Life with Ianto seemed far more difficult than he'd expected on first sight. The grieving man was always there when he'd least expected it. Of course like a true friend, he'd always help him through heavy times, but his traitorous heart made it all the more difficult for him. Many times had he dreamed about snogging the young man or making slow and passionate love to him. His repressed feelings made it harder for him to act normal around the Welshman, but he did what he could. Naturally, it didn't really help that they were still sleeping in the same bed at night. And then there had been the shower accident, which didn't help him one bit at trying to hide his feelings. He had no idea how it happened, or even why he hadn't heard it. But he'd walked in on a fully naked, freshly showered and covered in water droplets Ianto. He'd stood still out of shock, not knowing how to move or even to say something. For a moment Ianto was responding in the same way before the young man quickly wrapped the towel he'd been holding around in his hands around his midriff and fled out of the bathroom. The worst bit of it all might've been that in the brief time he looked at him he could see Ianto's boner and felt himself turn hard too. It had been heaven that they'd both had to be at work soon after and so only talked about it when both their minds had calmed down. The result though had been a raging hard-on for quite some while. But luckily they talked it out and made the promise to knock on the bathroom door when someone else was present to prevent these kinds of things from ever happening again.

"What am I going to do?" Ianto asked one particular bright morning four months later. Lisa had tried to woo her way back into his life many times already and to him, it seemed like Ianto was beginning to look depressed whenever he started talking about his love life, but somewhere carefully hidden away, he could see a spark of affection in his eyes which could only mean that he'd met someone else who he liked very much. Love did stupid things to you. But lately, something odd seemed to happen to his friend, nothing he could really describe, but ever since they'd woken up one morning - about three months ago - and they'd noticed that Ianto was spooned against him something had changed in their friendship.

"What do you mean?" He replied carefully, he lowered the paper he had been reading and quickly shoved his glasses further up his nose. He'd convinced the young man to wear them more.

Ianto's glasses where on the verge of falling off his nose as he had his hands in between the object and his eyes. They covered his eyes in a desperate attempt to close himself off from the world around him. His elbows on his knees and his legs spread wide.

"I mean with Lisa, with my life. With everything!" He declared frantically as he threw his hands away from his face. He put his paper aside and watched Ianto clearly having a breakdown. Quickly he made his way out of the comfy chair and towards the couch, Ianto was currently occupying. His feet almost slipped during the quick process, but he managed to catch himself just in time before he would fall on the ground and hit the edge of the table. Only thing was, in order for him not to die on the spot and start freaking Ianto out, even more, he'd changed his direction which resulted in him falling on top of the Welshman on the couch. Their eyes met for a brief moment, his breath caught in his throat as he gawked at the angelic face below him. It took a while before Ianto's eyes finally registered the shock he'd expected far sooner.

Overwhelmed, Ianto started to push him off of him. Jack didn't respond and just laid there as he quickly stood up and stared at one of his best friends. Jack had come to mean so much to him ever since they met, but his racing heart didn't want to stop while he tried to even out his breath. He was on the verge of hyperventilation when he panicked and ran out of the house, away from Jack, away from his mixed-up feelings, away from his troubles.

The Mermaid Quay wasn't the quietest place to think, but it was one of the places where he would go during his childhood when things became too much to bear and he just had to go away. It reminded him of home, of how he knew his mam loved him. How his sister had made a promise to protect him but left him all the same when she went to live together with her boyfriend. It reminded him of the simple things in life. The Mermaid Quay made way to a path which led towards a beautiful open field. Green grass was all around him when he finally reached it. It was unbelievably hot for Wales so for once it didn't matter that he left the house without a coat. He knew his phone was still lying in the bedroom, being charged, and his wallet luckily in his back pocket. He'd had the decency to quickly throw on some shoes before he'd slammed the door behind him. What had happened? Why did he have to feel this? Why did his heart feel the need to betray him while he still felt exceptionally strong about how things had been between him and Lisa - before he knew her secret of course. Jack had been… Jack, naturally. But the way his heart beat out of his chest when he came too close, scared the living hell out of him. No one had ever made him feel like that, Lisa hadn't, nor had his past girlfriends made him feel like everything would be marvellous and nothing could go wrong. Now he found someone that made him feel exceptionally, but he couldn't face the truth about it ever happening. He knew Jack was single, he hadn't even hooked up with anybody during the time they'd been friends, but he couldn't just assume Jack would want this. He didn't even know for sure that he wanted this himself. Yes, he'd been attracted to men in his youth, if he was honest with himself. But never had he imagined being in an actual relationship with one. But even if he accepted the fact that yes, he liked men just as much as he liked women, would that even mean Jack would. He let out a deep sigh as he lowered himself onto the damp grass just as a rabbit decided the hop past him. He smiled at the animal who had no idea how complicated his life could actually be. There had been a time when everything had seemed pretty simple, wake up, go to work, eat, pay attention to girlfriend, go home, eat, sleep. Of course, there would've been days when the usual things would differ, but even then it seemed pretty simple. Now his whole life turned into a mess just because he'd found his ex fucking with some dude in their bed.

"I just want to kiss him." He whispered to himself as no one else was around him to hear, maybe the rabbit would notice him talking but it wasn't like he or she would understand what he was saying. Maybe if he kissed Jack he would get it out of his system and he could go on living like he'd done before feelings on his side started to develop. But then, of course, there was the off chance that Jack wanted nothing to do with him anymore and wanted him out of the house immediately. Then there also was the chance - he didn't dare hope it - that Jack actually liked him and something would spark from then on. When had his life become this difficult?

-0O0-

When Ianto came home that day - to a frantic Jack, who immediately begged him where he went - he'd made up his mind about his situation. Armed with a camping bed he'd stood in front of the door and rang the bell. If he'd actually remembered to take his keys then he wouldn't have to do this. When Jack opened the door he immediately flung himself around his neck. After a few minutes, he'd succeeded in getting them both inside where the prying eyes of their neighbours disappeared.

"What's this?" Jack asked him after he'd finally reassured him that he'd been safe the whole time and nothing was wrong with him.

"It's a camping bed, as you can see." He answered.

"But why is it here?" Jack replied only seconds later. His eyes were full of confusion as he stared at the folded iron bed in a green bag where he'd put it against the wall.

"Because I'm going to sleep on it." He declared. Jack looked up, shocked, and seemed like a loss for words.

" But why? Things are going good right? We're sharing a bed, why would you need this contraption?" He started to fidget with his thumbs while he waited for Jack to finish. He'd rehearsed his speech quite a few times already when he'd been on his way home. Since when did he think of Jack's place as home? Doesn't matter.

" It's a bit crowded, don't you think? I know I've said I'd stay until I've found somewhere else, and that's what I promise, I need to get my own place. Start acting like an adult again, if I ever did that in the first place." Disappointed Jack turned around. He could still hear a silent "Oh." Coming from his mouth as he walked away and locked himself into the bathroom. Defeated he'd watched Jack walk away from him. He'd known this day would come, but did he really want it?

-0O0-

It had been the beginning of the end. Ever since Ianto had come back with that damned bed three weeks ago - which he placed every night in the living room - they'd become more distant from one another. His heart and mind, his every fibre, still longed for the younger man with everything he did, but deep down he'd accepted that it would never happen. Ianto would move on and forget him. Like he should.

Mornings were spent together in awkward silence, neither one saying a word. More than once he'd stared longingly at him while he was eating his toast, reading the paper or doing anything else. He only hurt himself more by keeping faith in the things that would never be. His hands shook when he stood up, he'd been feeling rather sickly ever since he'd woken up. Even though he stood firmly on his feet, he took his plate with only a half-eaten sandwich and a cold, untouched cup of coffee in his hands and made his way towards the kitchen counter. The only thing he hadn't counted on was for his knees to give out and end up flat on his face on the cold floor.

"JACK!" He heard Ianto scream from somewhere above him. Some sort of liquid was slowly spreading across the floor and towards his face. His head hurt as he felt cold hands grip his arms and he could still hear the ringing of the porcelain crashing down on the ground and breaking into a thousand tiny pieces.

"Jack! Are you alright? Jack talk to me!" Ianto's voice drifted towards him. It felt so surreal. His mind made him think that he was in a completely different world than Ianto was in.

And then everything went black.

When he woke up again it was somewhere completely else than where he'd been before he'd lost his consciousness. He'd had his eyes still closed, but he could hear Ianto's distressed voice talking to someone.

''Judie, yes, hi, I know, I'm not going to make it today. Yes I know I should've called earlier, but something just happened to my housemate. I need to make sure he's okay first. Yes, but I don't think he has any family left. Of course, that's awful, but I'll try to be there tomorrow. Yeah, thanks I'll tell him.'' He could only hear what Ianto was saying but he could figure out what was said on the other end of the line. His head was throbbing and his stomach felt queasy, sweat was covering his forehead and a shiver ran through his body. He couldn't remember when it had been the last time since he'd been sick. The only thing he'd remembered was back in his original timeline when his daughter came down with something and infected them all.

''Ianto?'' he crooked when he opened his eyes. Alarmed, the young man turned around on his spot, his face pale and panic-stricken when his long legs made it to him in no time.

''Jack, how're you feeling?'' He didn't know what to think, one moment they were ignoring one another and now it seemed like nothing happened.

''Shit Jack, you're burning!'' He spat out after he'd placed his hand on top of his head.

''Am I? How late is it? Has Milly already gone to school?'' He quickly asked. He couldn't remember hearing her soft footfalls through the house.

''Who's Milly?'' Ianto asked him, confused. His brow raised towards his hairline. He could hear the song of the wind and the sea, so calming, so beautiful. The only thing he wanted was to cover his feet in the sand and see his husband play with their Milly.

''My daughter, haven't you met her? She must be around here somewhere.'' He said and tried to raise himself up, but was pushed back down by Ianto's hand.

''Don't you dare get up, I've gone through enough trouble dragging you up here.'' He told him darkly. What was going on? He was fine, wasn't he? Bit queasy but that was all.

''I'm fine, let me go.''

''No, Jack! You're far from fine, you collapsed! You're burning and clearly hallucinating.'' Ianto argued.

''Just let me go.''

A/N: Hope you liked it and please leave a review.

XXXFredAndGeorgeForever