So, I have a tumblr like most people in a fandom or most people in general. I'm pretty much shipper trash, anyway it has come to my attention via tumblr that there are quite a few people who don't like fanfics that are in first person. I have never, not once thought about this. Sure, I've ran into cringe-worthy first person fics before, but this has never dawned on me as a potential problem for my readers. What do you guys think? No first person and strictly third? I normally use both interchangeably story to story, but I'd like to hear what you guys think. You all are, after all, the reason why I keep writing.

Also, we are going full throttle this chapter because it's probably the second to last chapter, there's not much story line, but I had to set up some groundwork. It's also relatively short because the next one will be very long. Anyhow, Enjoy!

P.S. I really wanted to do this in third person. My heart was screaming at me to do it in third, but I want everyone to understand pain, Maya's in particular. Also, I was feeling rather melancholy while writing this chapter and I'm sure you'll notice. Sorry!

"Maya?" Riley's voice echoed off of the near empty hallways and into my ears. Her voice was laced with both suffering and hesitance as she approached me. I swallowed my anger unable to look at her or anyone for that matter. I stilled in my chair as I felt her presence on the chair next to mine.

"Peaches?" It was a desperate whisper this time and as her hand attempted to touch my shoulder I flinched away. I heard her suck in a breath. My eyes were trained on the ground.

"Please talk to me Maya."

I had been biting on my lip. I didn't realize it until the taste of metallic pierced my taste buds. I let out an uneasy breath and finally looked at her. Her head hung low while her fingers were mindlessly playing with each other. It was the most odd picture. A normally composed Riley, a Riley who generally folds her hands in composure was now unraveling her hands. She was unraveling. I sat there, my eyes now on her and scrutinized her. It was through prolonged minutes of fidgeting that her eyes finally came into contact with mine that I steeled myself. I refused to react to her tear-filled eyes.

"How long?" I don't think she was prepared for how hollow my voice was going to sound. How dead I sounded. On some level I don't even think I was expecting to sound that way.

Her eyebrows came together, her nose scrunched, and her lips waivered all the while her head shook.

"I-I. You-you don't unders-"

"I understand Riley!" I snapped as she flinched back at my sudden outburst of anger. I was no longer sitting beside her, but standing over her.

"I understand that I'm covered in my boyfriend's blood! In your uncle's blood!." I finally looked at myself, my blood-stained clothes, and the sense of panic finally began to bubble itself to the surface.

I gasped in as much air as I could unable to stop the wail that escaped my mouth. My fingers combed themselves through my hair in uncertainty.

"We were just- and then he started coughing. Coughing blood and then he just, he fell. And I-I." I crumbled. My feet buckled from under me and Riley sat on the floor with me, hugging me, as I cried. I let her hug me for a minute before anger built up in me again.

"You knew." I spat at her. She knew and she didn't tell me.

"You've known Riley and you didn't think to tell me?!" Riley shook her head again in defense, tears now falling down her face mirroring mine.

"I tried to get him to tell you Maya-" She cried bringing her knees to her chest.

My head violently shook disregarding her answer.

"You are supposed to be my best friend!"

She stood silent, gaping at me.

"I am your best friend."

I stood up wiping my face in a hurry.

"Then you would have told me that the boy I love is dying." Her stare was dejected, she was unable to meet my harsh gaze anymore. She placed her head in her hands and cried. I left her.

I've never had anything against hospitals. Everyone I've ever cared about has been in relatively good shape, that is until now. I tugged at my blonde strands as to control the pain I was feeling. I stopped in front of his room and took a ragged breath in hopes of calming my fear. He had been stabilized hours ago, I just hadn't been to see him. It took me at least ten minutes to work up the strength to open the door and when I did I was greeted by every Matthews I had ever met not that I saw any of them, any of them besides one, who even in his condition still managed to be looking at me with concern rather than be concerned for himself.

I was frozen in front of the door. I was no longer angry. I was just scared. Scared for Joshua Matthews. I didn't notice everyone leave, but they did.

"Maya?" I blinked rapidly as his melodic voice embraced me to my core, but no matter how sweet the sound the underlying weakness of his voice also enveloped me. Tears threatened to spill over and I had to look away from him.

"Maya, if you don't come sit next to me I will get out of this bed. My doctors would have a field day with that one." I choked up a tear filled laugh at his empty threat.

"You wouldn't dare." I was surprised at how normal that sounded coming out of me and as I looked back over at him he had sat up and was beginning to throw his feet around the bed.

"Hey!" I yelled rushing over to his side.

"Don't be stupid Josh!" I pushed his legs back on to the bed and glared at him.

He smiled and I internally scolded myself for not noticing the significant amount of weight that he has dropped since we started seeing each other.

"Maybe I need a tutor?" He chuckled intertwining his hand in mine while gently pulling me to sit next to him on the bed.

"How can you be joking about this?" I whispered looking up at him. His Adam's Apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. His thumb slowly caressed my bottom lip actively stopping me from biting down on it any further.

"You're going to hurt yourself." His hand stayed pressed on my cheek, his thumb rubbing back and forth. I wanted to vomit.

"You're already hurt." I whispered unable to stop my tears as I rested my hand on top of his. We stood like that in silence for a few seconds just being hyper aware of each other.

"I'm sick." I nodded unable to form any coherent words. I could feel his fingers shaking ever so slightly against my skin.

"We kept it a secret because I didn't want anybody to be weird around me." He attempted to pull back his hand, but I held on harder.

"Including me?" I cracked unable to believe what he was saying. He paused, his eyes wide and misted. He stared and trembled in my touch.

"Especially you! You know, I was getting along with everything fine. I accepted it, and then you happened!" The weight of his words rested on my chest as I dejectedly removed my hand from his. I wasn't this person, but I couldn't stop the tears that escaped my eyes either. I bowed my head down and let my hair cascade around me, so he couldn't see the effect he had on me.

"No, Maya that's not-" I shook my head quickly swallowing any uncertainty in my voice before I spoke.

"Don't Josh. It's ok." I went to stand still refusing to look at him, but his hand shot out to grab my arm and he gently tugged me back towards him.

"Hey," I focused my eyes at the corner of the wall behind him instead of meeting his stare. He placed his thumb on my chin and forced my stare. I hadn't noticed the pink that tinged his eyes before now and it only brought me more pain, knowing that he was in pain. He looked my face up and down and ran both of his hands down my hair, stopping at my neck. He cupped my neck and pulled my face the rest of the way to meet his.

This kiss was soft, wet, and brief. It was, however, one of the most emotionally demanding kisses I've ever experienced. After mere seconds he pulled back just slightly, his breath might as well have been mine. The proximity of his lips intoxicated me, but the weight of my tears only served as a reminder. His lips kissed the side of my mouth first, and then gradually he made his way down my jaw line, here was the man I love-sick and still kissing me, consoling me. His final kiss was at the nape of my neck and I shuddered as I felt his tongue softly press against my skin. He remained there as he wrapped his arms around me and cried.

"I was never afraid to die Maya." He said as he clutched on to me tighter.

"I'm still not afraid to die." My eyes slammed shut. I couldn't hear this, but he held me tighter and tighter with each word.

"I'm afraid to be without you."

I woke up in his hospital bed, his arms still around me. He was sleeping blissfully next to me and I had never hated the world more than what I did now. This perfect human being, my perfect human being, was dying. I blinked back the tears and traced the outlines of his facial features. As I was tracing his lips his hand caught mine and he laughed, kissing my hand.

"That was probably the most erotic wake up call." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and I chuckled as a blush crept up my cheeks. Since when did Joshua Matthews make me blush? I pushed my hands through his hair and forced myself forward, pushing him on his back. He laid between my thighs, and my chest rested against his. My hands trailed down the length of his arms, capturing his hands in mine. I began to guide his hands off the bed as I stared at his deep, blue eyes and merely hovered over his lips.

"I think we can come up with much more fun, erotic things." I internally smirked at the disbelief that crossed his face and the increase in pulse that I both felt, and could hear from the very distant beeping of a machine.

I finally placed his hands on my ass and forced his fingers to squeeze. I watched him groan, and felt his excitement underneath me. I crashed my lips on to his and suppressed the moan that escaped from his mouth.