Sandōkai
III. Wherein Lie the Thoughts of Dzogchen
POV - Hatake Sakumo I
"Good intentions do not always suffice."
—Ufuoma Apoki
For all that he was a revered shinobi of Konoha, Sakumo was aware that he wasn't the best parent there was. He knew he wasn't even the best father there was. But hell, he tried when he could and he thought that at least no one could absolve him of trying.
(Over a million-and-one ways of knowing how to kill somebody but not knowing how to handle his own kids.)
Clan kids were always ahead in some way. Hatake children moreso. They had a history of churning out prodigies not like any other barring the Nara and Chisuga clans; maturity settled faster on Hatake children, it was just how it was. Sakumo can definitely remember being ahead of his peers both emotionally and mentally, having to work twice as hard to keep up physically because of some finicky part of the Hatake chakra that made them predisposed to larger amounts of Yin chakra. It was why they matured faster.
Even with all these reasons (excuses, Sakumo, they're excuses), he wouldn't say that there was no guilt when he looked at his children, Kakashi with his aloof and awkward manner, Heiya with her obedient and filial feelings of obligation that should not be on the too-slam shoulders of a girl who was four and a half. Failure was etched out in the sand between the unspoken like dividing him and his kids on two different planes he couldn't quite reach.
But then therein laid another problem:Hatake children weren't raised alone. (Neither were Inuzuka.)
Sakumo had the last pieces of a legacy that was over a thousand years old, deteriorating records too smudged and ruined to read, giving only one character of interest that had stayed true for millennia. Hatake.
And what could he do, the last of a once-numerous clan? His parents had perished in the First Great War, cousins and uncles and aunts all following up to the Second Great War. The Hatake had been dragged through the dirt, hunted and killed on the battlefield because of the way they had been feared for their terrifyingly effective techniques and white chakra. They had lineages, contracts, relations, allies. The Hatake Clan once held political clout on Konoha's stage, they still did, but it wasn't what it used to be. They were like the Kurama or the Izumo, holding onto a bloodline that had yet to wink out.
It was heavy. It was a heavy burden and he wasn't afraid to admit that. Kahori had carried that burden with him when she was alive, laughing around the ends of her chopsticks while Kakashi clumsily toddled around the room with limbs not quite used to moving. His heart panged, an old wound opened up by his brooding. There would be nothing accomplished like this, sitting around like an old doll that never saw play.
Sighing, he toed the bottom of the shoji, fiddling with it and trying to not puncture a hold into the thin rice-paper before finally managing to get it to slide open. Heiya was light in his arms, but he had to maneuver so her head wouldn't bonk into the doorframe of the house. It was a struggle trying to cart her home, he was so obviously shinobi, that after the first block from the Yamanaka District where non-shinobi-clan civilians crowded, he had immediately taken to the roofs after the suspicious stares from his dangling, unconscious daughter in his arms.
While well-meaning, he didn't need the hassle or trouble of having to explain that Heiya was his daughter and no he did not steal her for nefarious shinobi purposes. Despite living side-by-side with ninja, most non-shinobi-clan civilians were obnoxiously ignorant of their protector class. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so frustrating.
He had earned a few amused looks on the way home from fellow shinobi and he was sure that word would go around the Jōnin Station of the legendary White Fang carrying his tuckered-out kid home. It wouldn't be the first time. His personal life was one of curiosity from the younger promotions, his status of strength rivalling the Sannin—
"Dad?"
Heiya blinks blearily at him, squinting in the low light of her room. It's night-time now, the lights in the garden automatically turning on from some old fūinjutsu a Hatake had placed, peeking dimly through the rice-paper that separated her room from opening into the minature kaiyushiki teien.
"Hey, grey cat." He kneels, pulling back the covers on her futon to ease her into it. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Tired." She blinks again, looking just like the nickname he called her by. Sakumo could almost hear Kahori then, snorting softly into his ear at the nickname he bestowed upon their youngest. Small hands reach to pull up her covers and he helps by tucking them in around her.
"Yeah." Sakumo chuffs, trying to make sure the smile on his face looks real. Yamanaka Inomasa's voice echoes in his mind, the man's dark blue eyes flitting over his daughter almost confusedly before he turned to Sakumo. "You really tired yourself out."
Her eyes close, shifting onto her side to lean more towards him. His heart clenches. "I did?"
His fingers find their way into her hair, too much like his own. Sakumo had always hoped she would inherit Kahori's less eye-catching shade, silvery hair led to teasing and girls were always a bit more cruel than boys when it came to exclusion of those they deemed different.
"Mhm." He tucks his feet underneath him to settle. "Ran around like a 'lil demon. Tuckered yourself out before we could grab some takoyaki."
He pushed her hair back, savoring the way the strands felt between his fingers. She looked so at ease, curled up and pressed as close as she could to him without falling out of her futon. It was sweet, really, and he was just relieved.
There was nothing wrong.
("Are you sure?" He had asked, hands curling protectively over his daughter's shoulders. Inomasa had stared at her, long and searching before furrowing his brows and turning to Sakumo with a measured look he couldn't quite place."She will be fine. Just a bit confused by simple things. I would keep a careful eye on her for any developments. Don't hesitate to bring her to me.")
A weight had been lifted from his shoulders at the Yamanaka Head's report, tension bleeding from his form as he had thanked the blonde man and had carefully scooped up his daughter in his arms before taking the rooftops home. He had been home for less than a day before reading Kakashi's note and while Heiya seemed to be fine and fully functioning, he didn't miss the slight pauses or addled looks his daughter gave when she was faced with something like the blender.
Still, it would be a normal thing until her mind had fully integrated whatever pieces were upturned. Sakumo tried not to worry too much about it, Hatake chakra leaned more into the yin side of things. She would be fine.
He didn't begrudge his son on not sending a missive about his sister's condition, it was something that he would've worried about until he managed to steal an early break home that would've no-doubt had him on guard-duty for a month. Kakashi was a smart kid, he weighed pros and cons and followed the Shinobi Rules to a fault. He was a good kid; a good older brother too.
Retracting his hand, he pressed a kiss onto Heiya's brow, freezing when she shifted onto her other side before getting up. His knees cracked and he winced, a hand going around himself to push at the dull ache in his back. He was getting old, damnit.
Huffing, he turned for the door, throwing the room a cursory glance. It was the same as always, Heiya, just like Kakashi, was just as much of a stickler for organization as her older brother (most likely his influence).
It was just another point in how advanced she was, four years almost reaching onto five, showing a startling care in her own personal things that most children didn't grasp until they were in their pre-teens. Or was it normal? Sakumo couldn't be too sure. He was the youngest in the last surviving generation of Hatakes, he had no knowledge of how those with their blood progressed. Although Kakashi had been the same, but also Kakashi held the record in graduating the Academy in a blindingly short amount of time, so that couldn't be too good of a starting point then. He was lucky that his son ended up with Minato, for any other Jōnin would've surely found a reason to drop him, prodigy or not.
Being a babysitter wasn't on the job description.
Still, they all ended up doing it one way or another. Jōnin were required to take teams and pass on their own skills and knowledge, those who failed teams out of spite or not wanting to be saddled with kids kept getting them until a team passed and made it out on Konoha's theme as a certified ninja
Very few Jōnin managed to dodge becoming teachers for the younger generation at one point or another, but those who did were flagged down as 'incompatible' with children to a degree that keeping them away from kids was better off. There were just those that would end up traumatizing or killing multiple teams of Genin-hopefuls. Unfortunately, Sakumo was not one of those shinobi incompatible with children as he had two of his own for proof (Kakashi's blindingly fast graduating rate had pushed more pressure onto him for taking up a team) along with being the last few members of a bloodline that while did not have their own bloodline-limit, had the anomaly that was white chakra..
He hoped that if Heiya chose to become a shinobi, she would end up with a competent teacher. She had developed a habit of deflecting (if very badly) these past few years, when asked about the Academy. Honestly, he was surprised she didn't jump into her brother's shoes and aim to graduate as fast as possible, but by what he knew and saw of Heiya...she just lacked the drive to do so.
She followed through the katas and exercises both he and Kakashi showed her without complaint, taking like a duck to water the training regime Kakashi had poured down her throat whether she was cooperative or not. If she chose, she could become a great kunoichi, Sakumo didn't doubt it. She was a Hatake. That's all she needed. It was in their blood.
Taking one last look over the room before settling his gaze on the sleeping figure in the futon, he gave a small, tired smile. Here, he could at least feel a little less unburdened.
"Love you, grey cat."
"Push your knees inwards more, Heiya." He leaned down to move said knees, catching the soft hitch of his daughter's breath at the more strenuous position.
With nothing to do as most of the small errands he usually picked up when he got home were completed by Heiya, Sakumo had taken it upon himself to drag Heiya out from whatever cleaning she had been doing because Sakumo had been under the impression that his kids were commissioning Genin teams to clean and manage upkeep of their compound, not doing it themselves.
So here they were, spending a good amount of time together in what Sakumo liked to think as father-daughter bonding, because what better way was there to bond than teaching your kid how to defend themselves? It would also be good training for Heiya if she finally decided to make up her mind and join the Academy.
It was only a bonus that his daughter was such a dutiful student, following his lead with complete trust, even when her body clumsily folded in a way that had him cringing.
"Do you feel any sort of burn?"
Heiya nods, "My inner thighs."
"That's good! Now let's push downwards into crane and lift up." He demonstrated, movements slow and smooth compared to her jerky ones. They had been at it for the past four hours, only stopping to pause for short water breaks more for Heiya's sake than his own. She was a dutiful and diligent study and if it wasn't for Sakumo remembering that taking small breaks during training was a thing (he steadfastly ignored the fact that he forgot to instill resting times with Kakashi's own training) or she would end up just like his eldest.
He watches as she folds herself upwards into a perfect Crane Stance, her back arching a bit to provide balance. She has the Hatake build that leans more into agility and flexibility, unlike Kakashi who had inherited the Inuzukas' build for speed and strength.
"Curve downwards and hands out for Tiger."
"Stance or seal?" Heiya asks, arms trembling.
"Stance." Sakumo nods, watching as she folds downwards with a wince as her back pops. It's an easy shift in kata, but with how they have been doing nothing but kata for the last four hours, he could imagine the burn in thighs and calves she must be feeling.
"Good." Dirt crunches under his sandals as he circles around her, reaching out to push his hand on her back for a straighter stance. Both of his kids had great posture, but with how Heiya had taken to doing most of the housework with both himself and Kakashi gone on missions, she had adopted a tired slouch.
(Sakumo ignored the small nagging voice in the back of his head that screamed guilt.)
"How about we get started on some lunch before your brother gets home," He turns his head skyward, squinting against the brightness of the sun. It was a cloudy day today with fat, fluffy clouds slowly making their way across the blue expanse of the sky. "I'm sure he would want some of the eggplants you grew him."
Heiya brightens, "Do you think they're ready to be harvested?"
He leans down, hands going under her armpits to lift her up into his arms with a laugh. "They look perfect, grey cat. Any longer and the locusts will start coming."
She wrinkles a nose, her little legs coming up to circle his torso. It is a simple action, but it has Sakumo inwardly melting. He forgets how small his children are and with Heiya's legs barely even coming around his torso—it's adorable.
"Can you help me pick the eggplants?" Dark eyes blink up at him, her pale face holding that inquisitive charm only children seem to be able to do.
He ruffled her hair, enjoying the small squawk he received despite the dampness of sweat that now sticks to his hand. "Of course, pup."
"Dad!" She whines, hands coming up from around his shoulders to rearrange her hair as he sets her down. Heiya glares up at him through silvery strands, though there is a lack of heat and he can't help but chuckle as she stalks off around the training yard to her small garden.
Sakumo isn't sure where she gets her green thumb from, but she has kept her garden for the better part of a year despite what his limited pool of friends had said about the ability of a three-year-old to care for plants. But Kakashi and Heiya had always been special, so after a year and a half of tending to the little garden he had made for her as a surprise birthday gift, she had yet a plant to die on her watch.
It was amazing really, with what little affinity he had with plants went along the lines of just barely keeping them alive. It was a wonder how his bonsai was still hanging on, but that bonsai had been a weird Hatake heirloom from some random Senju ancestor who married into the family. That bonsai had been a vibrant and lush green from when he had inherited it from Konomi-oba. He was sure that if she was still alive, she would hang him by her toes for letting the leaves brown.
He shivered.
As wrong as it may sound, he was glad at times that he was the last of his line. His childhood of a compound full of Hatakes was one also full of overpowered socially-awkward shinobi who let all pretense of social niceties and graces go right out the window when faced with their kin.
Sakumo had too many experiences of relatives who had no qualms about dragging you out of bed at three in the morning armed with the reasons of curiosity and 'just because I wanted to.' It was in their blood to see how people reacted, just to place them somewhere in some weird mental hierarchy that he never fully understood himself. It was his lament that, that certain trait hadn't died out along with the last few members of the Hatake Clan in the Second Great War, but had rather miraculously revived itself in Kakashi when his son was testing his authority and boundaries.
Honestly, if the kid wasn't half-Inuzuka, that trait could've died out, but Sakumo just had to go and fall in love with a kunoichi who found the battlefields as fun as kicking around a temari ball at her own genpuku.
(In his defense, it was not his fault that the only person who had stirred any sort of interest was one tall, high-combat frontlining kunoichi who's grins were more of a feral smirk.)
That's what he got for marrying someone from his sister clan. The trait strengthened itself to survive, because he knew for sure that the Inuzuka had something similar to their own, but more rooted in testing the limits of their Alpha in some sort of primal gesture that Sakumo didn't really understand.
"We can make eggplant miso!" Heiya cheers, her arms laden with eggplants as she turns the corner. Her voice tears Sakumo out from his thoughts and he laughs as he spots his daughter, eggplants and all practically falling out of her arms.
"I thought you didn't like eggplant miso?" He asks, eyes crinkling as he takes a few of the vegetables from her arms. The waxy sheen of the skin is almost smug in how healthy the produce is. Whatever Senju affinity towards plants that had been graced to his line from Senju Chigusa, a good six generations before his own.
The Senju were...prolific. A good chunk of Konohans were related to the Senju in some way and it wasn't unheard of to have a Senju in the family tree somewhere since the founding of the village. Besides, the Hatake had always been on friendly-enough terms with the Senju even before Konoha was founded.
Heiya shrugs, clumsily shucking out of her own sandals before putting on house slippers, Sakumo doing the same. "I don't mind it much. Kakashi-nī just really likes eggplant and it's hard to eat something that tastes only like eggplant."
He laughs at her wry tone, catching the sly smile on her face before following her to the kitchen. They set the eggplants down in the sink, Sakumo put on chopping and washing duty along with reaching anything above the countertops.
Maybe a four-and-a-half year old child cooking dinner would be a worry for most parents, but Sakumo has learned to just take things in stride when it comes to his kids. Kakashi graduating from the Academy in a year? Great, he has always been a bit more intelligent than other kids, right? Heiya somehow morphing into a little old woman with the chores and hobbies she has taken up since his mission-absence? Kids like new things, right? Maybe this was hers.
Letting his kids have the freedom they desired opened them up to becoming their own people. Independence is needed if they want to lead a life of shinobi because coddling wasn't a thing in the ranks, no matter how much the other villages poked at Konoha for doing so. The closest thing to coddling they got was a session in Torture and Interrogation or Konoha General Hospital, depending on your post-mission status, where you got saddled with a Yamanaka who managed to pry information out of you while teaching techniques on how to cope, not heal, because healing took time; time that could be used better by being on the Active Duty Roster.
"Dad, can you pass the vinegar?" A tiny hand points to a cabinet above.
"Which one?" He asks, because there are four different labels of vinegar and Sakumo thought that there was only the one because he remembered Kahori praising how it was such an all-around ingredient because you could use it in cleaning as well.
"Just the regular one." Heiya turns away from him, hopping off her stool to scurry over to the pots and wrestle with unstacking them.
White Vinegar is stamped on the label on one of them, a small mascot advertising other products in tiny, comical script peering out from the corner of the label. 'An Ōuchi Clan product!' is written in colorful characters on the backside, poking at their competitors in some small comic that has him distracted again as he reads over the back label.
Huh. He wasn't aware that there were other suppliers of food that weren't Akimichi. They had dominated the food industry since the village founding, even going so far back to having exclusive contracts with the Honorable Ashikaga Clan that they kept up to the present day. Finding food-stuff not stamped with Akimichi in some way whether it be a label citing that they imported it or made it, was hard.
"This one?" He tilts the bottle so she can read it from her angle at the stovetop.
"I think so.'
Sakumo raises a sardonic brow, a wry smile on his lips as he turns to face her. "What do you mean, you think so? C'mon grey cat, you don't need to tease your poor ol' dad like that."
"Dad. I can't read."
He blinks. Did he hear that right?
"You can't read?" He parrots, feeling a bit lost. Was this another one of those tricks that she and Kakashi had been experimenting with? He was sure that whatever prankster phase they had been in ended months ago after one nasty incident involving glue and a panicked Kakashi when faced with his crying little sister trying to get said glue out of her hair.
Besides, he was sure that he would notice if one of his kids couldn't read. Kakashi was able by the time he was three, albeit not fluently, but he fully remembered his stubborn son seated with a child's picture book and refusing to ask for help from either of his parents.
("It's adorable, Saku, stop pouting. Let him grow into himself and learn when to ask for help.")
Kahori's snicker rings in his mind.
He crouches, holding the vinegar out. "Read it."
Heiya gives him a bland look, dry disappointment hanging onto her every word as she turns away from him to set the found pot on the stove. "Dad. I can't read."
Sakumo sputters, staring after his youngest as she takes the bottle from his hands and pops open the cap easily, smelling the contents and pulling a face at the enhanced-sniff she just took because what the hell, didn't Kakashi or himself ever tell her to not do something like that because of their clan's enhanced senses?
Something related to panic and horror began to cross his mind because if he was so sure that Heiya was at least somewhat literate, then what else did he manage to miss in basic information-passing when raising her?
"Heiya."
She hummed, sidling up next to him to grab a handful of sliced eggplants.
"Heiya."
"Yes, Dad?" She doesn't look over her shoulder as she measures the broth, a concentrated look on her small face.
"Are you aware of anything pertaining to Hatake abilities and customs?" His own voice sounds a bit distant as he asks, he never thought he would have to ask a Hatake this question because, if she says 'no' then he really will have failed and both Kahori and his Venerable Ancestors will probably flog him in the Pure Lands and—
"No." She shrugs, flicking the knob to increase the heat on the stove. "I was under the impression that I would receive tutors upon receiving my obi."
Sakumo can't quite hold in the choking sound that comes from his throat.
Sakumo hears him before he even rounds the corner, chakra buzzing in irritation as his eldest slinks into the room with a heavy slouch.
"Welcome home," He greets, watching in how his son peels his gloves off himself with a look of distaste in his dark eyes. "Hard mission?"
Kakashi flops onto his seat with a great sigh. "No. Just an annoying civilian."
"Escort?"
"Mm." Kakashi's eyes slide shut, head tilting back ever so slightly. As a Genin, he wouldn't have anything too hard on the mission roster, but there were always a few instances. Besides, everyone knew how annoying escort missions could be if saddled with the wrong civilian.
"Was it Kirigawa?" Sakumo asks, the clatter of his daughter in the kitchen picking up as she rushes through getting the meal out of the kitchen as fast as possible.
Without opening his eyes, Kakashi shakes his head. "No. Ishikawa."
Ah.
"The daughter?"
"Mm."
"Dad! I need your help!" Heiya pokes her head out of the kitchen, eyes landing on her brother before smiling. She doesn't say anything however, beckoning Sakumo to join her.
Stretching out of his rather poor seiza, he tries to not wince at the pop in his knees as he straightens out. He was getting old.
Heiya is stubbornly pushing off a great clay pot off the stove and onto the counter as gently as she can without disturbing the soup into spilling off the edges when he walks in. Quickly, he steps around her and lightly bumps her out of the way with his hip so he can easily grab the pot.
She gapes at him.
"Want me to put it on the table?"
She blinks rapidly, dark eyes darting from his face and then to his hands with increasing incredulity and concern flickering over her features. "Are your hands okay?"
"Why wouldn't they be?" Sakumo raises a brow, watching her struggle to find a response before she gives a great sigh, nodding.
"Come back and grab the rest please. I will set the table." With that, she turns to rummage through the drawers.
Kakashi is still slouching back, but he quirks up into a passive proper sitting pose, eyes focused on the pot in Sakumo's hands.
"Is that eggplant miso?" There's something akin to hope in Kakashi's voice and Sakumo tries not to laugh at the sparkle beginning to shine in the boy's eyes.
He sets the pot down in the center of the table. "Of course it is. It's your 'welcome back' dinner."
Heiya bustles out, her short arms struggling to hold the pot of rice and before Sakumo can step up to her, Kakashi is already there taking the pot from her hands and setting it on the table. It warms him that Kakashi is such a doting brother (albeit in his own way), for he had worried that adding another Hatake into their family would be a terrible choice.
He remembered the stories from his Genin days, with teammates who had siblings who would rather shank a kunai into their back than share the same room as them, or fight over the most trivial things. Kakashi, like with most things, had taken up the role of an older brother spectacularly.
"Thank you for the meal."
Heiya shoots her brother a smile, her eyes creasing into their own smiles. "Anything for you, nī-san."
(If there's anything, Sakumo loves his family the most.)
Vocabulary
Konomi (小実): Small, fruit/kindness
Chigusa (千種): Thousand, seed: technically meaning a great variety of flowering plants
Kaiyū-shiki-teien (池泉回遊式庭園): Promenade or stroll gardens (landscape gardens in the go-round style) appeared in Japan during the Edo Period, (1600–1854), at the villas of nobles or warlords. These gardens were designed to complement the houses in the new sukiya-zukuri style of architecture, which were modeled after the tea house. These gardens were meant to be seen by following a path clockwise around the lake from one carefully composed scene to another.
Takoyaki(たこ焼き or 蛸焼) or "octopus balls" is a ball-shaped Japanese snack or appetizer made of a wheat flour-based batter and cooked in a special molded pan. It is typically filled with minced or diced octopus (tako), tempura scraps (tenkasu), pickled ginger (beni shoga), and green onion (negi)
Temari (手まり)balls are a folk art form and Japanese craft, originating in China and introduced to Japan around the 7th century A.D."Temari" means "hand ball" in Japanese Balls made from embroidery may be used in handball games and other such similar games (like, i.e., hacky sack).
Genpuku (元服), a Japanese coming-of-age ceremony modeled after an early Tang Dynasty Chinese custom, dates back to Japan's classical Nara Period (710–794 AD).[1] This ceremony marked the transition from child to adult status and the assumption of adult responsibilities. The age of participation varied throughout history and depended on factors such as sex, political climate, and social status. Most participants were aristocratic children between the ages of 10 and 20.
Hey! I had much of the chapter done about a month ago, but I kind of got stuck here and there when writing at Sakumo's angle! Bet you didn't expect that, huh? Next chapter we will be going back to Heiya's POV and please note that she is an unreliable narrator! She's an old woman who woke up into her next life, but has a deep appreciation and care for family.
I wanted to finally explore more of the 'Hatake Clan' with Sakumo, and per some headcannon, I've firmly placed myself in the box that believes that most of the Hatake were killed in previous shinobi wars due to their terrifying efficiency of being shinobi so they were mass-targeted by other villages. Ill explore this more as we get deeper into Sandokai. Next chapter we will be seeing Heiya's experience with a proper Mind-Walk, along with some other drama and whatnot.
Thank you for all your kind reviews! I hope that you all enjoy this chapter!
M.B. Westover.