CHAPTER 11: YOURS IS THE EARTH

"If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And – which is more – you'll be a Man, my son!"
(If, Rudyard Kipling)

When she wakes, she does not register what is so strange about seeing the picturesque, painting ceiling of the guest room she slept in the night before. Yes, she still thinks about how strange it is that she is here, in Sesshomaru's castle, a welcomed guest. She'd be less surprised if she awoke in the dungeons, or tossed out on her ass in the dirt. So when she wakes, there's nothing strange besides the obvious for a long moment.

Then, in pieces, in bursts, the evening before comes rushing back into the forefront of her mind.

The office. The paperwork. The yelling. The frantic running through an empty mansion. The maze – being lost and attacked and alone and so, so cold. There's a swell in her of righteous anger as she remembers the moments that led her to flee, but then, as she thinks, she remembers more.

She remembers a soft touch and being lifted. She remembers warmth as she's carried away from the labyrinthine pathways of that Minos-eqsue maze. She remembers the smell of wood and copper and dust, heavy in her nose. And then being lowered into bed, being covered with a blanket. A softly murmured phrase in a deep and surprised voice echoing in her ears as she at last slipped off to sleep.

Kagome sits up, blinking uncertainly, her thoughts a whirlwind. Did Sesshomaru carry me to bed? Her mind stutters and skips at the thought, as crazy as it is. She's lying in the evidence that what she remembers must be the truth and not some insane Stockholm Syndrome dream her exhausted mind had churned up. But it is so at odds with everything she would have assumed, until this moment, to be the truth. She knows that he cares for Rin. But to think that he could… Well, she didn't really know. He couldn't care for her, he barely knew her.

But, perhaps, what Inuyasha had always seen as coldness, was just loneliness. Kagome had known people in school who wanted desperately to be friends with others, but didn't have the social skills to articulate those thoughts into words and actions. So they came off cold or mean or antisocial. Maybe Sesshomaru was like them? It wouldn't be the first time someone was too prim and proper to come off the right way to others.

It was also entirely possible that he was an actual asshole and just liked Rin specifically for some reason. But that didn't explain why she was here in bed and not outside and dead of exposure.

Well, there was no use dwelling on it, better to just get up and face the day. Her mother's voice in her head told her she should probably apologize for running from the house like a crazy person and rushing through the yard like a demented rabbit. Her own head was telling her that she'd only done that because Sesshomaru had scared the living daylights out of her over some stupid paperwork, but he had come and rescued her, so she supposed it was only fair to call them even.

She stepped gingerly out of bed, her muscles protesting every step of the way. Seizing up in the cold and damp of the night before and them falling into a heavy and unmoving sleep for a few hours sure didn't do her any favors. But she manages to dress herself in a clean uniform, manages to untangle the rat's nest of dirt and leaves that is her hair, chews on a handful of toothpaste tablets that have been lifesavers here in the Feudal Era, and ventures out into the hall.

There's a brief internal debate as to whether or not she should call out to find where everyone is, but a part of her thinks that would be weird. So she just wanders from room to room, steadfastly ignoring the West Wing this time, looking for Rin or Sesshomaru, unsure as to whether or not she wants to find either of them. She adores little Rin, but she isn't sure what she will say to Sesshomaru when she sees him again. And that makes her stomach clench with the same feeling she got in middle school when she had to give a speech in front of the entire school on her family's shrine. At least then she could just close her eyes and word vomit everything up and then be frog-marched off stage when she froze in panic. Now she'd have to –

"Kagome!"

There's a sudden shock of being barreled into at waist height that happens in the split second that her mind wanders when she walks into the next room. Her brain recognizes Rin's ecstatic voice, so her arms are automatically reaching out to hold her by the shoulders as the girl hugs her.

It's a very good thing her body reacts on auto-pilot, because at the moment of impact, Kagome's eyes had flared open in shock, meeting the gaze of Sesshomaru across the room, and her thoughts sputtered out like a candle in the wind.

He had, apparently, been flipping through a sheaf of papers while Rin played at his feet. At Rin's sudden shout, it appeared he'd half-risen from the chair he was seated in, papers drifting slowly to the floor like leaves as the fell from his abruptly lax fingers. His singular golden eye is pinned with hers and it's the first time Kagome can remember ever seeing him so speechless. He's like a bird paused moments before flight, just waiting for her to speak before he makes a fight or flight decision.

It's the one thing that steadies her resolve, and makes her say as brightly as she can, "Good morning, everyone!" Some of the tension visibly unwinds from his body and, though she pretends not to notice, she can see from the corner of her eye as he slowly sits back down the moment she glances down to ruffle Rin's hair. Rin, happy and content with the knowledge that Kagome is safe and well, skips back to her toys and resumes her game. Kagome, moving forward more hesitantly, perches lightly on the chair nearest to Sesshomaru. His shoulders are a rigid line, his eye unmoving on the paper he is holding in his hand. She waits until Rin is absorbed in her game of demons versus humans. "Thank you," she says softly. When he glances up at her, she cannot read the expression on his face, hard to read before, but nearly impossible now. She plunges forward. "For coming and rescuing me, for bringing me back here." She shrugs helplessly. "Thank you."

He's silent for a long moment and then, only because she is staring at him does she notice the softening at the corner of his eyes, the lowering of his shoulders, the way his head tilts, ever so slightly, to the side. Some tension in her uncoils. "It is I who should apologize to you."

She blinks, her mouth falling open. "I – "

"This Sesshomaru lost his temper in a most unbecoming manner towards a welcomed guest." He inclines his head at her, while meanwhile she's having an internal existential crisis because Inuyasha has never, not once, not ever, apologized to her. "I accept your thanks, if you will accept my most heartfelt apologies for the way I treated you."

"I – " Her mouth quirks in a small smile. "I mean, how can I say no to something like that?"

He leans father back into his chair, relaxing against the cushions. "Indeed." His gaze never wavers from hers.

After that, Kagome decides, Screw Inuyasha and screw the Jewel of Four Souls. At least for a while. She misses Shippo fiercely, and Sango and Miroku. But she knows they'll be okay without her for a little while. And eventually Koga will find them and they'll come to her when they're ready to brave the evil demon lord they think Sesshomaru is. But she trusts that the three of them will have faith in her and trust her judgment if she ever told them she was safe here. Inuyasha though… he'd probably pop a blood vessel and tear down a wall. He'd never trust her judgment. He'd never trust his brother. He would assume that he was right, like he always did. He'd be an absolute and utter ass, yell at her, treat her like baggage, and never, ever, would a single word of apology come out of his loud, arrogant mouth.

She was honestly tired of it.

So she was going to enjoy every second of the time she had here living in peace and quiet in a fancy, comfortable bedroom, with a polite, little girl, and a courteous host. She'll deal with everything else when he, inevitably, comes up. But not a moment before.

After their brief heart-to-heart, or whatever it was, there is a truce forming between Kagome and Sesshomaru, tentative and hopeful. Something that is new and different for both of them. The only men Kagome know are brash Inuyasha, and the horny pair that are Miroku and Koga. Sesshomaru has only interacted with demoness'. For Kagome, it is the friendship of an adult who doesn't ask or want anything of her. For Sesshomaru, it is someone who sees him just as himself, as no one has since his parents. And there is Rin in between them, like a solid, anchor.

"So, you see, then you'll add a little hump at the end for the 'n' and there! R – I – N. That's your name!" Kagome leans back, watching Rin copy her motions in a clumsy scrawl. But when the girl looks up, she's grinning brightly. Kagome crinkles her nose at her to make her laugh. "Now if you want to write-"

"My name."

They both look up to see Sesshomaru leaning in the doorway, his body a long, lithe line from shoulder to hip. It's a more relaxed pose than she thinks probably anyone but Rin has ever seen him in. "What?"

"This is a writing lesson, is it not?" He pushes away from the wall and walks over. Placing his arm on the table top, he leans over. "If she is to learn –" Abruptly, he stops, and Kagome watches a frown bleed over his lips. "What language is this?"

"Uh… English?"

His brows crinkle. "That is a land far to the west of here, correct?"

West? He probably meant England, but right enough. "Yeah…"

"And how do you know this language?"

"I have to take it in school. It's required." Rin's head is bouncing back and forth between them like she's watching a high stakes tennis match. "I can… teach her the kanji instead. I just… thought she'd like to learn something different for a little bit."

"No." His head turns, until he's looking at her and because of the way he's leaning on the table it makes their faces eye level. Her breath falters at the proximity and for a moment it appears that his eyes followed the sound, but that couldn't possibly be true. "I will allow it, only…"

His head cocks slightly, like a dog listening to something a human can't hear. His eye roves over her face, the light in them looking for some sort of understanding. "Only what?"

"Only if you allow me to listen in, as well."

Kagome doesn't have time to answer before Rin is bouncing up in her chair. "Yay! Then Kagome will be your teacher, too!"

"I suppose she will be." He watches her as he takes a seat, surely noticing the blush blooming across her cheeks. He gestures regally with his one hand for her to continue. While the motion itself might appear condescending, she can see the glint of amusement in his eye as he makes it. "Please, continue… Kagome-sensei."

Her heart skips a beat.

They have dinner together, the three of them, most nights. Kagome is focused on Rin for so much of those meals that it isn't until the first night Rin passes out well before dinner and it is just her and Sesshomaru, that she realizes how little he eats.

He picks at his food, prepared by an obstinate Jaken, muttering the entire time that he does not get paid enough for this. Sesshomaru attempts to sway the conversation towards things she might find interesting – asking a leading query about her travels that he knows will send her on a long-winded explanation and take her attention away from him. From the way it still irritates him, years later, that he cannot use two utensils at the same time, that he must use chopsticks like a commoner to eat his food. That he must, at every banquet, hope that the meal does not require being cut, forcing him to pick around it in some semblance of eating.

But he should know that her eyes are too sharp, he mind too quick for such a scheme.

"You're not hungry?"

He glances up, to where she's seated past the empty space they had both left for Rin, and makes a noncommittal noise of agreement.

"You never eat that much, did you know that?" Her chin is propped up on her hand and she watches him with her bright, blue eyes. She does not appear to be judging him, just making an observation. One shoulder lifts in an elegant shrug. Her eyes trail away from his face, down to the one arm holding chopsticks, trying valiantly not to let any food fall even though he cannot hold the bowl closer to his mouth. He cannot stand the mess, so… so common. Her knowing gaze flicks almost imperceptibly towards his missing arm and he stiffens his spin in an effort not to fidget. "It must be hard, I'd never really thought about it before."

He frowns, the anger swelling up in him before he can stomp it down.

"I mean, half the time I forget you're… you know… missing an arm, because you still always kick Inuyasha's ass." Her laughter is bright as daylight and the ire bubbling in him pops away into nothingness. "So, it's like, never noticeable, so I never really thought about it."

Her eyes flick back up to his, her lips are pursed in concentration. He is beginning to know that look, he's seen it on her face when she reads from those books of her and is trying to solve a problem. "There is nothing that can be don, so you need not concern yourself with – "

"Nonsense!" Her loud voice startles him, as does it when her chair scraps backwards and is suddenly being dragged across the floor with an ear-screeching squeak that sends a shiver up his spine. The chair is placed with a thud directly beside him, at the head of the table. He does not even have time to move farther away before she sit in the chair. "We'll just have to work together, won't we?" She holds her bowl of rice and vegetables with her left hand, directly between them, the implication clear that they will share.

He is at a loss.

She is grinning up at him, clearly ecstatic with her solution. He should be pleased that she wishes to help him, that she is willing to sit beside him with no sign of fear, because those things mean that it is more likely that she will heal him, which is all he wants.

But really, what he is thinking about is the steady line of heat from her shoulder to her hip, pressed against him like a brand. What he is thinking of is the way she is offering to share her plate, her meal, with him like they are friends. What he is thinking of is that, this close, he can see how smooth her skin in, all porcelain and satin, how velvet her ink-dark tresses look, how bright her eyes, how soft her lips.

"I – " He clears his throat because there is a new feeling swelling in his chest that he cannot name. It feels as light as air, like a cresting wave inside his chest. He tries to take a deep breath, to steady his response, but it's unsteady and wavering. Kagome watches him avidly, her expression as open as a child's. She wants nothing from helping him, she is merely helping him because she wants to. She smiles at him as if she cannot see his mangled face, sits beside him as if she cannot feel the hollow space where his arm should be.

He clears his throat again. "This is satisfactory to me."

Her smile widens, and she begins to speak of something Rin found in one of the old sitting rooms yesterday, describing the artifact to him in earnest. She gestures with her chopsticks as she speaks, but always holds the bowl steady. So he spends the remainder of the meal shoulder to shoulder with the miko, eating from the same bowl, listing to her easy voice as she speaks.

He is not even aware of the small smile on his face as they continue.

For all that Jaken works sunup to sundown in the castle, cleaning windows, scrubbing floors, washing curtains, the garden is still in a state of disrepair. But Kagome still loves it. There's something magical about it – and that's saying something because she periodically transports herself through a magical well through time. But that's real magic.

What the garden is… is something else. It's the magic of stories. The Secret Garden. Lord of the Rings. The Chronicles of Narnia. It's transportation of a different manner. She knows that demons exist, has seen all manner of them. But there's something about the garden that makes her feel like a child again, makes her think she'll see fairies or unicorns around the very next corner.

What she doesn't see are birds.

She thinks at first that it might be normal. It is a garden in a demon palace, after all. Maybe it's not a place birds frequent. But then she sees the remains of a birdbath, she sees Rin hopefully toss out bird seed every morning and then leave disappointed every day. So it seems that there are not birds here anymore.

"Rin… what happened to all the birds?"

Big, brown eyes meet hers. "When Lord Sesshomaru got hurt, he got mad. And scared them all away."

"Did he not like the birds?"

"I think it was an accident. Sometimes he'll come out here really early in the morning and sit by the old fountain." Rin shrugged. "I think it makes him sad though."

Kagome hums in agreement, but her mind is a whirlwind of thought. Sesshomaru was an enigma wrapped in tall, handsome, and deadly, and it was both delightful and infuriating to learn these new facets of him, like breadcrumbs leading her home. She played with Rin for a few more hours, but her mind was already far away, planning.

The next morning when she wakes, her nerves buzzing in excitement, it's still dark outside. But she dressed and sneaks out of her room, tiptoes down the hall, and creeps out the door into the garden. When she reaches the spot Rin had mentioned, the old fountain, she composes herself in the dignified priestess seating pose she's seen Kaede (and Kikyo) in before, and meditates. Reaching into the well of her power has become easy over the past few years, but drawing it out in a soft and enticing manner is new. She is usually in the heat of battle, grasping at the energy of her core to save her life or the lives of other.

But now she draws it out in soft, slow strokes, like drawing water from a well, just a little. She blankets the areas around her with the feeling of peace and tranquility. She's still as a statue as she coats the area around her with safety and home and comfort.

"What are earth are you – "

There's a high-pitched trill of birdsong over Sesshomaru's incredulous greeting, cutting him off with a snap. When Kagome opens her eyes, there is a flock of birds alight on the ground, fluttering in the branches of the trees, hopping along the arms of statues. Robins and bluejays and sparrows and cardinals, all cocking their heads at one another with interest, eyeing up both miko and demon as potential sources of food. Sesshomaru is rigid as a wall, staring around the area with his mouth open slightly in surprise.

"-doing." He finishes his question almost as an afterthought.

"Rin said you missed the birds."

The expression on his face is almost helpless, his golden eye confused and wanting all at once. He takes a hesitant step forward, almost as if he is terrified that the birds will scatter into the wind, but they are content to peck at the dirt and fluff their feathers at one another, warbling in their high, thin, songbird voices. He takes a few more steps forward until he's standing beside her. She barely has time to tilt her head up before he's slide gracefully to his knees beside her, his gaze still focused on the birds fluttering around them. "My mother would bring me out here every morning to feed the birds when I was a child."

Kagome's heart gives a painful wrench in her chest at the admission, at the stark emotion in his soft voice. She knows how much Inuyasha misses his own mother, how much worse for someone so much older, who has more than years, but centuries between themselves and their loved one? He's watching the birds like he's staring into the past.

One brave cardinal hops closer, eyeing the lord critically. Coming to some internal bird decision, he leaps closer, before bouncing forward and hops up Sesshomaru's knee, leading closer to peer inquisitively at the fur draped over his shoulders. His breath hitches audibly in his throat and he turns to look at her, his gaze open and wondering. "Thank you."

It's her turn to draw in a shuddering breath, because she finds that when she tries to answer, all the air has left her lungs. She can't look away from him, even as he turns back to watching the birds. He's seated so the profile she sees is the torn and scarred side of his face, but he appears not to notice, even though normally he tries so hard to hide it from her. He doesn't appear to notice anymore and Kagome doesn't know what to do with that kind of vulnerability laid bare before her.

So she just shifts her seat, until she's leaning sideways, her shoulder pressed against his. When he makes no motion to dissuade her, she lets her head drop onto his shoulder. And so they spend the afternoon together, watching the birds.

The moment he realizes that his plan has been derailed is the moment he walks into the library and finds her sprawled across the floor, surrounded by papers and books that he has never seen before, her brow a furrow of concentration. She is busy, concentrating, he can see, but his curiosity over the strange paper and writing utensil she's chewing on draw him ever closer, until his shadow makes her look up.

For a moment, he wonders if she will be angry with him for interrupting, but she looks so honestly relieved to see him that it confuses him, and he forgets what he was about to say.

"Sesshomaru! Thank God!" She drops the strange quill from her hand. "This chemistry homework is murdering me."

"Chemistry?"

She waves a hand dismissively. "It's science, but of, like, molecular structures – things that are too small to see. The building blocks of life and all that stuff."

"I see." He doesn't see, not at all, and a part of him is annoyed that a human girl could possibly know more than he, a great demon lord. But another part of him is intrigued and wants to know more. Wants to know about these tiny structures that build life. He's heard her teach more of that strange language she calls English to Rin, the language his father told him came from so, so far to the West. Past the desert sands where the demons were all reptiles, past the forested land where the demons were gods in human form and had the powers of lightning and the sun and the waves. He wanted to learn that, too. Learn the strange mathematics he'd seen her do in the margins of her paper, learn the strange stories she told to Rin at night that he had never heard. He had never met a woman so intelligent. It fascinated him.

He means to ask her if he could possibly join her, but Kagome has other plans.

"I was just looking for a distraction from all of this work." She rolls over so she's staring up at him from her back. "Distract me."

He can tell that she means it seriously – that he's supposed to offer that perhaps she stop for lunch or they could take a turn around the garden or find Rin. He knows she does not mean anything more by it, because the look in her eyes is completely innocent. But all rational thought has fled his mind.

For the first time he sees an imagine in his mind of her dark spread across a pillow like spilled ink, her creamy skin flushed with passion. The short kimono she wears reveals legs he had never thought out except in passing, but now they are barefoot and sprawled out below him and he imagines… he imagine… the way he might fit between them, the way they might feel wrapped around him.

"I – " There's a swooping in his stomach as his gut clenches in a heady rush of desire so quick it makes him lightheaded. He realizes he hasn't had a single thought in days about convincing her to heal him because to do that would be to think about her leaving and she had become such a permanent fixture here he can barely fathom it. He realizes that the thought of his brother arriving fills him with dread not because Inuyasha might take his title, but because Inuyasha might take her.

He realizes that he might very well have a problem.

"- suppose I shall have to think of something."