Rules are Meant to be Followed, not Broken
Last Time:
Finally breaking the quiet, Reyna croaked out, "I don't believe you."
Same girl, I don't believe me either. I actually don't believe I just said all of that. I don't believe that I will choose to leave my dorm room for the next week. In fact, I don't believe I will ever show my face to society ever again.
Before I could respond, Frankie, in an attempt to shoo Reyna off, said, "Honey, go ask him if you're that curious."
Reyna glanced at Frankie for a moment, then back to me, then to Alice's guilty expression, back to me.
"Fine I will," she said narrowing her eyes at me disbelievingly but obviously shaken, as she spun on her heel and started walking out of our corridor. Her retreating figure followed by four pairs of eyes and dozens of eavesdropping floormates.
When she was out of sight we all let out the breath we'd been holding and muttered a collective, "Shit."
My world had just exploded into chaos.
I quickly buttoned the robes all the way to the top of my neck. I can't believe I actually let the girls convince me to wear this ridiculous get up.
It was October, and I was freezing my tits off- makes sense as they were basically hanging out of my top- in this skimpy blouse and cutting off the circulation in my legs with these ultra-tight black ripped jeans. Not to mention, my ankles were in real danger of breaking with the stilettos Marly had forced my feet into.
I told myself I would get to the pitch early just in case Reyna was actually planning on showing up to the pitch and confronting Potter with my bullshit.
9:03.
That was out of the window, my only hope was that she was late like I was.
I didn't even know what my plan was at this point- all I knew was that I had to get to Potter before she did.
Finally at the pitch, the heels sinking into the muddy ground with each step, I quickly made my way to the locker rooms guessing that the team was there for their post-practice showers and meetings.
Typically Frankie would be doing that right now as Gryffindor's seeker, but, bless her, as much as she enjoyed taking the piss out of me, she risked the wrath of James Potter, skipping Quidditch practice to comfort me.
Shit.
The locker rooms finally in sight I saw the team still in their robes walking into the showers and, most distressingly, Reyna. Just a few feet away from Potter.
Shit.
I started walking faster, only to have my heels sink more and more into the mud.
Shit.
Reyna was now inches away from Potter and was calling his name.
Shit.
James turned around and gave Reyna a startled look and shoved his hands into his pockets awkwardly.
Shit.
I was too far.
Shit Shit Shit.
That's it.
I abandoned my shoes, kicking them off and ran, full sprint, to my nightmare.
"Is it true, you and-" Reyna began before widening her eyes at the red-headed bull charging her way. Well, Potter's way actually, but I don't blame her shock. I'd be pretty terrified myself.
I stopped just short of the pair, both Potter and Reyna looking at me in shock and confusion.
Before anyone could get a word in edgewise, I took Potter's hand and held it as lovingly as I could muster and gave him my best look of pure adoration.
"Hey babe," I said through gritted teeth- this lovesick act was not starting off well for me. I sent him all the mental signals begging him to play along, to not call me out on this ridiculous facade I was holding up.
He apparently got none and instead just looked at me with a face of pure perplexion.
"Evans, what are-" he started.
No.
God no.
Please Potter.
The dumb git.
So before he could finish his phrase and effectively ruin the facade, I silenced him the only way I knew how.
(Oh if only Cormac were here, he'd have some real stories about James and I to spread.)
I stood on my tiptoes and with all the courage I could muster up, I kissed him.
On the cheek.
Merlin, God, and Jesus, what did you think I was going to do? As far as I knew it to be, pigs had not suddenly sprouted wings and began flying around and hell was still a fiery pit that I actually would prefer to be in at this very moment. So no, I did not actually kiss James Potter.
Potter was still Potter, and I was still Evans.
We hated each other.
We were sworn enemies.
He was a bullying toerag and I was a prefect. He was a cocky delinquent and I was top of class- let's choose to ignore the fact that he and I were neck and neck for that title. He was the most popular git in school, I was, well, once again, a prefect. He spent his days on the quidditch field and sneaking into Hogsmeade, whilst the library was my second home. He threw parties every weekend, I shut down said parties every weekend. He played massive pranks on the school, I chased after him reversing his jinxes and charms. He had a different girlfriend every month, I was perpetually single. He flirted with me non stop, I always threw a few jabs at him, shutting him down, then left. He'd asked me out a few hundred times- seriously, he kept count of it and made it his goal to ask me out 99 times last year- and I'd rejected him every single time.
None of that had changed.
My lips still on his cheek I hissed out, "Play. Along." then forced out a high pitched giggle that I never wanted to do again, throwing my head back, as if I had shared some sort of naughty secret with him.
The reaction I got was not ideal.
Potter looked at me as if I'd suddenly grown 2 extra heads turning into Cerberus and he was about to enter into his personalized version of hell. He glanced at my arm clinging round his neck, my other on his chest, my giggling, my outfit, his jaw went slack, and his eyes wide open. His normally confident and dancing hazel eyes were now filled with an expression of utter confusion aided by his furrowed brow.
Merlin, he was useless.
I cocked my head towards Reyna's direction as if I was noticing her for the first time and said with false friendliness, "Oh my Merlin. Reyna? Wow, you actually came, how sweet of you."
Reyna just stared. Also slacked jawed.
These two slack-jawed idiots were a match made in heaven.
Shaking his head, Potter closed then opened his mouth back up and said, "Evans, I'm so con-"
"Completely in love, yes babe, me too, totally agree," I interrupted, panicking. Why couldn't Potter just play along? Honestly, boys just don't get hints.
Also, babe? Did I really just call him that?
Seeing my wide eyes and nodding head, he slowly muttered out, "Yes…?"
Okay okay, that was pretty awful but better than nothing.
Turning back to Reyna I cockily said, "Oh honey, you're still standing there? We'll go into the locker rooms- don't fret about bothering us." And as I dragged a very confused James Potter into the closest door to put between us and Reyna, the empty girl's locker room on the left. I flashed a look back to see her stomp her foot like a 5-year-old and march away.
Finally, a drama-free zone where I could talk to Potter about-.
There was chattering in here. Why was there chattering in here? Frankie was the only girl on the team and was not here today. There should be no chattering. The chattering stopped.
I looked up ready to face the horror of my reality only for Benjy, the incredibly bulky and muscular 6'4 chaser known for his silent and stoic disposition let out the girliest scream I'd ever heard.
Right. The girls' locker room was on the right.
"Lily?" Frank Longbottom, the other chaser and Alice's boyfriend since forever, asked questioningly, clutching his towel tighter around himself.
Ludo Bagman, the gorgeous, golden-haired hunk that I'd had a crush on for years just started laughing and shaking his head at me and in a light-hearted tone asked, "What the hell do you think you're doing in here Evans." He followed by crossing his huge, muscled arms, making those years of beating away bludgers all the more apparent.
I had no response, as I took in the full effect of a topless Ludo Bagman. On a regular basis, when he was out and about in his robes- wait, can I just say I never knew robes could fit so well on a person, well except Amos- I could barely squeak a word out to him. Now, having towel-clad Ludo Bagman, his golden, wavy hair still dripping from the shower, it might be the fact that I'd eaten roast for dinner three days in a row or the fact that I couldn't run for more than two minutes without getting winded, but I was about one minute away from cardiac arrest.
Sirius Black, the other half of the Beater duo, ever the ladies man, moving his shoulder-length black hair out of his face said with a cocky smirk, "Oi Evans, like what you're seeing?" gesturing to his chiseled torso. Damn, I could definitely see why Marly kept going back.
Steven Cho, the shy Keeper who had always kept to himself but according to Jackie was insanely funny, grabbed another towel to cover his chest and looked at me wordlessly.
Before I could say a word, James slapped his hand over my eyes, and, regaining his composure said, "Sorry boys, we were just leaving," and upon hearing no response said "Carry on," in a very Captain-esque tone and pulled me out of the locker room.
Now back outside, where we just were, we looked at each other for a few good seconds before blurting out different things all at once.
"What the hell was that Evans?"
"I can explain this Potter."
He silenced and crossed his arms, looking at me expectantly and as I continued to stare at his wordlessly, said, "Oh no, you're starting."
"Right, of course," I immediately responded. This was where I explained myself. Where do I even start?
"Well, people think we shagged in a broom closet today that's why I was bedraggled and wearing your clothes in Potions and then Reyna came up and said a few choice things and I got mad and I did it without thinking but I told her we'd been going at it for a week now, ever since you two broke up and I'm really sorry I didn't mean to it just came out, it's my temper, it's such an issue, please don't be mad," I blurted out in a single breath.
Silence.
Laughter.
Laughter?
Was Potter insane? How was this even remotely funny at all.
"For the top of our class, you really are a dumbass aren't you Evans," Potter finally said, holding his sides as he heartily laughed.
"This isn't funny, Potter, we need to-"
"God, I try to get you to go on a date with me for years. It turns out I should've just asked Cormac to spread some rumors about us."
Rolling my eyes and hands on my hips I once against tried to get a word in edgewise, "Potter-"
"Who else knows about this Evans?"
Now it was my turn for silence. I looked down at my bare feet and shuffled them awkwardly.
"Well, those words were only meant for Reyna but-"
"But," James repeated, quirking an eyebrow.
"But... you were right about my voice carrying really well..."
"Oh shit Evans," James said, already knowing what words would be coming out of my mouth next.
"So, I'm guessing everyone in the school and their mothers and pet cats know at this point?"
Now it was silent on both sides.
Shit.
What was my plan in doing this again?
No really, what the hell was I thinking.
I was only thinking of how to get Reyna to believe my complete bullshit, but what now?
I looked up at Potter, wincing, convinced that he would go berserk and wonder why he ever liked me in the first place right... about... now.
"So Evans, what's the game plan?" he simply asked with a hard-set look on his face.
The game plan. The game plan?
"Potter… what in quidditch bullshit do you mean my game plan?" I said, taken aback by this unexpected turn of events.
"I know how the rumor mills at this school work Evans. This would look bad for you either way you twist it. You admit you lied about us dating you look like a complete psycho case and loser. You say it was just a one-week tryst in the broom closet and that it's over now you look like a slag. I know it's unfair but I come out fine either way, you don't."
"I-" I began but closed my mouth.
He was right.
I knew the answer to this problem.
I just didn't want to admit it.
We'd have to date.
Not actually, of course, a fake relationship.
Like in the movies, simple enough.
Right?
Hold hands, a little bit of PDA, spending time with each other, then staging a dramatic break-up a few weeks from now.
Easy.
Simple.
...right?
"P-p-po-potter," I stammered out.
He interrupted me and waved his hand nonchalantly saying, "I wanted people to stop asking me about Reyna either way, and it won't be hard for me to pretend I like you, so this works out well for me."
I began spluttering in protest and furiously blushing at that last part but he continued on, ignoring me.
"Also, since we're 'madly in love' you should probably start calling me James, Lily," he said, lightly punching me in the shoulder trying to lighten the mood.
I looked up at him, a slight grin on my face ready to play along, and said, in an uncanny impression of Reyna, "Not Jamsie, Jamsie-poo, honey-poo, Jamie?"
His face stretched out into a full grin as he groaned and mocked throwing up and said, "Not unless you want to be called Lily-flower or my precious petal every time I see you."
"Agreed, rule number one," I said fake gagging as well, my stomach giving off a weird tingling sensation and my hand feeling incredibly warm when we shook hands signifying a solemn agreement on our deal.
I still hated him, even if he was being oddly kind and considerate today.
I reminded myself over and over again, repeating my mantra, 'I hate Ja- Potter. I hate Potter. I hate Potter.'
Whilst struggling in my inner turmoil, James and I both snapped our heads in the direction of the locker rooms as we heard the doors creaking open.
Without a word, James turned our handshake into a handhold and moved us so that I was up against the brick wall and he was only a few inches from my face.
He leaned down-
Wait he wasn't going to kiss me, was he?
Wait wait wait.
No no no.
I wasn't ready for this. This couldn't be how my first kiss went down.
-and whispered in my ear, "Giggle like I've just said something hilarious."
I widened my eyes in understanding and we started laughing together, whilst I simultaneously let out a sigh of relief.
God, this was going to be harder than I thought.
As the entire team walked out, they gave me a mixture of curious looks- courtesy of Frank and Steven, an untrusting glare thrust my way via Sirius- that'd be something to unpack later, wolf whistles- thanks to Benjy, and James got a slap on the shoulder from Ludo who exclaimed, "Nice captain, you finally got the girl," and winked at me.
I felt myself going into that stupid grin that we girls go into when, quite possibly, the hottest guy in school looks or talks at you. Must less fully acknowledge and wink at you.
Wait.
Fuck.
No.
I was in love.
Well, fake love.
But nevertheless 'in love' with Potter.
I couldn't be chasing after his teammates- it'd ruin everything.
Rule one, well no actually, two now: No more thinking about Ludo Bagman, the golden god. And no more referring to him as the golden god either, that's really fucking weird.
Then suddenly, a genius idea struck my mind.
"Rules!" I exclaimed out loud looking expectantly at Potter.
"Um, what?" James said, now leaning away from his position a few inches from my face since the team was out of sight.
"Rules Po- James. You said you wanted a game plan, let's go make one," I said genuinely excited.
Hey, I can hear you already making fun of me. I don't want to hear it.
I am not the type that believes that 'rules were meant to be broken.'
No.
I was a prefect for a reason.
My record was squeaky clean- not a single detention or even warning ever written up on it. A teacher had never so much as raised their voice at me. Filch actually was indifferent to me and Ms. Norris let me walk past her without hissing at me.
Impressed? I sure am.
And that was the way I liked things.
"Rules," he dumbly repeated.
Rolling my eyes, seeing I would have to take the lead on this one, I dragged him back into the locker room where I had spotted a chalkboard earlier.
I sat him down on the bench and, chalk in hand, grinning, said, "Let's shock the very core of Hogwarts, ey Potter."
"Lily I feel like we're overthinking this honestly," James said irritably, running his hands through his hair much to my chagrin.
"Well I actually think that we're underthinking this- people are going to see right through us Potter," I said through gritted teeth, my sour mood not helped with his non-stop hair ruffling.
"For this to work we're going to have to convince, not only the entire population of Hogwarts, but my friends as well and they can read me like a book at this point."
"Woah, woah, woah, I can let my friends know that this isn't real though right?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow at me.
"What do you think, genius?"
"Hmm," James said in pretend thought, "That your actual desire is to jump my bones right now and hope that Cormac walks by to tell the tale?"
In response I chucked the long stick of chalk I was holding at his head which, of course, he easily caught.
"Too soon?" he chuckled, lightly tossing the chalk back which, of course, I completely missed.
Seeing me glower at him as I bent down to pick up the chalk, he sat up straight and straddled the back of a chair, his tone shifting from his typical cool nonchalance to one of serious determination. His Quidditch voice as it was called. "Alright Evans. The rules, write them out."
I beamed. Call me crazy but I was actually looking forward to establishing these grounds, very exciting for me.
"Alright," I said as I started numbering the board in my chicken scratch and was about to launch into my ideas when James groaned and said, "Merlin Lils, can I call you Lils?"
"No-"
"Okay great, so Lils, before we launch into this... is that seriously your handwriting?" he gestured, looking disgusted at my nearly illegible scribble.
Highly insulted I glared at him and said, "Are you serious right now," as he stood up and took a piece of chalk of his own, erasing my writing with his sleeve in the process.
He paused in his work and grinning to himself said, "No I'm too good looking and he left about 10 minutes ago."
I groaned, it was my turn to slump into one of the chairs.
God, this was the buffoon I was dating.
Fake dating, mind you.
"Okay Lils-"
"Don't call me that."
"Petal-"
"Not that either."
"Lily-"
"Goo-"
"-flower"
"Merlin."
"Alright, alright, alright, Rule #1) No fucking nicknames, only Lily," I bellowed gripping the roots of my hair as James chuckled and wrote it down in his lovely, loopy handwriting.
"Rule #2) Only fucking nicknames, never James," he retorted mocking my tone.
God, this was going to be harder than I thought. Why did I think after six years of not being able to stand the sight of him, I would suddenly be able to make gooey eyes at him over breakfast for all to see. "Jesus Fucking Christ and Merlin's balls," I cursed underneath my breath.
"Merlin's hairy balls has a better ring to it dear," James said, not missing a single beat.
"Merlin's hairy saggy balls is even better, Potter dear," I immediately retorted before I clasped my hand over my mouth in horror. I never spoke like this in front of anyone else but Alice, Frankie, and Marly.
James burst out laughing and whooping said, "You're making me fall in love with you more and more Lily Evans. I already liked the uptight, prefect version of you, but damn, I might like this Lils even more."
Seeing how ridiculously happy such a little thing made him I couldn't help myself and let out a small giggle, and threatened in between laughs, "You tell anyone about this Potter and I wring your neck."
After our laughter had subsided, I joined Potter up on the board feeling slightly more comfortable and said, "Okay, rule #3) No telling anyone, including best mates and Marauders."
James paused in his place once he heard the word Marauders come out of my mouth and accusingly asked, "How in Salazar do you know that nickname?"
"James, you and your posse aren't exactly the quietest of groups," I said rolling my eyes at Potter's pout, "Also Remus and I have been friends for years- it's slipped out a few times along with Prongs, Wormy, and Padfeet although I don't know who's who yet."
"Padfoot Evans, if you're going to know our nicknames you might as well say them right," he mumbled whilst unwillingly writing the third rule into law.
"Um, I feel like this is obvious but Rule #4) No flirting or dating other people?" he offered up.
"Don't make promises you won't keep Potter," I said rolling my eyes.
Potter and Black were Hogwarts' greatest flirts. Not only did they flirt with every single Hogwarts girl they talked to, but their attempts at flirting their way out detentions were legendary, well Black's attempts actually.
I'll tell you about Sirius trying (and almost succeeding) to flirt himself out of detention with Dumbledore later. Apparently Black had also attempted to seduce a goblin into handing over the Black family fortune last summer after being disowned- results were, surprisingly, not completely abysmal.
Potter clutched his heart with his free hand and declared, "Lily Marie Evans I am highly insulted, are you saying I have no self-control?"
"Precisely."
"Well I'll have you know, when I've had a girlfriend in the past, I've only ever flirted with her, the professors- I can never resist Minnie, and you."
"Oh wow Potter, that makes me really have loads of faith in you," I sarcastically added ignoring the slight blush tinging my cheeks. Flirting with me over the years had been a constant given, if a day passed where Potter didn't throw a pick-up line or ask me out, people would be genuinely concerned for his health. But I still could never understand how he so casually declared his love for me in our conversations and felt no embarrassment. Guess that's what happens when it's all a joke I suppose.
Potter took my shoulders in both hands and said in a solemn tone, "I, James Fleamont Potter, first of my name of the noble house of Potter, which extends in power and influence over hair care from The Islands, Americas, across Europe, to India-"
"India?" I curiously asked, cocking my head to the side.
"Mum's from there, really opened the market up," he shrugged casually.
"Right."
"Anyways, where was I- right. I, James Fleamont Potter, do solemnly swear-"
"That you are up to no good?" I suggested, remembering the curious whispers I always heard the Marauders, as the idiot group- save for Remus of course- called themselves.
Potter's jaw dropped, "How the hell- did Remus tell you that about our map?" he demanded.
"Again Potter, you and the Marauders are not the most inconspicuous group, I've heard so many of these catchphrases going aro- wait, map? What map?"
"Oh um, well, no- no, nothing, yup, nope, yah, no map. Map what? What map Lily, geez, where are you getting all that nonsense from," he unconvincingly rattled out as a creased line formed in between his eyebrows.
I decided to just drop it for the time being, I'd figure out all this nonsense about a map and those ridiculous nicknames later. So I just responded with a simple, "Alright Potter, finish your solemn vow to me then."
James once again gathered my hands in this own, his blistered and rough hands enveloping my own ink-stained nail-bitten ones, and started again, "I, James Fleamont Potter, do solemnly swear that for the period of our fake relationship, I will only and ever only flirt and even think of or desire to flirt and seduce one Lily Marie Evans-"
"Not even Minnie," I added in for good measure only halfway joking.
"Evans," James said in shock, "you can't possibly ask that of me."
Seeing my unchanging face, he mumbled out, "not even Minnie."
"What was that again?"
"Not even Minnie," he said once again pouting.
From that point on our list of Rules grew and grew, jokes, jabs, solemn vows, rolled eyes, and glares thrown in.
Rule #5) Nothing beyond kissing
"You're going to be begging for that rule to be struck when you-" James stopped talking when a fist connected with his shoulder with unexpected strength. "Jesus woman, that's going to bruise, how am I supposed to throw the Quaffle around tomorrow at practice," James groaned, rubbing his shoulder.
Rule #6) We eat all meals together
"Try not to be a pig Potter."
"Have you seen yourself on roast day? Wait wait wait, please don't punch me again."
Rule #7) We walk to all classes together
"Shouldn't I also add that I hold your books as a good boyfriend Lils?"
"I can manage thank you very much."
"Lils."
"Call me Lils one more time Potter."
"OW, Evans, stop the violence."
Rule #8) Always be in some sort of physical contact in public- really exaggerate the love
"Can't complain about that."
"You're a fucking pervert Potter."
"That was all Salazar Lils.
Rule #9) You send me cute notes all day
"This one sounds really dumb and cliche Evans."
"Trust me Potter, girls go wild for this sort of thing- It'll drive everyone up the wall."
"I'll lose all of my street cred."
"Potter, we live in a castle, what street cred are you loosing."
…. "Ouch, that stung Evans."
Rule #10) Fake broomstick closet trysts should happen every other day.
-addendum: make sure Cormac is there to tell the tale
"Wanna make an addendum to strike out the fake clause?"
"Potter."
"Oi, lower the fists love, it's just a suggestion."
Rule #11) Don't bring parents into this.
"No argument here, my mum would go crazy for you then every other girl I bring home would fall short."
..."Shut the fuck up."
Rule #12) No lying to each other
"I've never lied to you Lilikins."
"I've never not lied to you Jamie."
"Ew"
"Ew"
"Let's strike rule #2, that gave me the heebie jeebies"
"Agreed."
"Agreed."
"Struken."
"Not a word Potter."
"A word Evans, just obsolete."
Rule #13) Never end on 13, it's an amature move
"What other rules do we have Potter, I feel like our list is good."
"One more buttercup."
"Refer to Rule #1 or Rule #2 will be reinstated."
"You sure know how to bring in the romance."
"Also why can't we end on 13?"
"Don't be so dimwitted Evans, everyone knows 13 is the number of doom."
"Right. Okay then. Why did we have a rule on 4 then.
"What's up with 4."
"4 is the number of death, at least according to Jackie."
"Hmm, not changing it though- too much work."
"Then your argument for 13 doesn't stand."
"Godric Lily, are we debating right now?"
"I'm just making a point!"
"And I'm just saying that 13 gives me the heebie jeebies."
"That's the second time you've said heebie jeebies in the same minute, what are you five?"
"Okay Lily, last rule. The most important one actually," James said in all new seriousness.
"Shoot," I said expectantly.
"You have to promise not to fall in love with me," he solemnly said.
'Rule #14) Don't fall in love with James,' James proceeded to write on the board and then glanced back at me expectantly only to see me scoff and start laughing heartily.
"I'm serious Lily, you have to promise to not fall in love with me," James solemnly stated.
My laughter only grew at how serious James was acting- when was he going to throw in the punchline?
The giggles soon subsided and I looked at James expecting at least a grin or smirk to indicate his joke.
It was a joke.
Right?
"Oh Godric Potter, you weren't joking?"
"Not at all Evans."
"Fine, agreed, easy. Happy now?" I shrugged casually. Why in the world was Potter emphasizing this so much- I would never fall in love with him. Merlin, I didn't even like him.
"No, you have to solemnly swear."
"Fine," I said, humoring him, I mockingly raised my right hand and said, "I, Lily Marie Evans, solemnly swear never to fall in love with James Fleamont Potter especially since her kids would then be insufferable little snots with messy hair and Quidditch obsessions."
"Happy?"
"Very."
I just rolled my eyes and continued on, quite anticipating the crafting of our story, "Okay, now for the planning to begin."
"I thought that this was the plan?" James said incredulously, gesturing wildly at the messy blackboard.
"No, these were the rules. Now we plan."
"Bloody hell Lily, why don't we just see where each day takes us- just be casual."
"Potter, if we're going to convince Hogwarts, my friends, and your friends that we genuinely fell for each other and are dating, we have to be perfect. There are no room for mistakes here."
"That's really more on you, love." James stated matter of factly, still unconvinced.
I started rambling off a list of questions that we needed to establish to show Potter exactly how much was undetermined, "How long are we going to do this? The timeline, what's that look like? When's our staged dramatic break up? Who's doing the breaking up? How are we going to break up? What's the reason? How did we get together? Why did I suddenly stop hating you? What type of couple are we going to be? Are we going to go out to Hogwarts events and Hogesmeade's together? Are we going to be sitting in every class together? Do I go to all of your Hogwarts games? Do I now go to parties with you? Do I help you throw parties? Will we-"
"Okay okay okay Lily, I get it. Lots to establish. You say the question and we'll both answer- I'll have my quill jot it down for us," he said while pulling out quill and parchment and quickly attempting to charm it.
As he was trying to remember the incantation and was clumsily attempting the spell, I pulled my wand out from my robes and quickly spotted the voice activation charm at it, rolling my eyes. Honestly.
I missed the smile of adoration that lit Potter's face, thoroughly impressed with my charmwork.
"Okay, let's go through the list I rattled out...how long are we doing this for?
"One month," he responded, shrugging.
"Potter, I am not one of your short lived hookups. You were with Reyna since the beginning of last summer so how long was-"
"End of last term actually, at the end of our OWLs- so three months."
Before I could think about what sort of effect my words would have, I said, "Was that before or after your little end of year fun with Severus."
Shit, dammit.
Things were going so well and my traitorous mouth opened up and bam, I'd turned it to shit.
Fuck.
James' smile dropped from his face and he looked so deflated when I glanced up at his face towering above me. He stammered out, "L-look Lily, I'm so sorry about the way I treated Snape last year. That moment really made me think about the person I'd become- I'd started Hogwarts doing dumb pranks here and there, teasing people and just causing ruckus but I never thought I'd go that far and become a bully. I don't know what possess me, but just the way-"
"Wasn't your reason just the way he existed or something?" I accusingly asked, finally ready to hash this out with Potter after putting it off for months.
"See that's exactly what I mean," James said, gesturing wildly. "I mean some of it was the fact that he hung around those junior Death Eaters and didn't do anything when they were cursing Mary MacDonald and just the way he talks to you- but yeah yeah that's off the point, you're right. I was a right, what did you call me again, a- a bullying toerag?
"An arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter," I mumbled out a tiny hint of a grin lifting the corners of my mouth.
"Yes that. I am, was, I was an arrogant, bullying toerag Lily Evans. I was awful, but I really did think about it over the summer and I'm changing. I'm trying my best here- I haven't even done anything to Sniv- Snape this year even though he's really tried," Potter continued in his ramble, attempting to convince me that he was this new and changed man.
He didn't need to. I'd already seen it. Sure he still strutted the halls and was confident, but instead of a demeaning arrogant confidence, it was more of a self-assured confidence. Jokes were still made, jinxes still cast, and pranks were still pulled, but they were always friendly and lightening the mood- well, maybe everyone's mood except for the Slytherins.
He had made a change- he'd grown up over the summer and now he was here with a new maturity but with the same magnetic personality. Not quite sure of what to say next, with a small smirk I said, "Giant squid still wins in my book."
James gasped in mock horror and dramatically said, hand over heart, "As expected Evans! I would never dream of beating out Archie for your heart!"
"Archie?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed, "You nicknamed the giant squid?"
"Architeuthis," he stated with a mock eye roll, "Geez for someone with a nose always buried in books I can't believe you don't know the scientific name for your boyfriend."
"Oh god, I should just jump off of the Astronomy Tower- just end it now before the shame grows any worse," I sarcastically retorted. Why the hell did Potter know all of these random things- even in class, if a professor threw any question at him trying to catch him off guard, he'd always get it correct despite him never cracking a book open.
"I feel like that may be your best option at this point," he solemnly said, his joke only given away by the twinkle of his eyes.
Rolling my eyes, I quickly moved on, "Alright so, the plan."
"The plan," he echoed.
"Four months."
"That's awfully long Evans, almost makes it seem like you want to try to seduce me within those months."
"Refer to rule #14 Potter, and also It's not like I want to force myself to make gooey eyes at you for four months, we need to."
"Why?"
"Because that's just longer than you dated Reyna you dimwit."
"Okay, but most of my relationships are about a month long."
"I'm not dating you for less time than Reyna did, do I really have to explain why?"
"Yes."
"I'd never hear the end of it if from her and her lackies if 'Lily Evans couldn't even hold onto Potter for as long as Reyna did' and then it'd be forever comparisons and ridicule and-."
"Okay okay Evans, I get it- four months. I want everyone to forget that I actually stayed with her for that long so this'll be good for me too."
"Ooh wait, the timeline's actually perfect, we can break up on Valentine's!" I said excitedly.
"Wow Evans, you really are something special."
"Explain."
"I've never heard the words 'I want to be dumped on Valentine's Day' come out of a girl's mouth before.
"Well it works great with our timeline Potter, plus emotions are usually really high on that day so we can come up with some sort of relationship ending fight."
"Right."
"Besides, who says I'm the one being dumped here."
"Wait I'm not doing the dumping?"
"I mean we haven't really discussed that Potter."
"Let me do it."
"You seem overly eager, why?"
"It'll seem more final for everyone if I end it- everyone's going to think that if you end it, I'm going to try to chase you and get you back since I've been fighting these past 5 years for you to date me."
"Wow, thought deep about this, haven't you Potter."
"Only common knowledge flower, we can get to the reason and method later."
"Rule number 1 Potter."
"Rule number 2 petal."
"What's our getting together story?"
"Let's try to stick to the truth as much as possible here."
"Oh great, that's a romantic setup."
"I'm serious Evans we can just say that, well, I've loved you and tried to get you to go out with me for years and after you saw how I'd changed over the summer you gave me a chance and we were just friends until Reyna and I broke up last week. Then there were sparks and Cormac can tell the rest from there."
"I don't even have any idea who Cormac is," I said giggling.
"Me neither, but if we ever find out who he is, I'd like to give him a-"
"Slap, punch, jinxing, beating?" I offered out.
James just shook his head in moc shame and said, "A handshake. For his great and unparalleled service to the cause- lower those fists Evans."
"What sort of couple are we going to make ourselves though?"
"Well since this is fake, we're going to have to do a lot more to be convincing."
"Drat."
"Quidditch games and the ensuing victory parties for one," James said suddenly going over to his locker, rummaging for a bit, then tossing a balled up jersey at me.
"What's this for?" I dumbly asked.
"You wear it to the games, genius."
"Okay, all Slug Club events."
"Lilllyyyyy, please don't make me, I feel like Slughorn wants to eat me up everytime I see him. I don't know how I'm going to explain that Sleekeazy's doesn't make a difference when you only have three strands of hair."
Despite myself, I burst out laughing just imaging Professor attempting to comb his three pieces of hair into place with Sleekeazy's. Even better I said, "You're my date for the next few months, so get ready Potter. Starting with next week's Masque Ball."
"But the Halloween Feast Evans, surly-"
"But the feast," I replied in a mocking voice.
"Fine, you sit with me in every class and I'm your only study partner from now on," James threw out in retaliation.
"But Remus," I said with a pout, as he was my designated library partner and seatmate in nearly all of our classes.
"He won't mind Evans- just shocked that I finally landed you."
I scoffed and finally said, "Fine, but if you get me into trouble with those stupid antics of yours, that clause will be stricken."
"Hogsmeade?" he offered up.
"Obviously Potter," I said rolling my eyes.
Continuing with his one word suggestions, he smirked slightly and said, "Snogging," and just leaving it at that.
"Snogging," I dumbly repeated, slightly uncomfortable now.
"Snogging Evans, we're going to have to do it at some point in public."
"But, but I thought the broomstick closet things-" I protested.
"Yeah they'll be the replacement for actually shagging and stuff but like, at parties, quidditch matches, just everyday hanging out, it won't sense for us never to kiss," he pointed out.
I opened my mouth ready to complain and refute his point but he was right- if we were going to be in a fake relationship for three months and people never saw us snogging, they'd be highly suspicious.
"Fine, okay," I said as calmly as possible when in reality my heart and head were both pounding and leaping about with anxiety. "Pervert," I jabbed in for good measure.
Feeling myself starting to hyperventilate, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths and when I opened them, a pair of hazel eyes far too close to my own crowded my vision.
I yelped and tried to take a few rapid steps back, but tripped over my own feet- imagine what would've happened if I'd still been wearing those heels- and fell onto the ground unceremoniously.
James loudly guffawed as he bent over to help me up saying, "Jeez Lily, you're going to have to get used to me being that close to your face if we're going to be in a serious relationship for four months."
I felt my cheeks and chest heat up in a fierce blush.
I wasn't about to tell James this but, in reality, I'd never kissed someone. It wasn't a lack of opportunity and I'd gotten close many times but, it just never felt right. Never felt like the time. Now I was 16 and still hadn't had a first kiss, much less gotten anywhere close to shagging someone.
Instead of spilling the truth, I spluttered out, "Well, that just took me by surprise that's all."
He unbelievingly said, "Alright Evans," still shaking with laughter.
"Stop laughing," I said slightly laughing at myself as well but still lightly shoving his shoulders.
"Do you want to plan out our first public snog as well or-" James added mockingly, making fun of my need to plan this entire fake relationship out.
Ignoring the sarcastic tone, I said more confidently than I actually felt, "Tomorrow morning, after breakfast, quick and casual- try not to eat too much bacon Potter."
He quirked his eyebrow in surprise and jokingly said, "Eyy, can't resist the Potter can you," beginning to waggle his eyebrows mid-way through.
"Oh yeah, I can't wait to snog a guy who refers to himself in third person as irresistible."
There was a short chuckle between the two of us, then a moment of casual silence.
Should I tell him that he would be my first kiss tomorrow morning?
I should.
I should, right?
Okay, I'll do it, I'll tell him.
We opened our mouths at the same time and I quickly said, "You go first."
"Oh well, I was just gonna say if we were done here, I could go head off to the showers?" James asked, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.
"Oh, yeah," I said the meager confidence I had built up in telling James I'd never kissed anyone, quickly dissipated.
"Do you want to wait and walk back with me or…" James said as he started to strip his outer robes and shoes off.
"No no no, I'll just, yeah, I'll just be uh, on my way then," I said, giving him a light punch on the shoulder. God, that felt so bro-ey and walked out of the boy's locker room.
"Oy, flower," James called out, tapping my shoulder.
He had his shirt now draped across his neck instead of on his body and had a hand outstretched wanting to give me a handshake. As I looked at him questioningly, he asked in a hopeful tone, "Since four months is a long time to spend around someone you hate, rule number fifteen, friends?"
I hesitated for a moment. Hadn't he shown how much he'd grown up over the summer with the way he'd been treating people at the start of the term, how his bullying days were behind him, wasn't it thoughtful and sweet of him to agree to this ridiculous plan, to get me to class this morning and give me his own clothes, hadn't I had loads of fun over these past few hours with our jokes and jabs at each other?
I did want to be Potter's friend, wow can't believe that's something I just thought. Who'd thought that after all these years, James and I would become friends.
"Friends" I repeated with a small grin, shaking his offered hand and when I walked out of the locker room I could feel my stomach swirling around.
No that's too subdued of a term for what I was feeling.
Ah okay, I got it, yes. I felt like a swarm of Cornish Pixies were banging around inside of my stomach.
Now where in the world had I thrown those heels to. Merlin's hairy saggy balls, Marly would rip my throat out if I'd lost her favorite pair of shoes.
AN: Hey everyone! I realized that I accidentally posted two chapters into one chapter posting so here's me separating the last chapter into two parts basically as I had originally meant them!
Hope you enjoyed, feel free to comment any criticisms or praise- both are more than welcome and really helps me figure out what you guys like and things I can improve on!
Thanks again! Hope everyone is doing well!