A/N: Ahhh, I saw Wicked in London again this week! Elphaba and Glinda were played by Nikki Bentley and Helen Woolf, and they were amazing. I'm still coming off the high. I'm still sad about Alice Fearn leaving (the last Elphaba in London), but Nikki's performance soothed my grief a little haha.

It means so much to me to read people's reviews, see when someone has favourited or followed, and know that people are enjoying my story! Thanks a million. We have some more Elphaba-Nessa interaction in this chapter.

elphqba: Yes, it's really important to me to show Elphaba being vulnerable in this story, for a few reasons. Partly, it's because she's younger than in many fan fictions. She's only eighteen, which is really just a child. She's never been to Shiz which was a significant event for her in the musical, and in losing Mareem she has in essence just lost her mother figure. A lot of this story is about the bravery involved in growing up.

Shiz Student: Aw, you're the sweetest!

Silence. Elphaba was certain she didn't know how to deal with it.

Fiyero had since left the library, leaving the sisters alone. Not that it mattered. They had just spent the last several minutes looking anywhere but at one another, saying nothing. It was unnerving to say the least.

Finally, Nessa turned her baby blue eyes on Elphaba, just watching her, seemingly considering something very seriously. Elphaba sighed and reached out again for Nessa's hand – she hadn't moved from her kneeling position next to her little sister. Nessa stalled, as though considering whether to accept the gesture. After a clock-tick, though, she pulled her hand away a second time, looking up at Elphaba with a hurricane of questions circling in her eyes. When she spoke, she seemed to have put some thought into what she most needed to know. "Elphaba, what happened to Father?" she asked quietly.

Elphaba chewed on her lip, trying to disguise the stab of hurt she felt at the distance Nessa was putting between them. And how was she to answer the question? She settled for answering as honestly as possible.

"Mareem left."

Nessa looked confused. "Yes, I know."

"I couldn't handle it. It was too much. I'm sorry, Nessie."

Nessa stared at Elphaba blankly for a minute, trying to piece together what she was saying. Then understanding dawned on her face, and she seemed to wrestle with several emotions at once. Astonishment. Embarrassment. Incredulity. Sympathy. Fear.

"Your magic," she concluded. "You lost control of your magic."

Swallowing hard, Elphaba nodded. She may as well bite the bullet. Nessa was well aware of her abilities. There was no point in hiding her capacity for causing commotions at this point. They had grown up together, after all.

"And... Father?" Nessa probed.

It was difficult to determine what Nessa was thinking. She seemed to have pulled a mask over her face. Elphaba winced. "There was a vase. I... caused it to hit Father in the head. I didn't mean to. Oz, I didn't mean to." Her gaze bore into Nessa, begging her to return eye contact. To give some indication of what she was thinking and feeling. Nessa seemed to be experiencing a similar conflict within herself, however.

Her cheeks flushed a deeper rose colour, though she remained poised, her hands still placed elegantly in her lap. "Oh." She blinked. "Why didn't you tell me right away?"

Elphaba sighed heavily and rocked back on her heels. Truth be told, it hadn't occurred to her to inform Nessa. Her sister was right – she ought to have told her. It had been difficult to think about anything rationally at the time.

"I'm so, so sorry Nessa. You're right. I should have told you. I just... I don't know. I wasn't thinking."

"You said that already," Nessa said thoughtfully.

"What?" Elphaba's brow furrowed.

"That you weren't thinking," she clarified. "You seem... different."

Elphaba's breath caught in her throat. "Different how?"

Nessa pondered that, but at least she seemed to be opening up a little more, her face clearing. "I cannot say. It's difficult for me to describe." She frowned. "Ever since Prince Fiyero came, I daresay. You're more... secretive."

Elphaba gasped in horror. "Nessie! I hope you don't think I've been withdrawing from you."

Nessa shook her head. "No. Not exactly. But, Fabala... you are different. Before, you would have never neglected to tell me something like this. With Father hurt... you've told me that you weren't thinking, and I do believe you. I just don't understand." Her face seemed to settle on one emotion for the present. Hurt. At last, she looked Elphaba straight in the eye, and the insecurity that Elphaba saw there cracked her heart. "We've always been close. You're my big sister. But now it feels like I'm not as important to you anymore. You're forgetting me."

Horrified, Elphaba leaned forward, finally succeeding in grasping Nessa's hand tightly in her own emerald one. This time, Nessa didn't fight her. "My pretty, I would never forget about you. Never!" Her voice lowered in earnest pleading. "I love you more than anything! You're the most important thing in the whole world to me. You have to believe that."

Nessa's lip quivered just slightly, and it forced open the crack that had formed in Elphaba's heart. "But you're not talking to me as much. And you're spending so much time with Prince Fiyero. I thought..."

Elphaba suddenly found that she couldn't breathe, and her grip on Nessa's hand unconsciously tightened. "You thought... thought what?"

"I really like him, Fabala! Did you know that?"

"I... no. I mean, yes. How do you feel about him exactly?"

Nessa looked even more hurt at the question, if it were possible. "I admire him very, very much, Fabala. I thought you would know that, because you're my sister."

Elphaba looked down in consternation. She'd had no idea. Of course, she knew that Nessa was excited at the prospect of having a suitor, and she seemed to be getting along with Fiyero well enough. But she hadn't realised how Nessa really felt. The guilt was suffocating.

"Tell me," Elphaba prodded her further, ignoring the way it felt like something inside of her had died.

"He's been so sweet to me," Nessa said. "And so gentlemanly. I know the rumours we've heard about him are... unsavoury. But I really think those rumours were unfounded after all. Or maybe he's changed from the way he was. But..." she trailed off.

"But what?"

"That's not what I admire about him. I don't know, I just..." she wrapped her arms in a hug around herself, pulling out of Elphaba's grip. "He's kind. I enjoy spending time with him. And he makes me feel... human. Like I matter." She gestured down at her legs. "I've never really felt human. Only half a person. He's the first person outside of you and Father to care."

Elphaba didn't know what to say. What Nessa was describing was very much how she herself felt concerning the prince. She had certainly noticed that he was very good to Nessa. And to Mareem, for that matter. He was even polite to their Father, insofar as such a thing was possible. If it was in Fiyero's nature to treat people that way, then she found that she respected and cared for him even more than she already had. A part of her, though, hadn't been able to help wondering whether there was anything different in the way he was with her. Anything that was different to the way he treated Nessa, Mareem and Father. Perhaps it was foolish to think there might be. No. Fiyero was just kind, because that was who he was. It didn't mean anything that he'd been so good to her lately. It didn't mean anything other than that he was simply good. That caused her to feel great admiration for him, but also produced a heavy disappointment in her chest.

Elphaba closed her eyes for a fraction of a second, processing what Nessa had said, then opened them again. Nessa was looking at her strangely again, as if she were trying to decide whether to say something else.

Elphaba tried to smile at her in a way that would be encouraging. She had no idea if it worked, but Nessa continued all the same. "But Fabala, when I came in just now, I thought..." she took a deep breath, seemingly trying to collect herself. She suddenly looked very solemn. "Elphaba, is there anything going on between you and Prince Fiyero?"

All the oxygen left the room in a rush. Was there something? Elphaba felt the blood drain from her face as she fought to keep breathing calmly. Her other hand reached for Nessa's - the one that wasn't already grasping hers – and she kissed both of Nessa's hands fervently. "No, my pretty. No, of course not." Her head spun as she considered the lie she'd just told. Maybe there was nothing on Fiyero's side. He couldn't have feelings for her. Surely that was enough, wasn't it? If she herself felt anything more than what she should for Fiyero, Nessa didn't need to know that, did she? Elphaba tried very hard not to remember how badly she'd wanted to kiss Fiyero just now.

Tears stood in Nessa's eyes. "You say that, but you were alone in here just now, talking for goodness knows how long!"

"It wasn't that long, Nessa," Elphaba defended herself.

"I see how you look at him, you know!"

"I don't look at him in any special way."

Nessa shook her head. "If I hadn't come in just now, what would have happened?"

"Nothing!"

"Please, Elphaba!" Nessa's lip quivered. She pulled her hands from her sister's, lowering her voice. "Please don't do this to me. You say there's nothing between you, but everything you do says otherwise." Her words became quieter, almost like a whisper. "I don't want to fight. I want you back."

"You never lost me," Elphaba choked out.

At last, Nessa cracked a small watery smile, but it fell off her face almost immediately, a blanket of guilt taking its place. "I'm sorry, Fabala. I'm being unreasonable, I know I am." She bit her lip hard, turning wide remorseful eyes on to Elphaba. "I didn't mean to accuse you. You've never been anything but a wonderful sister to me. And of course I want you and Prince Fiyero to be friends. Just..." she rubbed her arms as if she was cold. "Can you ask for me next time? I'd rather you weren't alone."

"I'll prove it to you," Elphaba said passionately. "I promise Nessie, I'll prove it to you that I would never do anything like that to you." She drew Nessa into a hug, and for a moment, they simply allowed themselves to embrace. Pulling away, Elphaba caressed Nessa's pale cheek that just now looked almost translucent from their argument. She pressed a gentle kiss where her hand had touched and brushed away a stray strand of her hair. "I won't be alone with him again. If that's what it takes for you to know you can trust me." Desperately, she tried to keep her voice under control, to hide from Nessa how much the words affected her. "I do care for him, immensely. But he's just a friend. And I have been wrong to spend so much time alone with him. It wasn't right, or fair to you. I'm so sorry, Nessa."

Nessa nodded, still looking a little teary. "I believe you. And it's alright. I love you, Fabala."

"I love you too. So much." Elphaba forced a smile. "If it makes you feel better, you can be assured that Prince Fiyero has my approval. I know I was wary of him to begin with, but I've met him now, and he's a good man. If you marry him, you have my blessing."

Nessa' face took a sudden, glowing turn, and her eyes sparkled in delight. "Really? Really, Fabala? You approve?"

Elphaba nodded, ignoring the way her heart turned cold. "I do. Wholeheartedly. You deserve him, my sweet. And I know he'll treat you well."

Nessa looked like she was about to burst with happiness.

"I'll also help you," Elphaba continued. "I'll help you find more ways to spend time with him. Whatever it takes for you to get to know him better. And however your courtship ends, you have my support and my love."

Nessa's hands moved in excited gestures by her side, as if she were about to start clapping. "Thank you, Fabala! And you'll spent time with us sometimes, won't you?"

Elphaba's lips pulled into a tight smile. She hoped it didn't look like a grimace. "If that's what you wish, then of course."

This time, Nessa did start clapping gleefully.

Elphaba felt the sudden need to turn away. To hide her emotion, she stood up and ambled towards one of the library shelves, pretending to peruse it. She could no longer deny the way her heart was turning towards the Vinkun prince. It had hurt, more than she would ever have imagined, to give up what they had built, however short a time it had lasted. She was no simpleton – she knew that after Nessa's confession, and after the promise she'd made to her sister, there was no way they could continue the sweet friendship that had sprung up between them, however platonic it might have been up until now. It hadn't exactly been a normal kind of friendship. Elphaba realised that now. How could she have ever thought that she only saw him as an acquaintance, a friend – a brother at most? Her own naivety had been a curse, preventing her from seeing what was really there and from recognising her feelings for what they were. And now, after the conversation she'd had with Nessa... she had to pull away. More than anything, Nessa could never know that her sister was falling for her beau.

And who knew? Maybe Fiyero would be able to love Nessarose. He would certainly be kind to her. Elphaba was sure of that. Nessa deserved to be happy. So maybe, maybe she could resign herself to being Fiyero's sister.

Maybe.

At any rate, she had no other choice.

…

When Frex awoke, Elphaba and Nessa were in his chamber with him.

Frex's eyes opened just a fraction, and then he closed them immediately after, his forehead creasing in pain, a faint grunt passing his lips.

Nessa gasped lightly from where she sat at the foot of his bed, and she wheeled across to him, taking up his hand in her own, watching him closely. "Father?" she asked meekly, "Father, are you awake?"

The crater in Frex's forehead deepened, and with a moan he lifted his hand to his head, where a bandage was wrapped around. "Wha-" his voice croaked.

Nessa lifted her hand to his head, ghosting her fingers down his face. "Shh, Father, it's ok. Fabala and I are here."

Elphaba hadn't moved a muscle. She sat stiffly on a chair at Frex's other side, trying to pretend that she wasn't frightened at the thought of him waking up. She closed her eyes, holding back a moan herself. She'd hoped that Nessa wouldn't announce her presence to Father.

At any rate, he didn't seem in a condition to react to her being there right now. "Wh-at happ-" he tried to get out.

Nessa continued her soothing. "You had a fall." This was the story she and Elphaba had agreed on. At least, unless he remembered himself. "You're alright now, Papa."

The door creaked, and both Elphaba and Nessa looked over as Fiyero entered with a basin of warm water and a cloth. He smiled grimly, kneeling down next to Nessa and placing the basin at her feet. Silently, he wrung the cloth in his hands and handed it to Nessa. Nessa accepted it, placing it feather-light on Frex's forehead, where the bandage didn't cover. This seemed to soothe him, and the lines in his forehead smoothed out. He kept his eyes shut and said no more.

Nessa furrowed her brow in anxiety. "I hope he'll be alright."

"I wouldn't worry, Miss Nessarose," Fiyero replied in a monotone voice. "Just give him time. It's a nasty injury he has."

Nessa nodded. "Thank you for your help, Your Highness."

"It's no trouble."

"I should get back to work," Elphaba spoke quietly, rising woodenly from her chair.

Nessa frowned. "Must you? With Father so ill?"

Elphaba chuckled bitterly. "Yes, I'm afraid so, my pretty. And besides, I believe it would please Father better if I were doing something useful when he wakes, rather than sitting uselessly in his chamber."

"He'll be glad to have you here, I'm sure..." Nessa argued weakly.

If only that were so. But they both knew that Frex despised her presence.

"I can help you, if you'd like, Elphaba. You must have a lot to do, especially with Mareem gone now," Fiyero looked at her with those beautiful blue eyes of his.

Elphaba's heart thudded loudly in her chest, and she licked her dry lips. "Thank you, but I'll be alright. You may keep my sister company."

Nessa flashed a grateful smile at her.

Fiyero looked like he wanted to argue, but then he seemed to deflate, as though coming to some conclusion. "Yes, of course," he said.

He looked so sad in that moment, that Elphaba couldn't resist walking over to him and taking his hand briefly. "Thank you, really," she said, almost pleadingly.

Fiyero looked straight into her eyes and squeezed her hand back. When she let go of his hand, she instantly missed the contact.

"I have to go," she mumbled, leaving the room as quickly as possible.

"Leave the door open!" Nessa called after her as she exited, and Elphaba smiled a little to herself. Oh, her dear, ever proper little sister. Obliging, she left the door half open, and leaned back against the wall, out of sight of those inside the room.

Her breaths came in ragged spurts as she brought her hands up to scrub her face. What was wrong with her? It was bad enough that she cared for the prince as much as she did. Why couldn't she just let him go? Did she really have to be so affected by him? Her stupid heart was beating far too erratically right now.

…

Elphaba compulsively checked to her left and right to make sure no one was watching while she pushed Cowper – again – underneath her coat. This was becoming a very, very bad habit, she was well aware. And so was Cowper, if his annoyed yowling was anything to go by.

Innocently, she pretended to be fussing with her belt as Fiyero and Nessa joined her in the hallway, Fiyero pushing Nessa's chair.

"Are you ready?" Elphaba asked them.

Nessa beamed and nodded her head. She had begged Elphaba to dress her in her favourite blush walking dress that morning, knowing that they would be going out, and wanting to make as good of an impression on Fiyero as possible. As per their agreement, Elphaba had not argued with her.

Nessa's hair was elegantly styled in a romantic coil that framed her heart-shaped face very nicely, and she'd even put a little colour on her lips. It was her smile, though, that was her main attraction. She looked charming. Self-consciously, Elphaba fidgeted with her comparatively dark hair and turned away minutely so no one would be able to look too closely at her skin.

"How's Father today?" she asked, mostly as a distraction.

Nessa looked thoughtful, then nodded. "He's improving, I think. Are you sure you don't want to see him? There's no rush for us to leave. You could just visit him briefly."

Elphaba shuddered, but tried not to show it. "No. Thank you."

Nessa looked like she frowned for a split second, but then it cleared like clouds dispersing.

Frex had been more affected by his head injury than any of them had expected. Nessa had been so worried, she'd even convinced Elphaba to call for a physician to assess his condition. The physician had declared that the injury was not serious, and they could expect him to make a full recovery in due course. He was, however, equally puzzled that the Governor was not back on his feet much quicker.

"It's almost as though something is keeping him down that I'm not seeing," he'd remarked.

Elphaba was pretty sure that "something" was likely her out of control magic. After all, that was what had caused him to be injured in the first place. Who was to say she hadn't inadvertently fuelled the accident? She kept this suspicion to herself, though. There was no need for anyone to see her for the witch she was fairly certain she was. At least, not any more than usual.

The excursion they were about to go on was a welcome distraction for everyone. Nessa had been especially eager to see the travelling market that was coming through Munchkinland. She had heard of all the beautiful things there were there, made by some of the most talented craftsmen in Oz. Trinkets, jewels, fine art and pottery – this market was said to have it all. Their Father, although significantly weakened, was now awake and had placed a generous amount of cash in Nessa's hand to spend however she wished. "As a gift from me, and an apology, my darling," he had said, "for not being able to spend as much time with you as I'd like."

No such money had been given to Elphaba, of course. Not that she particularly wished to buy anything. Unless money could buy her father's love.

Fiyero was looking at her bulging coat very suspiciously right now. His gaze locked with hers, and his eyes sparkled with poorly concealed amusement, tinged with fond mockery and exasperation. Elphaba flushed and coughed.

"Put on weight, have you Elphaba?" Fiyero's question was delivered innocently enough, and anyone would be forgiven for thinking the query to be a casual, if tactless one typical of the male sex. The tightening of his lips, however, that betrayed a held back smirk told a different story. Over Nessa's head, he mouthed a cheeky "meow" at her.

Elphaba's cheeks burned even more deeply and furiously. How had he found her out? Pride pricked, she straightened up and levelled his gaze, daring him to tease her. So what if she felt like bringing Cowper along today? It was none if his business. She could do whatever she pleased.

Even if she herself was perplexed as to why she'd felt the need to bring the black cat along. That would be a notion she'd have to analyse further later.

"Oh, Your Highness," Nessa moaned in polite despair. "I am certain my sister has not put on any weight. You see she's as thin as a beggar off the street."

So Nessa hadn't noticed the wriggling feline under her coat, then. Just as well.

Fiyero frowned, as though just noticing this himself. "You are very thin, Elphaba."

Elphaba resisted the urge to stick her nose in the air in offense. "Begging your pardon, your Highness. I am not a calf needing fattened up for your pleasure."

He raised a sardonic brow at her sharp reply. "I never suggested you were."

Elphaba huffed. "Well, instead of continuing your little dialogue on my figure, why don't you and my sister find something more productive to talk about?" She strode over to the door, opening it and inclining her head sharply, her left arm still wrapped awkwardly around her stomach where Cowper was hidden. Obediently, Fiyero pushed Nessa's chair forward as they made their way out.

"No need to be... catty," Fiyero deadpanned, a second before his face spasmed in amusement at his own joke.

Elphaba's fingers tingled with the desire to hit him.

Nessa sighed and looked down at her lap as they neared the carriage that was waiting for them, ready to take them into town where the market would be. "Elphaba..." she started.

Elphaba kneeled next to her in concern. "Are you alright, Nessa?"

Nessa beckoned for her to come closer. Fiyero took the hint and wandered around to the other side of the carriage. "Please, Fabala," she begged softly. "Don't do this."

"Do what?" Elphaba was perplexed.

"Every time you and Prince Fiyero interact, you're either arguing or..." she trailed off. She didn't need to finish that sentence. The memory of Nessa's accusations were still fresh in Elphaba's mind.

Elphaba smiled sadly, and briefly stroked Nessa's cheek with her thumb consolingly. "I promised, didn't I?"

Nessa smiled, nodding.

Elphaba straightened up and called for the prince. "Fiyero, we need to get Nessa into the carriage."

Fiyero poked his head around the carriage, nodding. Neither noticed that it was the first time she had dropped his title in front of Nessa. "Of course. What do you need me to do?"

Elphaba moved to lift Nessa out of her chair, as she was accustomed to doing by herself. "Could you get inside first, then I'll hand her to you?"

Obligingly, the prince did so, hopping up and turning around easily to receive Nessarose's light body in his arms. Gently, he placed her back against the seat. "Are you comfortable?" he asked her.

"Yes," she replied demurely, blushing prettily as Elphaba folded up her chair. She tilted her face a little towards him. Recognising the request, Fiyero leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

Elphaba busied herself with lifting the chair into the carriage, willing away the sudden dampness of her eyes at the display. Brusquely, she walked around to the other side and hoisted herself into the seat on Fiyero's other side. Close. She was so close to him. "Let's go," she said hoarsely, turning to stare out the window. Discretely, she tried to put as much distance between herself and Fiyero as she could, pressing uncomfortably against the side of the carriage.

She would keep her promise to Nessa. By Oz, she would.

A/N: Until next chapter. Love you all!