More than a monster
Chapter 1
It's time
Stein was absentmindedly tapping his calloused fingers against the stitches in his wooden desk. He took a long drag from his cigarette, allowing the skull shaped circles of smoke to envelop him as they swirled around the still air of the dimly lit laboratory.
"Professor?" He sounded out the word, tasting the shape of it on his tongue "I suppose it has a nice ring to it" He chuckled to himself before taking another deep inhale of his cigarette.
Lord Death, his former headmaster, had contacted him quite unexpectedly that afternoon, it had been several years since they had last spoken, even longer since Shinigami had asked for his help.
"I need your assistance conducting a lesson for some of our students Doctor Stein, do you think you handle it?" His voice sounded just as cheery as it had always been.
Stein didn't speak, he simply nodded silently into the mirror, gesturing for Shinigami to continue.
"If this goes well, I'd like you be the new professor at our Academy. You are the greatest Meister ever to come out of the DWMA after all." Death had mastered the art of flattery but Stein had no taste for it, he gave another small nod.
"You should know Stein, one of the student's taking this class will be Maka Albarn" Stein's eyes narrowed, his mouth pressed into a firm line across his angled jaw.
There was the sound of a door opening somewhere in the distance, Stein's eyes widened as he saw the familiar redhead enter the death room.
"I'll do it" Stein said flatly before abruptly ending the call, making sure to hang up before Spirit could get any closer, he couldn't face him yet.
He felt his pulse quickening, it had been so many years since he caught a glimpse of that crimson red hair. Stein slumped back in his worn chair and began pulling at the loose threads of his oversized jumper.
"Professor Stein?" he twisted the grey threads between his fingers as he pondered, entirely lost in thought.
He dragged his feet down the winding corridors of his home, each footstep felt heavy with the weight of anticipation. He stopped outside a blue door, the paint was chipped and peeling away. The doctor took a deep and jagged breath as he rested his forehead against the rough wooden surface before turning the cold brass handle and entering the bathroom. He wiped the build-up of dust away from the faded mirror with his sleeve and saw a pale, ghost like face looking back at him. His silver hair was a tousled mess covering the green eyes beneath his silver framed glasses.
His frayed jumper was stained from another late night of experimentation and dissection, his white lab coat was creased and covered in patchwork stitches, he laughed to himself – am I really going to start worrying about appearances now?
He removed his coat, carefully folding it and placing it off to the side. He unbuckled his worn belt and let his trousers fall noiselessly to the floor, he pulled his jumper over the stitching on his shoulders, revealing his toned chest and the hardened muscles beneath. The perfect curves of muscle were scarred from a lifetime of self-inflicted incisions.
"Shower" he muttered to himself, before turning the old steel tap and allowing the hot water to wash over him.
Bitter memories swirled in his mind, clouding his vision like an unwelcomed fog – he was 16 again, he was losing him all over again.
"You've lost Stein" The blonde 18-year-old smirked as she carried out the last few boxes from Spirit's room.
"I didn't realise this was a game Kami" he said flatly as he watched her pack away the last of his weapon's belongings.
Kami crossed the distance between her and Stein, she leant in towards him and whispered into his ear, her words were slow and deliberate. "He's mine now, I'll make sure you never get to wield him again" She threw her head back laughing at him and turned away to gather up the last few boxes from the floor.
She hovered by the exit before turning to give Stein one last look "and don't even think about contacting either of us, Spirit hates you now"
"Why would he..." Stein began, he could feel his composure slipping away as panic started to settle in.
"I've made him believe you were experimenting on him for all these years" She stared unblinkingly from across the room "It wasn't much of a stretch really, I planted the suggestion in his mind and like a seed, it grew"
"I never touched him, you damned liar!" Stein gripped the back of the sofa, it was all he could do to keep himself from throttling her.
"It doesn't matter" Her lips twitched into a wicked smile "He'll never believe you, not now that he's got me" She turned to face the exit.
"He's terrified of you now" The words came out in a harsh whisper "of your madness" She closed the door behind her with a gentle click.
And then he was alone in the darkness, hours must have passed, somewhere in the distance he heard a bell chime, it must have been well past midnight by now. He could not release his grip from the sofa as his nails dug into to faded fabric, it was the only thing left anchoring him to this world.
His spirit was gone.
As the hot water engulfed him, he felt his hands ball into fists against the cool ceramic tile of the wall. His mind went back further, to a place even worse than the last.
A 17-year-old spirit was sprawled across the sofa reading a textbook, with a furrowed brow and a perplexed expression across his features. A 16-year-old Stein was sat across from him, perched on the edge of an old tattered armchair as he watched his partner intently.
"Anything I can help you with?" He asked in a mocking tone.
"No, I'm fine thank you very much" Spirit retorted indignantly, burying his nose further into the book.
"You know, if you didn't spend so much time skipping class with Kami you might have an easier time understanding the textbooks" He said dryly, narrowing his eyes as he examined his friend, his red hair had been tied messily into a ponytail, loose strands falling at the sides to frame his face.
"What is your problem with Kami?" The older boy said sharply, snapping the book shut bringing his eyes up to meet Stein's.
"I don't have a problem" He responded coolly, pausing for a moment "I just don't think she's good for you"
"That's rich coming from you!" Spirit was agitated now, he threw the book to one side, he swallowed and closed his eyes, images of scalpels and incisions sending shivers down his spine
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean!" Stein folded his arms in exasperation.
Spirit was shaking as his anger continued to grow, there was a look in his eyes that the younger boy hadn't seen before... was it fear... or something worse, disgust? "Don't play dumb with me Stein!" He warned through gritted teeth.
"I wouldn't dream of it" He said matter-of-factly, bending down to pick up his partner's discarded book.
Spirit went silent for a long moment, gathering his thoughts before daring to speak.
"I can't do this anymore Stein" He turned away from his friend, unable to face him.
"I don't understand" Stein's voice grew shaky with irritation.
"I can't let you use me anymore" Spirit choked out the words, his voice cracking as he fought back tears.
He was at the door now, gripping the handle as he steadied his breathing, without turning to look back at his Meister, he spoke in a barely audible whisper "You're a monster"
"Spirit, I..." Stein's voice cracked into the empty room, he felt like the air had been ripped from his lungs. Spirit was already gone – the open door swaying gently in the wind behind him.
The doctor shook the images from his mind as he wrapped a towel around his hips and exited the shower, he glanced at himself in the mirror. It had been 14 years, why did these memories still hold so much power over him?
With his right hand he carefully adjusted the screw that held his fragile mind together, a quarter turn to the left ought to do it he thought to himself. It didn't have the desired effect, unable to alleviate the weight that those memories carried.
He grabbed a packet of crumpled cigarettes from the bathroom cabinet, sliding a long thin cigarette between his chapped lips. There was a quiet hiss and the smell of burning tobacco as he took a long inhale, clutching the cigarette with nicotine-stained fingers.
Shower water was trickling down his back, his silver hair slicked back behind his ears, he looked at himself again in the mirror. More closely this time, he looked so different from the last time they had seen each other. Small lines had formed at the corners of his lips and shaped the edges of his olive-green eyes. He traced his finger over the large stitches that curved over his cheek, finally raising his hand up to the large iron screw that now held his cranium together.
What would Spirit think of his monster now? He sighed and took another long drag of his cigarette before heading to his bedroom for a change of clothes.
It was time to get ready for tonight's lesson.
"I did as you asked Lord Death, the students have been instructed to head to the graveyard for their class tonight"
"Excellent work Spirit" Shinigami placed a large cold hand on Spirit's shoulder encouragingly.
"Who was that?" Spirit asked suspiciously, gesturing his hand towards the now empty mirror.
"Oh, just an old friend that's all" He chimed airily before taking a sip of his tea.
"So, are you going to tell me what your plans are for my daughter tonight?"
"Well, I thought Sid could give them a good scare, now that he's risen from the dead you see"
"A zombie? You think that'll be enough?" he raised an eyebrow "Your plans are usually much more elaborate"
"Well actually, there is a second part to my plan" He said perkily bringing his hands together in excitement.
"Oh?"
"But that's a surprise!" he chirped before taking another a sip of his matcha tea "Please have a seat" he gestured towards the zabutons carefully laid out around the skull shaped table.
Spirit obliged, carefully placing his knees on the soft fabric – that face in the mirror, it couldn't have been him. He shook his head, of course not – he was imagining things. The tie around his neck felt like it was getting tighter as sweat began to bead under his collar, his heart beating fiercely beneath his buttoned shirt. He sat there motionless, head bowed, the sound of his heart crashing in around his ears with a deafening force. What was this he was feeling, hope or dread? Determined to keep his composure, he balled his hands into fists underneath the table until his knuckles turned white.
He could hear the shrill call of the school bell even here in the death room, this marked the end of the day. The students would no doubt be making their way to Death City's graveyard shortly.
"Lord Death" Spirit asked quietly.
"Mmm?" He titled his head as he listened to his Death scythe.
"Do you think we could watch over their class tonight?"
"Of course, I expected nothing less – Maka is your daughter after all"
"Thank you" He smiled sheepishly and took a sip of the tea in front of him.
After a short while death turned to face the large ornate mirror that sat in the centre of the death room, he waved a hand over the glass to activate it.
"It's time"