Chapter 3 – Intermission

GENERAL WARNING – This chapter features a lot of self-loathing and unhealthy conditioning as a result of abuse.

GENERAL WARNING – Internalized homophobia in the 3rd scene, leading to some mild derogatory language.

-:-:-:-:-:-

"There is one light in this dark tunnel," Fairy Godmother said sometime later, when Chad had exhausted his tears like the giant baby he was. "Because you are my Fairy Godson, in a manner of speaking, I put in a special request to the king to be allowed the use of my wand."

She revealed the magical item with a swirl of her fingers, the powerful tool so many had fought over cradled between her hands.

"I thought… I thought knowledge was your magic now," Chad sniffed, wiping at his cheeks again in case he'd missed any of the tears from before.

Fairy Godmother smiled. "I'm making an exception, now. You shouldn't… I don't want you carrying around these wounds with you, Chad. Ella wouldn't want it and I certainly don't, so I'm going to heal your injuries before you come home, okay?"

'Home', she said, likely a slip of the tongue because she meant her home and not Chad's home, because he apparently didn't have one of those anymore.

Chad should probably ask more questions, ask why now when he'd been hurt so many times before, but eventually the pain medication was going to fade away and it was either weeks of no movement followed by intense physical therapy or an instant band aid born from guilt.

Chad would take the band aid.

"Okay," Chad said, swallowing to clear his throat. "I'm ready."

Fairy Godmother's magic consumed him in a shower of sparkles, something he would have been awed by were it not for what it had taken to earn them. His mother had gotten them by being kind, by being beautiful both inside and out. She hadn't even been looking for the prince when she'd gone to the ball, she'd only wanted to see her friend the apprentice.

All Chad had done was be a failure. There was nothing noteworthy about that. No one was going to write a story about that.

No one would care.

When the lights faded, he could feel himself be healthy and whole again, knew without question that his foot wouldn't fail him. He felt revitalized too, like all the exhaustion had been sucked from his bones – but that, he knew, he would ruin in time. There would be no sleep for him tonight. Not with that news story playing. Not with the world knowing.

"There." Fairy Godmother grinned, letting her wand vanish with a flick of her hand. "All better?"

Chad did his best to force a smile – normally one of his greatest tricks, and knew he failed by how wrong it felt on his lips. "All better," he lied. "Thank you, Fairy Godmother."

Her smiled dimmed a little, but she kept it in place because she was a fairy of positivity and light and Chad was just a fairy. "You're welcome, dear. Now, let's see about getting you home."

"Okay."

Chad wondered how long it would take for another scandal to blow this mess over. Probably forever, knowing his luck.

At least he'd get to see the inside of that cottage, though. That was something.

He decided to hold onto that.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Moving in with Fairy Godmother was eight parts weird and two parts amazing, because the cottage was just as cozy and welcoming as it looked on the outside. Fairy Godmother gave him the guest bedroom, a somewhat apologetic look on her face, though Chad wasn't sure why – sure, the room was smaller than the one he had back home but this one felt like a room instead of a museum display, one that he had to keep tidy to the last speck of dust for fear of retribution from his grandfather. The guest room even had a quilt that looked hand stitched, and while Fairy Godmother didn't say as much, Chad was almost certain it had been made by his mother.

He spent his first night in the cottage curled in that quilt, pretending his mother was hugging him by extension, pretending she would be proud instead of disgusted by his actions.

Fairy Godmother had all of Chad's schoolwork delivered to him so he could work from his new room, and it was sort of nice to just focus on that and not worry about any of his grandfather's extra assigned studies. It was less nice that he couldn't get in contact with any of his family's lawyers to check the progress of his grandfather's criminal proceedings, and he couldn't get through to his father (Chad never could, but he'd thought this time maybe his dad would make an exception – he hadn't), so he was just sort of stuck twiddling his thumbs and waiting for the media to die down and latch onto a different scandal so he could go back to school.

The one benefit of all this was that it gave him a perfectly good reason to avoid Ben.

At least until Chad had gotten a full week of blessed silence, and then Ben had come to him.

"Chad, dear," Fairy Godmother had said, pulling Chad away from an essay he felt like he was actually making progress on for once. "Ben's here to see you."

A low buzz of panic filled Chad's stomach. "No," he said, eying his window as though the other prince would spring through it if Chad let his guard down. "I don't want to see him."

Because this was an understandably rude thing, Fairy Godmother's expression turned sad. No, disappointed. Even worse. "I won't make you, sweetheart, but you might both feel better with a little… closure."

Right. Okay, yes, of course she was right. Chad needed to rip the band aid off this 'mate' thing or Ben was going to bother him until the end of time.

"Okay," Chad said, and she must not have expected that sort of maturity from him because she literally blinked in surprise.

"Oh," she said. "He's downstairs in the sitting room, if you really want to-"

"I want to," Chad lied, and then he untangled himself from his mother's quilt and forced himself down the stairs.

At least he was confronting Ben on home turf. Sort of. At least Chad had a room to retreat to.

Ben had been perched on the edge of one of the couches, his head slumped towards the floor, when Chad had walked in. He was immediately on his feet the moment he saw Chad, a series of complicated and unfathomable emotions flickering across his face before he settled on want.

"Chad," he said, his gaze apologetic. "I'm so sorry-"

"Don't- it doesn't matter," Chad said, waving him off. "Let's just get this over with."

Ben, who had been in the process of forming an objection, blinked, clearly thrown off by the abrupt shift in conversation. "Get what over with?"

"This mate stuff," Chad said, trying not to roll his eyes. "You should date Taylor – the end."

Chad was pretty sure that was something they could both agree on, only Ben looked stricken by this suggestion. "I don't want to date Taylor, I want you."

"No, you don't." Chad actually did roll his eyes that time. It had been a losing battle from the start. "We've hung out with each other since we were kids, Ben, if you wanted to date me, you would have probably figured it out by now."

"But I hadn't seen you dance before," Ben said, stepping forward with a stupid noble determination in his eyes. "I've never seen you be that free-"

"That's stupid," Chad snapped, wanting to fold his arms but knowing that would only look defensive. "You're stupid. You should go."

"Chad." Ben was wounded now, his dumb majestic brows furrowed in a look of hurt. "Please, I know you want this too. After what we shared together-"

"I don't want to talk about that," Chad snarled, losing the fight to maintain his cool because Chad wasn't cool, he was an asshole. "Go home, Ben. You don't owe me your sympathy or your honor or whatever. Go date Taylor – he'd be a great consort for you."

Ben's expression shifted into a look of frustration, a warbled growl seemingly swallowed in his throat. "That's not how it works, Chad. It's just you. Only you-"

"Shut up, Ben," Chad huffed. "And get out."

Ben needed to be anywhere but here, doing important world-changing things and not feeling bad for the wimp that had gotten a little teary eyed after a light beating.

"No Chad, please." Ben fell to his knees. His knees. He was on his dumb knees and he was still so tall as he inched forward, reaching for Chad. "This last week has been awful-"

"You'll get over it," Chad snapped. "Look, I'm doing you a favor, Ben. You don't see it now-"

"Chad." He might be crying now. Chad might have made the king cry. What a fuck he was.

"-but you'll thank me for this," Chad continued on as though he couldn't see Ben's sorrow. "You'll find someone else whose scent you like, whose dance appeals to your inner beast or whatever, and I'll…"

Never get a princess, at this rate, so he'd have to settle for one of the petty noble girls back in Sardinia that had clambered for his affections once upon a time. There might be less now, but there would still be some shallow girl willing to put up with his baggage for the sake of being queen.

"…be fine," Chad settled on. "It will be great. Now go home."

"Chad," Ben whimpered, hands curling towards the blond but hesitating to make contact. "Please. I promise things will get better. I promise-"

"Go home, Ben," Chad said, and then he left, because he had always been especially horrible at comforting crying humans, at comforting anyone.

Chad would know, he'd never been able to comfort himself. It was actually kind of sad.

He was pretty sure he heard Ben sobbing when he strode out of the room, but honestly, the guy would be fine. Better even, now that Chad was helping him. He would see that, eventually.

These things just took time.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Things progressed at the slow and steady rate of abysmal while Chad stayed comfortably locked away in Fairy Godmother's cottage. Not that he minded, because it felt like a home with pictures and people and life, and he actually loved that a lot – loved the desk he got to work at with the nicks in the polished finish and his mom's quilt and the way Jane would hum under her breath or the fact that they sat down and had dinner together once a night like a real family.

Were it not for the fact that Chad's humiliation had been broadcasted to the world and his grandfather could go to the Isle because of Chad's stupidity, Chad would think the Duke's arrest was one of the best things to ever happen to him. It was a selfish thought, further proving why Chad was so horrible, and he tried not to dwell on it.

At the very least the recording that had been shared with all of Auradon hadn't had any accompanying audio, meaning they hadn't heard the Duke berate Chad. There were a few attempting to read their lips, but the camera wasn't that good of quality, leaving Chad as the only reliable witness as to what had been said. And seeing as Chad sure as hell wasn't going to share any of what had transpired, he figured his grandfather was at least closer to safe than he would have been otherwise.

"Chad," Fairy godmother said one evening when Chad was reviewing notes for his history test. "Sweetheart, your father was cleared for a visit. He's downstairs if you'd like to talk to him."

Chad froze, mostly caught off guard by the suggestion more than anything else. Chad hadn't had a real conversation with his father since… he couldn't actually remember. He was sort of surprised his father wanted to do so now, but then again, Chad had just gotten his dad sent to like, jail or something, so the king probably wanted to talk about that.

"Okay," Chad said, deftly putting away his notes.

The room was cozy but it still needed to be neat. There were standards that a prince such as Chad needed to obey.

"You don't have to," Fairy Godmother reiterated. "You don't have to, but the option is available – I wanted you to know that."

"I… appreciate that," Chad said, not really understanding her logic. If the king wanted to speak to Chad, who was he to say no? It so rarely happened. "But I want to."

That time when Chad went to the living room, Fairy Godmother accompanied him, settling down in one of the arm chairs while Chad took the loveseat across from the couch his dad was sitting on.

When she saw Chad's confusion, she offered him a tight smile. "Your visits have to be supervised," she explained. "King Ben gave me the clearance to do so on the court's behalf."

"Oh." That… made no sense, but it wasn't like Chad was going to turn away Fairy Godmother. She was Fairy Godmother. "Okay."

"Chad," his father spoke up, looking tired, and a little bit sad. "I… I'm so sorry."

Huh, Chad hadn't been expecting that. "It's okay, dad," Chad assured him, beginning to feel a little less anxious. "It was my fault."

Fairy Godmother tensed up. "Chad-"

"No." Chad shook his head. "I know how a prince is supposed to behave and I messed that up." Like he always did. "Grandfather was right to be upset, I made Sardinia look bad and…" he swallowed, but kept himself resolute because if he didn't say this firmly, then who would believe him? "I just- I want you to know I'm not gay, or anything. I'm going to marry a girl someday, I promise, after everything um… dies down."

Maybe he'd marry a girl from the Isle, one who didn't know him, who wouldn't care who he was. Someone strong. The prospect of power he could offer her might be alluring enough to make this hypothetical human put up with him.

Instead of taking any comfort in this, Chad's father seemed… pained, would likely be the best way to put it, and Fairy Godmother didn't look much better.

"Chad…" His father began slowly. "I don't- I don't care about that."

Through years of practice, Chad managed not to flinch. "Right." Of course, his dad didn't care about most of the things he did. "Just- on the offhand chance you were worried."

"No." His father shook his head slowly. "I mean, if you like boys, I don't care. That's- there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not- that's not a thing I'd be disappointed about."

"But…" Chad felt his stomach turn to stone, his cheeks filling with an uncomfortable warmth as he reviewed everything his grandfather had ever told him. "But then I'd be a um… sissy, and no one would take me seriously."

Granted, no one was going to take Chad seriously anyway because they'd watched him cry like a giant baby, but if the collective of Auradon somehow managed to get over that, no one would take him seriously.

Both his father and Fairy Godmother tensed.

"Is that what your grandfather told you?" Chad's dad asked, looking like he was afraid of the answer.

Chad wasn't sure why though; he was sure his dad had gotten all the same lectures. Unless- unless the Duke hadn't had to do that because his dad was so heterosexual it wasn't even a concern, whereas Chad willingly signed up for dance class and dressed up like a cat and let a king fuck him into a couch.

Oh, damn. He actually was a sissy. Fuck.

"Yeah," Chad sighed, latching onto the question because otherwise he'd have a breakdown over that. How was he going to marry a girl now? "And I already do a really bad job representing Sardinia-"

"You don't, actually," his father interrupted, so quickly Chad just had to breathe, because that was the first complimentary thing the man had said to him in a very long time. "You represent our kingdom wonderfully, and you always have. Who you love doesn't affect that, and I'm… I'm sorry I allowed your grandfather to let you think that over all these years. I just- I want you to be happy, Chad, and I know now that I failed you."

Before Chad got a chance to respond (not that he knew what he would say in the first place), Fairy Godmother cut in, her voice hard, "How could he be happy if you never talked to him?"

Somehow, the king looked abashed. "I feared my depression would drag us both under," he admitted. "I see now I was wrong-"

"Dad." Chad's chest ached and he didn't know why. "Dad, it's okay. You're a great king-"

"But a horrible father," the man interrupted, looking so very sad over this fact. "I…" He drifted for a moment, then seemed to refocus, his gaze on Chad. "You're going to stay here for a bit, Chad, until I can prove I'm prepared to take care of you the way I should be – being present both mentally and physically for you. That's going to take time, but know now that my absence is not any slight against you. It just… needs to be done. And-" He swallowed, then nodded. "If you and Benjamin really are a couple-"

"We're not," Chad said, feeling his cheeks heat with a humiliated blush. "We're not, I promise."

"If you were," the king continued. "I support you a hundred percent, and I love you."

It went against everything Chad had ever been taught, everything he'd ever known, and that was confusing in itself, let alone his father saying he loved him. His father talking to him, seeming to care for him – Chad didn't know if it was a show for Fairy Godmother or just pity. It was very confusing.

"Okay," Chad said eventually, because he didn't have anything else. "I um… love you too, dad."

He guessed. He didn't know his father very well, but he seemed like a good man.

Chad likely misread the pain in his father's eyes, but then the king was smiling, so it had probably been nothing. "I'm allowed to visit once a week," he explained. "And I can call, too. And if you have any extracurricular activities, I can see you in those as well."

For a moment, Chad was unspeakably grateful that he'd already completed his performance credit for dance, otherwise things would have gotten a lot more awkward.

"…cool," Chad replied, like a doofus.

'Cool'. He'd wanted some kind of parental presence at his school activities for years, it just- he'd given up on ever getting it.

And, to be honest, he was pretty sure his dad had more important things to do than watch Chad compete in Swords and Shields.

There was an awkward pause.

"Okay, then," the king said. "I'll um- just be going then."

Chad stood when he did, because he was a king, and was surprised to find himself pulled into a hug. Which- was it for show? He wished he had answers. He guessed his dad didn't hate him after all for what had happened to the Duke, and Chad guessed he couldn't be that vile if the king was willing to touch him.

That was something. Probably.

Or he was reading into things again.

"Come back soon," Fairy Godmother said with a sweet smile when they waved the king away, and Chad…

Didn't know what to think, but he supposed that went well. Probably.

Probably.

-:-:-:-:-:-

So.

Chad was a sissy.

That was… not great.

Or, maybe it was? His dad had said he hadn't cared, and Fairy Godmother didn't seem to care, and Taylor's parents didn't seem to care that their kid was gay, but like, what if it was a thing Chad was supposed to read between the lines of? Like they said it was fine but he should know that it wasn't, only his grandfather knew how stupid he was so he was the only one who explicitly told Chad.

It was confusing.

Chad didn't know who he should ask about it. Ben seemed fine with being gay and he was king of Auradon. In fact, none of the gossip magazines or media posts had been especially cruel towards him for his desires, so…

Chad didn't know. He just didn't know.

Could Chad be gay? Like, was that a thing he was comfortable doing in public? Granted, he'd never been with anyone, so he didn't really know how it felt to be part of a couple in the public eye, but like- theoretically…?

The one thing he knew for certain was that he could not, under any circumstances, bother Ben.

Ben was good and honest and kind and noble.

And Chad was a shithead.

So even if Ben thought Chad was the one for him – well, he was obviously wrong. He was just confused, and if Chad cared about him in any way, he wouldn't encourage Ben's misplaced affections. Besides, if Ben was serious, he wanted Chad to be like, Queen of Auradon, and Chad was barely qualified to be prince of Sardinia, let alone an acting authority for the united kingdoms.

So he needed to help Ben. Help him find someone new. It was the kind thing to do.

The only question was how.

-:-:-:-:-:-

"Do you have something against Taylor?"

"What?" Chad looked up from the carrots he had been chopping for stew to meet Jane's expression of interest, the other girl disregarding the pile of celery that was in front of her in favor of staring at Chad.

"Taylor's gay," Jane explained, because Chad was publicly quite stupid so she probably thought he hadn't realized that yet. "Do you have anything against him?"

"…no?" Chad didn't understand the question. "I've been trying to get Ben to go back to dating Taylor, but he won't listen." Chad turned his gaze back to his carrots, and then he was struck with a sudden thought. "Do you have any ideas about how to make that happen?"

Jane was smart, she could probably think of smart-people arguments that Ben might listen to.

Jane didn't seem to be expecting that question. "I don't think Ben's going to change his mind," she said eventually, and she was smart so that was probably true, and Chad had just doomed himself by dancing in public and having a nice smell. "So you don't have anything against gay people at all?"

"No." Chad shook his head.

No one else seemed to have an issue with it; he wasn't sure why he would.

"You just… don't want to be known as gay," Jane surmised. "Right?"

Chad felt himself blush. "It's just- I'm already useless enough as it is. I can't add 'won't produce an heir' onto that." It had pretty much been the only thing Chad couldn't screw up before this whole 'gay' mess started spreading around.

"What if I made you an heir?" Jane asked, and for a second Chad thought she meant like – the old fashioned way – and there was an intense moment of embarrassment before he remembered that Fairy Godmother had created Jane from her own magic – with no father involved at all.

If Jane could produce him an heir from magic as well, Chad supposed it wouldn't be so bad, being gay.

"…that would be better," Chad settled on, because at least that much was true. "Would you do that?"

"If that was the only thing holding you back?" Jane said. "In a heartbeat."

Whoa.

That was easily one of the nicest things anyone had ever offered Chad. And granted, he knew she was extending this offer more for Ben than she was for Chad, but the thought was still nice.

"Thanks, Jane," Chad said, because over anything else, he was grateful. "That a big weight off my mind."

The other teen beamed at him, though Chad didn't know why, because she was being the nice one. "I'm happy to help," she said, and Chad was even inclined to believe that was true. "Are you gonna talk to Ben now?"

"Oh." Chad blinked, overwhelmed with a sudden rush of anxiety and terror before he shoved both away again. "No. Definitely no. I wouldn't do that to Ben."

"You wouldn't do what to Ben?" Jane echoed. "Date him?"

"Exactly." Chad nodded. "He can do a lot better."

There was a pause, during which Jane gave him one of those unfathomably sad looks that Chad always felt uncomfortable in the wake of, which was a shame, because they seemed to be happening to him a lot nowadays.

"Ben doesn't think so," she said eventually.

"Well, Ben's only human," Chad said. "He's just as capable of making mistakes as anyone else. And sure, he thinks I'm great now, but after like, four dates he's going to realize I'm an asshole-"

"I wish you'd stop saying that about yourself," Jane said in that especially quiet voice of hers.

Chad sighed. "It's true." She knew it, he knew it, the whole school knew it. Where was the lie? "My point is, he's going to realize I'm not what he wants sooner or later, so we may as well avoid the trouble altogether and just like- not date."

And then Chad didn't have to be his 'Gentleman of the Court' or whatever for Cotillion. He could just be Chad, the guy who failed so much he had to get beaten by his grandfather.

Jane was frowning. "You shouldn't make that choice for him."

"I have to make that choice for him," Chad said, exasperated. "He doesn't understand how stupid I can be. I do. And if I want to be kind-"

"You're not stupid," Jane pressed, her eyes wide and soulful like they usually were when she was defending one of Carlos' Isle quirks.

This conversation was getting them nowhere.

"Just drop it, Jane," Chad said, turning back to his carrots because they didn't need anything from him. "I'm not what Ben needs. And if he can't see that now, he eventually will. That's all that matters."

Maybe by that point, Chad could show his face in public again.

Just- maybe.

He hoped.

-:-:-:-:-:-

One of the many benefits of staying with Fairy Godmother was that Chad didn't have to review any of the additional studies Chad's grandfather would have insisted upon. Which in the long run probably wasn't great, because Chad needed those studies to be less awful, but the good news about not having them was that Chad didn't get information mixed up so easily. Focusing solely on his Auradon Prep schoolwork allowed the facts to actually settle in his brain, until going through his homework had actually become a speedy process. It was super cool.

Chad was in the middle of finishing up an essay (an essay he didn't have to second guess or show to one of his extra tutors to mark up and berate only for him to like, get a C anyway) when he heard a knock against his window, and for a brief second he was afraid it might be Ben before he remembered that the king had a tendency to use doors for their intended purposes as opposed to windows.

That was what had allowed Chad to approach the window at all, and when he pulled back the curtain it was to see Jay perched on the garden trellis, offering Chad a slight wiggle of his fingers in greeting when he caught sight of the prince.

Chad was sincerely tempted to leave the guy there, to close the curtains and go back to the essay that had been going so well.

But.

Jay rarely ever reached out to him, hadn't since the whole thing, and Chad supposed they needed closure too.

He opened the window.

"Hey, Chad," Jay greeted casually, as though the last time he had seen Chad hadn't been when the prince was a sobbing mess. "Can we hang out?"

"I don't know," Chad said, but he still waved him inside, shutting the window behind him. "I'm trying to decide if I'm mad at you."

"Mad at me?" Jay echoed, confused by the statement. "Why? I caught you."

"Yeah," Chad agreed. "But if you hadn't, my grandfather probably wouldn't be arrested right now."

"Dude, Doug would have checked his web camera eventually," Jay replied. "So yes, he would be. I just saved your body from taking unnecessary damage."

Chad considered this with a weary sort of reluctance. "…fine," he said, perching on the edge of the guest bed, letting his fingers run over this mother's neat stitches. "I guess I'm not mad at you, then."

"Good." Jay said it like he meant it, like he actually gave a shit about Chad's opinion. He even sat on the bed next to Chad, despite there being a perfectly good chair right by the desk. "I wanted to check up on you."

"I'm still not dating Ben," Chad said, wanting to get that out of the way as soon as possible.

It was best to be direct and concise with what you wanted in life.

Jay blinked at him. "That is not why I came," he said, seeming to shift closer. "Though, fair warning, Mal will definitely be visiting you about that sooner or later so like- prepare yourself."

"Okay." Chad nodded, appreciating the heads up. Jay didn't have to give it.

"Is your foot okay?" Jay asked, gaze drifting towards Chad's ankle. "I heard that Fairy Godmother was allowed to heal you with magic. Could I… could I see?"

"Um… sure." Chad shrugged, pulling off his sock before rolling up the hem of his slacks – because even if he was lazing about inside there was no reason he shouldn't be up to princely standards. He slid his leg up onto the bed for Jay's inspection, and was surprised when the other teen actually touched him, taking Chad's foot into his lap so he could feel and press against his very whole ankle.

"Wow," Jay said, with a complete lack of irony. "That's… wow. And…" He looked down, a warm flush seeming to spread across the bridge of his nose. "Um… the other place?"

Chad froze, humiliation and shame welling in his throat, because Jay had been there, he'd heard-

But hell, the rest of Auradon had seen what happened too, Chad wasn't sure why he cared now.

"Is that okay?" Jay pressed. "Could I um…?"

Chad found himself standing and moving away from the bed before he could really think about it, because even he wasn't stupid enough to miss Jay's implications. "Just because I let Ben fuck me doesn't mean I'm a whore, Jay."

"Hey, no, I didn't say that," Jay rushed to explain, standing with his hands held out, like he was trying to calm Chad down. "I'm sorry, that was stupid. That was actually, literally the worst- I'm usually better than this."

"At what?" Chad snapped, his shoulders tensing in a horrible way. "At getting into people's pants?"

"That wasn't why I came here," Jay insisted. "Well, obviously I had hoped-"

"Go away-"

"But I'd hoped because I like you!" The words came out in a flurry, ending with Jay sliding onto his knees before Chad, looking up at him with big, beseeching eyes.

It was an unfortunately familiar sight.

"I like you," Jay repeated when he saw that he had Chad's attention. "And I'm sorry I never realized all the shit you were going through – evil knows I should have figured it out with all the villains I grew up with-"

"Don't say that." Chad flinched. "It wasn't that bad. Besides, I deserved it."

"No, that's how they win," Jay said, reaching forward to squeeze Chad's hand. "They say that we deserve it but no one deserves that. No one, Chad."

Chad wanted to say that it wasn't true, that Jay didn't understand. Didn't realize that Chad was expected to be better, expected to be the best and that he often fell so terribly short, but Fairy Godmother said he was doing okay and his dad said he wasn't all that bad and Jane seemed to think he was alright so maybe… maybe Jay was a little bit correct.

Chad still wasn't sure where this sudden affection had come from, though.

"Look," Chad said. "This is um… really flattering, but I really don't know what you'd like about me aside from my willingness to have sex with dudes, so-"

"You're funny," Jay cut in, making Chad's mouth snap shut. "You're a stickler for rules, and at first I thought that was because you were a fuddy duddy, but then I realized you just didn't want to do anything wrong. You're weirdly neat and clean and even though you never apologized to Evie for making her do your homework-" The like, one time in Chad's life where he'd gotten an A, and then Chad couldn't even date the pretty girl because he'd gotten queasy every time she'd puckered her very pretty lips and he was so tired and overworked and broken. "-you bought her like, eight years' worth of material and notions and pretty much jump started her business by putting in orders for dresses that you gave away as free publicity."

Chad hadn't realized Jay had known that. He hadn't thought anyone had known that, but he'd felt so bad for Evie, who was talented and deserved good things, whereas Chad was untalented but had good things he didn't really deserve, so sharing them had seemed like a no-brainer.

"You're a team player in Tourney, and even though you helped make Parents' Day the like, worst afternoon ever for us-" This was not a good pep talk. "-you were standing up for what you thought was right, even though you were obviously uncomfortable, which I didn't see until later. So." Jay squeezed Chad's hands. "There are a lot of other reasons why I like you, I just didn't realize I had any kind of shot with you until now."

Oh no, the weird stomach flutters Chad got when he thought about Jay sometimes were coming back and he hated those things, because they made him feel weird and distinctly un-princely.

"But… what about Ben?" Chad asked, swallowing roughly as he tried to process this influx of information.

"What about him?" Jay challenged. "You said you didn't want to date him."

"I don't," Chad confirmed, his heart beating faster at the mere thought of it. "But he's your friend, right? Isn't there like, a code about this stuff?"

Chad only knew the theoretical stuff pertaining to relationships, he didn't have any real practical experience with either that or how friendships applied to the mix.

"Maybe," Jay allowed. "But we're not that good of friends. And um, you might not know this but…" He slowly rose to his feet, until he and Chad were standing almost chest-to-chest, sharing air. "-I'm just a little bit wicked."

"That's not why you want to do this, right?" Chad asked, a new swell of panic building. "I'm not just forbidden fruit?"

"No, Chad," Jay said, but he wasn't exasperated, he was just sure. "No, I like you. I've liked you for a while. I just thought it was hopeless."

He stepped forward and there was just- a lot of contact, and Chad didn't even mind and he wasn't even scared about the fact that he didn't mind because it felt so very right. Jay was dashing, all the girls loved him. It was probably okay if Chad liked him too, that was like, an objective hotness.

"Um…" Chad swallowed, flushing when he caught Jay staring at his lips. "I don't… I don't know what I can offer you. It might not be much."

"I appreciate your honesty," Jay said, tilting their foreheads together. Somehow, it managed to be just as intimate as Ben fucking Chad on the couch. "And I'm a greedy soul, so I'll take whatever you can offer."

"Okay," Chad said, and Jay um- kissed him.

And then they kissed again, and again, until maybe they sort of made out a little.

Maybe.

And it was… yeah, it was good.

So that was neat.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Endnotes:

Hey guys, thanks for the reviews! They are greatly appreciated!

But another example of Jay trying and failing so hard to be smooth. I have the perpetual belief that when it like, actually matters, he is incapable of navigating romantic situations without being the most awkward of beans.

Until next time :)