You're a protagonist Harry
Chapter 16 – Who let the dogs out?
…
"Can't believe she knows more about you than you do."
"Who doesn't," said Harry glumly. "I didn't even know I was a wizard till about a week before I came to Hogwarts."
"Didn't they know? The people you lived with I mean?"
"They knew," a hard-edge creeping into his voice. "They knew what I was. They knew what every strange thing that ever happened around me was, and they never told me. Told me magic wasn't real."
"Not real?" the idea was positively scandalous. "Oh, right, you said they were muggles. Bloody worthless you ask me."
"Not all muggles are like that," Hermione interjected.
"Did I say they were?" Ron shot back, but Hermione would not be cowed.
"It was strongly implied," her eyes glaring daggers. "I'll have you know my parents were very supportive when I got my letter."
"Oh yeah, what a they do?"
"They're dentists."
"Well that explains it," Harry chuckled, "what's a little black magic to someone who's already that evil."
"Being a dentist does not make you evil," she squawked indignantly.
"Ah, but Hermione, you forget. They're not just dentists, their British dentists."
"Eeeeeeevviiiiiiiil!" Ron declared, his sniggering quickly devolving into full on laughter.
"Oh! You! BOYS!" the not boy declared as the boys cackled at her outrage, but despite the force of her exclamation, there was no real heat in it. She couldn't even muster up a good glare without grinning. "Honestly."
"Oy! You callin me a liar?" Ron cackled.
She rolled her eyes at his pitiful attempt at humor, "Well what about you then? What do your parents do?"
"Me?" he seemed surprised to be the center of attention. "Well, dad works for the ministry, the office of muggle, something or other. He mostly goes around uncursing muggle things wizards have cursed. It's not a big department. Just one other guy works there."
"And what about your mother?"
"Mum?" he considered the question. "Uh, looks after us, makes food, keeps house…"
"She's just a housewife?"
"What's wrong with that?" Ron demanded, unwilling to ignore her dismissive tone.
"It's nothing, I just thought, a witch would be able to do more."
"More than what exactly," he demanded, refusing to let the point go. "More than take care of her family, her home, the people she loves."
"I didn't say…"
"But you were thinking it!"
"How would you know what I was thinking?"
"I know!"
"Oh I'm sure!"
"CHILDREN!" Harry interjected himself between the two. "Perhaps we could just agree to disagree on this subject."
"Yeah—whatever," Ron groused.
"I didn't say anything wrong," Hermione grumbled under her breath.
"Call it a cultural difference," said Harry, who's own aunt had also been a housewife and nothing more, unless being a nosy busybody counted. "Shall we go. It's gotten rather late."
The other two noticed this as well, once it was pointed out, and none of them wanted to be caught after curfew. The stairs however thought it might be funny and did what they did to move things along in that direction.
"Oh, come on!"
"Bloody stairs. Now which way do we go?"
Feeling especially decisive, and because both of them were looking at him for some reason, "This way," Harry decided at random, and off they went.
"You sure about this Harry?" The unfamiliar hall bringing out the squawking poultry in the ginger Gryffindor.
"Not a bit," said Harry to Ron's everlasting horror, "but you decided to follow me so you've no one to blame but yourself."
"He's right you know," said Hermione.
"Who asked you!"
"Okay, seriously," Harry jumped in, "if you two can't get along I'm going to lock you both in the nearest broom cupboard and leave you there till you've snogged it out of your systems."
It was amusing to see the disgust and horror writ cross their faces. It was also curious just how similar those looks were. It was damned hilarious how much worse they got when he pointed that out.
"That's not…"
"It isn't!"
"It's not funny Harry!"
"Stop laughing you jackass!"
He wanted to. He really, really wanted to. It hurt to laugh so hard, but he just couldn't. Every time he looked at them, they stared back with those horrified faces, and, "NO! Stop! No more!" he squealed. "I'm gonna pee. I'm gonna peeheeheeheeheeheeheeeeeeee! Oh! I did it… bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
It was absolutely humiliating, though whether that was for them or him was a little unclear. But the night wasn't through with them yet.
"Mrow!"
That lone sound, the greeting of felines cross the globe, somehow sucked all the humor out of the air in a single instant. Not bad for one syllable.
"Shit! It's Mrs. Norris!" said Ron, glaring at the scraggly scrawny cat.
"Maybe she's just out for a walk," Hermione offered desperately. "Just because she's here doesn't mean he…"
"Mrs. Norris!" 'he' called.
"You were saying?"
"No time," Harry cut in, scrambling to his feet from where he'd been rolling around on the floor. "Come on!"
Together the trio barreled down the unknown hall, opposite the direction of the caretaker and his cat.
"Where are we going?"
"Why do you think I know?"
"This way," Hermione decided when they reached an intersection.
"Oy, who put her in charge?"
"Just go!"
Their directionless flight eventually brought them to a door. A door that was locked.
"Aw great! Now what!" Ron grumbled, only to be pushed out of the way by the witch with the wand.
"Alohomora," she whispered, and the lock opened. "Quick, inside."
Given no time to argue the trio squeezed through the door and pulled it tight behind them. The sound of footsteps indicated, just in the nick of time.
"Mrs. Norris. Are there naughty students out after curfew Mrs. Norris?"
Through a crack in the door three trembling eyes watched the flickering light of the lantern pass, the crooning call of Argus Filch following along till the hall was again shrouded in darkness and silence.
"Cor, blimey that was close!" Ron exhaled overloudly.
"Shhh!" the other two shushed.
"Sorry."
"We'll wait a bit, just in case he comes back," said Harry.
"Why'd he have to be up here? Of all the places in the castle it had to be here," Ron complained.
"Just bad luck I suppose." But luck is a funny thing. Just when you think you've gotten it; it turns around and gets you.
"Oy, stop breathing so hard."
"I'm not breathing hard! And would it kill you to brush your teeth. Your breath is foul."
"I do brush my teeth!"
"Then floss."
"Now you're just making things up!"
"Guys."
"No I am not!"
"Guys?"
"You totally are!"
"GUYS!"
"Grrrrrr!"
Whether it was 'GUYS' or 'Grrrrr' that got through to them, the pair looked up at what Harry had long ago noticed.
"oh!"
"eep!"
The beast towered over them, three heads with teeth bared stared down like a fat man eyeing a juicy steak.
Hermione, unable to vocalize, worked her mouth in pantomime while Ron just stood there, eyes growing larger and larger, the blood rushing from his face causing freckles to pop against pasty white skin.
The giant dog growled, and his friends looked ready to either flee or pass out, but just as he'd been the first to notice it, he was the first to realize what he was looking at.
"Fluffy!"
"Aroo?"
The three heads looked confused. What was this thing speaking their name? It wasn't Hagrid, too small for that. It wasn't the wizard, not enough hair. But it knew their name?
"Fluffy?"
See, there it was again! It said Fluffy!
The three-headed dog crouched down, three tongues lolling excitedly.
"Harry! What are you doing?" Ron cried in a hoarse whisper.
"He's Hagrid's dog," said Harry.
"He's freaking huge!" Ron pointed out.
Harry shrugged, sure it was huge, but so what. Aunt Marge's Ripper had been a tiny little thing and terrorized him to no end. It wasn't the size of the dog in the fight, it was the size of the fight in the dog. And it didn't take a genius to see there was more play in this dog than fight.
"Who's a good boy? Is Fluffy a good boy? Yes he is. Yes he is!"
The giant three headed pooch wiggled and squirmed in pure delight. He'd been so lonely, now there was someone to play with. And they were scratching under his chin. He LOVED that.
"Yeah, that's right. Fluffy's a good boy. Yes he is. Yes he is!"
The floor shook under the thump of a happy tail, a rolling drum of joy expressed from the behind.
"Harry! Harry, we need to go," Hermione whispered as loud as she could, brave enough to be out after curfew but not brave enough to raise her voice to a giant three headed dog.
"Alright, alright, I gotta go now."
The very idea made Fluffy very sad. But, never one to miss a chance to say thank you, the big Fluffy puppy did so in the way all dogs have since the beginning of human canine relations. With three tongues.
"Harry, mate—you okay?" Ron ventured, once they were well away from the third-floor corridor and safely close to Gryffindor tower.
"I'd always heard love stinks," said Harry a bit woodenly. "I never heard it was this wet and slobbery too."
"Well, look on the bright side," said Hermione, keeping a noticeably safe distance, "at least you know he loves you."
Harry gave the girl a skeptical look, "Would you like some love Hermione?" he said, holding out his arms and walking towards her.
It was a bit telling she didn't immediately scream 'no' and start running, she had to seriously think about it.
"So, it belongs to the groundskeeper?" she said, maintaining her safe distance. "Why is he keeping it in the castle?"
"He lent it to Headmaster Dumbledore," said Harry. "He's guarding something?"
"Really? What?"
"Not sure," said Ron. "He didn't let that part slip when we were talking to him."
"If it's what I think it is, it's not very big. But that doesn't really mean much. Being small hardly means cheap." So long as it sparkled, people would kill for it.
"You said it came from Gringotts? Kinda odd don't you think? I mean, moving it from a bank vault to here. I heard Gringotts has the best security in the entire world."
Both boys shrugged. When put like that, it didn't make much sense.
"The only reason it would make sense to move it," she continued, "is if they knew someone would get into the vault."
"Which would also imply they knew someone was after—whatever it was," Harry added.
"Whatcha spose it is?" asked Ron.
"Well, I don't know," said Hermione, "and I think it's best we just not worry about it. If the headmaster put it there, he must have had a good reason and we shouldn't go poking around in his business.
"Now, if you'll excuse me," she said primly, "I'm going to bed before one of you gets another bright idea to get us all eaten, or worse, expelled."
"Us!"
"She does remember it was her idea to drag us all the way to the trophy room, right?"
Whether she did or didn't was of little consequence. They were the boys thus all that went wrong was by default to be blamed on them.
"I tell ya Harry, she needs to get her priorities in order."
"I'm not holding my breath… I need a shower, then bed."
"Yeah, another day survived," the ginger proclaimed. "I'm sure tomorrow'll be better."
"Tomorrow's Monday Ron."
"… aw crap."