CHAPTER 24
The next morning, Finn woke up and went to school, his mind still reeling with the events of the night before. However, he put everything out of his mind as he stepped onto the grass for morning Football training. This year, the football team was playing infinitely better than last year. Despite the fact that tensions between the football team and Glee club had never been higher, the team was performing better than they ever had before, and at the current rate, they had even topped the conference with a game to spare.
After football, he walked into the choir room for Glee rehearsal and he instantly felt both Bella and Rachel's eyes on him. He groaned to himself. This was going to be a long couple of months, especially given the current Glee topic…
"Love." Mr. Schue said, walking into the room. "Possibly the most popular theme to sing about in this generation. As you all know, your assignment was extremely simple: sing a song about love. This can be anything from love itself to heartbreak. Who wants to start?"
Finn stood up to perform. Once again, he didn't need Brad's accompaniment. It was going to be just him and his guitar.
"Um… so, I'm going to be singing a song I wrote myself. It's called Safe Inside."
With that, Finn started plucking his guitar strings to the soft acoustic rhythm…
I remember when you were all mine
Watched you changing in front of my eyes
What can I say?
Now that I'm not the fire in the cold
Now that I'm not the hand that you hold
As you're walking away
Will you call me to tell me you're alright?
'Cause I worry about you the whole night
Don't repeat my mistakes
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside
If you're home I just hope that you're sober
Is it time to let go now you're older?
Don't leave me this way
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside
Everyone has to find their own way
And I'm sure things will work out okay
I wish that was the truth
All we know is the sun will rise
Thank your lucky stars that you're alive
It's a beautiful life
Will you call me to tell me you're alright?
'Cause I worry about you the whole night
Don't repeat my mistakes
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside
If you're home I just hope that you're sober
Is it time to let go now you're older?
Don't leave me this way
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside
If you make the same mistakes
I will love you either way
All I know is I can't live without you
There is nothing I can say
That will change you anyway
Darling, I could never live without you
I can't live, I can't live
Will you call me to tell me you're alright?
'Cause I worry about you the whole night
Don't make my mistakes
I won't sleep, I won't sleep
If you're home I just hope that you're sober
Is it time to let go now you're older?
Don't leave me this way
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside
Will you call me to tell me you're alright?
'Cause I worry about you
To hear the actual song, click:
watch?v=goSpDQ0PDHs&ab_channel=JamesArthur
Or search 'Safe Inside James Arthur Acoustic'
The song was absolutely gorgeous, hauntingly so. Finn had once again absolutely nailed the assignment and put forth an extremely powerful message.
"Wow, um… Finn… that was gorgeous." Mr. Schue said. Finn smiled and nodded at him.
"Thanks, Mr. Schue." He replied.
"Yeah, how long did that take you to right?" Mercedes asked. Finn shrugged.
"Not long. Like two weeks. I started working on it before the assignment was actually given, so…"
Who was the song about?" Puck asked, grinning curiously. Finn took a deep breath and he looked both Bella and Rachel right in the eye.
"Nobody." He answered. "The song's not really about anyone, I guess."
"Well, it was beautiful nonetheless. Thank you, Finn." Mr. Schue said as Finn sat down. "Who would like to go next?"
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An hour later, Glee rehearsal ended and everyone started to get up and leave. Finn stood up and left the choir room but he didn't head home. Instead, he walked into the auditorium. The auditorium was the place Finn always went to clear his head. As he sat on the stage, looking out into the empty seats, Finn pondered. Bella or Rachel. Rachel or Bella. On one hand, Rachel and him had so much history between them and they were a pretty strong power couple in the Glee club. But on the other, Bella was just different to both Rachel and Quinn - his only two other ex-girlfriends. He had much more in common with her and she was so much more… relaxed.
Suddenly, Finn was pulled out of his thoughts when a light shone insanely brightly on him. He closed his eyes and tried to block the light.
"Woah, hey, can you cut the lights? I think my eyes are melting here!" Finn exclaimed. The lights dimmed down and Finn looked up to see who it was but all he could see was a shadow. He took a deep breath and watched as the person walked down. He heard footsteps and it was Brad walking to the piano
"Brad?" Finn murmured, confused. Brad just smiled and took a seat at the piano bench and began playing. Finn turned his head and saw Rachel beaming at him and she began singing…
I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever.
We small-talk, work and the weather.
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.
So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.
These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
And realized I loved you in the fall.
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".
So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
Rachel reached out and held his hand and to both of their surprises, Finn let her hold his hand and he didn't pull away. He just looked at her with tears in his eyes.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.
I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile.
So good to me, so right.
And how you held me in your arms that September night:
The first time you ever saw me cry.
Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.
But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.
All the time.
To hear the actual song, click:
watch?v=QUwxKWT6m7U
Or search: 'Back to December'
Throughout the song, Rachel stared at Finn, but Finn looked wildly uninterested. Of course he knew exactly what Rachel was singing about but he wasn't going to let her back in his life. If anything, his short relationship with Bella had shown him that he wasn't truly happy with Rachel. He was… 'bullied' in both his relationship with Rachel and his relationship with Quinn to become somebody he wasn't: Rachel forced him to make Glee his only priority in life and Quinn wanted him to be some typical jock. He wasn't either of those people and his time with Bella had shown him just that. That's why it hurt so much more when she broke his heart.
"What are you doing here..you shouldn't be in here no one should be here." Finn murmured.
"Somehow, I knew you would be here. I felt it." Rachel replied. Finn closed his eyes and Rachel saw a tear fall down his cheek. She reached out and wiped it away.
"Finn." Rachel said, leaning her forehead against his. Finn interrupted her though.
"Rachel… I'm tired of being angry with you but that pain… that pain of what happened with Puck… that's with me everyday and thinking of how you could kiss another guy, how could I not be angry? How could I not hate you for putting me through that pain? I did my best to keep away from you by joining the Army over the summer and I've done a great job at it during the start of this year but then you come here and I… Rachel what do you want from me?" Finn asked.
"I want you to love me again. To hold me in your arms and kiss me senselessly. To let me hold your heart again." Rachel cried, stepping closer to her. Finn watched her get closer to him and he closed his eyes, scared of what could happen next.
"Rachel, stop! Please!" Finn shouted. Rachel took his hands and reached up to his face and leaned up and kissed his lips. Finn quickly pushed her away and shook his head.
"No… no… you don't get to to to… to do this to me again." Finn yelled.
"You still love me and you know it." Rachel cried.
"Love? Love's done nothing but make me feel miserable, and hopeless, and in pain. If you ask me, I don't ever want to feel love ever again, especially if it's by you. Maybe you should go back to Puck, go kiss him instead." Finn snapped and turned around and walked out of the auditorium.
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That night, Finn lay in the park, staring up at the stars, trying to clear his head when he heard someone walk towards him. He looked up to see Bella, dressed in a gorgeous, snow-white sundress. He nodded at her.
"Hey." He murmured.
"Hey." She replied, sitting next to him. "That song you sang in Glee today… it was beautiful." She said. Finn looked at her and sighed.
"You do realise that we're not okay, right? We're not good? You dumped me. We dated and it failed. No matter what happens next, despite how much we've been through together, we're never going to be how we used to."
Bella looked down and a tear splashed down onto her dress.
"Look, Finn, I know you're probably sick of apologies at this point but I'm really, really, really sorry. When I got that called, I freaked out and reacted badly. I should have listened to your side of the story."
Finn took a deep breath and looked into her ocean-blue eyes.
"I forgive you." He murmured. Her eyes widened.
"W-w-what?" She stammered.
"I forgive you." He repeated. "Bottom line is I looked at my life and I know that life without you absolutely sucks compared to life with you. I want you in my life, Bella… no, I need you in my life."
Finn leaned in and kissed her gently. She beamed widely at him.
"I love you so much." She cried. "Just promise me you won't do anything stupid!"
Oof. So close. Finn's hand dropped from her face and he stepped back, his face not angry but just… sad.
"No." He whispered. "I'm sorry. This relationship is not going to work."
Bella's heart dropped.
"What?"
"What you just said… 'promise me you won't do anything stupid'. Doing stupid stunts is who I am. Driving a motorbike with just my elbows, skydiving by grabbing the bottom of a helicopter, wingsuit jumping. All of those stunts might be unnecessarily stupid, but they are who I am. And as for running back into the fire, I don't regret that one bit. Look, I really like being with you. Like, really really like being with you. But for my past two relationships with Quinn and Rachel, I've been forced to become someone I'm not. I'm not going to let that happen again. I'm sorry, Bella."