CHAPTER 20: FREEDOM BECOMES YOU
"You are built of danger and adventure and I
Feel privileged to be privy in the making
Of a Goddess. Not because of your beauty.
But because freedom becomes you."
(Paris to Helen as They Sail to Troy, Nikita Gill)
He doesn't look to make sure Kagome is far enough away before leaping back into the fray, just trusts that she is strong enough to raise a barrier in time should the need arise for one. For he knows that he must end this battle decisively, without there being any room for doubt or time to reason. Here, on their father's lands, at the foot of his seat of power, Sesshomaru has the advantage. The power courses through him like a tidal wave rushing in after the tide has hurried out. He can feel it waking up as it has not in months and months, like a sleeping beast blinking its eyes open.
The reason, he is sure, is because he has never before been so close to fulfilling his father's wishes and naming a lady of western lands. But, though he desires that greatly, the fact that there has been no formal ceremony, no asked and answered mating ceremony, means that, while lifting its curious head, the beast that is his power is still not wholly his anymore. Some of it has poked and prodded at the next best vessel, at his brother, seen what others there are to harness its strength. So though his little brother does not know it, more than ever before, some of their father's great power is roiling in his veins.
His missing arm is a disadvantage he had overcome years ago, with wit and wile and sheer strength. But now, coupled with the loss of vision on his right side, it was a loss he felt keenly. He had no arm with which to block his brother's blows as they rained like hail on his blind side. The constant dance and retreat grated on his pride, as did the glee his brother clearly had in making it happen.
But Rin was behind him, no doubt terrified and scared and he would not leave her alone. And Kagome was right there, watching their battle with wide, nervous eyes. He knew that she cared for him, as she had cared for no other man. But he also knew that her bond with his brother was something special. That, no matter how much his brother was being an impetuous child right now, Kagome cared for him and would not want to ruin their friendship over this.
So while he knew he could not kill his brother if he ever wanted to slip in a bed that he and Kagome shared again, he knew that he had to end this in a finite and absolute manner.
"Stop gathering wool and fight me, Sesshomaru!" He swung his blade in a low, wide arc, sending up a cloud of debris and dust at his face.
He jumped backwards to avoid the obstruction and salvage his one good eye. "Are you really too stupid to see that Kagome does not wish this?" He senses his brother springing forward in the dust cloud and lifts Tokijin to block him. There is a flurry of dodges and blocks. When there is a swoosh of air from his left side, he twirls to the side and his brother's attempted swipe and the swing goes whizzing by, missing him by mere inches.
"And you're so good at doing what a miko says?" Inuyasha snarls at him as their swords meet in a clang of steel on steel. "Why do you even give a fuck what she wants?" Their faces are mere inches from each other, so Sesshomaru can clearly see the bewilderment swirling in his eyes, can see that he is honestly confused more than he is angry by the situation. But his brother never was very good at understanding his own thoughts.
"Because she is worth it." They strain against each other, neither wanting to be the first to pull away, Sesshomaru unwilling to kill his brother, and Inuyasha without the strength to push any farther forward. His next question is flavored with his own confusion that his brother cannot see what he can see. "Are you so blind to that?"
"Of course I'm not!" His voice is ragged with anger and doubt.
"Then you will accept that I must end this fight before I damage you irreparably and cause her undo duress." And with that, he does something completely unexpected, something that his little brother never would have expected of his brother, the cool and aloof Lord of the Western Lands. With that, Sesshomaru rears back his head, and then slams his forehead into his brother's with every ounce of strength he has. There's a splash of blood and then the two fall apart.
Stars streak across his vision like painful comets, but he forces himself to remain standing, sword held in a white-knuckled grip. He hears his brother stumble backwards, hears Tetsaiga slam into the earth with a ground-rattling thud, then a whoosh as it assumes its less deadly form. There is a pitter-patter of footsteps rushing up to him and he knows it is Kagome even before he hears her ask if everyone is alright.
"K-Kagome?" Inuyasha's voice, as he falls to his knees, is so lost it is almost tragic.
As he blinks his vision clear, he sees her step forward and though he wishes to pull her back, to step between her and his brother, he is intelligent enough to know that, unless they work out what it between them, this will never be over. So he adjusts his stance, raises his sword just slightly to let his brother knows that if he takes one wrong move it will be his last, and lets her go. Over the ridge on the road, he can made out a pair of figures hurrying forward. From the weapons he recognizes them as Kagome's companions.
"Inuyasha," she says, her voice wavering with emotion. She reaches out a hand – a hand that Sesshomaru is shocked to see is glowing with a soft, spiritual light – and rests it on top of his bleeding head. He leans into the touch like a dog starved for affection. When the glow fades, the injury is a thing of the past and all that remains are the bloodstains. "Are you alright?"
"Tch." He shifts so he is sitting cross-legged in front of her. "Why do you even care?"
She blinks, hurt in her eyes. "Of course I care!"
"Then why are you here?" His voice cracks at the end. There is more than one question layered in his voice. Why are you here with him? Why did you leave me?
"Why do you follow Kikyo?" She reaches out to place a soft hand on his knee, stilling what would have no doubt been an impressive tirade. "Because you are about her."
"So what are you saying… you care about him?"
Sesshomaru school his face into a stoic mask, even as he turns to rigid ice on the inside waiting for her answer. "Yes… I do." His shoulders slump in relief at her admission, even as she continues. "Inuyasha. You love Kikyo." She holds up a hand to continue when he would have interrupted. "It's alright. I've always known that, I just don't think I realized how… much you loved her." She giggled. "It makes you crazy, but that's okay." She reaches out to hold his face in her hands, his eyes are wide as they stare at her. "It's okay to be jealous of someone else's happiness, people are like that, humans are like that. I was jealous that Kikyo made you happy, but your happiness was more important to me than anything else, so I let you go. That doesn't mean you can't be happy, too. It just means you have to work a little harder for it still."
Before he could answer, a pair of overlapping voices calls out her name. While Sesshomaru keeps a wary eye on his brother, tow heads swivel in the direction of the sound. Kagome lights up and scrambles to her feet. "Sango! Miroku!" She rushes forward to hug the demon slayer.
"Lady Kagome," the monk says, when the women release one other, "I am pleased that Koga was correct and you are unharmed." Kagome laughs and reaches out to hug him, too. "Though if all our reunions could be like this you are welcome to wander off whenever you wish." His hand strays lower, but stills abruptly when a low, rumbling growl breaks through their greeting. The new pair turned shocked gazes to Inuyasha, who just rolls his eyes and points to his brother. Miroku's hands are suddenly elsewhere, though Sesshomaru watches him with a narrow-eyed gaze for another long moment. "Um, yes, well, anyway…" The monk babbles, stepping more behind Sango, who looks dutifully exasperated. "We're here to help?" His sweeping glance takes in the blood on Inuyasha hair, the scar and claw marks on Sesshomaru's face, the obvious signs of battle in the area.
"We're good now, guys!" She turns and arches an eyebrow at the two brothers. "Right?"
What more can they both do but nod in agreement?
"So Inuyasha isn't going to kill anyone?" The slayer casts the hanyou a side-eyed glance.
"Tch. As if I care about any of this shit," Inuyasha mutters, crossing his arms, and pretending his temper tantrum had never happened. His eyes are gazing into the distance, his mind seemed far away. "What difference is it to me if the wench is happy here with this pompous ass?"
Her friends turn to her immediately. "So… you are happy here, then?" Sango asked, eying Sesshomaru warily.
Her smile, bright and blinding, is all the answer they need.