CHAPTER 17: LEAVE US INK-STAINED

"It's been years now since she moved
And we all failed to keep in touch,
So her memory's all fade,
Like a book you've read too much,
But if she hoped to leave us ink-stained,
She should know she did succeed,
For even now we all still look for her,
In every book we read."
(e.h.)

As soon as the door closes behind her, he falls back onto the sheets, staring indolently at the ceiling. He cannot remember a time that was ever this relaxed, his muscles feel lax and pliant.

A part of it, he knows, is the deep and unresisting way he fell into sleep last night, with Kagome curled into his side like a nuzzling kitten. He slept in a cocoon of warmth and limbs that was borderline too hot in his heavy, dress clothes. But nothing in the world could have made him move. The castle could have tumbled to the ground around him in a heap of ruins and, as long as Kagome remained pressed against him, shoulder to hip, he would have been content to remain exactly as he was.

The ability to reach out in the night, in his half-sleep, and press his lips to that sprawl of dark hair or the curve of a porcelain cheek, to trace his fingertips wonderingly around the line of jaw or the contours of her spine. He wanted to trace her body like a map, just because he could.

Kagome was unlike anyone, demon or human, that he had ever met. There was a goodness in her that was beyond anything he had ever seen. He knew, theoretically, that a priestess who guarded the Shikon no Tama should be pure of heart and soul, but, from what he had seen, that was as rare as diamonds in a desert. Kikyo had certainly proved that. People were not, generally, built that way. But Kagome… she was goodness in the flesh, so un-judgmental and compassionate it was almost painful to think of the way he had treated her in the past. She forgave, wholly and unconditionally. And though he did not think he was worthy of such forgiveness, he was willing to try and be worth her affection. He had to be.

The thought of trying to coerce her to heal him was a thought that now sat like stones in his stomach. The very idea that he could use her and discard her for someone better was abhorrent. It was almost unimaginable to him that he had ever once contrived such a plan. All he wished for now, was her by his side, come hell or high water. His title, his lands, they all seemed meaningless in the wake of one night of her regard. His own castle could tumble into the sea and he might not even notice if Kagome smiled at him with shy fondness like she had this morning, mussed from sleep and tumbling from his arms.

Shaking the last haze of sleep from his mind and the daydreams of Kagome in his bed that threaten to overwhelm him if he dwells on them too long, he finally rises. As he dresses in his customary clothing, he realizes that, as she had slept here, Kagome left in her clothing from the night before. He feels a purely male thrill that others might see her disheveled and dressed so, and assume she had spent the evening with him. Good. Let others consider her claimed, for then there would be no competition.

He pauses in the hallway, contemplating his next move. He could go and track down his priestess in the kitchen, if she had found it yet. But it seemed as good a time as any to track down Tetsu and let him know he no longer cared about his father's imposed deadline for his son to choose a mate. He had all the time in the world, and he would not rush her. His father could roll over in his grave for all Sesshomaru cared.

"Lord Sesshomaru! What a pleasant morning!"

Speak of the devil… "Tetsu," he greeted, turning and watching the kitsune walked towards him, as chipper and jovial as he ever was. "Greetings."

"I believe I saw your little miko scampering down the stairs this morning in her party clothes." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Sesshomaru frowns but inwardly he thrills. "I should hope this means the issue of succession is no longer… well, an issue."

"Exactly what I wished to speak to you of. I find I no longer care about the time limit imposed by my father."

The smile falls off Tetsu's face. "I beg your pardon?"

"I shall not force Kagome into something she might not wish, nor is not ready for. This Sesshomaru would never stoop so low."

"But your brother will – "

"I do not care."

Tetsu stared at Sesshomaru for so long he began to wonder the fox had not understood him. "Oh gods," Tetsu finally whispered. "Oh gods, you love her."

Sesshomaru blinked. "I don't – "

"You do!" Tetsu cackled gleefully. "Oh this is fantastic! I have work to do! I could never let your father down if he knew I let your title slip through your fingers for the sake of love. If I have to bring him back from the dead and have him change the law, I will."

Sesshomaru was not listening. "- love her?" His carefully constructed inner walls rattle and collapse as he realizes what the feeling gripping his heart like a vice is. Oh. Oh.

"Better go make sure Akira hasn't made a mess of my office – "

That broke through the haze of self-realization. "What?" Tetsu blinked at him. "Akira was in your office? Why?"

Tetsu shrugged. "She said she was looking for some paperwork of her father's to potentially help him out or something." He frowns at the troubled look on Sesshomaru's face. "Why does it matter?"

"Were the papers concerning the title of the Western Lands located in your office?"

"Yes, but – " Realization. "You don't think she would – "

"I think Lady Akira would do everything in her power to ruin this Sesshomaru's life," he says, already moving swiftly down the hallway. There's a sick feeling of dread clutching at his gut, the limb tingling feeling of adrenaline coursing through him, his mind a swirl of thoughts too fast to focus on. All he knows is that, if Akira did get her hands on those documents, he had to find her before she found Kagome.

She is not in the kitchen, and whether that is because Akira found her first or Kagome got lost, he did not know. But it made him agitated and nervous. His steps changed from hurried to downright frantic, as he opened doors at random, taking in rooms, dismissing them, and left. No doubt he startled many guests and maids as they went about their days, no doubt they were wondering what was wrong with him, but he didn't when remotely care. Later he realizes that he had completely forgotten about his ravaged face and was no doubt scaring the living daylights out of everyone he came across.

"Of you?"

His head snaps in the direction of that falsely shocked, high voice that he knows so well.

"You're the one that burned his face – "

Maybe at another time he will dwell on just exactly how Kagome knows that Akira is the one responsible for his injury, but it's not important at the moment. He has to get there before Akira says anything else that there will be no way of taking back.

"… do you know he and I were almost mated…"

He hurries forward, steps more frenzied the more Akira speaks.

"… didn't have any more use for me…"

No, no, no, she could not continue. There were only two more doors in this hallway. He snaps the first one open and it is empty except for a startled maid who tumbles off her ladder as she dusts the mantle.

"… he's just grasping at the last straw he has to keep his power… "

He offers no apology, just turns and sprints to the last door, opening it and stepping inside.

"…he'll throw you away like trash."

The silence that rings in the room is profound and deep. He can't even say anything as he watches Akira stare gloatingly at Kagome. When he sees her shoulders start to shake, he takes a hesitant step forward. It takes him by surprise when she turns abruptly and slams into him. What can he say to her – he needs to explain that that's not what he wants, it's not what he would do, not anymore. He reaches out. "Kagome…"

But before he can reach out and touch her, she has shouldered past him and is gone.

When he would have immediately turned after her, heart breaking at the sound of her ragged sob and hectic footfalls, Akira laughs behind him and he pauses. Turning to her, Sesshomaru fixes her with a glare. "I suppose you think you have won?"

"Haven't I though?" She smiles at him, all teeth. "You have lost your last chance and retaining your title. And when your idiotic brother assumes the mantle as Lord of the Western Lands, my husband and I are going to kill him and claim those lands for our own." The smile widens. "Face it, Lord Sesshomaru. You've lost."

He's across the room in a flash too swift to see, and not even Akira's false bravado can stop her swiftly indrawn breath of shock when she finds Sesshomaru's claw around her throat, he face mere inches from her. "You are not even worth killed, Akira. I should like you to live to prove you wrong." The grip on her neck tightens. "But know that if even so much as speak to Kagome again… I will rip the head from your body." He lets go abruptly, but does not stop to watch her crumble into her seat.

He is already gone.