He grimaced as another wave of pain rolled through his leg, this time centered near his knee. It was the type of pain which made it hard to breathe properly.

He gritted his teeth. He wanted to pull the call cord, he wanted to ask for more morphine. But it wasn't that long since the last time he did so.

He glared down at his injured leg, then glanced over at the red call cord which had slipped off his bedside table and now just hung from the wall on the opposite side of it.

He lifted the covers and looked down at his leg. The bruising was ridiculous, the swelling was too. Obviously it didn't matter that his leg was elevated on a mountain of pillows.

As a last ditch effort, he started massaging the area between his thumb and index finger. No surprise, but it didn't help.

Grumbling a little, he caved in, and reached for the red cord.

"Ooop! Bad mistake." He winced, his left hand darting down to steady his hip. That was about as close to his injury he dared to touch.

For his next attempt, he held onto the bed railing on the opposite side of where he was leaning to. He reached the red cord and pulled it, before securing it with the book which had been in the care package the team had brought him.

A few minutes later the nurse entered his room.

"Anything I can help you with?" he didn't have time to answer before she answered herself, "You look like you're in pain again."

He nodded, trying to relax his expression. "Can you do something about that?"

"I have to check with the med list, but I'll come by with something if it's already set up. If don't, I'll track down a doctor and do my best to force him to prescribe some more."

"Thanks." He grimaced and pressed his eyes shut.

She studied him for a little after the meds were in. "Is that better?"

She knew what his answer was going to be before she asked. He looked way more relaxed, pain wasn't written all across his face, his breathing wasn't strained.

"Yeah. Much better."

She nodded, "I'm going to take another look at your leg, are you ready for that?"

He nodded a little again, "Think I'll let you do all the looking this time."

"That's alright." She smiled back.

"Could you adjust the pillows a bit as well?" he asked, "I think my leg laid better earlier today."

She nodded, "Think I might need some assistance from a coworker then, but sure. We want you to be as comfortable as possible."

He offered up a smile.

"I'll just take a quick glance at your leg first, then I'll go get another nurse to help me with your leg."

"Super."

She winked and lifted the layers of fabric which covered his leg and the metal contraption poking into his leg.

"Looks good, you haven't bled any more after I checked on you at the start of the shift."

"Well, that's good." He offered up a satisfied smirk, "How's the pulse?"

"I'll check right away, are you prepared?"

"Think so…"

She placed a couple of fingers along where one of his arteries ran. This time he didn't flinch much. "Good. Strong and steady. And your foot has a good temperature."

"Good." He smiled.

He couldn't keep his eyes away when nurse Emily and the other nurse worked together in order to find a better position for his leg.

The contraption held his leg in one position and one position only, but the pillows supporting his leg had deflated throughout the day and that seemed to put a strain on his leg.

It was weird watching the nurse lift his leg by the frame. He was impressed by how well she held it, he had honestly expected more pain. But then again, maybe it had some correlation with the fact that he just had gotten some of what Sonny had referred to as 'feelgood juice'.

"How are you feeling?" the nurse he didn't know yet who was holding his leg up asked, dark brown eyes meeting his.

"Okay." He chanced a deep breath.

"Not too much pain at the moment, I hope."

"No, ma'am." He flashed a smile, "Just fine."

"Maybe we should test the pillows now?" Emily suggested as she placed the last freshly fluffed pillow where Metal's leg would go.

"Sounds good." he nodded and held his breath as the other nurse lowered his leg carefully.

"How's that?" Emily asked once Full Metal's leg was rested against the pillows once again.

He scrounged up his nose a little, "Think my knee needs more support."

Emily nodded, "Yeah, looks like it. How about your ankle? Is it too much pillow under your ankle?"

Full Metal frowned, "I don't know."

"Okay?"

He shrugged a little and looked up at the nurses, "My ankle hurts, but I can't… I don't think I can feel my ankle or heel… Does that make sense?"

They both nodded a little.

"That's gonna pass, right?"

The nurse who had held his leg looked over at Emily.

Emily shrugged a little, "That's way too early to tell, I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you."

Full Metal sighed, "It could stay like that?"

"It's possible that it'll be permanent." Emily nodded, "But it might also be just because your leg is beaten up as bad as it is."

"I might never be able to walk properly again…" he worried and ran a rough hand over his short hair, "I'll probably never serve alongside my brothers again."

Emily watched as Scott came close to hyperventilating, and her heart ached as she watched his eyes gloss over.

"Hey-now…" Emily placed her hand on Full Metal's free hand, "First: Take a deep breath."

He did as she ordered, even without thinking.

"That's true, it might happen. But right now, it's way too early to know." She gave his hand a squeeze, "I know this probably has ripped the rug straight out from under you. You're obviously a fit man, who knows and enjoys taking care of yourself. So this must be a new and uncomfortable situation for you, and the idea that it might be something you'll just have to get used to must be just as scary."

His eyes focused on her green eyes, and her hand on his seemed to anchor him. "I won't be me."

"Yes, you will. But right now you've got to allow yourself to rest and relax." Emily said as she leaned her elbows on the railing of the bed, "You've got every right to worry, and if you want to we can talk about that afterwards. But just remember, your body is still in crisis mode, and the healing hasn't started yet. Right now you haven't even walked up to the starting line.. And you'll still be yourself no matter how well your leg will heal. I know you might feel that way, but what you can do or not, that's not what defines you."

He swallowed hard and gave a short nod.

"And your buddies… You'll still be Full Metal to them."

He couldn't help but burst out in a short laugh, "You heard about that nickname?"

"Your buddies came looking for you by nickname. Took them a couple of tries to piece together the name you're admitted under."

Full Metal chuckled a bit more.

"Now, should we try to place those pillows better?"

Metal nodded, "Yeah, would be great."

"Same procedure as last time?"

He nodded.

The nurses were about to exit his room when he figured he should speak up.

"Hey, uh… Emily…"

Emily stopped while the other nurse stepped outside, "Yeah?"

"About that talk…"

She nodded.

"I think I might need it."

She nodded again and closed the door after the other nurse.