Chapter 4

The door slammed behind Dean, leaving Sam and Alison in silence in the motel room. She refused to look at him. She didn't know what to do, how to act. Things had been going well. For the first time in years, her life was somewhat okay. She had even been having a great time hanging out with the Winchesters. Just her luck that it was all screwed to hell now.

The awkward silence continued as Sam finished patching himself up. She went back to looking at the floor, feeling guilty that Dean hadn't even been able to patch Sam up properly.

This is why you can't go with them. You will just end up hurting them. That's what you do.

She forced herself to ignore her thoughts and looked for a distraction. Moving towards Sam, she slapped his hand away from where he was trying to wrap his ribs and took over. Just act normal, she decided. Nothing's changed yet. Dean isn't your fa- your anything. These guys are just reaching for something that isn't there.

Sam observed Alison as she continued her task, lost in her thoughts. He felt bad about just blurting his suspicions out loud instead of confronting Dean in private. Clearly, he had hit a nerve, and he didn't know how to fix it.

"I'm sorry," Sam said softly. Alison's grip faltered for a second. She sharply exhaled but gave no response, almost done with the bandages. Sam tried again.

"I'm sorry Alison. I shouldn't have sprung this on you –"

"You didn't," Alison said sharply, "you didn't spring anything because there is nothing to be sprung – or whatever. You're wrong. So, Dean slept with my mom, I'm pretty sure he wasn't the only one! I don't know why you have this idea in your head but it's –"

She stopped and took a shuttered breath.

"It can't be true. She told me he died. She told me he abandoned us. If this is true, that means she lied. She lied to me my whole life! When I was little, I dreamed about having a family. A family that loved me, that cared for me. Then I grew up, and I don't want that anymore. So, I don't want it to be true. It's better that way, for everyone."

She moved away from Sam as she finished patching him up. She could feel his eyes following her, the pity in them making her blood boil. She wasn't broken. She was a survivor, dammit! And she didn't need anyone's pity.

"Stop," she snapped at him, "Stop looking at me like you want to fix me!"

"I'm not!" Sam defended, "I just… I can't imagine going through that. I mean, we didn't have the best childhood but I always had Dean. He pretty much raised me. I don't know where I'd be without him. I don't pity you Alison, I admire you. You're stronger than I was – than I still am."

She was speechless. Strong? He thought she was strong? The guy who fought the devil and won, who saved the world a hundred times over, thought she was strong? That was hilarious.

"I'm not strong, Sam. I can barely keep it together on a good day. If you knew some of the things that I've done…" she trailed off, averting her eyes.

"You think Dean doesn't struggle? I don't? Alison, just the fact that you're still going is enough to tell me what kind of person you are. You're a fighter, and everything you've done, you've done to survive. You think I'm going to judge you? I'm not the most moral person around, in case you haven't noticed," Sam smiled wryly at her, urging her to look at him.

"Whatever you choose, or whatever happens, we won't just abandon you. You know that, right?"

She saw the sincerity in his eyes and it tugged at her gut. She couldn't figure out why they cared so much. They barely knew her. They certainly didn't owe her anything, hell – Sam was hurt because of her. Even after she had tried to make Dean angry, they just wouldn't let her be, and she couldn't, for the life of her, understand why. So, she asked him.

"Why?" It was barely a whisper but Sam heard her anyways.

"Is it because you think I'm family somehow? And what happens when you find out that I'm not? I know you're confident about your assumption. Is that why you both are so dead set on helping me? I don't get it. I mean, I'm nobody."

Sam sighed.

"No. I swear, this is half the reason I think you're Dean's daughter. You're just so much like him. Neither of you understand your worth," Sam said tiredly.

"Kiddo, you don't need to be family for us to do the decent thing. In case you forgot, Dean offered you a place with us before we even made the connection between your mother and him. And yes, I was hesitant, but it wasn't because I didn't want you with us. I was concerned – we don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to keeping our friends safe. I just didn't want you to get caught up in something and end up dead," Sam continued.

Alison realized the truth in his words. Dean did offer to take her with them before they even found out how young she was.

"Also, you have so much potential. You're a good kid and we happen to like you. It's just that simple. Don't overthink it," Sam ordered, starting to figure out how her mind worked.

"I'm not overthinking. I'm just looking out for myself, I guess. I've met too many people who wanted to 'help' me before. They just pawned me off to the authorities the first chance they got. I don't want that happening again, I'm fine on my own," she reluctantly admitted.

Sam's heart dropped. He'd heard the horror stories about foster care before, and from the way Alison was acting, her experience didn't seem to have been a pleasant one.

"We're not going to do that kiddo, I promise," Sam pleaded with her to believe him.

"And if I decide I don't want to come with you guys? Will you leave me alone?"

"You know we can't do that. I said we're not going to hand to over to the CPS, I never said anything about letting you go off on your own. Even if I wanted to, which I don't, Dean wouldn't let me. He gave you two options kiddo, you gotta pick one."

He walked across the room to the mini-fridge and took out a beer. Walking back to the table, he twisted the cap off and took a drink before setting it down. Alison eyed his beer and then the fridge, hoping to get one herself. It had been a long day. She started to move towards the fridge.

"Don't even think about it."

She glared at him but sat back down on one of the beds.

"I for one, would prefer if you came with us," Sam carried on their previous conversation, "I know it's dangerous, specially now, but leaving you with Jody doesn't feel right. I'm sure Dean would agree. We won't force you, of course. And even if you do choose Jody, Dean will probably want to check on you from time to time. So, you're kind of stuck with us now kiddo."

Sam was entirely to gleeful for her taste as he said his piece. Neither option sounded particularly delightful to her. Either way, she would have to submit to someone's authority, which would be fine for a normal fifteen-year-old, but she was terrified of not having control. She'd probably also be made to join school again if she chose to go with Jody. The sheriff's ward couldn't exactly skip schooling. The thought of school terrified her. She hadn't been to one in forever.

"Hey, tell me what's going on inside that head of yours," Sam urged her to talk to him. He could see the building tension in her shoulders as she got lost in thought, and couldn't figure out why she was so upset about them being in her life. They weren't that bad.

"I don't wanna go to school," she blurted out, scratching at her rope-burnt wrists. Sam reached out and grabbed her hands, stopping the anxious action. He realised she still hadn't treated them and went to fetch the medical cream and some bandages.

"Why?" he asked as he started in on her wrists.

"I – I don't – I just don't want to," she was stuttering, which surprised Sam. She had never faltered once in the little time he'd known her. She came across as quite a confident young woman. Maybe they just didn't know her very well, he realised.

"Okay," he simply stated. "You don't have to."

He didn't know why she was so opposed to school but he could take a guess. Her mom died when she was 11 and she had been on her own ever since. It wasn't hard to figure out that she probably hadn't seen the inside of a school in a while. Whatever it was, she was clearly bothered by it, so he would leave it alone for now. He didn't want to give the poor kid more anxiety than she already seemed to have.

Alison was still breathing fast as Sam finished with her wrists. He let go of her hands and gently put his own on either side of her face, urging her to look at him.

"You're okay kiddo. You're gonna be okay."

The tears surprised her. She didn't normally cry, but she'd had a hell of a day she supposed. So, instead of being embarrassed about crying like a little girl, something she detested normally, she threw herself into the gentle giant's comforting arms, giving in to the overwhelming emotions she'd been through in the past few hours.

"Shh, it's okay kid. Everything's gonna be okay," Sam consoled her, gently running his hand over her head as she burrowed herself into his chest.

If only she could believe him.