had never been so stupid to believe in those girls and said something so hurtful about him... Or even if I had managed to find him that day, he would've been saved. He's a villain today because of me."
Her most inner thoughts was out. The guilt that had laced her every waking moment for the past two weeks... It was finally out now.
It's my fault...
She was suddenly flicked in the space between her furrowed brows and she flinched.
"That No. 4 hero... He told me something during my internship," Bakugou said while letting out a sharp sigh from his nose. He promised he wasn't going to say anything, but he knew this was appropriate for her to hear. "'Heroes and villains are two sides of the same coin.' One can't exist without the other. If he's a villain today because of you, then you're a hero today because of him. It's not much consolation because I told you I'm not good at that shit, but... If you don't regret becoming a hero because of this, then become the best damn hero you can be and face him again. Face him and kick his villain ass because he can't blame all the wrongdoings on a four-year-old kid who just wanted friends. You can't change the past, but you sure as hell can change the future. You're a damn probability manipulator."
Shiro was sort of in awe. Up until now, this was the first time Bakugou really showed so much support without first offending the person. What he said resonated with her deeply.
Change the future.
He was somehow able to relieve her mind and heart of doubts with those words, and she found herself genuinely cracking a smile.
"Bakugou..."
Seeing the radiance slowly return in the girl gave Bakugou the urge pull her into his arms again, but Bakugou refrained himself when he heard the elevator ding.
"Finally done!" Kirishima's exclamation could be heard as he walked into the common area with Sero and Sato. He was the first to notice his two friends by the kitchen and waved, "Yo! Shiro-chan, Bakugou! You guys are quick!"
The guys all seemed to be done around the same time, or it could be that it was getting around the time for dinner so they automatically came down, but the common area was filled with noise the two were no longer alone. Shiro and Bakugou stepped away from each other before anyone could question what they were doing.
"Oh, you're all here!" Midoriya piped as he also came down with Kaminari, Tokoyami, and Mineta. "Good work!"
"Shut it, Deku," Bakugou was immediately back to his usual self but he gave Shiro a passing glance before making his way back up to his room. "You guys are noisy as hell. I'm going to sleep."
"Boys, are you all done with your rooms?!" Mina called as she came down with the rest of the girls except for Tsuyu. Her black sclera eyes went to Shiro after seeing her as well, "There you are, Shiro-chan! We were wondering where you went!"
"I finished early..." Shiro supplied.
"Oh!" the girl nodded and grew an excited grin to show all of the people in the room. "Well, the rest of us girls were all talking to just now... Want to have a room presentation contest?"
As the rest of the guys opposed, the girls' decision overruled their cries without a bat of an eyelash. Shiro managed to excuse herself and promised to check out everyone's rooms on another date. She wasn't excluding herself to wallow in her frustrations anymore; it was just opening up to Bakugou made her realize just how tired she had been for keeping in her guilt.
Sitting down on her bed, Shiro sighed once more. But this time, she was relieved. Remebering to do something, she quickly typed and sent out the short message from her phone. After that, she laid down and closed her eyes with a small smile, drifting off to sleep comfortably for the first time in weeks with a certain blonde on her mind.
Ping.
In Bakugou's dark room, the screen on his phone lit up next to him and he uncrossed his arms from behind his head to pick up it up.
Aisaka Shiragiku: Thank you for listening.
He always knew she wasn't made of glass, but even a sturdy wall can chip at times. He had completed what he sought out to do—Shiro was in a better mood and place of mind now, and somehow, that put him at ease. He caught himself smiling at his phone and dropped the device on his bed with a small huff.
What are you doing to me, Pigtails?
Three days passed as everyone settled into U.A.'s Height Alliance Dorms, and it was time the hero course students resumed their studies to devote their days to becoming heroes. No one was disillusioned to think that the momentary calm after All For One's defeat will last forever.
"As I said before, class 1-A of the hero course will be focusing on getting their provisional licenses," Aizawa announced at the front of the class. "A hero license bears with it the great responsibility of human life. Of course, the exam to receive one is very difficult. Even the provisional license has only a 50% passing rate each year. That's why today, we will have each of you come up with at least two ultimate moves."
The concept of an ultimate move wasn't new to the students and some have already been honing one or two special moves from everything that has happened. USJ, Sports Festival, internships, training camp—all of it had contributed in some way for them to get a better grasp of their abilities and limits of their Quirk to know what works and what doesn't. It was time for them to pick up what they left off at the training camp and further their limits.
"While the training camp was canceled, the training you did to develop your Quirks was part of the process to create your ultimate moves," he revealed. "In other words, until the beginning of the next semester, and for the ten days or so until the end of summer vacation, you'll be working out our ultimate moves as you develop your Quirks. You'll be doing intensive training!"
Of course, Midnight, Ectoplasm, and Cementoss was here to help as well. The students met at Gym Gamma after changing to their hero costumes and saw Cementoss use his Quirk to make a mountain structure in the wide gym with platforms for the students practice with Ectoplasm's clones. Aizawa continued his instructions.
"In addition, you should think about how you can improve your costumes to work better with your developing Quirks. The support course will be helping you with this, so go to them for any adjustment requests. Most importantly, get through this with a 'Plus Ultra' mentality," Aizawa added with a serious glower. "Are you ready?"
"Yes, sir!"
Even though it will be intensive training as the hero warned, everyone was excited to make their own ulitmate moves or build upon what they already have. Shiro was the latter. With her Absolute Zone and Reality Rewrite, she had two strong ultimate moves in her arsenal.
As she worked with her own Ectoplasm clone during the ten days, she focused on intergrating her combat skills with the zone and performing small rewrites with the substrate around her to attack or defend from Ectoplasm. Those around her were working hard as well and constant explosions and cracks from the cement mountain could be heard.
BOOM!
"Take that!" Bakugou shouted as he fired a large blast that got rid of his Ectoplasm clone. "It's been a while since I've been able to go wild! It feels good! Ectoplasm, mine died! Give me another!"
Of course, the blonde was exceptional at anything combat related and was the first runner for the strongest student in the class. The other was Todoroki, who can use both ice and fire in succession to attack and defend all at once. From the recent events that happened, she found herself growing much closer to the two in different ways. She used to compare her shortcomings to their strengths, but now she saw them both as model allies as she push forward with a new goal.
"Become the best damn hero you can be and face him again."
Telling Bakugou everything allowed her to really rationalize things in her mind and stop blaming herself so severely and instead take responsibility. The journey to become a hero will be a hard one, but she wasn't alone.
"I'll stay by your side and face those risks and dangers with you."
She knew what was more important in her heart. She was unwilling to see any of her friends or teachers hurt because of Shigaraki no matter how much she sympathized with him. The Shigaraki now is no longer the Tenko she knew, so she will take it upon herself to stop him with the help of her amazing classmates, out of love and out of duty.
She chose the path of the hero, and she will bring her brother out from the path of the villain.
I will save you this time, Tenko.
I hope everyone is doing well! The world is going through some tough times, but we can get through this one step at a time. Spread happiness, not fear! I recently recieved an AMAZING fanart from AzureVermillion, and I'd like to share it with the rest of you! Go to deviantart and paste this after the hyperlink:
/azurevermillion/art/Shiro-chan-832230074
It's a fanart splash page of Shiro - the sketches are so wonderful it's guaranteed to make you squeal. Please check it out! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you next time :)
***In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, here's a PSA!***
1. Take self-quarantines/lockdowns seriously to protect yourselves as well as others. Even if you feel that you may not be in danger/will survive the virus, please think about those around you who may be immunocompromised and will not be able to survive it. Don't travel just because flights are cheap.
2. Please don't panic-buy! You only need supplies for 1-3 weeks, and panic-buying will only take supplies away from people who need it the most. Just because you are fortunate enough to buy in bulk, it doesn't mean others are. Some people can only afford buy a small amount each week. Some may be old and live alone. Please don't take neccessary supplies away from them because of selfishness.
3. Please visit your local Asian markets and consider ordering food from Chinese restaurants! Many are family-owned and have been hit the earliest and hardest due to xenophobic fears and racism surrounding COVID-19, so business is slow and they need help. It is NOT their fault, and NOT ALL Chinese people have visited China in the past few weeks. Diseases don't discriminate and you shouldn't either.