Obfuscation

She hit the ground running, looking back over her shoulder – from the shapeless demon at her back, the menacing footfalls drawing closer. She turned the corner and screeched to a halt upon the sight of a young girl in a hooded emerald cloak standing silently at the other end of the hall. Hermione knew upon first glance that she was face to face with a teenaged Morgaine. Hermione approached her, cautiously. Morgaine smiled and shook her head, extending her arms she spoke "It is time to stop running, mother."

Hermione, breathless, shook her head and said "But something is after me."

Morgaine shook her head and repeated, "There will always be something after you…after us. But you need to stop running. You need to look – you need to see."

Hermione was afraid, she didn't want to look – she only wanted to escape. To escape from the evil that she knew was behind her.

"You run not towards sanctuary, but from your own fears."

Hermione felt a chill raise the hairs on the back of her neck as she heard the footsteps slow to a halt and she knew that whoever chased her was directly behind her. Slowly Morgaine approached her mother and kissed her on the cheek. Before pulling away, she whispered into her ear. "There are wolves in the world, mother. Wolves in the skin of sheep. They brought about their own hell, don't let them take you with them."

Hermione didn't understand, and looked upon her child with wide, fearful eyes. Morgaine gently held her mother by the arm and slowly turned her around to face the source of Hermione's fears. Tears overflowed and spilled down Hermione's cheeks as she looked upon Remus, Poppy, Tonks, and Molly. "What is this?" Hermione asked. The all stood before a basinet, each one pointing to it, blank stares on their faces. Hermione saw Morgaine, as a baby, squirming amongst the blankets.

"This I swear to you tonight, your child will live within my care – and I will raise her to the light. I swear to you, I will be there."

Hermione could not even fathom what was going on, so the teenaged vision of Morgaine continued on. "The future is still uncertain mother, but you need to know that great danger lies ahead – and what I need is you to come for me. Now."

Hermione shook her head. "I can't…my powers…"

Morgaine replied in a more forceful manner. "You are no threat to me, mother. But there is someone here who is…"

"Who? Which one of them has you?" Hermione asked in a breathless voice, her heart racing as she looked from face to face of the 3 witches and wizard before her who loved her and swore to protect her. "How do I know this is real?"

Morgaine rested her hand over her mother's chest and replied. "I think you know. You know here. In your heart. Trust your instincts mother, for me…and for her." She moved her hand down, laying it upon Hermione's womb. Hermione clasped her hands over her child's, feeling as though she might faint.

"But…how?" Hermione asked.

"With magic, all things are possible…and we need you…now." Morgaine whispered. "Time is of the essence, you must hurry in order to prevent this tragedy."

"What tragedy? I still don't understand!" Hermione shouted.

Morgaine shook her head sadly and said, "I cannot reveal anything beyond what I have told you, for the future is not set in stone – but if action is not taken soon, then something will happen that cannot be undone."

"I don't know what to do…" Hermione whispered once more. "My strength wanes. It's enough just to stay upright."

Morgaine looked into the liquid brown pools of her mother's eyes, her own ones begging. "Your strength does not wane, mother. It grows, from within. You possess a power of old which has the power to save – not destroy. You need to tap into that now – for our sake. Please, trust your instincts…trust your heart – and mine."

"Are you," Hermione began, "telling me that one of them is a threat to you, to us?"

"I cannot reveal more than I have already said." Morgaine replied. "I said before, there is a wolf in the skin of a sheep. I have already warned mother. I told her that it takes a cat to snuff out a rat. But…you need to come for me. The countdown has begun."

The vision of Morgaine slowly disappeared before Hermione, who began to panic. "Wait! I have more questions! Countdown to what?" After the vision disappeared, Hermione saw the 4 figures before her morph into one, and before her stood Lucius Malfoy – a twisted grin spreading wide across his face. Hermione's heart skipped a beat and she felt paralyzed on the spot. He approached her and she could not move. He spoke, "I told you I would take that which should have always been mine." Hermione felt pain through her body. She looked down and saw she was dripping with blood, slashes and burns covering her body – the same ones that he left on her that day in the dungeon. Hermione woke with a start. She shot up in bed and opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. The wetness she felt upon her was sweat, not blood. She held her head in her hands as she was assaulted by flashbacks from the dungeon. She felt a stickiness between her legs and feared that it was no mere nightmare, until she heard Minerva – lying beside her, mumbling in her sleep – and she remembered that they had finally consummated their love. Maybe Minerva was right…maybe it had been too soon. Without disturbing Minerva, Hermione crept into the bathroom. She locked the door behind her, then gripped the sink so hard that her knuckles turned white. She looked at her moist, flushed face in the mirror and wondered what was happening to her. She sank down to the floor and allowed the tears to fall. She looked at the palms of her hands, turning them over -as though she was examining the source of her power – and where it was really going to take her. She was overwhelmed with emotion and began to breathe heavily – a panic attack on the rise. Still naked, she gazed upon the scars on her legs and her mind began to drift…to wander. She needed a release from the pain. A trapped animal – pacing back and forth in a prison not of her making – trying to walk past her own self-loathing. Where is the lifeboat? Where is the great white horse, with her savior riding astride?

"I'm sinking slowly, so hurry hold me. Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on."

Begging for a release – from the deep red sea within. No pressure valve, save for one… Hermione's eyes glazed in a trance. She traced one finger over a scar on her leg – opening the skin with the ease of a scalpel. She repeated the process, over and over – watching the blood trickle at first, then begin to flow – forming a puddle on the floor. Paying no mind to the blood on her hands, she held her head – her hair becoming matted, her face becoming stained. She laid on her side, holding herself in the fetal position – feeling a primal release overtake her – wave after wave. It was exhilarating. She was so lost in herself the she didn't even hear the door quietly click open. It was Minerva's voice that brought her back to the present. "Oh God, Hermione." She whispered. "What have you done?"

Hermione looked into the tearful, emerald eyes of her lover, who had a hand clasped over her mouth. The corner of her mouth turned up into a smile as she replied with a choked sob, "I can feel..."

"You bleed just to know you're alive."

Minerva hit her knees and scooped Hermione into her lap – covering her in her robe, rocking her back and forth. "Hermione, this isn't living! This is hurting yourself!" Hermione and Minerva broke down and wept into each other's arms. A thousand thoughts raced through Minerva's mind. She wondered what happened to drive Hermione to such extremes, and what was it going to take to stop this repeated insanity. She wondered what would have happened to Hermione if she was no longer around to rescue her. She felt the air close in around her and she wiped her brow – leaving a stroke of her lover's blood behind.

"I hear a voice, 'you must learn to stand up – for yourself – cuz I can't always be around.' When you gonna make up your mind? When you gonna love you as much as I do? – cuz things are gonna change so fast."

"We can't do this anymore, Hermione." Minerva whispered, standing up – looking down at her love, covered in a blood-soaked robe. "I can't do this anymore."

Hermione wiped her face and sat up, heart fluttering. "What do you mean? Are you saying you are leaving me?"

"I don't know what I'm saying, Hermione." Minerva shook her head sadly. "Only that every time I see you hurt, it breaks my heart. I have tried to protect you from the enemy, I have brought you back time and time again – yet here you are, causing destruction to yourself. It is a slap in the face to those who love you and want to help you – and my heart is tearing into two…" Minerva turned her back so Hermione wouldn't see the pain in her face – but it was completely resonant in her voice. "There comes a time for self-preservation, Hermione – and I die inside every time I see you take a willing step backwards…I have to wonder who will be here to pull me back from the edge?"

Hermione stood and said firmly. "I would…I always will."

Minerva turned to face her and said, "How can you say that? You can't even save yourself. And this –" Minerva gestured to Hermione's self-inflicted wounds, "Shows that you don't even want to."

"You don't understand," Hermione replied – her voice sounding hurried, "I needed a release. I've been a hostage in my own mind, Minerva. I see it, all the time – even through my waking eyes: Round and round and round. I wake up screaming, physically sore – trying to stop this worry, trying to learn how to unhide from this past which will forever haunt me. I needed to feel – I needed to feel the tiniest bit less dead inside!"

Minerva looked away, tears brimming in her eyes – threatening to topple. "And I don't make you feel that way?"

Hermione's breath caught in her throat. "Of course you do, Minerva. You are the reason I am alive at all, but I needed to do this. You don't understand."

"No! I don't understand, Hermione! I don't understand why, while you are so sick of being in pain – you are causing it, yourself!"

"I can't explain it." Hermione whispered as she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her leg.

Minerva turned, sniffed, and held out her hand – saying, "Come on, let's go see Poppy."

Hermione felt as though her heart stopped. "No." She said firmly.

"What do you mean 'no'?" Minerva asked, in a tired voice. "I am too tired for your willfulness tonight, Hermione."

"No, you don't understand." Hermione said, her breath hitching as she stood. "Morgaine came to me. In my dream."

Minerva stopped breathing. If it weren't for the dream she had the other night, then she would have thought Hermione crazy, but she knew that she was speaking the truth. "What did she tell you?"

Hermione was surprised, "You believe me?"

"Yes. I do. Now tell me, please." Minerva replied.

Hermione told Minerva of her dream, from beginning to end. Minerva had to steady herself against the sink, feeling as though her heart would pound out of her chest. Hermione walked over to Minerva, her bloody feet feeling sticky against the floor. "What are we going to do?" Hermione asked.

Minerva was at a loss. All she knew was that Morgaine was being passed between Molly, Remus, Tonks, and Poppy – hoping to confuse the enemy.

"I don't know." Minerva whispered. "I honestly don't know. I can't imagine any of them being a threat in themselves, however…Morgaine said "wolf in the skin of a sheep". The first thing that comes to mind is polyjuice potion…which means one of the 4 is in danger – if it has not already happened."

Hermione stared off into space, trying to figure out where to start, how to start – who to start with. Was there no one that they could trust? An unexplained feeling came over Hermione – for a fleeting second, as she gave Minerva a cautious sideways glance – berating herself for the thought that came into her mind, but she could not shake the feeling of distrust. Minerva could sense Hermione looking at her, and she met her gaze – seeing the questions in her eyes. "No. Hermione, don't think for a second…"

Hermione backed away, confused. "How can I not? You told me that you would never leave my side, and just a moment ago – you said that you can't do this anymore…"

Minerva put her hands up, as though in surrender. "Hermione. Listen to me." She said slowly. "That is not what I meant. I spoke out of frustration, but I meant what I said – I will never leave you. Please do not get paranoid. We need to stick together to get through this."

Hermione continued to back away. "I am so confused." She whispered.

"That is exactly what the enemy is trying to do, Hermione. They are trying to turn us against each other…all of us." Minerva said.

"I don't know." Hermione said, eyes darting all over the room, searching for an escape. "I can't be sure."

"Trust your instinct, lamb." Minerva begged, as she and Hermione circled each other. "What is it telling you?"

Hermione finally reached the door, and she backed through it. "It is telling me to find my child."

"Ok." Minerva replied. "Let's talk about it, let's figure out where to start. Trust me."

"No." Hermione said, shaking her head – wide eyed. "I don't know what to believe anymore. Not after what she showed me. No. I am so sorry, Minerva – but I need to find her myself…and if this is all real – then you need to help the others. The countdown has begun. That is what she told me."

Hermione waved her hand, putting a barrier over the bathroom doorway – trapping Minerva inside, in order to get a head start without Minerva trailing after her. Hermione quickly dressed as Minerva cursed, trying to quickly bring the barrier down. Hermione looked up and said, "I am so sorry, but instinct is telling me that this is the way it has to be done." And with that, she fled the room.

"Sometimes, we remember that which we forgot. Sometimes, we forget that which we have learnt. Sometimes, we run when all we want to do is stay. We laugh when we want to cry, and stay silent when all we want to do is scream. We get scared when we are perfectly safe and feel calm when in danger. We hide in the closet to escape the monsters under the bed, and we hide under the bed to escape the monsters in the closet. We fight our friends and push loved ones away, all the while befriending the enemy. We speak the truth to conceal the riddle. Sometimes, it feels as if we live our lives backwards and inside out."

TBC – please review/comment/suggestions?