Special thanks to:
Pearl Darkness.
I AM HERE!
I'll be going to a book fair (a really large one) in another city on December! My wallet is going to suffer again, but it's worth it if it's for books~
I do not own RWBY.
#
Dear RWBY #30
Start.
"Hello! Welcome to another Dear RWBY!" Ruby Rose did the usual greeting.
"This episode is sponsored by IBurn!"
"Why...are we...recording at three in the morning?! And why is there a burnt smell in the dorm? Yang Xiao Long!"
"It wasn't me!"
"It's fine, Weiss! It's Sunday tomorrow!"
"It's...not…" Blake whispered after her lover's loud announcement.
"Beeeeeecause! I wanna go on a double date tomorrow! So we gotta rush it today!" Yang puffed out her chest and said.
"Can't you just...record the vlog during day time? Or earlier at night just now?" The heiress turned to the Faunus for support.
Unexpectedly, said Faunus' eyes sparkled as she looked at Yang, giving her a thumbs-up. The word 'double date' was edited near her hand. This had earned a rather loud facepalm from the white haired princess.
"Blake was out for the day because she needs to meet Ilia! She only came back a while ago." Ruby explained.
"That's-" A pause, then she continued, "Okay, that's fair. Still-"
"I'm reading the question again this week!" Little red ignored her partner completely and spoke.
"Be glad it wasn't your turn, bae!"
"How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?"
"Not enough~"
"LastOrder ask-"
"It's her again!"
Meanwhile, Blake was half asleep in the background.
"LastOrder asked, Dear RWBY, first of all...did you miss me?! Anyways, on the question. If the one you're in love with were to propose to you (I mean to be in a relationship...or you can just jump to marriage if that's what you prefer), would you say yes? ...Kidding, that's a very simple one. I mean, how will you prefer for them to do it? PS: Yar... I'll change it to 'your' instead of 'yar'. It's easier for me to read it." Ruby commented on the viewer's question, "PS: You're welcome everyone. Wink. PPS: I hope it's not Weiss' time of the month again when this question is answered...or can be, smirks."
"She's really annoying." Weiss gritted her teeth, "And no, it's not my time of the month!"
"It's Blake's." Yang answered nonchalantly.
"How did you-" Her sister gave her a look.
Meanwhile, Blake was still in that half asleep state.
"That typical anime style sparkle and thumbs-up she did just now? Gave it all out~"
"Indeed, I don't think a normal Blake would do that…"
"Ah." Ruby lightly hit her palm with a fist as she exclaimed, "Well...ahem, let's answer the question then. With 'propose', I supposed she was referring to marriage. Marriage…"
Blake suddenly jolted awake as she heard the last word her lover spoke. She then smirked and said with a proud expression, "If I were to propose to my lover, I would write a heartfelt message on a ninja scroll, attach it to an arrow and shoot it near their bed."
"That's incredibly dangerous!" Weiss retorted.
"I think it wasn't Blake's shark week." Ruby's face was slightly red. She raised an eyebrow in question and said, "Maybe Ilia fed her something. Where was their meeting spot again?"
"She didn't tell any of us." Yang shrugged, "Do you mean she's drunk?"
"Well, she just got back at two something and went straight to the kitchen, poured orange juice into a can of tuna and chugged it down."
"What the- how come I never knew all of that?!" Weiss yelped.
"You were asleep until we woke you up for recording." Ruby shrugged the same way her sister did.
"You think Ilia fed her catnip?" Yang snorted.
"...There's a possibility."
"I must say I'm impressed." The heiress crossed her arms and smiled smugly, "You didn't get jealous at the fact that your girlfriend went out with a lesbian friend for the entire day. Until past midnight even."
"Why would I be jealous?" Ruby put both her hands on her cheeks and wore a sinister grin, "You think Ilia would dare to do anything to my girlfriend?"
Freezerburn gulped.
"W-Well, rather than talking about this...we should continue answering the question."
"Why are you all so weird?" Blake suddenly asked.
"You're one to say!" Freezerburn yelled in unison.
"Did I do anything wrong?" Ruby asked out of the blue.
"I don't know if it's because we're all sleepy and our true, hidden selves came out...or that we're just plain weird at night." Yang said.
"Yang, did you feed us anything?" Blake asked again.
"No! What's with the obsession of feeding since the last vlog? And why is this entire chapter so freaking weird?!" The blonde put on a 'the scream' expression.
"Maybe because you woke us up at three in the fucking morning to record a vlog, you horny amazing...potato...with blonde hair!" Weiss slammed the floor with her right hand.
"See, everyone is not normal." Yang said.
"Including the author. Dude probably needs a break." The Faunus closed her eyes and nodded.
"Don't get offended guys, we use 'dudes' for everyone." The blonde laughed, "That being said, there won't be an update for the next few days! Or possibly a week depending on her...situation."
Weiss let out an extra long heavy sigh.
"I think we all need a horny amazing potato in our lives." Ruby took a peek at Blake and blushed before continuing, "Well, if I were to propose to my horny amazing potato...I would fly to Menagerie, dive into the ocean and catch the biggest tuna ever, then give it to her under the moonlight!"
Blake gasped, "Ruby~!"
Ruby gasped, "Blake~!"
"Seriously, what is wrong with everyone?" Weiss shook her head in dismay.
"Guys, LastOrder asked you how you would prefer your lover doing it...not how you would do it." Yang said.
"Just swap our answers then." Blake replied.
"Yeah!"
Blake gasped, "Ruby~!"
Ruby gasped, "Blake~!"
The heiress groaned. She then blushed while answering, "I...well, I wouldn't need anything special. Just...put your heart into the words you say and…maybe some flowers and a r-ring."
"I just need her to show up naked with some beers and a ring."
"Hey!"
Team RWBY's door blew up at this exact moment as a loud, bubbly voice was heard, "Hiya Team RWBY!"
"Wow, that entrance was a blast!"
"Yang for fuck's sake-"
"I'm sorry." Lie Ren appeared behind Nora who just annihilated the poor door and dragged her out.
Footsteps were heard as a tall, blonde man stopped at the entrance and yelled, "Guys, are you okay?"
"Jaune? What's with the face mask?" Weiss questioned.
"Someone smuggled some kind of drug into the dorm and they accidentally mixed it with fire Dusts! It exploded and now the drug is spreading through the air! Hurry, get outside before you inhaled too much!"
"I think it's too late for that." Yang laughed merrily.
"Hehe that's why Blake was being so sweet~"
Blake gasped, "Ruby~!"
Ruby gasped, "Blake~!"
"What the f-"
Before Weiss could swear, Pyrrha had appeared beside her boyfriend; she was wearing a face mask as well. With a muffled and worried voice she spoke, "Let's go, guys!"
Then she paused for a moment.
"Why did you two look so...normal?"
"Now that you mention it…" Jaune questioned, "They haven't been covering up so they should have inhaled the drug…"
Meanwhile, the Ladybug pairing was poking each other's chests, giggling and exchanging looks.
"Oh Weiss is affected alright, why did you think she spouted something like 'horny amazing potato'?"
"Huh?" Arkos said simultaneously.
"Excuse me?!"
"As for me though." Yang extended her right hand while holding the arm with her left, "I have Touma level plot armor!"
-beep-
"Are you seriously gonna upload this mess onto our channel?" Blake crossed her arms as she scowled.
"Why not? Your actions last night were hilarious." Yang tried her best to suppress her laughter.
"Yang, delete this!" Ruby exclaimed.
"Are you recording us now?" The heiress pointed towards her lover's scroll on the study table.
"Yep, to edit it into the vlog as the outro."
"Yang! How do you think our audience will feel, watching an episode like this? An episode full of...nonsense?!" The leader slammed the floor with her right fist.
"They would be like… 'what the fuck am I reading' at the beginning but in the end, I think they would like it."
"No they won't!" The Monochrome pair yelled together.
End.
#
Disclaimer: I was not drunk when I wrote this.
Seriously though, it was fine when I first started writing it, but over time it just got crazier and crazier… and this chapter happened. If this doesn't fit your taste, I apologize. Please wait for the next chapter, I promise it'll be a lot more...normal. And no I'm not rewriting it. I'm lazy.
Leave a review if you wanna ask Team RWBY anything!
FB: IBurn 'Tank' RWBY Fanfic Author, Pa-treon: Freelancer Tank, Email: battletank dot ff at gmail dot com.
I do not own RWBY, nor Touma.
P.S. Granted, I only watched Railgun, but Touma's plot level during (spoilers) his fight with Accelerator is just...
Special thanks to:
Pearl Darkness.