Back To Us

A/N: This is a ficlet for Day 7 (Anything Goes) of our Richonne Fanfiction Appreciation Week (RFAW). Michonne is having some difficulty getting back into Rick's good graces after a disagreement. Dedicated to Zeejack.

Michonne stares at herself in the mirror still wondering what prompted her to behave so selfishly. She sighs as she replays the events over in her head and moves from the bathroom to the bedroom only to encounter the awkwardness of the bed. Her side is rumpled but Rick's is not as he has been sleeping in the guest bedroom.

She sits down with a heavy heart wondering how she will make this up to him. She was so shocked when he tossed the contraceptives on the bed that she was rendered speechless. His anger made her angry so she lashed out at him without really considering the consequences.

Months ago, they had talked about getting pregnant. At least, Rick talked about it and she had listened. The hope in his voice, the excitement in his body language only prompted her to agree with his plans. How could she crush him and tell him she didn't want any more children? She was content with their little family. She knows now how wrong she was, but in an effort to keep him happy she secretly continued to use the contraceptives to prevent getting pregnant, but told him she had stopped. She figured after a couple of failed attempts, he'd give up and never know how she had deceived him.

She's not even sure how he found the contraceptives, but he did and he confronted her. Instead of being ashamed at being found out and caught, she got defensive and spouted off reasons for them not to have a baby. After her tirade, her husband looked so dejected and defeated that it broke her heart. Before she could even attempt to apologize, he told her that he would have never deceived her like that and he walked away.

That was two nights ago and Michonne is at a loss. She has tried to talk with him but he freezes her out or walks away from her. She won't dare attempt to talk with him while they're working but that looks like it may be her only alternative.

The next day, she enlists Maggie's help in order to "trap" Rick at the constables' office so he would be forced to talk to her. Her friend advises her against it.

"Just let him have his space and he'll talk to you when he's ready," Maggie states as they walk along the street slowly.

"I know but it's been two days. We shouldn't let this go on indefinitely," Michonne returns.

"What did you do? I've only seen Rick this closed off once before so you must have really hurt him," Maggie observes.

Michonne's heart falters as Maggie's words seep in, hoping her friend won't pursue the reason Rick is hurt. "That's why I have to make this right. I never meant to hurt him. I should've talked to him and told him what I was feeling."

"Well, good luck." Maggie watches as Michonne enters the office. She then wedges a two by four against the door, hoping Rick doesn't tear the door down in his attempt to get away from his wife. She peeps inside for only a second, noting to check back in one hour.

As soon as Rick sees Michonne entering the office, he grabs his gun belt in an attempt to leave, muttering "Perimeter check" as he goes for the exit. He smashes into the door when it doesn't open and looks back cautiously to see if his wife had noticed his clumsiness. He tries again, then steps back and looks at the door strangely.

"Can we talk….please?" Michonne asks.

Rick narrows his eyes as he turns toward her. "What did you do to the door?"

"I had Maggie block it so we could talk. Please, Rick," she implores.

He shakes his head as he looks down at his boots. When he lifts his head, Michonne can see that determined glare in his eyes and knows that won't bode well. A flinch of his nose has her running towards the exit and placing her body in front of it. Otherwise, he probably would have kicked it down.

"I want you to move away from the door," Rick states quietly.

Michonne decides to ignore him and just starts talking. "I never meant to hurt you. I know I was wrong for lying and I'm so sorry. A part of me wants a baby and a part of me can't let go of what happened. I…..we're doing so well with just you and me and Carl and Judith. I don't want that to change. I know that's selfish but it's the truth." She takes a deep breath and releases it. "I want to start over. If you're still willing, then I want to try….just to see if it happens. If it does, that just means it was meant to be, right?"

Rick turns his back toward her and she is afraid it will only be more of the same. She makes a move toward him and stops when she hears his voice.

"I didn't think I had to worry about lies and deception with you. I had more than my share in my first marriage and I won't tolerate it again, Michonne. I won't."

"And you don't have to. I messed up…..badly and I'm sorry. Can you at least try to forgive me?" Her lips start to tremble as her emotions overtake her. "I miss you."

He turns to face her, averting his eyes quickly as he can't stand to see her cry. "You should've talked to me. Told me what you were feeling. I would've been disappointed but I would've understood. Instead you chose to deceive me. Now I have to wonder if you'd deceive me about something else."

"I know I deserve that, but you know you can trust me. I made a mistake and my heart is breaking because of it. We can come back from this. Just tell me what to do," Michonne pleads.

Rick wants to give in more than anything but he can't forgive her right now. Not for making him feel the exact same way Lori made him feel. He thought that type of hurt was behind him and he knows why this hurts more than anything else. He loves and trusts Michonne with his entire being and for her to betray that love and trust over something that would only provide even more proof of their love is too much for him to comprehend.

"I need some more time," he tells her sadly.