Well, it's been a while since I've written a fanfiction, and definitely a while since I have written about one of my all-time favorite couples. My family and I always have a Harry Potter movie marathon around the holidays, and we are in the middle of that now. It inspired me to reexamine some of my past Ron and Hermione fanfictions, and then I thought of a new one. I hope you enjoy it. This is set during Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince. Some liberties with the plot, and of course, I own nothing. I think this could have happened instead of the love potion situation, but then they still could have decided that they needed to wait to truly pursue their relationship until after the war. Hope you enjoy it. Reviews welcome. I don't mind constructive feedback, but let's all please be kind. There is too much negativity in the world already.
Ron, Harry, and Ginny were sitting together in the Great Hall eating breakfast. Well, Ron was eating, per usual. Harry and Ginny were mostly picking at their food. The three of them were discussing and arguing about whether or not to get rid of the book that had proved to be so troublesome as of late. Whoever the half-blood prince was, he was brilliant, but also dangerous. Ron thought they should hang onto the book but just needed to better control when they used it. Knowing Voldemort and his evil posse was lurking about, he thought the book was still useful. Ginny thought they needed to get rid of it immediately. It was too tempting and dangerous to her way of thinking. Harry was on the fence. They needed another level head in the mix. Speaking of level heads…
Where is Hermione? Ron thought to himself and suddenly felt annoyed. Surely she would have a strong opinion about this topic, but where was she?! Come to think of it he hadn't seen her in days. Then suddenly, as if he had conjured her up from thin air, she appeared. And for some reason that annoyed Ron even more. She looked beautiful, of course. Why does she always have to look so beautiful? Ron thought again feeling annoyed. Why was he so annoyed?! Truth be told he hadn't allowed himself to think much about Hermione since he had started dating Lavender. He had a girlfriend now and letting his thoughts be consumed by Hermione Granger, as they had been for so many years, was just not an option.
She smiled widely and approached them. Ginny was just about to greet her when Ron snapped.
"Well, it's about time you showed up!" he said harshly.
"Excuse me," Hermione responded blinking hard, clearly taken aback.
"We are in a bit of a crisis here, Hermione," Ron said in a gruff tone as he gestured toward the book, which was on the table in front of Harry. "We need you here to help, not with your nose stuck in a book in the library. It's not going to matter if you pass your potions test if we are all dead!" Not even Ron was sure where that had come from. His outburst was not deserved, and he knew it, but there was no going back now.
Harry and Ginny both sat dumbfounded by what had just happened. Hermione took a deep breath and then very calmly swallowed and said through gritted teeth, "Harry and Ginny, it's good to see you. I'll catch up with you later." She turned to leave then turned back and said calmly but sternly, "Ronald, you never manage to disappoint." And with that, she turned and left the room.
"Ronald, you complete idiot arse!" Ginny nearly screamed at him once she managed to shake awake from her speechlessness from what had just transpired.
"What?" Ronald asked.
"Hermione has been gone for a week," she said in disbelief at her git of a brother. "She just got back."
"From where?" Ron asked. This time Harry chimed in. "Her grandmother died, mate," Harry said. "Jean, the one she was really close to. She's been away from Hogwarts to attend the funeral."
A feeling of guilt and shame so strong washed over Ron that it nearly choked him. "I didn't know," he said quietly.
"Of course you didn't," Ginny responded sharply not caring that he was clearly upset with himself.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ron asked defensively but still quietly, stunned himself by the events that had just transpired.
"Oh, please," Ginny said not letting up. She had been considering letting him have it for a while now and had some pent up thoughts she was ready to unleash following his absolutely ridiculous behavior.
"You haven't paid Hermione a bit of attention since you started dating Lavender!" Ron looked a bit startled but Ginny continued not missing a beat. "And just don't with that face. Don't even pretend you don't know why. You have romantic feelings for Hermione, which I suspect having a girlfriend complicates. I also suspect you have settled for a relationship with Lav because you think Hermione is too good for you. And at this moment you are right! You don't deserve her!" She said now leaning across the table a bit and wagging her finger at him.
"But here's the truly insane part," Ginny continued. "I think Hermione actually reciprocates your feelings. You could cut the tension between the two of you with a knife. So, I don't know what you are playing at with Lav. Getting your rocks off. Proving you're a man. Whatever the reason — and I don't care — when this fling is over and the dust settles, if you plan on having any sort of a relationship with Hermione, romantic or otherwise, then you need to pull your head out of your arse and sort out your priorities."
With her final declaration, Ginny swooped up her breakfast plates and left the table. She had said her peace and couldn't bear to look at Ron for one more moment.
Ron sank back in his seat stunned. Hermione had once said he had the emotional range of a teaspoon, but right now that range was a full gallon. Clearly Ginny had been holding that back for a while, and while her words stung, he knew deep down they were true. He was so disappointed in himself. His outburst would not have been deserved even if she had been coming from the library. It was totally unwarranted. It was his own issue that was the problem. It was really himself he was really mad at — but it came out toward her. He was a coward and a git. And he wasn't sure he had ever felt more ashamed. In fact, shame was not a strong enough word.
"You okay, mate?" Harry asked finally breaking him out of his self-loathing. "That was … intense," Harry said settling on the right word. He also knew Ginny was right, but Ron didn't need more salt rubbed into his clearly open wound.
Ron stared at Harry for a moment before responding. So much had been revealed in the last 5 minutes. Seemed like they all knew the truth but no one had dared spoken it until he acted like a total barking idiot and pressed the issue.
"I, um, need to try and catch her!" Ron said suddenly jumping up. "Can you …?" Ron gestured to his plates. "Sure, mate, I'll clear these," Harry said. "Good luck," he called after him. And boy was Ron going to need it.
Ron ran at top speed out of the Great Hall trying to think about where she might go. He suspected if she had just returned that she would be on her way back to her dormitory to get settled. He knew he made the right call when he saw her curly hair disappearing through the fat lady. He quickly said the password himself and hopped through breathlessly. She was nearly at the stairs to the girl's quarters when he called out, "Hermione, wait!" Her named echoed on the walls of the Common Room. He was still trying to catch his breath and bent down with his hands on his knees for a moment. "I'm sorry," he managed to finally say standing up now at full attention. He was so glad it was a bit of an odd time, so they were alone. Most people were at breakfast or on their way to class. She just stood there looking at him but didn't move to leave, so he continued. "I didn't know your grandmother passed away. I'm very sorry, and either way, I acted like a complete arse. I needed to tell you that." She took a deep breath, and for a moment he thought maybe he had managed to say the right thing. Nope!
"Ronald," she started slowly. "I wish I were surprised, but you and I both know that you haven't paid a bit of attention to me in months. So while I'll appreciate your apology, you'll understand if I don't accept it." And with that, she turned and raced up the stairs. Boys were magically prevented from entering the girls' rooms, so he couldn't follow even if he wanted to. He sat down hard on one of the couches and breathed out a huge sigh. He deserved her response, but it broke his heart. He would have to think of another way to try and fix what could only be described as a disaster.
Later that night…
The day had gone by agonizingly slow. Ron had seen Lav at lunch and barely heard a word she said because he was so preoccupied. She was talking a mile a minute about something. He knew he needed to make some big moves and decisions, and fast. Ginny was 100% right. Everything she said was a fact. He just hadn't faced it until Ginny had called him on. He knew Hermione was too good for him, so when Lav had shown interest, he just sort of let it happen. He wasn't proud of it, but it was just the truth. It felt good to be wanted and admired. And while he sensed Hermione wasn't pleased with his relationship, and while Ginny had suggested Hermione felt the same way about him, Ron just couldn't believe that was true. She was always so hard on him and seemed consistently disappointed. Still, he did want to make sure that they at least remained friends. She meant the world to him and was one of his best friends. And his relationship with Lav was standing in the way. Plus, Lav really was a sweet girl, and she didn't deserve to have a boyfriend who was interested in (okay in love with if he was really being honest with himself) someone else. He wasn't a complete jerk. But that difficult conversation would have to wait. First, he needed to try and reconcile with Hermione. He thought all day about what might work and finally settled on the truth. Hermione was not one to go for bells and whistles anyway. He would just come clean — lay all his cards on the table. That was all he could do. It was the only play he had. And she would either accept or reject it.
The Common Room was quiet that night because there was a national Quidditch match being shown in the Great Hall after dinner. Ron loved Quidditch, but he knew this was his best chance to catch her alone. He had told Lav after dinner that he wasn't feeling well and was going to turn in early. The lie was a necessary evil. He had already made up his mind to come clean with her tomorrow, but he had to take care of things with Hermione first. He knew right where he would find her — snuggled up under a blanket in a far corner of the room in her favorite big comfy chair that was angled so she could look out the window at the moon. She had a book in her lap and a stack on the table beside her.
Summoning all the courage he had, he walked toward her. "Hermione," he said quietly as he approached her. She looked up surprised to see him knowing there was a Quidditch match on downstairs.
"Good evening, Ronald," she said coldly. "Something I can do for you?" she said trying to sound aloof. The truth was she had a feeling Ron was about to double down on his apology from earlier. She was so mad at him, but she could already feel butterflies in her stomach at the thought he had skipped the Quidditch match to seek her out, and she hated feeling so vulnerable.
"May I speak with you?" he asked coming a bit closer.
"Okay," she said cautiously, and before she could change her mind, Ron sat down on the footstool right in front of her. He wasn't touching her, but he was close enough to do so.
He took a deep breath and started. "You were right," he began.
"Of course I was," she said cutting him off a bit and trying hard to maintain the upper hand and her composure. "What about?" she added matter-of-factly.
Ron tried to suppress his smile. It was such a Hermione thing to say. And she wasn't going to make this easy, which he absolutely deserved.
"About what you said earlier. I haven't paid attention to you for these past few months," he responded. "And I want to tell you why."
"I know why, Ronald. You have a girlfriend," she said curtly.
"Well, yes," Ron said truthfully. "But I don't think you really know the reason behind it."
"I'm listening," she said just a touch softer.
So Ron took a deep breath and let his heart do the talking.
"I haven't paid attention to you because I can't. Because when I pay attention to you I think about you. And when I think about you, you are literally all I think about. So I have made the very conscious decision to basically ignore you these past few months. Because, yes, I have a girlfriend and because I'm essentially a very weak person," Hermione was stunned speechless by his admission, and he took the opportunity to continue.
"I truly am sorry I didn't know about your grandmother. I know you were close to her and even named after her. And I'm even more sorry for what happened this morning. I honestly don't know what came over me. All I can say is that I'm an idiot sometimes, and I think in some weird way seeing you annoys me because I'm actually so desperate to be with you, and it came out sideways. You didn't deserve that."
Hermione's eyes welled with tears but she remained silent, so Ron just kept talking. The cat was out of the bag now, so he might as well lay it all out on the table as he had planned.
He continued, "But I need you to know that just because I haven't paid attention these past few months, I've paid nothing but attention these past five years. For example…
I knew I would find you here tonight. You love this chair because it's big enough you can curl your feet under you, and it's positioned so you can look out at the moon. I have seen how disappointed you are when someone else is sitting in it already, so I try to sit in it when it's empty until you arrive to save it for you."
Ron's words rang true, and Hermione remembered multiple times over the past few years where she had appeared in the Common Room and seen Ron sitting in her favorite chair. And he was always happy to hop up and let her have it. "Saved you a seat," he would always say cheerfully. It always made her stomach do flip flops. As she recalled that memory, Ron continued.
"You are using a green quill right now, so you must be studying herbology." As he said it, he reached over and gently lifted the book from her lap so he could see the cover, and sure enough, he was right. His hand brushed her leg as he put it back in her lap, and Hermione felt like she was on fire where he touched her. "You use black for every other subject, but green for herbology. I asked you once why, and you said it was because it was your worst subject, and writing in a different color helps you better retain the information. I remember thinking that it was impossible for you to have a worst subject." Hermione also remembered that conversation, which was at least three years ago. She couldn't believe he remembered that. He looked up to search her eyes. She was still just intently listening, so he continued on.
"You eat porridge for breakfast every Tuesday and Thursday, and you add one and a half spoons of brown sugar. Not one. Not two. One and a half. And you drink your pumpkin juice with just a touch of cream because it reminds you of pumpkin pie."
He didn't stop there.
"You love the first snowfall of the year because it means that hot chocolate stand sets up in Hogsmeade, and you love their peppermint hot chocolate."
"You love the smell of freshly-mown grass."
"You hum when you are nervous." …
As he continued to rattle off the many things he had noticed about Hermione over the years, her anger melted away and was replaced with pure disbelief. His words were so heartfelt. Her own memories about Ron came flooding over her. The way he stood up for her to Malfoy in their 2nd year when he'd called her a mudblood. The way he held her when they thought Buckbeak had been beheaded. The way he looked at her when they were at the Yule Ball, even though they were at odds at the time. The way he wasn't even embarrassed when she had knocked him on his bum when they were practicing spells last year. He had later told her how impressed he was. The way he had come to her aid when Hagrid's brother had picked her up in the forest. And earlier this year, before it had all gone belly up with Lav, the way he blushed from head to toe when she had kissed him on the cheek and whispered good luck before he tried out for the Quidditch team. In truth, she felt just as much to blame for the status of her and Ron as of late. She had not exactly been forthcoming about her own feelings. She was so overwhelmed by her feelings for him that they manifested as arguing with him and giving him a hard time pretty much all the time.
Ron's words and her flood of emotions caused the tears that were welling to begin spilling down her cheeks.
"So you see," Ron said, "I do pay attention. And I wanted you to know that." In what was a risky move, he reached and took her hand rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. Hermione completely caved at his touch. She moved forward to wrap her arms around him in a deep hug letting her herbology book fall off her lap and onto the floor. Ron returned her embrace pulling her close, and the moment he had her in his arms he knew this moment had been a long time coming. He held her close and breathed into hair as he let her cry softly on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry," he whispered again in her ear.
"Me too," she said finally pulling back to look into his eyes. Ron lifted his hands to brush the tears from her face with his thumbs. "It's not been all you," she admitted. "I haven't exactly been friendly or approachable as of late." She decided to be honest with him back since he had been so forthcoming with her. "When I saw you and Lav kiss after the Quidditch match, I felt sick," she said. "I knew I had feelings for you, but I don't think I recognized the magnitude of those feelings until I saw you with her. And then I knew it was too late, and it was my own fault for not being more open about my feelings. I've been angry with myself too."
"Thank you for telling me that," Ron said still holding her close.
"So what do we do now?" Hermione asked honestly.
Ron took a deep breath. "Well, the first step here is I have to break up with Lav," Ron admitted. "I had already decided that. It's not fair to her or us. Regardless of whether or not we decide to act on our feelings, I can't be with her when I'm in love with you."
Hermione's eyes widened. Of course, his heartfelt admissions had insinuated love, but she had not expected him to say it outright. "You are?" Hermione asked softly.
"Yes, silly," Ron said shaking his head. "As if that wasn't blatantly obvious by now."
Hermione smiled widely. "I feel the same way," she said, "but I'm not sure now's the right time to act on it," she admitted reluctantly.
Ron knew what she meant and had been expecting that.
"I get it," Ron said. "When – and if we do this – I want it to be right. Not on the heels of a relationship with someone else or while we seem to be fighting for our lives every day." Then to lighten the mood, he leaned his forehead against hers and said, "But you have to promise me that until we figure us out, you won't let Cormac near you. I see red every time he looks at you."
Hermione nodded and laughed. "Deal! And it's when – not if – we do this," she corrected him, and he grinned. "For now, we can at least perhaps get along a bit better now that our feelings are at least out in the open, don't you think?" she asked.
"I doubt it," Ron said laughing and pulled her closer to give her a kiss on the forehead. "But I can tell you one thing, I sure feel better now that you know. Does this mean you accept my apology?"
Hermione's cheeks were flushed from blushing from his kiss. She laughed. "Yes. Who knew I would ever actually be glad that you yelled at me? Guess that's what it took to get this all out in the open." They both laughed.
"Well you don't have to give her details, but please do tell Ginny that I made it up to you. You should have heard her lay into me this morning. It was worse than any tongue lashing my mum has ever given me. Worse than that Howler from second year even. Harry better keep in line." They both laughed at that.
They could hear voices in the hallway and knew the match was over and so was this beautiful moment. Ron needed to vanish quickly before Lav saw him. He would talk to her first thing tomorrow. He squeezed Hermione's hand one more time and searched her eyes. "So, we're good?" he asked.
"We're good," she responded nodding.
He leaned closely then, tucking her hair behind her ear, and then whispering – "Until when then," he said. He gave her one more quick kiss on the temple and then zipped up to his room.
Hermione sat a bit boggled trying to relieve each and every word that had just passed between then as she gathered her book from the floor and reconfigured herself in the chair.
Moments later most of the Gryffindors poured in. Ginny and Harry saw her in the corner and hopped over. "We've barely seen you today," Ginny said crouching in front of her. "Are you okay? I'm sorry my brother is such a bloody idiot!"
Hermione laughed. "Actually, we just chatted and sorted it all out," Hermione said.
"Oh really?" Ginny said a bit surprised but not entirely. She had noticed Ron's absence from the match and sure hoped he was on his hands and knees somewhere begging Hermione's forgiveness.
"We're good," Hermione said repeating the short sentiment she and Ron had exchanged. Her simple response made it clear to her friends that the conversation was over.
"Well, that's great," Harry said, and then they moved on to other topics.
The next morning, Ron made good on his word and broke up with Lavender. It was a hard but necessary conversation. He told her the truth — that he was not fully invested in their relationship and that wasn't fair to her. She had asked him if it was because of Hermione. He felt like she deserved the truth, so he said yes. That he was sorry, but he couldn't help his feelings for her. Lav nodded. "I knew that, you know," she said through tears. "but it seems maybe you've finally admitted that to yourself." Ron said, "I'm truly sorry, Lavender. I never meant to hurt you. You are a great girl, and you are going to make some bloke very lucky." Lavender was sad but accepted it. She had always known there was a deep emotional connection between Ron and Hermione, so she was not surprised.
When Ginny heard the news, she found Ron. "Hey, I heard about you and Lav. I'm sorry if I was rough on you yesterday morning, but I think you are doing the right thing," she said. "Hermione told me you two were good, so I guess you must have done something right."
"Thanks, sis," Ron said smiling. "You hurt me yesterday, but I absolutely deserved it. And honestly, I'm glad it happened. I think I just needed someone to say all that out loud to come to my senses."
Ginny nodded. "So does this mean you and Hermione … ?" She let her words trail off not quite knowing how to capture what she was trying to ask.
"Not exactly," Ron said. "We admitted our feelings for each other but agreed that it's not the right time to pursue a relationship. We are going to revisit that later." He chose the word "revisit" carefully.
Ginny was stunned. "That's very mature of you, Ronald. I'm proud of you. And while I standby what I said yesterday, I did want to clarify one thing. I don't think Hermione is too good for you. You two are astonishingly perfect for each other."
Ron smiled and hugged her. "Well she is too good for me, but the good news is she doesn't seem to know it," Ron said laughing, and they walked back to the Common Room together.
The end. Hope you enjoyed it. I could see something like this happening, which would have made all the feelings in Deathly Hallows that much more pronounced and still have culminated in that epic kiss! Thank you for reading.