A/N: Full disclaimer that I have not seen Yashahime yet (dub or sub) and I'm really not in any hurry to, but a gifset that I came across yesterday sparked this...and when you're already in a low point mentally you need something to funnel the depression energy into.
I thought that…since we're cousins…that I could try and get along with them. Like how relatives in a family are supposed to. Maybe…maybe I was wrong. Maybe family isn't as great as I thought it could be.
And here I was thinking that I had finally made some friends…
Moroha dropped down onto the grass with no thought for her backside. She didn't really care. What did it matter if she bruised herself? There was no one to care for her well being but her.
Her cousins damn sure didn't.
They had each other, whether Setsuna wanted to own up to that or not. They were sisters, and even Moroha could tell that there was a deeper bond that couldn't be broken, no matter that they'd been separated for so long.
She didn't have that, had never had that, so was it really too much to ask that they try to let her into their circle they had formed? They were cousins by blood. Possibly distant blood, but she was positive that they were supposed to be family. It's not like she was some beggar child tagging along for scraps, but…in a way, she was.
She was alone. An only child. In debt that was likely taller than her with only the clothes on her back and the few items she carried. Unlike Setsuna and Towa, she didn't have a place where she could return home to at the end of the day and be welcomed.
Setsuna – Setsuna could care less, and Moroha expected that. A half demon that worked as a demon slayer. She had issues on her own, but at least Moroha had been able to read her to an extent. Towa on the other hand… Towa was the one that hurt. Towa had let them into her home in the future. Her adopted family had welcomed her readily, let her eat their food. She got to take a hot bath for the first time. With how Towa had acted and treated her upon their first meeting, she thought that of the two, she'd be the most accepting.
She never counted on Towa being the one that wanted to exploit her hard work.
Each bounty that she collected on, each coin that Moroha could earn was stashed away to cover her debts. For someone her age it was a pretty responsible thing to do. Towa apparently didn't see it that way. Towa wanted to use the earnings to buy supplies, or to rent lodging that the quarter demon felt was overpriced for the amenities they were offering. Because somewhere along the lone, Moroha's money became theirs, like some sort of communal funding.
Because they were family.
Moroha frowned, reaching down next to her and ripping up the grass. Yeah. They were family alright. Family that takes the earnings from your latest bounty for frivolous reasons – not that they helped in the collection of said bounty – all to ditch you in your sleep to go chasing after a rumor.
The more the memory replayed itself in her mind, the faster she'd rip those blades of grass up. A nice pile had formed on either side of her hips, and now she was scooping dirt, running it up deep under her claws.
Oh well. At least she wasn't crying
She would not cry over being ditched. She wouldn't. It would only give them the satisfaction that they'd hurt her. Provided that they even gave her a second thought, which at this point she was sure they didn't. At least, not until they needed something from her.
If it had been anyone else that she'd been traveling with – a laughable thought that anyone would want her company – waking up to an empty room in the inn wouldn't have bothered her. But this was family that had run off, leaving her to pay the outstanding balance out of her hard earned money. It was family that had told the innkeeper to tell her that they had gone ahead. It was family that couldn't be bothered to wake her up to inform her, much less wait on her like she was an equal.
There must have been a flicker of her façade dropping when the innkeeper told her, because the older man was more sympathetic than she expected. Was she that pathetic?
It was fine.
Moroha managed to dig out a rock from the soil and rolled it in her hands.
If they wanted to cut and run on her, then fine.
She pulled back and let the rock fly through the air, watching it ultimately become impaled in the trunk of a tree downhill.
She was going to be just…fine.
It's not like she hadn't been on her own for as long as she could remember.
A sniffle escaped at that reminder, and Moroha grit her teeth in irritation. She was not going to break. Not over this. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction. She had dealt with worse before she ever crossed paths with her cousins. She was fine.
Deep down, Moroha knew that she wasn't.
Some nights, like this one, she'd think about her parents. All that she had been told when she first posed the question to Hachi was that they had given her up as a baby for a reason. At face value, she took it to mean that there would come a time when she would see them again. As the years continued to grow with her, the thoughts of their return grew less and less likely.
She didn't know their names or what they looked like, only that her father was a half demon and her mother had strong spiritual energy. She didn't know if she looked like either of them. Didn't know if she had any of their mannerisms. No one she had encountered had thought to tell her these things. The most she had was an enchanted rouge, and may the gods save the person that ever tried to take that from her. It was her only link to her parents, and carrying it close to her heart was the closest she figured she'd ever get to a hug from them.
It's when her thoughts were like this that she wondered if she'd ever run across anyone that had known her parents and would be willing to tell her stories. If they could tell her if her parents were even still around, and if they were, were they searching for her? Or had they given up? Did they have another child to replace her? Why did they give her up? Was something bad about to happen? Did they not…want her? Was she not good enough?
A lone tear rolled down her cheek, and Moroha quickly swiped at it with a dirty hand, smearing soil on her cheek. She didn't care.
Dirt never hurt anything in her experience, but family did.
"How could I be so stupid?" she mumbled into the night. The only thing that kept her from really comparing what Setsuna and Towa had done to her from what her parents had was the tiniest hope that her parents hadn't made the decision lightly. There was still that small glimmer of hope that they were still around somewhere, waiting for the moment when they could be together again. The twins? She wasn't so sure about them anymore.
She wanted to believe that her cousins were different than their most recent actions, but…it was hard. Not having anyone to talk to about these feelings of doubt left her stewing in them. Made them linger and niggle at her thoughts when she was alone and the nights were quiet.
She had to be strong. Her parents would want her to be strong, or she liked to think that they would. To work hard, to be helpful, but also to not take crap from anyone. So that was what she was going to do.
Moroha used the back of her hand to knock off as much dirt as she could from her cheek before using her claws as makeshift files and cleaning them. It was going to have to do until she could get to a stream to properly clean them, but an attempt at cleanliness was better than nothing. She stood up, brushing the dirt and grass from her clothes, surveying the landscape.
There was a worn road that led into the next town, possibly where the twins had run off to. It wouldn't be a long walk. On the other hand, if she followed the road the other way, it would lead to another town over. They had left early in the morning and by the time she had gotten out to the main road, their scent was so faded it was hard to determine what direction they had gone. Moroha had gone in circles looking for a trace of them, only to come up to this hill empty handed and feeling horribly rejected.
Well no more.
If they wanted her presence, they'd have to come find her. She wasn't going to be the tagalong that got ditched anymore.
Moroha jogged down the hill and turned toward the longer path at a steady pace. Who knew what could be waiting at this town when she arrived. Could be the twins, could be an opportunity to pad her drawstring bag for her debt. Either way, she was going of her own accord. If they happened to cross paths…well, she'd figure that out when and if it happened. Right now she was too hurt to be nice, so if they wanted space, all the better.