I do not own Twilight.
Even Alice and all of her exuberant personality does not breach the surface the rest of the ride home.
I'm too caught up in my own mind to notice the looks she gives me while we wind through the dense green. I recall perfectly the first letter, and the M that sat identical on it as the one that is now hidden in my breath pocket. While I've always been curious about the sender, I've never looked for them, and now it seems that perceived hesitance was for good reason. Whatever my resources, I'm clearly out matched here.
It is not a welcomed notion.
To know that I am here, even within the region could lead too closely to Charles and his family. It leads to closely to Marie. I wasn't unquestionably confident in her research skills but reasonably so, still, she's quite careful for a human, perhaps my own paranoid tendency is a family trait.
The fact however, remains. The lead here would have been directly from her, and that settles a lead stone in my stomach.
I have to know she and little Isa are alive.
Something I cannot do while surrounded by a coven I do not fully trust.
To make matters worse, I know leaving will not guarantee the privacy I need to see her. I can deny to connection all I want, spend years pretending it's nothing more than left over obsession from all those years ago, but the truth is Edward is mine. My mate.
He would follow.
While Garratt is still roaming the Midwest, and I know where to find him, that too is out of the question.
He does not ask and I have never told my reasons for running my 'errands' alone. Besides my natural tendency towards secrecy I have always known that Garratt long ago stopped regarding humans beyond food. Asking him to go there is too much of a grey area to risk.
My list grows thin.
"Bella?"
Apparently one thread of thought has kept me the entire ride.
Alice is looking at me again with a strange worried expression.
"Sorry. I tend to lose myself sometimes, a personality trait that never left me I suppose."
She smiles and waves me off, if nothing else she is learning more about me whether I actively tell her or not.
"It's ok, that happens to me sometimes. If you like, you can bring your bags to my room. Edward has a decent sized closet but probably no hangers. I swear that boy would wear the same pair of pants everyday if I didn't swap them out."
He did grumble something to that effect the other night while showing me his room.
If only hangers were the worst of my problems. I would happily solve such a little matter, but my problems are not so easily solved.
Which is why I have to go.
"Actually I am going to step out for a moment, but I'll take them up when I get back."
Alice nods but doesn't go right away, instead she looks at me again and for the smallest second I fear she sees right through my lie.
"Don't be too long, ok? I won't be the only one to miss you."
Her smile is sad, but she gives me another nod before turning and disappearing into the house.
A far better match for the Major than anyone would assume. If I could shed tears, I know right now would be a rare moment that I would.
Goodbye Alice.
She's left the garage open, in the pitch black of the night, I slip away.
I don't stop running for a long while, if I do I know I'll give into this yearning to run back to him. I'll tell him everything. I'll risk all those I hold most dear for this tugging in my chest, for the beautiful man who fits so perfectly it hurts.
So I push myself faster, I pull my shield tighter, erasing all traces of me, it'll be as if I've never touched soil here. If it were possible, I'd steal away the memory of my face from his mind, even those that have dimmed from his last moments as a human. I'd keep him from the slow agony I am slipping into with every mile I put between us.
If only such a gift existed within me.
Instead I have to hurt him to save my family, but I can't find another way, I can't see a solution where both he and they are safe, happy.
I'm long gone before sunrise, I know I've crossed state lines when the mile markers along the highway change and begin to decline, but I only dare come close enough to check every few hours and only when I'm sure not a soul will see me. It's a rare sunny day, and though I'm nothing more than a blur to a human eye, it's enough to capture attention. So I stick to the green and brown barricade between myself and the world just beyond, a disgruntled part of me is in slight dismay at the tattered state I know this lovely coat will be in if I keep this up all the way back to my sleepy windy city.
Its hours before I happen across a town with just enough of a population to guarantee a vacant car. As fate would have it, the first one I come across is a Volvo.
Leaving cash on the doorstep of the little home and pulling away leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Alice already pointed out Edward's 'old man' car to me earlier, and now driving one myself, I'm wishing she'd let me think it was Carlisle's or perhaps Esme's.
Instead I'm mocked as I race down the streets and back out onto the interstate. I don't want to think of him. I can't. He's a distraction that I cannot afford.
Lord, now even my inner monologue sounds as pathetically love sick as the rest of me.
I shake off the useless musings and pull out my cell. I cannot tell him everything, but going in blind and without any muscle would certainly be a worse move.
Thankfully he answers on the second ring, grumbling as he does. At least some things never change, and that makes me smile.
"I hate this tiny device Isabella, and if you were anyone else I'd have destroyed it the moment you turned a blind eye."
Garratt's gravelly voice warms me, as for the greeting, well it is more or less the same every time I ring him.
"It's called a cell phone Garratt, and it is much more convenient to call rather than waste months tracking you down."
He laughs a bit before agreeing. "True enough where you're concerned, but don't let that go to your pretty little head. Now, what do you need?"
I veer around traffic before slowing just as a cruiser comes into view.
"A little backup, just in case. Interested?"
"When and where?"
We're meeting just outside the city center. My rental stashed around the corner in a lot with a ridiculously high parking fee, and my poor coat in the backseat. Unfortunately I could not save it, and upon ditching the Volvo a few states back I had to duck into a store for fresh clothing.
To say the sales girl behind the counter was bewildered at the sight before her would have been an understatement. Luckily, cash tips make such things pale in comparison to a crisp hundred.
So here I sit, in a pretty little navy dress, new boots, tights and a leather jacket while clutching a coffee that I won't drink. Pretending to sip is easy enough.
"You have always looked beautiful in blue."
He sits next to me in a grand gesture, making eyes at me while I take another pretend drink and hide my smile.
"And you never fail to lay on needless charm."
He smirks before throwing glances around us. Our little bench is planted firmly in front of the bus sign, but we are the only ones who appear to be waiting for the giant metal box that seems to always smell of urine.
"So here we are again, little sooner than I expected."
I nod and stand, throwing away my prop before looping my hand under his arm and resting it against his inner elbow. From there I throw out my shimmery shield and watch his stance relax a bit. Those around us take less notice now than they did before, barely giving Garratt a first glance before going about their way.
"I wish I could say this is a pleasure visit my dear friend, but that would be a lie."
He sighs and steers us towards the lot I told him my car would be in if I were not here when he arrived.
"Out with it little Belle, I know you. You would not call me unless something came up, and you know that I would come no matter what."
I'm already bracing myself for the very real possibility that I may be ending a decades old friendship, but as I am already perfectly aware, I have no options that have a better chance than this.
"I wish I could tell you everything Garratt, I truly do, but it is not possible, so I am asking you first to trust me."
He pauses in our step and stares down at me for a moment.
"I already do Isabella."
I pray that remains so.
"Then let's take a drive."
E.P.O.V.
She's gone.
I've felt the gaping hole in my chest since last night.
Alice came in alone, and I waited, having heard Bella's voice from my perch at the piano. I played, and I waited for the dull ache that became more and more alive to cease. When it did not I went out looking, only to find nothing.
No scent. No trace of her.
Alice was waiting for me when I returned. Her expression gave her away.
"You knew what she meant when she said she was stepping out."
I'm sorry. Her mind whispers to me.
I want to lay in the betrayal I feel, but I could never bring myself to be truly angry with Alice. I don't move towards her, but I do not throw my fist through the wall beside me either.
"Where did she go?"
"I don't know, you know I can't see her. She was so quiet the whole way home, and when we got here it was like something just switched. I can't see her future but I could see the decision on her face. Edward, if I thought there was any way I could have gotten her to stay, to just tell us whatever it is she's hiding I would have. Please believe that."
What is she hiding?
It's been the one question I want answered more than anything, but I already knew she wouldn't answer. She'd given so little of her past in our short time here, but nothing to tell me at least something of where she'd go.
I let my heart override my head and now I'm here with this hole in my chest that shouldn't be there.
Because of her.
A growl ripples through me and now I let my fist loose, breaking a sizable hole in the wall.
Enough to bring the attention of everyone else.
"Edward? What's going on?" Esme's worried face appears behind Alice.
Following her the rest of my family comes into the room.
"Did the lovers have a spat?" Rose is smirking.
Her distaste of Bella runs deep enough that her thoughts are drowning in the glee of her leaving us. I snarl before I can stop myself, and the only thing that seems appealing right now is wringing that stupid neck of hers.
"Enough Rosalie." Carlisle doesn't need to shout to silence her.
He's the closest person to a father I've ever had in this life, and already shame is creeping through me as I look back at the hole in the wall.
"Bella left." My voice sounds dull and lifeless even to my own ears.
Esme makes her way around Alice and then her hand is on my shoulder, she squeezing gently.
"Did something happen Edward?"
It's impossible to ever stay angry when I'm around Esme, she's my mother in all ways that matter, and I can hear it in her voice, her pain because I'm upset.
My hand covers hers and I shake my head. "I don't know why she's left, or where she went. Alice only just told me."
Esme doesn't waste any time. "Did something happen today while you were out Alice?"
I don't know, she was fine until…until we made that stop for her in Port Angeles. Edward! Something at the post office, she went dead silent after she came out to the car!
I throw a quick nod to her but I'm gone before I can actually think. Every instinct is telling me to go there, it's somewhere to start.
Maybe a clue as to the mystery that appears to be my mate.
Running there means staying out of sight, and possibly giving whoever is working a heart attack at the mere sight of me, so I drive.
Speed is more like it, avoiding cops is a perk of reading minds. I make record time there, but I shouldn't have bothered.
I pull into a deserted parking lot and realize that it's past midnight.
Waiting until morning would be the sensible thing to do, charming the desk help and getting into Bella's mailbox, but this panic thrashing around my rib cage would drive me mad before the sun comes up. Plan B it is, a broken window and a disabled alarm system.
Her scent is fresh, hours old, and it leads me past the desk, over towards the wall of smaller mail boxes. I could tear the door right off but it would draw more attention to her and without even needing to ask, I know that is something that she wouldn't want.
Good thing the master keys are underneath the desk, hanging on a rusty little hook.
It's a long shot, but I'm hoping something is left in there. Anything to tell me where she is. Pulling open the little metal door, I'm staring at an empty dead end.
Nothing.
Just her faint scent.
Dammit.
"You don't really think she'd leave something behind do you?"
I growl at him and shut the box with a loud clang. Jasper sighs and scratches his neck while his mind races.
It's a blur or dizzying thoughts and images, and only one catches my attention.
Bella.
She's crouched in front of a group of vampires, all who look very keen on taking her down.
My snarl echoes around us, rage builds up inside at the thought of harm coming to her. I recall the scar on her wrist and with sickening dread I realize, it could only be one of many.
I can't help but tug at my hair as Jasper's mind whirls more, flashes of those monsters blurring towards her, a faint distinctly feminine snarl that I know would be hers. She snaps the first arm she touches clean off, but in doing so, another catches her arm, sinking white teeth into her flesh. A yell mixed in pain and rage rings through my mind and I watch in horror as others descend on her. It's horrifying the way they grapple for her limps, but I can't close my eyes. She moves with fluid grace, using her small size to out maneuver a few and when another gets close something happens. It's just the two of them, the others can't move any closer no matter how hard they try. I watch through Jasper's memory as she takes a few of her opponent's rough swings only to finally catch an opening. Her own teeth this time tear into the flesh of his neck and my mate finishes the process of separating his head from his body with her hands. There's a gleam in her eyes that the monster inside me recognizes.
She's enjoying this.
Her snarls fill the air again, and the others suddenly almost fall forward in their desperation to get to her. When she backs away, looking more like a vampire than before, I see them.
The others coming out of the trees. She's out numbered. She's trapped.
"Enough. Stop thinking of her!"
It's all becoming too much, feeding the frenzy of emotion tearing through me.
When I feel my control slipping, it suddenly stops.
Replaced with peace.
Jasper.
"There ya go, I need you level headed Edward, you're not gonna like what I have to say."
He steps closer to me, and even though I'm calm, it feels thin, as if the smallest of things could break the façade.
"How do you know her?"
Answers. I want answers.
I'll be doing some E.P.O.V.'s throughout the rest of the story to give everyone a glimpse into his side of things. I love hearing your thoughts.
Until next time.