Bold is a strike through for letters since i don't have that option here. enjoy!
To my Beautiful Kat
Dearest K
Hello Katar
Katara-
I request your presence
Please visit me…
The turtle ducks miss you.
I was hoping you would come visit and assist me in continued rebuilding discussions as a personal friend. It would be nice for another opinion and someone I trust near me.
Love,
Regards,
-Zuko
Ok, this latest draft is the best I could do. My fire place is littered with the other failed copies where I might have at one point even written a poem. Shit.
Maybe I am not the best at this wooing thing if I can't even write her without sweating. Can I stare down my advisors and be the most intimidating man in the room? Sure. Can I write to the one woman I am crazy for? Nope.
Katara isn't just one woman, she is THE woman. If she knew how obsessed I was, she might just decide to avoid me all together.
I need reinforcements. The best defense is a good offense so naturally I decide to also write Uncle to come visit. I know this is a gambit. Uncle is a bit of a wide card and if I tell him the real reason I need him to visit he is going to insist on 'helping'.
I have a flash of wide scenarios ranging from being forced on public dates to getting locked in a closet for hours together. Hmm… ok the closet idea isn't the worst in the world is it? I mean… I could talk to her and she wouldn't have the ability to run screaming until she heard me out at least?
No, that wouldn't end well. What if she told me we would never be? That this was all one sided? What am I doing?! She isn't going to just fall into my arms when she comes off the boat. Hey, I could dream but I also needed to be realistic.
I will tell uncle I need him to visit to show Katara around the capital when I am working so she has a friendly face. I will keep it vague and let him come to his own conclusions. Uncle loves her so I don't think I will need to push too hard for him to visit.
He also has insinuated on many different occasions that I should look to her as more than a friend. The dragon of the west is not a subtle man and can make things painfully awkward. I have known for a while my feelings, why would I act on them when she is clearly with someone else?
Katara and Aang just made sense to everyone in the world and I could never hurt them like that throwing my hat in the ring to get rejected.
Ok, I am going to rewrite this letter to Katara without any scribbles and write to uncle. It takes me all evening. The amount of work I finished today is laughable.
This is how I am acting and she isn't even here yet? I tap my foot on the floor for around an hour staring at these two envelopes. Uncle and Katara… visiting…
The two most important people to me in the world will be under my roof soon. She is going to run isn't she? She will somehow be back with Aang by the time this letter reaches her and I will have to sit through another visit avoiding eye contact while also NOT avoiding eye contact to seem uninterested.
I need to commit already. I stand up, crack my neck and call for the nearest guard. When he comes in, I hand off the letters and instruction they be delivered immediately. I am not waiting until the next supply run for them to go out. At this rate it might take over a month to hear a response, I will not wait longer.
My back is stiff as if I am in the middle of another important letter. Maybe I should be, but really I just want to daydream again. When I close the door I let out a sigh of relief. I get slightly dizzy and lean my head on the doorframe in my office.
This is going to be a very long month.
Morning has come and I am not any better. My heart is beating like a hammer threw my chest and I am very tired. I have been tired for years now. Sleep just isn't easy when you close your eyes and see her curled up just out of reach from you. She looks soft and inviting just how she was the night after the Agni Kai.
I sit up and shake my head to try and clear my thoughts and prepare for the day. Looking down at my body it has already reacted to Katara. My hand and I have become quite acquainted over the years.
The fire nation is always warm so the gaang insists on going swimming often when visiting. The first few times seeing her in a bikini were sheer torture I wanted to endure for hours. The water rolling down her body left paths I wanted to follow with my tongue.
My fantasy is not helping me right now in bed as I slowly move my hand to relieve the ache.
I am late to breakfast… again…
The war room has been changed to the peace room. I meet my advisors here weekly and also hold the ambassador meeting in the same room on a different day. It has been 2 weeks since sending off my letters and I have arrived to another advisor meeting. Sitting at the head seat I nod my head for them to begin.
"The local governor of an outskirt town from the capital has requested more funding to repair his road due to drunk displaced soldiers throwing bottles in the street." General Jee opens the meeting with. My face gives nothing away as I consider the request while internally, I cringe.
This is how all my meetings go. It is full of soldier issues, a suffering economy, and confused citizens. I have been putting in so much work over the years teaching the fire nation to become accepting of other nations. Hopefully this improves once I take a water tribe bride.
Slowly a smile forms on my lips throughout the course of the meeting picturing Katara joining me from now on. I didn't even notice it happened until a few close advisors started to lean slightly away from me. I snap right out of my fantasy and clue back into listening and glaring.
"And lastly, we would like to discuss with you how your relationship with Mai is going." My head snapped directly to Advisor Shinu.
"Excuse me?"
Advisor Shinu looks me directly in the eye not backing down. You can start to slowly feel the electricity in the air crackle around us as everyone else starts bouncing their eyes from me to him. Advisor Shinu blinks slowly and continues, "Many people around the capital are starting to talk that you and Mai are growing apart. Some have mentioned that you have not seen her in over a month. As your advisors, we would like to remind you that currently you do not have an heir and we would like to start holding appointed balls to introduce you to other prospects that might…. Speed this process along."
I can feel the fire within my hands start to flame as I stare him down giving nothing away. Behind me, the fire slowly starts to lick higher to the sky. They want to whore me out to continue my line. This is not unexpected but the timing is horrible. I knew it was going to happen eventually. Even without Mai and I announcing we are apart we spent less and less time together in the last few months. Servants are bound to talk no matter what.
I had originally thought when this question would come around I would be farther along with Katara. Then I could formulate a response about 'bringing nations together' and showing that we truly had changed. It was a brilliant plan, I was even going to have uncle sit in on the meetings to help guild some of the older members.
I can't do that right NOW. They will start talking about inviting people from other nations in and Katara might think I was considering OTHER people. She has to know she is it for me. I am not going to consider anyone else until we talk. Until she understands what she means to me. I need to get out of this right now and buy time.
"Advisor Shinu, how… considerate of you. I can assure you that regardless of how my relationship with Mai is going I will not be requesting a ball to meet other interested parties at this time. I am still restoring a nation. I can assure you we can have this conversation again next year and I will more… amenable. Have the meeting minutes indicate to bring this up in 1 years time. Meeting adjourned."
In 1 year I will be engaged or married anyways to the love of my life. As far as I am concerned, the meeting topic is dead and buried.
I stand up and speed walk out as if I am late to another meeting and rush straight to my room. Once I close the door I lean against it and bang my head a few times. I KNEW this was going to happen but it is too soon. She isn't even here yet. I rub my eyes a few times and look around my antechamber. It is impressive and lonely. The only hint of my true feels are the blue flowers in the corner that are the exact shade of her eyes.
After the coronation I called the palace gardener in and explained I wanted all grounds to be thriving to their old glory. I wanted the cherry blossoms to bloom, the blast lilies to waft into the open windows, and I wanted color everywhere. I also instructed that a blue orca is placed in my room daily to remind me of the sea and what the war cost. That is a total lie, it reminds me of her and what I am missing. What I didn't lose but never had and want so badly I can feel it in ever fiber of my being.
With a heavy sigh, I change and go to the palace training grounds. I need to burn off this excess nervous energy.
I am at week 4 after sending out the letters and I have started being at the training ground religiously. So much so I have had to trade out guards regularly since I am use to their tactics in fighting. Every one of them has become predictable and I am itching for a challenge as I strike down our latest recruit Lee. A servant shuffles up to me with their head looking to the ground and slightly shaking.
No matter the changes I have made and how nice I am, some people still see my father in me. It is somewhat painful but I take it in stride knowing that time is my only option.
I look down and freeze. It is a letter from Katara, I would recognize her handwriting anywhere. I take a steady deep breath and fist my hands at my sides. I cannot grab this simple envelope shaking no matter the raging fire inside me. As I reach out I dismiss everyone from the room with a wave of the other hand.
Even holding it in front of me I can smell the ocean. I take one more deep breath. If she says she can't or won't come what do I do? Is it over before it began?
It is short and sweet-
Zuko-I am leaving at the same time as this letter which is by bird, let me know how fast it gets here compared to me so we can test out the postal system!Is it cheating if I use water bending to help the boat out?I am looking forward to seeing you soon.-K
She is coming and she is looking forward to seeing me! Not as much as I am looking forward to it I am sure. I take a quick glance to make sure no one can see me and I shoot both fists in the air in celebration.
Things are coming together!