This story contains: original characters, religious crisis, religious discussion, worldbuilding, character development and exploration, major character death, descriptions of violence
Hi everyone! Thanks for checking this story out! Just wanted to make a few notes before we begin:
-This takes places in the lake territories many years after the events of the current series.
-You do not need to have read the other stories in this series for this story to make sense, but if you have: this story takes place over several years, spanning both before and after the events covered in Moth Rising.
-I have included some of my own headcanons and development for Clan life, which are explained in-text.
Thanks and enjoy!
Morning sunlight filtered in through the branches of the den, dappling her light brown paws. Lightbreeze hunched over her herb stores in the medicine cat den. She bent down to sniff at a plant and wrinkled her nose as she pushed it away from the others. She hesitated, and her ears angled behind her. "You can come out now, Amberpaw."
Ears burning with embarrassment, a young golden-brown tom slunk out and around the corner, into the den. He kept his gaze fixed on the ground, and hunched over, fearing the medicine cat's wrath for being caught snooping.
"Don't you have apprentice duties?" Lightbreeze asked, still not turning around.
Amberpaw rolled his eyes. "Birchwhisker asked me to take care of the elders, but by the time I had finished, he had fallen asleep in a sunny patch."
"So? Wake him up and tell him you've finished."
Amberpaw grit his teeth and dug his paws into the soft dirt of the den floor.
Lightbreeze's ear twitched. She twisted around to face the young apprentice, her expression carefully neutral. "Is something bothering you? Spit it out, then. You've been hanging out around my den ever since you were made an apprentice."
Amberpaw sat up straight. His eyes – one amber and one so muddy it was almost brown – flashed with frustration. "I think Berrystar gave me a bad mentor on purpose."
"Oh? Why do you think that?" Lightbreeze tilted her head to the side, considering the young tom. "She always considers every apprentice-mentor relationship carefully before a kit's apprentice ceremony. You should know better than to doubt her."
Amberpaw's ears burned again, but he forced himself to stay tall as he protested. "It's cause she knows I want to be a medicine cat! So she gave me to Birchwhisker, who doesn't know how to pull his own weight, so that she can give the good warriors to Morningclaw's kits when they become apprentices."
"So?" Lightbreeze turned away, flicking the edge of her tail against Amberpaw's nose as she turned her attention back to her herbs. "Why does that matter if you just want to become my apprentice anyways?"
Amberpaw frowned. "That doesn't mean Berrystar has to be mean about it."
"Berrystar can do whatever she wants. She's the leader."
"Not anything," Amberpaw meowed. "She can't battle another Clan unless you or a mediator say so. She can't make me your apprentice unless you say so."
Lightbreeze tilted her head just enough to eye Amberpaw. "I can take a hint, Amberpaw. You want to be my apprentice. But you have to train as a warrior first, you know that. It's just how things are done."
"But why?" Amberpaw protested.
"Because," Lightbreeze sighed, and her body tension softened. "Even a medicine cat needs to know how to defend herself. What if you were out collecting herbs and a rogue attacked you?"
"Can't I learn how to fight while also learning how to heal?" Amberpaw asked. He stretched his paws out, digging his claws into the dirt. "Besides, I don't want to fight any cat, even if they are a rogue. I want to heal."
"You should want to fight rogues. You're a Clan cat. You should always value the life of your Clanmate above any other cat." Lightbreeze scowled. "Many moons ago, seasons before you or I were born, medicine cats started their training at six moons instead of training as a warrior first. But there were… issues, let's say, with cats earning their full medicine cat names and then realizing they detested being the Clan's spiritual leader, or worse, wanted to have a mate and start a family. The medicine cats gathered, and they agreed that six moons was too young to dedicate oneself to the difficult path of a medicine cat. So one must complete her warrior training before turning to the path of a medicine cat."
"I won't change my mind," Amberpaw vowed.
Lightbreeze sniffed. "I'm sure you won't. Now go bother some other cat. I'll talk to Birchwhisker later about taking your training more seriously. How does that sound?"
Amberpaw felt a weight lift off of his chest. "Really? Thank you, Lightbreeze!" Feeling a purr swell from his chest, he scampered out of the medicine den, tail raised high. Scanning the clearing, he spotted Birchwhisker, still fast asleep, and nearby, on a large rock used for sunning by the elders, a long-furred golden molly with a graying muzzle. She had kicked her legs out in all directions, but it didn't make her look any less prim and proper.
Though her eyes were closed as if sleeping, she lifted her head as Amberpaw approached, her green eyes warm with affection. "Hello," she purred. "How is my favorite grandkit today?"
"I'm your only grandkit," Amberpaw giggled, rubbing his face against his grandmother's cheek. "I talked to Lightbreeze," he glanced in the direction of the medicine den, and his heart leapt for joy at the mere sight of it, "And I think she'll take me on as her apprentice, when the time comes."
"Oh, that's wonderful!" his grandmother purred.
"Now I just have to get through several moons of training with…" he flicked his tail towards Birchwhisker. The light gray tom was sunbathing on his back, with his legs sprawled out in an undignified manner. His tongue lolled out of his mouth, and he snored.
"Birchwhisker may be getting on in years, but he was always one of my favorites," Amberpaw's grandmother said, gazing at the tom wistfully. "He was a terrific warrior in his prime. Now that he's older, he's learned to enjoy the slower things in life."
"Maybe he should've been called Birchturtle, then," Amberpaw said sullenly.
"Don't speak ill of the elderly," his grandmother chided, swiping at his ears with her paw. "Especially where they could hear you!"
She motioned for him to come closer, and he eagerly snuggled up against her side, sinking into her thick fur until he felt like her fuzzy side had swallowed him up.
She wrapped her tail around him, holding him close. "I'll always be in your corner, I hope you know that. Remember that it's always better to help others than scorn them. Okay?"
"Lightbreeze says a warrior needs to be ready to fight any cat at any time," Amberpaw told her. "They should value the life of their Clanmate above any other cat, even themselves."
Appleblossom snorted. "Lightbreeze says a lot of things. But you know who you can trust."
Amberpaw nodded and pressed his nose into her soft fur. "Yes. I can trust you!"
"Of course you can," his grandmother purred, and hugged him close.
Amberpaw shivered, staring into Lightbreeze's eyes. At his side, the moonpool glowed with the light of a thousand stars, and his paws slipped neatly into the pawmarks left by generations of cats using the pool to connect with their ancestors. He closed his eyes and imagined that he could feel the spirits of StarClan now, pressing against him as they watched his ceremony.
Lightbreeze gazed at the pools of glowing stars at her paws. "Warriors of StarClan, I present you with this apprentice. They have chosen the path of a medicine cat. Grant them your wisdom and insight so that they may understand your ways and heal their Clan in accordance with your will."
The other medicine cats called out his name as Lightbreeze pressed her nose to Amberpaw's. When she pulled back, her normally stoic eyes were glistening with pride. "Touch your nose to the water," she murmured.
Amberpaw wasn't sure what he had expected the moonpool to feel like, but he gasped as he pressed hiss face into the water. The frigid water burned his nose until it turned numb, and he jerked back, shaking his head and sending water droplets flying.
But he opened his eyes, he wasn't at the moonpool. A large, grassy meadow stretched out before him. The grass waved gently in a soft, pleasant breeze, which caressed his fur like a warm embrace. The half-moon hung in the sky overhead, huge and larger than it should have been.
Amberpaw shook his head, as if he could shake his confusion like water from his ears. Where was he? He tested the air, sniffing. Among the scents of stardust and moon-breeze, he recognized an all-too-familiar scent.
He whirled around, already purring as he pressed himself against his grandmother's side, heart welling with emotion. When he pulled back, he grinned. Her long fur was golden and shiny, dusted with stars and glowing. She was no longer graying with age, and her ribs no longer jutted out of her sides. Her bright green eyes shone with pride, no longer dulled from the sickness that had taken her life several moons ago.
"My little Amberpaw," Appleblossom cooed. "I knew you wouldn't take long to find me."
"I begged Lightbreeze every day to make me her apprentice, but she insisted that I finish my warrior assessment first." Amberpaw's tail twitched, and he dug his claws into the soft soil underpaw.
She pressed her nose in between Amberpaw's eyes. "I'm proud of you stepping onto the path to become a medicine cat. I always knew you were special."
The purr died in Amberpaw's chest. Something about the way his grandmother spoke gave him pause. She had told him he was special more times than he can count, but this time he sensed a heaviness in her mew that hadn't been there before. "What do you mean?"
"I need to tell you," Appleblossom said. "I was asked to pass on a message."
"A message?" Anticipation flipped in Amberpaw's stomach. Was this a prophecy already? At his first meeting with StarClan? Surely that was a good sign!
Appleblossom's expression grew serious. The sky darkened, and the wind whipped against Amberpaw's face, as cold and vicious as claw marks.
"Welcome the stranger, or be destroyed by the storm."
What was that supposed to mean? Amberpaw tried to ask. But his voice caught in his throat, and he couldn't breathe, and the ground opened up beneath his paws and he was falling, falling, and then he opened his eyes and was back at the moonpool, gasping for breath scrabbling at the rocks lining the pool.
Around him, the other medicine cats were also rising from their dreams. Lightbreeze raised her head and smoothly lifted one paw to her whiskers to flick off spare droplets of water. She glanced at Amberpaw, still shaking, and flicked her ear. "I take it you successfully spoke with StarClan."
Too shocked to speak, Amberpaw could only nod.
She rose to her paws and stretched. "Good job, Amberpaw. Come on, we better head back to camp. It'll be dawn soon. Unless any cat has something important to report?"
As the gathered cats murmured in agreement, Amberpaw realized with a start that his mentor was right. It had felt like only a few heartbeats had passed since he had touched his nose to the moonpool, but already the sky was lightening.
Should he ask Lightbreeze what his dream had meant? He remembered the way the wind had stolen the breath from his lungs when he had tried to ask a question, and shuddered. No, he decided. This prophecy had been meant for him, and him alone.
Whatever it meant, he could deal with it.
StarClan wouldn't give him a task if they didn't think he could handle it.
Right?
Dawn tinged the sky as Amberpaw and Lightbreeze approached ShadowClan camp. The half-moon had set long ago, and soon the sun would take its place. But for now, with a sunless and starless sky, Amberpaw couldn't help but feel cold and utterly alone.
"Stop dragging your paws," Lightbreeze chided. She flicked her tail over Amberpaw's golden-brown ears as she spoke. When Amberpaw didn't respond, she slowed her pace until she was walking side-by-side with her apprentice. "You seem troubled."
"I am," Amberpaw admitted. "StarClan has given me a message, but I don't know what it means." He stole a glance at his mentor, and his heart lifted as he saw sympathy in her gaze.
"Can you tell me about it?"
Amberpaw remembered his dream, and how he had choked when he tried to ask questions. At the thought of it, his throat started to close up, and he gasped for breath. "I don't think so. I haven't been able to ask StarClan about it, at least."
Lightbreeze made a tsk sound. "That's unusual. But it's no matter. StarClan wouldn't give you a burden if they knew you couldn't handle it. You're a capable student, and I have faith that you will guide ShadowClan well, in time."
That year, Leaf-Bare held on with icy claws. Snow coated the ground, and soon it turned to ice, and even the protective pine trees overhead couldn't prevent the snow from building up so much that it brushed even the tallest cat's belly.
Amberpaw stayed warm, tucked away in the medicine den with his mentor instead of going out on patrol like the warriors, but hunger gnawed at his belly, and anxiety gnawed at his heart as their herb stores shrank more and more.
Their half-moon trips to the moonpool were little solace, either. At first, seeing his grandmother every half-moon had been something to look forward to. However, as his grandmother grew distant, forcefully repeating the prophecy and little else, it was just one more thing to dread.
In the medicine den, Lightbreeze sniffed at their shrinking stores, her ears pressed flat against her head. "We're almost out of catmint," she muttered. "We better hope we don't have any outbreaks this year."
Amberpaw leaned over her shoulder, examining their stores. He wasn't taller than his slender mentor, but he was stouter and wider, and he normally remained behind her, to be polite. "What about the other Clans, though? RiverClan always has plenty of catmint to spare."
Lightbreeze hissed and lashed her tail. "ShadowClan is strong. We don't need to rely on the wellbeing of other Clans to get by." Amberpaw flicked his whiskers, starting to protest, but Lightbreeze tapped her tail against his muzzle, shushing him. Her ears swiveled around. "Do you hear that?"
Amberpaw tilted his head, listening. "There's something happening in camp."
The two of them squeezed out of the medicine den to see what the commotion was about. A part of Amberpaw had hoped it was a hunting patrol coming back with more food, and his heart soared when he saw Briarstreak, who had lead the border patrol this morning, waiting at the center of camp. She put something down at her paws, and he stepped forward, opening his mouth to find the warm scent of freshly killed prey. He stopped in his tracks when he didn't smell prey at all.
Lightbreeze whisked her tail, grumbling. "Berrystar will want to hear about this," she rumbled, slipping towards the leader's den.
Amberpaw pressed closer. The other cats of ShadowClan had noticed too, now, and they poked their heads out of their dens to see what the fuss was about.
A skinny brown molly huddled in the center of Briarstreak's patrol. She was little more than skin and bones, but she stood her ground, eyeing the warriors crowding around her with a ferocity few could match. She braced her paws, and Amberpaw stiffened as he realized she was standing guard over a small brown-and-white kitten.
Briarstreak grunted and pawed the scrap of fur she had been carrying, and Amberpaw realized that, too, was a kitten, her gray fur too soft and fluffy to do any good in this cold weather. The kitten had been crawling towards Briarstreak, sensing her warmth, but the large brown molly pressed her away.
Neither kitten could have been more than two moons old, and with their mother in this condition, it would be a miracle if either of them survived to see New-Leaf.
Some of the warriors muttered among themselves, and a few tried to ask Briarstreak questions, but she cut them off. "You'll learn everything when Berrystar gets here."
A thickset, black-and-white molly dragged herself out of the leader's den and limped towards the gathered cats. The scowl plastered on her face only deepened when she saw the newcomers. The fierceness of her gaze made the ferocious Briarstreak look as soft as a kitten in comparison. "What is the meaning of this, Briarstreak?"
Briarstreak sat up straighter as she faced her leader. Though she was blind, she held herself expertly poised, perfectly aware of how she postured every tuft of fur on her pelt. "I found them wandering about our territory, Berrystar. The molly claimed she needed to talk to you."
Berrystar grunted. She turned her gaze towards the brown tabby molly. Though she was haggard and small compared to the supple molly, she didn't flinch flinch under her gaze. "I came because I heard that the warriors of the Clans are noble and proud cats. I beg you to help a poor mother and her kits. I can barely hunt for myself, let alone my kits." she interrupted herself with a hacking cough, before continuing, "Please, let us into your Clan. Or, if not me, then take in my two daughters and raise them as your own. Don't let two defenseless kits die. Don't let their blood be on your paws."
Berrystar's tail flicked as she measured up the brown tabby. "Their blood on my paws? I'm not the one who thought it would be a good idea to have kits by myself in the middle of leaf-bare."
The mother didn't flinch. "Please-"
"Don't interrupt me," Berrystar snapped. "You intrude on my territory, you disturb my patrol so that they cannot bring back freshkill for their Clanmates, and you demand that we welcome you and your kits with open paws? ShadowClan has enough mouths to feed as is. We cannot possibly take in anymore. Leave me."
At Berrystar's command, Briarstreak rose to her paws. She nudged the gray kitten at her feet, and she mewled pitifully. She turned piercing eyes on the gathered cats, begging wordlessly for help. Amberpaw's feet turned to ice as the kitten locked gazes with him. He could hear the desperation crying out from her heart as clear as day.
How could Berrystar say that? Surely she saw how pitiful and weak these kits were, and didn't the warrior code say to take care of kits, no matter where they came from?
A warmth pressed against his side, and he relaxed as his mentor pressed against him. Surely she would make Berrystar see sense! But she only watched them pad away, stone-faced and impossible to read.
"Berrystar, wait."
The protestor wasn't Amberpaw, although he wished it had been. A long-legged, wiry brown tom stepped forward, his skinny tail lashing from side to side. He eyed the kittens intensely, with an expression that Amberpaw couldn't name. Affection? No, that wasn't right. Interest? No. Intrigue? Maybe that was it.
Berrystar rumbled, but she nodded for the tom to continue. "What is it, Ratpaw?"
"Thank you. I know I'm just an apprentice, but I feel that I have to speak out. My mentor always says that I have such a good head on my shoulders, after all." The tom dipped his head respectfully, and Briarsteak's whiskers twitched as she eagerly listened to her apprentice's disruption. "Isn't it against the warrior code to turn away a kit in need? Yes, ShadowClan is big now, but who knows what may happen? And surely having fresh blood running through our Clan is always good?"
Amberpaw nodded eagerly, leaning forward. Thank you, Ratpaw!
Berrystar stared blanky for a heartbeat that stretched into forever. "No." She turned away again. "The warrior code is for warriors, not rogues and loners. Briarstreak, lead these three out of camp. Don't hurt them, but make sure they know not to come back."
The gray kitten cried out as she stumbled towards her mother. The skinny molly stroked tail against the kitten's side. "Don't be scared," she murmured. "We'll be okay, you'll see. It'll be a hard Leaf-Bare, but we'll make it through." She coughed again, and Amberpaw realized with a start just how dire their situation was: her ribs jutted out against her patchy coat, her eyes clouded over, and her gaze feverish with its vacant stare. She was already dead. It was only a matter of time before her kittens followed in her pawsteps.
Briarstreak nudged the skinny mother forward, and together the four of them padded out of camp and to the edge of their territory. Berrystar dragged herself back to her den, and the rest of the Clan took that as a dismissal, talking amongst themselves as they slipped back into their own warm nests.
Amberpaw glared at his mentor. "Why didn't you do anything?" he protested. "You could have spoken up for her! We could have taken her in!"
"You heard Berrystar," Lightbreeze said. "She was a rogue. We don't take care of rogues."
"Appleblossom always told me to care for every cat," Amberpaw protested. "Including strangers."
Lightbreeze sniffed. "Appleblossom isn't here right now, and even if she was, she's not your leader or mentor. You do as I say, not what your idyllic grandmother told you once."
Even when my idyllic grandmother is the one giving me messages from StarClan? thought Amberpaw, but his throat started to close at the thought of mentioning it, so he said nothing.
So instead, he tried a different tactic. "When Foxdance hears about this, he's going to be angry," Amberpaw warned. Foxdance was one of the mediators for the cats of the lake. The mediators offered consul, and they rotated among all five Clans, spending time at each one. Foxdance had a special softness for ShadowClan, as his mate Briarstreak lived here, and he always made it clear he chose kindness and compassion at every opportunity.
Lightbreeze stared at him, and for a moment, Amberpaw thought he saw fear flicker in his mentor's gaze. Then she blinked, and she turned back towards the den. "Foxdance isn't here right now. Besides, Foxdance isn't a ShadowClan cat. We are. And we always put ShadowClan's needs before anycat else's. Especially before outsiders."
"Grandma," he gasped, rushing forward, paws trembling. "I'm so glad to see you."
He reached forward to bury his muzzle into her soft fur, and staggered when he only pushed up against the soft night air. He looked up, blinking as his grandmother watched from up ahead. He padded towards her, keeping his gaze locked on her now, but though he moved forward, she never grew any closer.
"Did we do the right thing?" he asked, pressing forward. "Should I have insisted we helped those strangers, even when Lightbreeze told me it was wrong? But what could I have done? Why would they have listened to me over their leader and medicine cat? I'm trying my best," he pleaded. "I don't understand what more you want of me."
Appleblossom only shook her head and watched him silently.
As he awoke, trembling and shaken, he sensed with a sinking heart that his prophecy has not come to pass. Not yet.
Welcome the stranger, or be destroyed by the storm.
Maybe StarClan couldn't help him, Amberpaw realized with a sinking heart. Or maybe they wouldn't. Maybe they never intended to at al.
He hoped he could help as many cats as he possible, because it sure didn't seem like StarClan would.
The muddy, soaked dirt squelched underneath Amberpaw's paws as he padded back to camp. The scent of new growth was in the air, and it was hard not to walk with a pep in his step. The harsh Leaf-Bare was over, and though his belly still grumbled for food more often than not, it was hard not to feel his morale rise.
His tail lifted as he thought about how happy Lightbreeze would be. He had found catmint at the twolegplace! It had been harrowing, leaving the borders of the Clans for the first time, but it had been worth it. A friendly kittypet had found him wandering around, and after Amberpaw convinced him that he wasn't dangerous, had been more than willing to show him where her twolegs kept their store of catmint. Amberpaw was still amazed the kittypet had parted with it so easily, but he didn't dare question her decision in case she changed her mind.
Greencough lingered like a thick fog in ShadowClan, and more and more cats were getting ill. This herb would save lives.
He brightened, urging himself into a lope. Less than a quarter moon ago, Grasseyes and WIllowgaze fretfully entered the medicine den with Shiningeyes in tow and, with tails ticking and fur ruffled, announced that Shiningeyes had agreed to be the two toms' surrogate parent, and now they were pregnant with their kits. It would be the toms' first litter, and it was hard to blame them for being nervous, especially when getting greencough could destroy their budding family.
But now they wouldn't have to worry! Amberpaw purred to himself. This had been his first solo mission, and he knew it meant he was close to receiving his full medicine cat name. He wondered what his name would be, and what Appleblossom would think of it. Would she be able to tell him how proud she was before she had to solemnly repeat his prophecy, as she did every half-moon?
Welcome the stranger, or be destroyed by the storm.
What did it mean? Was greencough the oncoming storm? That kittypet had been a stranger; maybe by being kind to her and getting her to show him where the catmint was, he had staved off the storm at last!
Yes, that could be it! He purred, thinking that the next time he came to the moonpool, he might be able to have an actual conversation with Appleblossom, and she would tell him how proud she was that he had figured it out.
His mouth and nose were so coated by the stench of catmint that he didn't notice the other cat until he had run into her.
She whirled around, growling, and Amberpaw backpaddled, clamping down hard on his catmint. It was his most prized possession, and he didn't dare drop it.
The other cat stared him down, her gray fur bristling. She was small, not just because she was young, with dark stripes down her legs and tail but a solid gray body. Her eyes narrowed as she eyed Amberpaw.
Amberpaw eyed her right back. Something about her small stature and fluffy gray fur seemed familiar, but he couldn't put his paw on it.
The gray molly lifted her chin, clearly deciding he wasn't worth attacking. "Are you a Clan cat?"
Too shocked to wonder whether it was wise to tell the truth, Amberpaw nodded.
The gray molly's tail whisked back and forth. "Then I need your help. My mother is sick and dying. My sister isn't far behind."
His eyes stretched wide as he realized why the gray molly looked so familiar. "You were that kitten who was brought into camp this Leaf-Bare!" He shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts swarming his brain. "My name is Amberpaw; I'm the medicine cat apprentice. I'm so glad to see you're still alright. What Berrystar did to you wasn't right."
"My name is Gale." Her scowl didn't change. "For all you disagreed with your leader, you were very quiet when she refused to help us."
The malice in her eyes made his heart break. "I know, and I'm sorry." Amberpaw dipped his head, and his tail dropped to trail through the mud.
"Here's your chance to right that wrong," Gale urged. Amberpaw lifted his head, hope sparking in his chest, but his mood fell again as she motioned to the catmint. "Give it to me."
"What?" Amberpaw protested, taking a step back. "I can't! ShadowClan needs this to survive! How do you even know this catmint will help?"
Anger flashed in Gale's eyes. "I'm not a mousebrain. Any cat worth their weight knows what greencough is, and that catmint is the only treatment. You owe me. All of ShadowClan does. If you do this, then we'll be even."
Amberpaw stared in despair. What could he possibly do? Here was a cat, barely out of kithood herself, who needed help that only he could provide. The medicine cat code told him to save lives. But if he gave her the catmint, there wouldn't be enough left to save his own Clanmates.
Could he really give this catmint to a cat he hardly knew? To a—
"To a stranger?" He whispered. He glanced around, as if Appleblossom might materialize and tell him that yes, this was the moment he had been preparing for with the prophecy.
Gale lashed her tail. "What are you talking about? I'm not a stranger; you've met me before!"
Amberpaw shook his head. He couldn't say anything more; he felt his breathe choking up at the mere thought of it.
He took a step towards her, then hesitated. "I can't," he told her ears flattening against his head. Lightbreeze would be furious if he came back empty-pawed, or with enough catmint to only save a few of their Clanmates. And if any cat died, it would be blood on his paws. "ShadowClan is plagued with greencough. I was sent out to search for more catmint, and I can't leave my Clan to tend to your kin, as much as I want to."
"You don't have to leave your Clan!" begged Gale. Her anger evaporated like mist in sunlight. Now she was a lone cat barely past kittenhood, desperate for help. "Just give me some of your herbs. I'm sure it would help! Anything would help!"
Amberpaw breathed in the pungent catmint in his jaws. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I can't. My Clan needs this. I'm only a medicine cat apprentice; I'm not supposed to go against the wishes of my Clan. I'm not allowed to give up the only catmint we have left to a rogue."
Gale unsheathed her claws. "Then my mother, and maybe my sister, will die. And their blood will be on your paws."
Amberpaw looked away. "That's a chance I have to take. I'm sorry."
"That's not a chance you're taking at all," Gale growled. "You're choosing to sit back and do nothing, knowing you will be safe while innocent lives die." The fur along her spine ruffled. "Remember my name," she hissed, "Because one of these days, I'm going to make your life a living hell. You and the rest of the Clans."
Amberpaw said nothing. He let her leave, watching with sad, brilliant amber and not-so-amber eyes.
Ambereye was so busy coaxing the elders into taking their medication that he didn't realize they had been interrupted until Morningclaw nudged him and angled her ears behind him. "You have a caller," she rasped.
Ambereye whirled around, fur prickling with embarrassment. His embarrassment turned to surprise when he came face-to-face with, not one of his parents, as he had expected, but the solemn green eyes of Willowgaze.
"Oh, h-hello," he stammered. "I wasn't expecting you."
"Is now a bad time?" the silver tabby asked, peering over Ambereye's shoulder at the messy pile of herbs scattered over the floor of the elders' den. "I didn't mean to disturb you."
"No, no, it's fine," Ambereye told him. "I'm sure the elders will enjoy having a break from my cajoling, anyways." He flicked his ears towards Morningclaw and Marshtail. "I'll come back for you. Marshtail, can you help Morningclaw take her dose of stinging nettles?" He nodded towards the poultice at his paws, which he had carried over from the medicine den in a leaf wrap.
Marshtail nodded, his green eyes sparking with mischief. "You can count on me. I've been dealing with Morningrun's bad breath for longer than you've been around."
"It's not for bad breath," Ambereye said, "She's got a rotten tooth, and she needs to take these herbs to keep the swelling in her gums down."
"Sure, sure, whatever you say," Marshtail waved him off, purring as he nudged the other elder. "See that? Even Ambereye agrees that you have bad breath!"
Rolling his eyes, Ambereye followed Willowgaze out of the den. The older warrior guided him to the side of the elders den, where they could talk without being disturbed. "Before I say anything, I wanted to congratulate you on your new name."
"Oh," Ambereye licked his chest fur, embarrassed. "Thanks. It's not fancy, but it's mine."
"A name doesn't need to be fancy, it just needs to be good," Willowgaze told him, looking the young tom up and down. His gaze hardened as he continued, "But that wasn't why I called you away from your duties. I wanted to ask you your advice about Grasseyes. We've been going through a rough patch lately, and I don't know what to do. Shiningeyes is due any day now, and I think the reality of the situation is sinking in, and he's starting to panic."
"Oh?" Ambereye asked. He took a step towards the nursery, where Lightbreeze was looking over Shiningeyes and feeling their round belly with her paw, making sure the kits inside were healthy. "Sure. Let me fetch Lightbreeze for you, and she can help you out."
"No," Willowgaze reached his paw out, blocking Ambereye from going any further. "No," he said again, softer this time. "I asked you because I wanted your advice."
"Oh," Ambereye said, just as softly. "Why?"
Willowgaze glanced towards the nursery. "Lightbreeze can be… brisk," he allowed. "You're young, but you have a good head on your shoulders. I trust you."
Ambereye stared, slack-jawed. He swallowed thickly, tail twining around his paws. "Oh. Um. I'm no StarClan warrior. I can't give you heavenly advice." He could barely bring himself to believe in StarClan's good intentions most days.
"I'm not looking for StarClan's guidance," Willowgaze said flatly. "I'm looking for yours."
Ambereye swallowed thickly. Willowgaze was a respected warrior of ShadowClan, and was one of the last cats he would have expected to seek his advice – relationship advice, no less! What did he possibly see in Ambereye? There was so much about Willowgaze that he didn't know.
Wait.
Maybe that was it. Even though Willowgaze was his Clanmate, he was like a stranger to Ambereye. Any cat could be. Who did he truly know, really? How could he ever truly understand any cat's struggles except for his own?
Maybe this was what the prophecy meant. By welcoming the strangers of ShadowClan into his heart, he could prevent fighting from brewing and destroying everything like a storm. Maybe he could welcome the cats of every Clan, he thought, remembering his grandmother's words to him as an apprentice.
"You're right." Ambereye motioned for Willowgaze to sit back down. "Tell me everything. Start from the beginning."
Seasons passed, and he tried his best to guide ShadowClan wisely.
He protected the Clan in sickness. He delivered countless litters of kittens. He offered herbs to the other Clans whenever there were so much of whispers that they were running low. He mentored and guided not one, but three apprentices – first Frogjump, his aloof but gifted apprentice and Briarstreak's youngest and spunkiest kitten; Grasseyes, who had always his eyes on deputyship, but ended up finding the solace and peace of the medicine den after greencough took the love of his life and his daughter's mate; and finally Ravenleap, his rebellious but studious apprentice, who he hoped would one day succeed him when his other apprentices couldn't.
He witnessed the passing of his leader, too – and the ascension of his new leader, Mothstar. He couldn't have been prouder of her if she had been his own daughter. She had her work cut out for her – soon after becoming leader, drought struck the lake, and the Clans have bickered and snarled over increasingly fewer and fewer meals to feed more and more bellies. Still, she never stopped fighting for justice.
Ambereye was the quiet, steady witness to it all. He was the sole witness now; he had long ago outlived his peers and was now the oldest cat, not just in ShadowClan, but in all of the five Clans.
The other medicine cats, and even the mediators, looked up to him as a spiritual guide. He helped whenever he could, and even when he shouldn't. And still he was haunted by his grandmother's prophecy. He shuddered when he thought of Appleblossom, no longer comforted by her once warm and grounding presence.
She no longer loomed over him and spoke words of prophecy at every half-moon, but she lurked at the edges of his dreams, staring, judging. Once or twice, Ambereye spoke with a different starry ancestor; he was ShadowClan's medicine cat and spiritual guide now, after all, and StarClan must have realized they couldn't send Appleblossom's prophecy every moon if they needed to pass down other information, as well.
He was haunted, too, by the one cat he never helped.
That Leaf-Bare, he set out one more time to find Gale. He couldn't explain why, but his paws itched, and he knew he had to try something. He told Ravenleap that he had important medicine cat business to take care of – technically not a lie – and to take care of the Clan while he was gone.
(Ravenleap didn't question him. One of the perks of Ambereye's age was that few cats did.)
He shuddered as he stepped paw over the scent markers that marked the edge of ShadowClan's territory. He rarely traveled this far from camp, these days. Even the other medicine cats had been not-so-subtly suggesting that he retire from half-moon meetings, now that his apprentice had his full medicine cat name and could travel without him. The long journey tired him out, they said, so he may as well rest at home while his apprentice does the heavy lifting.
(You should retire, is what they meant but didn't say. But he couldn't retire to the elders' den. Not when there were so many cats who still needed his help.)
He gasped for breath as he pushed through the snow and prayed not to lose feeling in his toes. Soon snow started to fall, sneaking down between the tree branches and flecking his thin, patchy fur. He shuddered.
He lets his paws lead him forward, traveling not by knowledge but by instinct. Once or twice he thought he saw stars in the corners of his eyes, and wondered if StarClan was watching him. He decided to take it as a positive sign that he was headed in the right direction.
His joints creaked as he moved, and when he finally stopped to hunt, he found with frustration that the prey ran much quicker than it did when he was an apprentice. He growled to himself. Was he really so useless? Unable to hunt like a warrior, and unable to fulfill StarClan's wishes like a medicine cat.
He travels for a few nights, catching what meager prey he can and curling up under whatever pitiful bush he can find. Once or twice he swore he saw other cats, loners by the way their ribs jutted through their sides, but they disappeared as soon as he called out to them.
Paws numb, he trudges onward. The sun had set long ago, but he was nothing if not a ShadowClan cat, and the night hardly bothered him. Though he couldn't see it, he could sense the crescent moon overhead. If he didn't find what he was looking for soon, he'd have to turn back. He couldn't miss the medicine cat's half-moon gathering.
As he was thinking of his next steps, a screech filled his ears. A screech filled with pain and despair.
Ambereye didn't pause to think. He thrust forward, clawing his way through the snow towards the sound. He burst into a clearing, taking in the sight of a young brown molly, her fur still kit-soft, sprawled out on the snow. Red flecked the snow by her head. Above her stood a wiry brown tabby tom, his paw extended as if he had just struck her.
"Tempest?" he murmured, tail fluffing up to twice its normal size as he stared in horror. "Tempest? Stars, no…"
Ambereye grit his teeth and bounded over to the two. "What happened?" he asked. As he spoke, he started to run his paws over the young molly's body, feeling for injury. Her chest rose and fell quickly, like a fluttering bird.
The brown tabby tom stared blanky, too shocked to be scared. "Ambereye? Am I dreaming?"
Ambereye jerked his head up, eyes widening in surprise as he realized that yes, this cat did know who he was. "Ratpelt," he muttered. After sticking up for Gale when she had come to camp as a kit, Ratpelt had grown into a respected warrior of ShadowClan. But when his daughter Mothstar, then still a young warrior, had exposed him as an amoral codebreaker who wanted to power to serve his own selfish purposes, he had been exiled without grace.
"There's no time for that now," he told both Ratpelt and himself. He continued to press against the young molly's fur, wincing as she gasped and twitched under his touch.
Ratpelt nudged her muzzle, tail lashing back and forth when her eyes would only stare sightlessly ahead without acknowledging him. "We were training," Ratpelt rasped. "I was showing her how to push away an enemy larger than herself when she got knocked over. Why isn't she moving?" He nudged her with his paw, his eyes haunted and wide.
Snow billowed around them, settling on Ambereye's whiskers and nose. Training? In the middle of a snowstorm? But there was no time to figure out if Ratpelt was telling the truth or not. Ambereye didn't have the luxury of wondering. All he knew was that this young cat was injured, and she needed help.
Welcome the stranger...
Ambereye's paws scraped against something wet, and he nudged Tempest over, pressing his paw against a gash in the side of her head. With his other paw, he felt around in the snow, nodding when his paw scraped something rough. "She hit her head on a stone," he announced.
Ratpelt paled. "Stars. She can't— She was always so delicate, and her mother always coddled her— and when she bleeds, it doesn't clot—"
"Go find something to staunch the bleeding," Ambereye cut him off. "Spiderwebs if you can find them, moss if you can't."
Ratpelt nodded, stumbling off. Tempest thrashed underneath Ambereye's paws, but he pressed them firmly against her, trying to stop the bloodflow. "You'll be okay," he told her, willing it to be true. "Your father is finding you spiderwebs as we speak."
A brown-and-white ghost flickered at the edge of his vision. He frowned. Not Gale, he remembered, but her younger sister. "Not yet," he pleaded. "Not yet."
"It's her time," said somecat, said the ghost, said no cat in particular.
Tempest thrashed once, and lay still. Ambereye's paws came away soaked with blood. "How am I supposed to welcome a stranger if I can't even save them?"
If they heard his plea for help, they didn't respond.
With thudding paws, Ratpelt bounded back into the scene. When he saw Tempest, still and cold, snowflakes building up over her cold brown fur, his mass of moss fell at his paws. "No," he whispered. "It can't be."
"I'm sorry." Ambereye couldn't meet his gaze. He wiped his paws off in the snow, unsure of how to proceed. If this were a Clan cat, he would prepare her for a funeral. But what did he know of rogue customs?
He was about to offer condolences when a new smell hit his nose. He angled his ears forward. "Somecat is coming."
He should have stayed. Ratpelt was grieving, and it was likely that whoever was coming would need to grieve, too. He was no fan of Ratpelt, and he didn't owe anything to the ex-Clan cat. But Tempest had done nothing wrong, and guilt wrenched his heart that he hadn't been able to do more for her. He should have stayed and comforted the living, the one thing he could have done.
But fear gripped his paws like icy claws, and wrenched him into action. He slipped into the shadows in a way that only a ShadowClan cat can, creeping away to hide. Ratpelt, still in shock, didn't notice him leave. Ambereye hid behind a nearby bush, too scared to run in case the newcomer heard him. He prayed that the wind stayed downwind, and he would go undetected.
A small gray molly prowled onto the scene. Her legs and tail, darkly striped, swung back and forth as she prowled closer. Her belly was soft and round, and she smelled of milk-scent, but that didn't stop her from moving forward with a deft power. Ambereye's heart grew cold as he realized who it was. Gale.
She growled. "Ratpelt. What are you doing? Can't you smell the storm on the wind? Why did you leave the den? I had to chase you down; I was so worried!"
Ratpelt stared, horrified, at his daughter's body. "We were hunting for you and the kitten," he whispered, tail flicking towards a miserable scrawny rabbit and bird lying in a makeshift fresh kill pile a few tail-lengths away. "And we started playing... And then…"
Gale noticed the body. Her eyes narrowed, and the fur along her shoulders shook. "What did you do?" she growled. Her tail lashed. She asked again, her voice thick with hurt. "What did you do?"
"It wasn't me," he begged. "You have to understand, it was an accident—"
"You murdered our daughter!" Gale screamed. "You disappeared in the middle of a snowstorm to murder our daughter!"
She launched herself at Ratpelt. Ratpelt yowled, and he tried to fight back, but he was shocked and cold, and Gale was full of rage. Even now, so many years away from the Clans, he still fought like a warrior. Ambereye recognized these moves: the slash and belly roll, the feint and dodge, the power strike. But his skill in warrior training would be his downfall.
He hadn't been trained to kill.
And Gale knew nothing but survival of the fittest.
Blood spurted from Gale's jaws as she clamped down on Ratpelt's throat. He struggled and pushed at her chest, trying to escape, but she only bit down harder. He stopped moving.
Gale spat his limp, lifeless body onto the ground. She huddled over the body, face streaked with blood, panting. After a heartbeat, she straightened up and looked back the way she came. "Drizzle? Darling, is that you?"
A light brown tabby cat stepped out into view. They were about the same size as Tempest, but in their jaws they carried a smaller kitten, this one small and silver, who couldn't have been more than a few days old. Their gaze flickered from their mother, to the body she towered over, to their sister not far off. "Mom?" they croaked.
"Shh," Gale soothed. She padded over to him and rubbed her face against theirs. "You're okay, darling kit."
"What happened?" Drizzle pushed back, setting down the smaller kitten to swipe their paws over their now-bloodstained cheek.
"Something very, very bad," Gale soothed. "A fox came through and attacked your sister and father. I'm sorry, darling. They didn't make it." She hugged the young cats close. "But don't worry. I'll protect you; don't you worry your little head about it. And I'll make friends with those pesky rogues who sneak around our den at night. They'll help protect our family, too, you'll see. We'll create a new, big family, you'll see! The Stormcloud family, they'll call us, and every cat will flock to us because they'll want to be a part of our family." The way she spoke of these new friends made it clear that she did not intend to get their help through charisma and politeness.
Ambereye stepped back, horrified by the rage pouring out of this molly – this mother, of all things. A twig snapped under his paw, and Gale swung her head in his direction.
Heart slamming against his ribcage, Ambereye swung around and raced for his life. His paws flew ahead of him, pulling him faster and farther than he'd ever gone before. He didn't stop until long after his paws had lost all feeling, when the falling snow had blanketed so thickly that he could hardly move.
He barely made it back in time to go for that moon's gathering.
That half-moon, the medicine cats touched their noses to the moonpool and awoke in a shared dream. The previous medicine cats gathered, and spoke:
"Welcome the stranger, or be destroyed by the storm."
No other cat knew what it meant.
But for once, Ambereye understood StarClan's message perfectly. He had failed. StarClan had elected to wrench his prophecy from his paws and pass it on to the others in the hopes that they would do better with it than he had.
As he settled down for a long, sleepless night, Ambereye finally admitted to himself that despite his best intentions, he had brought about the doom of the Clans.
For the next half-moon, Ambereye practically jumped out of his fur at every sound. On more than one occasion, Ravenleap forced him to take thyme and leave camp until he had calmed down. "I can't count our herb stores or treat patients with you jumping around like a scatterbrained hare," he chided his mentor, and Ambereye listened because he was right.
At the gathering, He rose to his paws, and, tail trembling, announced at the medicine cats had been sent a prophecy. They must welcome the stranger, or be destroyed by the storm.
It was too little, too late.
Despite the Clans' knowledge of the prophecy, or maybe because of it, the Clans hunkered down. Conversations at the border, once leisurely and friendly, were now practically nonexistent. ShadowClan chaffed at their borders as the fresh kill pile grew smaller and smaller, eager to take some other Clans' land for their own. It was only at the insistence of Mothstar, and Ambereye's own insistence that StarClan did not will any such thing, that prevented them from attacking and taking it for their own.
Ambereye prayed that with the arrival of New-Leaf, things would improve. But with New-Leaf came the night yowls, where the sounds of cats fighting in the distance rang throughout the night. If it was an intimidation tactic, it was successful – the Clans almost entirely stopped talking to each other, despite Mothstar and Ambereye's best attempts to the contrary. Even the mediators were unable to smooth things over. A cat cannot help those that do not want to be helped.
And then the Stormcloud attacked.
Gale lead the way, attacking all five Clans at once. She had amassed a huge number of rogues, loners, and ex-kittypets, coercing them to her side. The Clans would fight, yes, but even they could not win when they were outnumbered. The Clans had refused to rally together, and so they fought apart, and were easily encircled, surrounded, and attacked.
Ambereye and Ravenleap hung back, caring for the wounded and praying that somecat would make it out alive. Even before the war, ShadowClan had been smaller than any of the other Clans. They had no hope of outfighting their enemy. But maybe they could hold them off until the bigger Clans did. Mothstar sent their fastest warriors to ask for help, but though she didn't say so, doubt and uncertainty hung in the air. Why would the ther Clans help them when they, too, were under attack?
And then.
And then.
A small gray shadow with thickly striped legs and tail stalked into camp. Before Ambereye could register what was happening, Mothstar hurled herself at the other cat, fighting her back in a flurry of claws and teeth and fury. But Gale, nimble in her small size, slipped through her claws and evaded her blows while one of her larger goons snuck up from behind. The large cat knocked her claws against Mothstar's head, forcing her to the ground.
Distraction averted, Gale raked the clearing, searching for her real prize. Ambereye's blood ran cold as her green eyes locked into his own, one amber and one not-so-amber.
Before he thought think, she had had her claws against his fur and pinned him to the ground.
Gale ran her tail down Ambereye's side as she curled around him. Her teeth glinted as she snarled. "You're the reason my mother died, you foxheart. When I needed your help, you spat in my face! You ripped up the herbs that could have saved my kin! I smelled your scent on my daughter the day she died. Did you kill her, too? Does a healer such as yourself have a masochistic desire to see me suffer? And because of that, I'm going to make you suffer. I'll tear your eyes and ears to shreds until you can't see or hear anything. You'll live in constant fear, not knowing what will happen next. I'll pull out your claws. I'll slice your stomach open and leave your guts for the crows while you're still bleeding out." She laughed. "On second thought, no. A more fitting punishment would be to kill you, and you'll die knowing you had less mercy than a lowly rogue."
"No!" Mothstar yowled, but large molly holding her slammed her paw down on her muzzle, cutting her off.
"It's okay, Mothstar," said Ambereye softly. "This was meant to be."
"'Meant to be,' huh?" Gale laughed. "Some ancestors you have looking down on you, if they let their own fall to a miserable death at my paws." She struck out, claws glinting in the moonlight.
Ambereye didn't flinch as she struck downward. He was so frail that he fell over at her first blow.
Gale's eyes glinted. She raised her paw to strike again.
Her claws swung down.
Ambereye gasped, then lay still.
And he woke up.
Ambereye rose to his paws, shaking his head and frowning. The sounds of the battle were still going on around him, but they sounded muffled and far off. They seemed fuzzy and barely-there.
He felt warm. Powerful, even. He rolled his shoulders and realized with a start that all of the aching he had been suffering through for years, so ongoing that he barely even registered them, were gone. He lifted a paw to his throat.
He felt only smooth fur.
"Hello, Ambereye."
He whirled around, eyes widening when as he recognized the round, golden-furred molly approaching him, her green eyes sparkling with grief and warmth. "Grandma."
Appleblossom dipped her head. "It's good to see you again."
Ambereye stepped back, fur lifting along his spine. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to take you to StarClan."
Ambereye's heart thudded against his chest. How strange that it still did that, even now. "Is that it, then? StarClan burdens an apprentice with a prophecy he has no clue how to handle, and when his mismanagement gets him killed, you let him in?"
She winced, her eyes welling with shock and pain. Clearly she had an image of how this encounter was supposed to happen in her mind, and this wasn't it. "What would you rather have happened?"
"I don't know. Everything seem so pointless." He became aware of something puddling around his feet, and he realized with shock that he was standing on top of his old body. His paws disappeared inside his stiffening, bloodied chest. He backed up, flicking his paws like he could remove their grime, even though they were clean and sparkled with starlight.
A distant, fuzzy yell alerted him to newcomers, and he turned around, squinting through the haze. A cold, small gray body lay a few tail-lengths away. Other cats streamed around it, seeming not to notice. Clan cats, yes, and so were Stormcloud cats, but they were rushing towards the injured and fallen, not away from them, and helping them to their feet. Had they changed their minds? Both Clan cats and rogues alike were helping, now, and Gale's cold dead body lay forgotten in the aftermath.
Ambereye padded over, squinting to find her ghost, but if it existed it was nowhere to be found.
Appleblossom padded up to him and rested her tail on his side. "Come with me, Ambereye. You've suffered so much. It's time for you to rest."
Fury bubbled up in Ambereye's throat. "No!" he yowled, spinning away from his old mentor. "What kind of sick game is this? Why would I go to live among those that have tortured me all my life?" His eyes flashed. "When you have tortured me all of my life?"
Appleblossom flattened her ears against her head. "You were going to be special. You were going to save the Clans." she said quietly. "But look, your work was not for nothing." She nodded around her.
"This fight may not have happened at all if you had picked a different cat," Ambereye spat sourly.
Appleblossom's eyes flashed with annoyance. "Do not misunderstand me. I mean this," she angled her ears towards a SkyClan cat and a now-defective Stormcloud cat, both helping a fallen ShadowClan elder to their feet, guiding them towards the medicine den when Ravenleap had busied himself taking care of the fallen. They moved smoothly, as if the three of them had been training together since kithood. "Strangers, working together. Saving each other from the Stormcloud, just as the prophecy said."
"Too little, too late," Ambereye spat.
For the first time, Appleblossom's warm green eyes flashed with fury. "If that's true, then that responsibility lies on your shoulder," she snapped. "You had all of the chances to make the right decision, and you never cared to try until it was too late. Why not speak up on behalf of Gale and her family when they came to camp? Why not give her your catmint when she asked? Why not stay to soothe her nerves when she found the dead body of her kit?"
"I was only an apprentice when most of these things happened. How was I supposed to speak out against my Clan's wishes? My own mentor told me that any Clan cat's life is worth ten of one rogue's. And as for Tempest…" Ambereye's heart twinged, and he looked away. "Well, you saw what happened just now. If I had stayed, Gale would have just killed me sooner. What kinds of choices were those?"
"Is that really what you believe?" Appleblossom countered. "That you had no choice? That if you had spoken up, nothing would have changed? Or were you too afraid to act, and you created a narrative for yourself that supported your failures?"
"Of course not!" Ambereye snarled. "But what was I supposed to do? I was just an apprentice! I couldn't even talk to my own mentor about what I saw!"
"Is that true?" Appleblossom asked. "Or did you just tell yourself that so you could sit comfortably in inaction for your entire life? StarClan cannot choke throats, Ambereye. Only the living can do that."
Ambereye started to protest, but he hesitated and took a step backwards, eyeing his grandmother with apprehension. That was what he had told himself for all of these years. He had always done as much as he can, and when he had done nothing, it was because there was nothing to be done. But was that really true? He stared back at his grandmother, eyes widening with horror. "What if I was making excuses for myself this entire time?"
The golden molly flicked her tail, ignoring his question. "What kind of choice is this?" Appleblossom pressed. "If you do not choose StarClan, then where will you go?"
Ambereye pawed at the cold body of Gale below him, though his paw slipped through her body without feeling. "I will wander the earth, same as her. I don't need StarClan. No cat does, if they will inflict so much pain onto any one cat and not apologize."
"Very well." Appleblossom stood aside. Her eyes flickered with emotion, and her meow cracked as she spoke, but she stood firm. "I won't stop you. But think about all the cats you will be letting down if you go. Your mentor. Your old apprentices, Frogjump and Grasseyes. Your family."
Ambereye growled.
"What would Ravenleap think?" she pressed. "Imagine how much despair he must feel. Imagine how much worse he would feel when he goes to the moonpool and learns that you are not there to welcome him?" She tilted her head. "And what about Mothstar? Wouldn't you like to welcome her into StarClan, when her time comes?
He shook his head and stepped backwards. Didn't StarClan deserve to suffer for what they had put him through? But his heart wrenched as he imagined his family, blood-related and not, and how they would feel if he abandoned them. He couldn't do that. He wouldn't.
And didn't he deserve to rest at last? Didn't he deserve to rest easy, after all of the suffering he had been put through?
This was how StarClan operated, he realized with a sinking heart. Cats vowed vengeance on their starry ancestors, but when their time came, they were so eager to put away their claws and fear that they followed gladly into the very domain that had caused them so much suffering.
"Fine," he relented. "I'll come with you."
Appleblossom nodded, and her eyes flickered with satisfaction.
But Ambereye hung his head as he followed her. His heart did not lighten as the sounds of cats crying out in pain or loss was replaced by cool winds and birdsong, or when the pine needles underfoot turned into sparkling stars and lush green meadows and forests.
His living familydeserved better thank this.
But his time to make waves had passed. StarClan could only watch and guide. At best, they could give a nudge in the right direction, and hope that the Clans would make the right decisions.
So he would watch. And he would nudge. And he would pray that the next generation of warriors would be a little softer, a little more compassionate, and a little more willing to turn to kindness, not claws.
And maybe one day, he would be proud to call himself a member of StarClan.
This didn't come out the way I had intended, because I had enough ideas to fill a 20-chapter story but I do not have the time for that! Ambereye is one of my favorite warriors ocs, and I wanted to explore his POV because he is a caring and compassionate cat, but also very passive and unwilling to rock the boat. I was interested in how he justifies his actions and how this affected his complicated relationship with StarClan.
Despite its brevity and choppiness, I hope my readers enjoy!