The night before Beca's Sophomore year
It turns out there's a reason people exercise, it's an amazing stress way to alleviate stress. As soon as she realised that Chloe had been the subject of her fantasies and the deeper meaning of that Beca had felt completely overwhelmed. She needed to do something, literally anything, that would distract her from it. Beca's solution to any given problem was usually to make a mix, but she knew that doing so this time would just make her think of Chloe even more, and most likely result in yet another titanium mix. So she thought of one of Chloe's favourite hobbies outside of acapella: running. Beca was not exactly the active type, but thanks to Aubrey's insistence on doing cardio last year Beca had one set of workout clothes that would enable her to go on a run and hopefully clear her head. Once she got into the rhythm of running Beca found herself focusing on attempting to keep a steady pace and stop herself from blatantly panting; that would be beyond mortifying as campus was starting to fill with returning students. She was so preoccupied with doing so that she had completely forgotten about Chloe, and gradually she felt the weight of emotion lighten a little. Due to her aversion to exercise Beca sound found herself sweating and feeling drained. She took that as her cue to stop for a breather, and it was at that moment that she felt her phone vibrate. She figured it would probably be Jesse wanting to hang out or make plans for the next few days, so planned on replying once she get home. But, for some inexplicable reason, Beca felt the need to check the message. What she saw made the colour drain from her face and her pulse to race at an alarming rate.
Chlo: Hey
Beca nearly dropped her phone from shock. She stared at it for a few seconds completely dumbstruck, although in her mind it felt like an eternity. Beca started to feel lightheaded and kept rereading the message to check that she hadn't hallucinated the whole thing. Judging by recent events that wouldn't have been much of a stretch. But no, Beca was certain that it was real. For whatever reason, Chloe had finally decided reach out. A part of Beca was still so hurt with her former best friend for abandoning her and rejecting her attempts at communication that she was tempted to ignore the text. Give Chloe a taste of what it feels like to be ignored. But the thought of ignoring her favourite redhead made Beca's stomach turn, she knew that was not an outcome she wanted. Chloe had hurt Beca, so deeply that she wasn't sure how long it would take for her to fully recover, if at all. But she was Chloe Elizabeth Beale. The most wonderful person Beca had ever met, and that was regardless of any attraction that Beca may be feeling towards her. Beca felt her thumbs move of their own volition, with a total disconnect with her conscious thoughts. Beca looked at her phone again and saw that she had replied.
Beca: Hey
So maybe it would have been better if Beca had actually put some thought into her reply. She hadn't heard from Chloe in three months and all she could manage was the same monosyllabic message as the one she had received. Beca rolled her eyes in frustration at herself. But she also was slightly glad, as she didn't want to bombard Chloe with messages and make her panic and ignore her again. Beca knew she couldn't go through that again, not now that she had some hope that the two could be friends again. Beca's jumbled thoughts were interrupted by her phone vibrating again. Although she should have known it would be signifying a text from Chloe, Beca still felt the same intense physical reaction as she experienced before, with the added bonus of a shiver running down her spine. Beca hadn't felt this on edge in years, and that was saying something.
Chlo: I know I owe you an explanation for leaving, but for now could we skip that and just talk? I've really missed you Beca
Beca felt herself simultaneously thrilled and frustrated with the message. Chloe acknowledged that she needed to explain herself, but refused to do so. Why? And what exactly did she want to talk about that didn't concern her disappearance? The two no longer had the bellas in common and without the aid of one of Beca's mixes the two would only be making small talk. Something Beca truly hated, she wasn't even sure she could make an exception for Chloe. And then there was the fact that Chloe missed her, Beca felt her whole face light up of its own accord as she read the sentiment, but her joy was short lived. Her smile dropped when she read the final word of the text: "Beca". Chloe never called Beca that, she was always coming up with new nicknames for her favourite little DJ, or stuck with the classic "Becs", or even "Bec". So the lack of any term of endearment or nickname made Beca realise, or more accurately confirm what she already suspected: she was responsible for Chloe's disappearance. Beca was beyond frustrated at this point. She needed to know what she had done wrong. Her thumbs made the decision for her.
Becs: I've spent the last three months thinking about what I could have done to stop you from leaving. I've really missed you. Please come back and talk to me. I need my best friend back
Those four sentences from Beca meant everything to Chloe, and she felt her cheeks wet with tears in a matter of seconds. She knew that Beca was not one to express any sort of emotion that wasn't contempt, so she was painfully aware that Beca must have been truly hurt if she was willing to be so open and honest with Chloe. Part of Chloe had wanted that, she had called her "Beca" after all, she figured that Beca's reaction would be a good way to judge how she was getting on. What Chloe hadn't expected was that Beca was so hurt, she knew the brunette so well that her message practically screamed it. Chloe had been so wrapped up in her feelings for Beca and the fact that Beca had chosen Jesse that she had forgotten the impact she must have had on the freshmen, sophomore now Chloe supposed. Chloe had forgotten that first and foremost she had played a significant role in Beca's freshman year of college, they had spent time together almost every day and been best friends – much to Aubrey's chagrin. It was with this realisation that Chloe made a decision, she owed Beca an explanation. Well, part of one. Chloe wasn't willing to tell Beca why she had left, but she could at least tell her where she was.
Chloe: I had already made the decision before finals, you did nothing wrong. I've missed you too. I'm teaching children how to sing and read music in Zambia. I didn't see your messages until today as I changed my number. I'll be back in the US in a couple months
Chloe felt terrible. She reread her message and saw how cold she sounded, she knew Beca would be second guessing herself after seeing it. But Chloe was still utterly heartbroken, and she wasn't ready to go back to being her former bubbly self just yet. She needed more time to heal, and she hoped that maybe the occasional text conversation could help with that. At the very least she couldn't become more heartbroken, so that was a small positive, a silver lining if you will.
Beca read Chloe's latest text and could feel herself panicking. Chloe had said it wasn't her fault, but she sounded like an entirely different person. There were no emoticons or the usual acronyms mixed in, and it sounded all too formal. It was as if Chloe was texting an acquaintance, not her former best friend. Beca may be oblivious about a lot of things, but the message here was very clear: in some way she was at fault and had played a part in Chloe's decision to leave. And whatever she had done must have been beyond awful as it had driven Chloe to get on a plane and flee thousands of miles away. Beca did feel herself smile a little at the thought of Chloe surrounded by children, who were lucky enough to witness even a little bit of Chloe's talent and kindness. Suddenly Beca felt her eyes brimming with tears and she abruptly resumed her run. She needed the time it would take to reach her dorm to process the message and let the pain it caused her subside a little before she felt able to reply. A few minutes later she took a few deep breaths, partly from the rare physical exertion and partly to pluck of the courage to do what needed to be done. She replied, being careful not to push Chloe when she clearly wasn't ready to talk about leaving yet. If she hadn't felt so frustrated Beca would have felt more than a little proud of herself for showing so much patience. It looked like this was yet another thing Chloe could make her do that was completely out of character. Beca managed to completely avoid the topic she most wanted to discuss, hoping that doing so would keep the redhead talking to her.
Becs: That sounds amazing Chlo, I bet the children love you. Have you forced any of them to sing acapella yet? I can't go months without speaking to you
Chloe was completely perplexed by Beca's reply. She hadn't even mentioned why Chloe had left, or the fact she had ignored all of Beca's messages. She felt a little hurt at this, as she thought that if Beca was truly concerned about it she would ask. But another part of her was relieved, as she definitely wasn't ready to talk about it yet. And if Beca had brought it up Chloe wasn't sure if she would have been able to continue the conversation. As things stood Chloe felt able to continue talking to Beca, and started to hope that maybe the pair would be able to communicate on a regular basis. Although Chloe knew she shouldn't get ahead of herself, as nothing had changed. She was in love with Beca. Beca had chosen Jessie. Chloe could not be with Beca in the way she wanted and so desperately needed to be. So Chloe could kid herself all she liked, but any relationship that she was salvaging with Beca was purely platonic, and if she forgot to remind herself of this Chloe knew she would just continue to get hurt.
Chloe: They're so wonderful Becs, some of them are really talented too which is great. I've set up a choir, but no one was forced to join I promise! Me neither
Beca: Maybe you could film them singing sometime and send it to me? I would love to see how you've helped them. Would a weekly call be too much? Hearing your voice is so much better than text
Chloe: Of course Becs, that's a great idea and they'll actually be putting on a show in a few weeks so I'll get someone to film it. Awh you've lost all badass points now Mitchell. We could definitely try that
Beca: Can't wait to see it! Nope, still a badass Beale. Thanks for letting me in again, it's been weird not having anyone violating my personal space
Chloe: I think violating is a little strong Becs. You're just sharing your space with me that's all. And you know what they say about sharing. I have to go now, but I'll call you in a week. Bye Becs
Beca: If you say so Chlo. I'll hold you to that. Bye Chlo
After the initial messages that were wrought with tension and thinly veiled hurt on both sides, things began to reflect some semblance of normality. The tone lightened, nicknames were used and it felt easy. Beca hoped that Chloe would start to open up to her, and that maybe they could slowly work their way back to being best friends. Once she put her phone down Beca became aware that she had been standing in the middle of her room, damp with sweat and still in her workout clothes. She hopped in the shower and smiled to herself. One brief conversation with Chloe Beale and Beca was already starting to feel a little better. She ignored the fact that three months with Jesse had failed to serve as anything but a distraction. Instead she let the hot water run down her body and sighed, her thoughts returning once again to the dazzling redhead.