Author Note: Happy Thanksgiving! Yeah people were a bit upset on the last chapter left off, so hopefully, this one will shed some light. I think this may be my longest chapter of the story.
7:00 am taken place in the Royal Woods doctor's office. Having overdose on the pills, Lynn Sr. rushed Lincoln to the hospital. Lynn Sr. watched as the doctor performed the check up on Lincoln. The doctor went checking Lincoln's heart rate to testing his pulse and checking for signs of a concussion. Lincoln sat quietly with his deadpan face as the doctor did his checkup. After the final investigation in Lincoln's mouth, he concluded.
"Well Mr. Loud, despite the overdose, it seems like your son is fine. The only effects it left was slight headaches, stomach pain, and nausea, other than that no permanent damage." The doctor reported. "But to keep himself on his feet, I am prescribing safer antidepressants medications."
"Alright thank you." Lynn Sr. replied.
"Also for the sake of his depression, I would also recommend therapy." He continued as he wrote a prescription paper.
"We are still working on that. We're trying to find a good therapist."
The doctor looked at Lynn with a puzzled face. "Well then, I do recommend a certain someone." The doctor pulled out a card from his white coat.
"Dr. Yolanda Lopez." Lynn read on the card which brought questions to Lincoln and Lynn's mind. It could not be the same Dr. Lopez that Clyde mentioned.
"Yeah, her and I went to medical school together, if anyone can help your son, it's her. She's worked with children and married couples, one of her famous patients is the McBride family." So it was the Dr. Lopez the doctor was referring to as Lincoln and Lynn suspected as they mid-glance at each other. "Tell you what; I'll put in a good word for you, and she can schedule you an appointment as soon as possible. Tell her Dr. Fred Brownstein sent you. "
"That would be great, thank you." Lynn Sr. thanked the good doctor with a handshake. "Ready to go sport?"
Lincoln nodded silently.
A few hours later, Lincoln has dropped off at Ms. Dimartino's again. The substitute teacher stood at the from door waiting for Lincoln. It was another day of probational work ahead of him, hooray for him. With a sigh of hopelessness, Lincoln went inside. Lincoln did not even notice that his father went to talk to the substitute. Whatever the case, he just wanted to get the day over.
By the disinterested look on Lincoln's eyes, Ms. Dimartino knew Lincoln's day was anything but glorious. "So Lincoln how have you been?" Ms. Dimartino greeted happily.
"Fine, I guess." Trying to keep his composure, yet it showed half of his moodiness.
Ms. Dimartino remained confident. "Well then, let's see if we can turn that frown upside down, and on the bright side you have the weekend off next week."
"Yay." Lincoln cheered with little happiness which almost sounds like sarcasm.
The chore list was the same as usual. Ms. Dimartino assigned Lincoln yard work. Knowing that yard work was still his least favorite work, it only made Lincoln sigh louder. On the bright side, however, the lovely substitute had assured him that it was all he had to do today.
Armed with the gardening tools, gloves, and water bottle, Lincoln went to his job. He knew he was going to be in for a day of boringness and frustration. Within the rough dirt, he pulled the weeds and dead plants. With little time Ms. Dimartino had to her gardening, it only made his job much tricky, especially since the substitute did not have a lawnmower. Burning a lot of sweet, Lincoln fought against the weeds like they were enemies in a video game.
Face, chest, and shirt drenched with heavy sweat from work, or it could have been working in the sun for long. Coming across the final weed, Lincoln pulled the throne plant with both hands as if he was playing tug-a-war. He would hate to imagine if he was fighting a gopher. Lincoln bet Lana would jump at that opportunity to determine the real ruler of the dirt.
After that Lincoln's work finished, it was a great relief as he splashed water on his face. As Lincoln lied on the grass, the teacher appeared above him. "Well someone has been working hard today." Ms. Dimartino commented Lincoln's hard work as the backyard was weed free. She might even consider hiring Lincoln as her yard worker.
Ms. Dimartino did not spare anytime rewarding Lincoln's hard work with a cold beverage and a nice meal. With all the weeds Lincoln pulled, it was breathtaking to dead plants have been defeated. Also, Lincoln was starving as ate away at the food given to him.
"Since we still got time, we don't we do something together." Ms. Dimartino paid Lincoln a smile.
On the plain backyard concrete, Dimartino grabs two chalks. Lincoln did not know where she was going with this until she started doodling the ground. It only took a few minutes to draw a cat and the next few to construct a mouse. It was a picture in the most detailed way possible. Lincoln was impressed with Dimartino's artistic skills. "Now then Lincoln, I want you to take this chalk and draw whatever is on your mind, doesn't matter what it is." Ms. Dimartino instructed Lincoln. "Feel free to express yourself to relax your mind."
Lincoln was unsure as he grasps the chalk. He didn't know what purpose it was going to serve, let alone he questioned if he should even care. What difference was it going to make at this point? Still, there was no point in beating around the bush now. Like Dimartino, Lincoln started to doodle on his own. It began with a few scribbles, then formed into specific things.
Dimartino return only to have her eyes shocked over the outcome. From her analysis, it was a very detailed, structured, drawing of Lincoln's sisters on top of the mountain while Lincoln was at the very bottom. As described in dreams, the sisters were all successful, and he was not. Well, she did say draw anything that comes to mind, but she did not mean that literally. Now that her questions answered, it was clear that Lincoln's problem was worse than she thought. But like everyone else, she did want to help the poor boy.
In the meantime, the home was a no better place. With what the girls have witnessed, neither of them were in any mood to talk or associate with the mother. Lynn Sr. did not want to believe it until he saw it. Although Lynn would always support his wife's decisions, this was something he was not on the same page. However, unlike the girls, he did not think any less of his wife, even in the ugliest of fights. Rita was still in shock that Lincoln was bold enough to address his mother by her first name. Whether he meant it or not, Lynn Sr. and the girls could not blame Lincoln.
That day Rita lied in bed with her hand on her forehead as if she was sick as thinking about what happened the other day. Rita's outburst was enough to shake Lincoln as well as possibly vanquish her bound she has with him. Even if Rita did not strike Lincoln, but god forbid if it happened. She also knew the daughters had it on their minds. They started giving their mother the cold shoulder. Rita wanted to debate her next move but decided not to. The girls and Lynn felt she done enough damage.
"I thought I was doing the right thing." Rita dwelled in the bedroom as Lynn came inside.
"Rita, I'm sure Lincoln's is not angry at you." Lynn tried to cheer up his wife.
"He called me by my first name Lynn! I think that's obvious at this point. Maybe I need to step up my approach." Rita suggested, overthinking. "Maybe I can…"
Lynn Sr. stopped his wife from completing that sentence. "Look, I know you mean well but I think you should let me handle it," Lynn spoke in the calmest way to avoid any more conflict. "Please just leave it to me, I have a plan, let me try to salvage any relationship you have with him." Lynn Sr. begged holding his wife's hand.
"Do you think you can help Lincoln yourself?" Rita stared at Lynn with her nearly teary-eyed expression of uncertainty.
"Honestly I don't know honey, but I'm going to give a try for this family sake. First things first, Lincoln is going to see a therapist, Dr. Lopez."
"Lopez? The one Clyde talks about."
"Yep, the one and only."
The recess of summer school, Lincoln often sat by himself, since his friends were on vacation. With the way he was quiet and motionless, kids looked at the middle-child like he was socially awkward or a zombie. He watched as the kids played while he sat on the sidelines. Even now, Lincoln's mind was in another place. With the way his depression was, he was still unsure if he would ever share happiness again.
"Hey Lame-O, I been looking for you." Ronnie Anne approaches the aloof boy.
"Snickerdoodles?" Lincoln offered a bag of cookies.
"Thanks." Ronnie accepted a piece.
A moment of silence took the two of them for a few minutes. Judging from the blankness from Lincoln, he was apparently in no mood to talk, but hopefully, he was in a mood to listen. However as described by Bobby and Lori, Lincoln depression was worse than she thought. She didn't even know if her words were going to work on him, but never hurts to try.
"So how are you feeling Lincoln?" Ronnie asked.
"Fine, I guess, nothing to brag about," Lincoln answered sounding a bit moody more than usual. At this rate, Ronnie Anne trend carefully.
"Okay then."
"So do you normally get your kicks by messing with me every day, or just go after whoever suits you?"
Ronnie Anne was a bit insulted, but she resisted the urge to argue. That was the last thing she wanted at the moment. "Contrary to what you heard of me, I was not always the hardcore you view me as."
"Is that so?" Lincoln was curious.
"When my dad left, it put a hole in all of us, especially my mother. She took it upon herself to provide for her family. Each time Bobby and I would often ask about dad, she would say with a smile 'don't worry, your father will be home before you know it.' I know she was trying to be optimistic on the outside." Ronnie Anne explained. "Soon Bobby started working multiple jobs, despite mom's protest, but she let him so long as he kept up with his schoolwork."
"What happened then?"
"Those days being by myself gave me the freedom to do whatever I want, but I guess you can say I started abusing that opportunity until I got bullied. Eventually, I turned the tides, but not for the better." Ronnie Anne held her head down.
Lincoln raise a curious eyebrow, but already knew what she was saying.
"When I witnessed how much of a strain, it was putting on my mom of all her hard work and barely any home time, that is how much I knew it was meaningless. So I took it upon myself to also help in any way I can."
"I don't get it, Ronnie Anne, why are you so aggressive at school, yet you're a sweetheart at home?"
"I don't know alright. I guess I just loved my reputation as the toughest girl gets to me. That way, no one would dare mess with me, not even you."
Lincoln turn his head away from his former bully. With a look a feeling of sorrow, Ronnie looked at Lincoln. "Look Lincoln, I don't expect my story to buy your sympathy, nor try to justify my actions, but I do care how you view me. I do want to help."
Lincoln sat up from the bench. "Well with much that has happened, the jury is still out. But one thing is certain; I do not hate you." The former bully watch as the middle-child walked away. It brought an air of relief to know that Lincoln did not despise her. Now she was hoping she can do her part.
Through the waiting room, Lincoln sat in the seats with his father, kicking his feet up and down, not knowing what to feel to see a therapist. He watched as business suits, janitors, and secretaries roam the building.
Thanks to Dr. Brownstein's official recommendation, they were able to get an early appointment. With all the rants that Clyde had said about Dr. Lopez, even he was wondering what was so special about this therapist. Lincoln knew he was not crazy, yet he knew he had problems. At the very least, he was not in Lunatic Asylum.
Sensing Lincoln's negativity sweat, Lynn asked, "You nervous sport?"
"Kinda," Lincoln held his head down. "It's just that, I've always considered myself the sane and headstrong one of the family, and now; I can't believe it has to come to this. Does this mean I'm a failure?"
"No, it means your mother and I are the failures because we did not do a good job of fixing the problem." Lynn Sr. replied. "So to avoid any more conflict, we figured you needed to see a therapist because we are all worried about you buddy."
"Dr. Lopez will be with you in a minute." One the receptionist informed Lincoln.
Venturing into upstairs of the office building, he caught by the doctor's voice. Though the close door, it sounded like she was annoyed much less irritated. The first thought was a sibling quarrel or a couple of disputes. The second thought was a call from her boss or employee. But it was soon answered as he heard Clyde's name. For the most part, it was understandable why she would be annoyed.
Peeking his head through the cracked door, Lincoln got a glance of the female therapist. Dr. Lopez was on the phone as she looked at the bright window. When Dr. Lopez turned her chair, it was as Clyde had described, a Hispanic woman with, brown shoes, a green overcoat, minus the scarf due to the summer weather. When her sunken eyes caught the white-haired child, she signaled him to come in.
"Look, Clyde, I'm with a patient right now, so please call me back later." She concluded, hanging up the phone. "And please do not call me off work hours."
"Dr. Lopez, I presume?" Lincoln inquired.
"Indeed. So you know who I am." The doctor got out of her desk, sipping her coffee.
"My best friend Clyde told me all about you," Lincoln replied.
"Ah yes, Clyde McBride, one of my number one patient." Dr. Lopez answered in an unconformable tone. The doctor could not list all the times getting annoyed with Clyde on a daily basis. With all the times Clyde had mention Lincoln, she only prayed he was not as unstable as he was. "Please take a seat."
"Okay."
With a Notepad in hand, she waited for Lincoln to get comfortable on the recliner. Dr. Lopez got a pen as she held a professional face. The professional took a seat in her office chair next to Lincoln. She got comfortable as she crossed her legs. "Don't feel nervous Lincoln, we are just here to talk, everything in this room stays confidential. Now then why don't you tell me what is on your mind? From what I heard from Clyde, seems like you have been going through an intense depression."
"A lot of things lately." Lincoln lied down staring at the ceiling.
"Like…" Lopez raises a curious eyebrow.
"Everything from my sister's achievements and the constant nightmares."
"Why don't you tell me about these nightmares?" Lopez said writing in her notepad.
"It is dreaming where my sister's much more than what they already have and I become nothing," Lincoln explained as the thought still made him sore inside. "It's like where they climb to the top of the building for every victory, while I'm always at the bottom."
"Hum, I see." The Doctor hummed. "And how do you describe yourself at the bottom?"
"In these dreams I had, all my sister's have successful careers while I'm just a worthless homeless person on the streets."
Dr. Lopez eyes widen with shock. "And how long have these dreams been going on?" Dr. Lopez pressed on.
"I'd say more than a few weeks, maybe close to a month."
"Please continue," Lopez told the boy, starting to feel sympathy.
Lincoln nodded. "Each of my sisters has something special, and they have trophies to show for it." Dr. Lopez took a mid-glance issuing Lincoln to continue. "There a trophy case at home where everyone has their trophies and achievements. Each section of the case is named after all of them us. Lori just acquired her golfing trophy. Leni's fashion is easily recognizable. Luna has her music talent, Luan has her comedy act, Lynn is an athlete, Lucy has her poems, Lola is a Pageant Princess, Lana got both plumbing and mechanical skills, and Lisa is a well-known scientist for her age, even Lily got a trophy, and she's a baby. However, Lincoln Loud has no achievement whatsoever. I watch every day as my side collects nothing but dust and spider webs."
"Have you ever attempted to win a trophy?"
"Several times, but it only failed," Lincoln remembered. "There was this one time during a video contest at school; I recorded secretly of my sister's embarrassing moments in hopes that I would win the contest. But needless to say, my actions had painful consequences." Lincoln recalled the time where all of his sister's slam the door in his face. He could still remember the hateful looks on their faces. "I made it up to them by embarrassing myself to get the heat off my sister's. It took more than three weeks before the teasing stop. It was a big price to pay, but at least I was back on good graces with my sisters. They even gave me a trophy even if it was nothing major."
Dr. Lopez took off her glasses and wiped them off. She took a quick breathe to try to get her thoughts together. From what Clyde has told her, Lincoln was complex. It was not horrifying, but she could say that Lincoln had his fair share of hardship.
"Then weeks ago, I tried to do the same thing they did only to fall flat on my face."
The doctor was starting to paint a clear picture as she wrote on her notepad. "Hmph...I see...so you are questioning your purpose. And you feel like you have been standing in the shadow of your sisters?" The doctor observed.
"Sorry, it must be a lot for you to take in."
"Don't be so melodramatic Lincoln; you are not the first case I had with this problem. This kind of struggle with inferiority is common among big families. One's insecurities can cause envy and even manifest into jealousy." Dr. Lopez explained. "How do you think most villains driven in media?" Dr. Lopez sat up from her chair.
As Lincoln took in the advice, he recalled the time where he yelled at his sister's. At that point, it was clear that Lincoln's jealousy had taken over. Lincoln's pride and envy lead him to try to imitate his sisters, only to have unfortunate results. With his parents praise to his sisters, he was willing to do what it takes to receive that same praise. The more he thought, the more it hurts inside.
"Well, I think it was pretty noble of you to save your sisters from further humiliation, even if I do think it is a bit extreme. It just shows how much you love and support your sisters."
Lincoln sat up as he twiddles his thumbs. "It is true; I have always supported my sister's passions and ambitious. I supported them so long that I never thought about my own. Am I selfish?"
Dr. Lopez shook her head. "I think you're confusing the two Lincoln. You're more selfless than you realize. One can only go so far in just cheering from the sidelines, trust me I know. I've also had my share of inferiority."
Dr. Lopez wiped off her glasses and proceeded to the next subject. "Now to the topic of homeless people, not all homeless situations are caused by unfilled goals. Many things can cause them."
"Like what?"
"Well, one of the number one reasons for homelessness is unemployment. There is also a problem with addiction, lack of proper health care, runaways and much more." Dr. Lopez wrote notes. "So if I got this correct, the dreams you describe is you as a homeless while your sisters are successful. How are your dreams?"
"Yeah, it's just me and the streets. From each dream, I hope for something good, only to get something worst. From getting mugged, beaten up, shove away and suffering feeble health to the point that where I'm coughing up blood."
To say that the doctor was visibly shocked would be an understatement. Lincoln was not even a legal adult and yet he was experiencing some scary adult stuff. Heaven knows she has experienced some very complicated cases of homeless underage children. If any, this had to be an adult's number one fear especially with children. As she thought, the depression was worse as she imagined.
"So I see," Dr. Lopez cleared her throat. "Well Lincoln, it would seem that this inferiority you have with your sisters has manifested itself into a depression. Let me tell you there are many scary sides to depression and if not handled right the results could be catastrophic."
Lincoln knew that for sure as he held his head down. "I just don't know what to do anymore."
Dr. Lopez rose from her seat. She kneed down to Lincoln's level. "All I can suggest is patience Lincoln. It takes time for one's potential to truly form whether your a child or adult." Dr. Lopez smiled. "Right now you're at that difficult age of uncertainty, but you should focus on what you're capable of, not your sisters. And who knows, it might be closer than you think."
"Do you think I'll be able to find it?" Lincoln looked the doctor directly.
"Only time will tell, but the worst thing you can ever do is give up on yourself. Everyone has a purpose in life. Do you understand?"
"I suppose," he replied rubbing the back of his head. "Thank you, Dr. Lopez." Lincoln was on his way to the door.
"Oh and Lincoln."
"Yes Dr. Lopez," Lincoln turned his head in reply.
"My doors are always open if you feel the need to chat again." Dr. Lopez smiled at the boy. "Stay strong not only for yourself but your family sake." The doctor waved to the boy. Outside the office, she saw the patriarch meeting up with his son. She issued him to come in.
Lynn Sr. entered the office. "So how did his session go Dr. Lopez?"
"Pretty well Mr. Loud. Similar to other cases, it's not as complicated as I thought." Dr. Lopez answered back. "Also, if I may offer my un-bias opinion? Perhaps, you and your wife should not spend so much time praising your daughters."
"What do you mean?" Lynn asked.
"Look I'm not saying you should not feel proud of your one of your kid's achievements, but at the same time, you should also consider how it reflects you're other kid's who has nothing to show for it. With the amount of praise and attention, jealousy will not be the worst thing to come to families." The doctor stated.
"I see what you mean." Lynn blinked twice. He took the time to think about it. He could not count all the times where the Loud children would fight, and not just for contest purposes. "I'm happy for all my kids, and no matter what we never play favorites."
"True, but not all children will see it that way. Your son is most affected to the point where he's lost, and you need to reassure him that he is not."
"I'll keep that in mind, thank you," Lynn said. "By the way, am I going to have to worry about them…" Lynn paused rubbing his thumb and long finger. Dr. Lopez could tell what he was saying.
Dr. Lopez shook her head. "Do not concern yourself with stuff like that." Right now your son needs you."
Summer School day had come to an end as the bell ring. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne walk out of school together. Throughout the day, they continued to talk more. No pranks or insults were even present nor mention though the conversation. It was just a normal one between two kids. Thir talk came to a halt as a familiar van pulled up into the school driveway. Lincoln recognize the horn, yet it was not Vanzilla. It was the new minivan Lynn Sr. once had known as Veronica. Already, this display had Lincoln scratching his head with questions as Ronnie Anne was the same. The windows opened revealing the male parent.
"Hey there sport, ready for an exciting day ahead of us?" Lynn Sr. greeted his son.
Lincoln inquired, "Dad is that Veronica?"
"Yep, I rented her for the weekend we got planned, just the two of us." Lynn Sr. answered.
"Us?"
"You got it buddy, just me, you and the great outdoors. I already got your stuff packed in the back."
Lynn Sr. glance at Lincoln's direction to see the Hispanic girl right beside him. "And you must be Ronnie Anne Santiago; my daughters have told me all about you. How are you today?"
"I'm fine Mr. Loud, thanks." Ronnie Anne replied. "I'll see you later Lincoln." Ronnie Anne wave to Lincoln and Lincoln waved back.
"She's quite a catch son, already getting a girlfriend at a young age." Lynn Sr. winked and nudged Lincoln.
Lincoln stepped inside the van, "Dad, she's not my girlfriend."
Lynn Sr. laughed a bit. "I'm just messing with your kiddo. Like any other girl, she has her thrones, but I'm sure she's a good person inside, even if she does not show it at times. You should invite her to dinner sometime."
"Switching gears, are we going on a camping trip together?"
"Yep, just a father and son time, something to take a break from all that you have been going. I felt bad about you missing our family trips to Dairyland and the beach."
Before Lincoln could open his mouth, Lynn interjected. "Don't worry I talked it over with your mother. I'm not going to try to force things upon you. For now, it's just all about us son."
It was an hour drive as Lynn Sr. made it to Royal Woods campsite. They were miles away from the town. The father inhales the surrounding nature air environment. Like Grand Venture State Park, an area filled with massive mountains, lakes that stretched miles long, significant picnic areas, and more than a line of trees around the wilderness. As Lincoln helped his father unpack the van, it brought back memories. It was the same campsite that Lincoln had tended to his sisters every whim after their debate war. The more he thought about it, the more he started to regret it and thus missing out on his good time. Nevertheless, so long as his sisters were happy, it was worth it. Then there was a time where he let his goth sister predictions dictate his actions, forcing him into hiding from possible dangers.
Thank goodness, it was just him and his old man. He did not want to go through that hardship again even he deserved it. With ease, Lincoln assisted Lynn Sr. in setting up camp from the tents to sorting out refreshments and camp tools. Since it was just the two of them in nature, Lynn also confiscated Lincoln's phone and his own. Like every camper, he wanted to do it old school. Lincoln was still unsure of the purpose but followed along. After the final preparations, Lynn handed Lincoln a fisher pole.
"Come on son, let's catch us some fish." Lynn offered.
Lincoln silently nodded.
The day started with fishing as they cast their rods. Now it was time for the waiting game. Lynn Sr. made sure to stack up on bait, since Lana was known for eating the bait, sometimes more than a few can full. It was a good thing for him that she was not around. With not much on the mind, Lincoln stare blankly at the lake. Lynn could not tell if he was starting to get emotionless or Lincoln was not feeling the camp spirit. Either way, the father's mind debated different things to try to ease the tension between Lincoln and Rita. He did not want to say the wrong things to make Lincoln feel worse about his condition. For now, he just started small.
"So how are you feeling kiddo?" Lynn Sr. begin the conversation, but realize it may have been wrong as he covered his mouth. With what has happened the other day, it was probably not the best starter.
"Well, I could be worse," Lincoln said with deadpan in his voice.
Lynn Sr. decided to try something new. "You know my dad took me to this very same campsite when I was feeling down. Yes sir, it sure brings back old memories." Lynn had reminisced. "It has not changed one bit."
"It is beautiful I guess," Lincoln responded.
Well, at least Lincoln was starting to talk again as Lynn thought. Now he was about to trend in unpleasant territories. He only hopes that it would not crush the relationship he had with his son. Lynn Sr. took a deep sigh and began. "You know Lincoln, while I do understand your mother's concern, at the same time, I do not agree with her methods of doing these things."
Just the subject alone was able to make Lincoln scowl. By the angry look on his face, he had no regret addressing his mother by her first name.
"Lincoln, your mother…" Lynn Sr. stammered. "It's not that your mother is always picking on you because she can, it's the fact that she had dealt with a loss of someone in the past."
Lincoln looked at his father with a questioning glance. "She did?"
"Yeah, she once had a sibling that dealt with depression, but unfortunately was unable to save." Lynn Sr. told Lincoln. "It was her little brother Mitchell." Lynn Sr. presented a photo of a blond guy right beside Rita. By his happy smile, surfer-like haircut, and both ears pierced, he seems like one of those cool kids.
"I did not know mom had a brother." Lincoln looked at the photo.
"Yeah, her brother was the bright and ambitious guy always in pursuit of the next goal. He was a star jock since high school, always showing off and loving it, while Rita always supported him." Lynn had narrated. "Those two were just as integral as the heroes in your Ace Savvy comics. So long as he had his lifelong goals and his position in the team, he was happy. It was during a match with a college team that his dreams were cut short, by an unfortunate accident. Still, he remained positive that it would heal only to receive that bad news that he would not play again. When that news hit him, Mitchell's life begins to crumble. Rita, Albert, and Aunt Ruth tried so hard to help him even if he claimed he didn't need it. Then years later, the unfortunate happened."
"You mean?"
"Yeah, Mitchell committed suicide. He hung himself in his apartment. It was one of the fewest times in Rita's life that she witnessed a dead body. She blamed herself for not being able to help him, and that was when she was pregnant with Lori. It's just a shame that you guys never met your late uncle."
Lincoln jaw dropped with shock and disbelief. He did not even know what to say to that story.
"Yeah sure it does not justify Rita's actions, but at least you do understand it. You did not once succumb to the feeling of ending yourself Lincoln, and I am proud of you for that." Lynn Sr. said.
Lincoln was not sure. "Yeah well actually, the thought did come to mine."
Lynn Sr. was horrified by Lincoln's confession but was not too surprised. The old man felt his heart race for a bit. Deep inside, he felt Rita's worry. He was very thankful that Lincoln did not think try to attempt it as often. Heaven knows that he would lose it if Lincoln had fell victim to suicide. Lincoln did not need any more pressure from Rita.
"Well, I'm just glad, you were strong enough to conquer it, pills or no pills. It shows how much willpower you have in you." Lynn Sr. said with relief in his breath, trying to be as calm as any parent could with that news. Lynn Sr. slowly wrap his arm around his son's shoulder.
"Willpower?" Lincoln looked at his father with a question.
"Yeah son, it is the strength to endure a situation no matter how harsh it may be. That is something you have that the girls don't. Believe it or not, your sisters do look to you for that strength. Stopping yourself from committing suicide is not easy for kids. And it's even more complicated for adults." Lynn told Lincoln.
"You know sometimes I question if my future is set in stone as I imagine?" Lincoln asked, reflecting upon his dreams.
"I want you to succeed in life too Lincoln, but you're still young, so you have plenty of years to go." Lynn Sr. said holding Lincoln close to him.
The next day, Lincoln and Lynn spent more time in the wilderness. Lynn took Lincoln on a hiking trip. When Lincoln passed a river, he caught a glance at his reflection as it transformed into his future self. It was only for a brief moment as he shook his head hard. As Dr. Lopez stated, it was all in his head. Even if Lincoln's facial expressions did not change, he was glad that Lincoln was interacting with him. Lynn could not remember the last time he ever had time alone with his son. The father mostly bounded with his daughters. Maybe it was the fact that they had little in common, but it did not stop him from trying to bond with him. Whatever it took to try to put Lincoln's mind at ease, free from stress and worry.
Throughout the trips, Lynn had told Lincoln about the Loud Family fare share of sibling rivalries, and he was not just talking about Lori and Leni, or Lola and Lana. What he said about the time one year ago was Luna, and Luan sibling rivalry had gotten the better of them. It was during a talent show where they had the worst of it. It became from a friendly competition to a cutthroat one. It even had escalated to a fight between them. Both of them were not only disqualified but also grounded by the parents. And this was before the Sister Fight Protocol. Lincoln thought Luan tended to be jealous but never thought it would be this bad.
He also told Lincoln about a time where Lynn had rotated between jobs, not only to provide for his family but to find what he wanted to pursue. There were jobs he liked, jobs he hated, jobs failed to do, and the positions he endured for the sake of his growing family. Rita had even done the same, since being a Crossing Guard was not her first line of work. She did other stuff even when she was pregnant. Like many, Rita was also unsure of her plans in life. But as time went on, she eventually found it.
It was as Dr. Lopez had stated, only time and patients can tell a person ever truly blossom. The worst a person could ever do is to give up and not try.
It was a late evening as Lynn and Lincoln got back to came sight. With the amount of fish they caught, they were in for a good dinner. However, Lynn was not planning on making something ordinary with the fish. He was doing something different as he prepared his knife, cutting board, vinegar, cucumber and a large bowl of cooked rice.
"Dad! I did not know you knew how to make Sushi." Lincoln was surprised.
"Yep, in one of my jobs, I studied with a sushi chef. He was strict but meant well. Unlike my Lasagna, sushi is more complex." Lynn Sr. kneed down a suddenly whispered. "But do me a favor and don't tell your sisters about this, you know how overly-excited that get."
Before Lincoln could question more, the session was interrupted by an incoming projectile. Lincoln was stricken by a football, causing to land face-first into the river. The patriarch rush to Lincoln's aid, seeing if there were any injuries. There was none, just mouthful of salt water that Lincoln accidentally drank. And Lincoln thought getting hit by Lynn Jr.'s football was painful.
A voice called out to Lincoln and Lynn, "Oh man, I'm so sorry about that." The two people were a tall African American man and his son. The man approach Lincoln. "You okay little man?"
"I think so," Lincoln said rubbing the pain from the back of his head.
"Hey sorry about that, I guess my son does not know his strength at times." The man apologizes again.
"There is no harm done, are you hurt son?" Lynn Sr. replied.
Lincoln shook his head.
"Quincy, didn't I tell you not to throw it too far." The man scolded his son. "Now apologize to the man."
The African American boy was around Lincoln's age, but a year younger. "I'm sorry mister." The son said to Lynn Sr.
"Don't worry about it; it's fine. I get a lot of football attacks from my sportsaholic daughter." Lynn Sr. accepted being polite.
"She seems competitive." The man said, helping out Lynn with his stuff.
"Oh, you don't know the half of it."
The man offered a handshake. "My name is Quentin Marks, and that's my son Quincy."
"Lynn Loud Sr." Lynn introduced back accepting his handshake.
While the evening was still present, Lincoln occupied the lake with a new companion. Quincy also kept Lincoln company fishing. Like Lincoln, Quincy was also an Ace Savvy lover. In most cases, Lincoln would waste no time with discussions of Ace Savvy related, but even that was not enough to sway Lincoln into a smile. Lincoln mostly just listened while Quincy talks most of the day. In the meantime, the two grown men focused on supper. With Lynn's instructions, Quentin followed the recipes. The tall man watched as the boys barely interacted with one another.
"So your spending time with your son too?" Quentin inquired.
"Yep, Lincoln and I hardly spend time with each other; I figured I use this opportunity to do so."
"You know your son there does not seem like he's having the time of his life." Quentin noticed.
"Lincoln usually not anti-social, he's just been depressed lately." Lynn Sr. eyes lowered to the ground. Quentin looked with a curious glance. "He's at a difficult time where he's questioning his worth when all his sisters have something to define them. And because of that, he feels that he will end up in a hopeless situation."
"Isn't he a bit dramatic, I mean he's still a kid?" Quentin inquires curiously.
"Yeah that's what I thought too, but he's been having recurring dreams of that homeless situation."
"I see what you mean. Man, those times we grew up were pretty difficult back then. You had to be one of the fortunate ones to have a job. Otherwise, if you had a record, it would make it even more difficult." Quentin opened a soda can. "Yeah I struggled for a while, but I was able to make it through."
"I hear that." Lynn related. Suddenly, Lynn finished the final preparations.
"I had a job for a while but as life goes not all good things don't last. So here I am unemployed while my wife is bringing home the bacon."
"Then why doesn't she bring on the ham instead?" Lynn joked a bit as Quinton found himself unamused.
Lynn cleared his throat, "It's chow time Lincoln!" Lynn called out. "Why don't you have some too, I made plenty." Lynn offered the guest.
Quentin smiled. "Awesome, thanks a lot."
On the final day, Lincoln and Lynn Sr. packed up their equipment. Lynn Sr. was almost going to miss the great outdoors; he only wishes he could say the same for Lincoln. Once again, Lincoln stayed quiet through most of the trip. He did not speak unless spoken. With how quiet Lincoln was, Lynn Sr. was starting to question if his methods work or made things worse? The last thing he wanted to do is be like his wife.
"You okay there son?" Lynn asked with a hand on Lincoln's shoulder.
"I'm fine, can't complain," Lincoln said in a normal response minus the smile. There was not one shred of moodiness in his tone. "I had a good time dad, thanks." Lincoln gave Lynn Sr. a mid-smile. It was not as bright as Luan, but he'd take that as a victory.
It made the patriarch happy inside that his son was delighted.
As next Saturday came, Lincoln stopped over his substitute teachers house. Putting on his best yard clothes, he prepared for another dreary day of work. However, to his surprise, Ms. Dimartino did not have a day of work. She pulled Lincoln's arm leading him to the backyard. There he saw the different colored chalks lying on the concrete ground.
"Today we're going to do something different Lincoln. Something to help you ease your mind."
"What, you want me to graffiti your floor?" Lincoln said with sarcasm.
Ms. Dimartino chuckle. "No silly, I want you to draw. I want you to draw whatever comes up into your mind."
"Gee I don't know." Lincoln lowered his eyes still unsure.
Ms. Dimartino sat next to Lincoln. "I know it's hard Lincoln to find that passion. But we all gotta start somewhere. You never know unless you try, no matter how much you fall."
Lincoln looked at Ms. Dimartino offering him chalk. Ms. Dimartino paid Lincoln a hopeful smile as tilted her head. Even if the confidence was not there, Lincoln stepped up. He grasped the chalk and begun drawing as his mind had expressed — one step at a time as he thought while doodling on the ground.