"Target aquired, sensei!" Sasuke reports through her headset.
"Confirm a ribbon on the target's left ear that reads 'Tora'," orders Kakashi sensei.
"Confirmed," says Sasuke, taking her time because watching Naruto get scratched by the angry kitty is funny.
Team Seven reconvenes with Kakashi and heads to the Kage tower to deliver the retrieved pet. The cat's owner, the Daimyo of the Land of Fire's wife, squeezes the ever-living daylights out of poor Tora once the cat is back in her possession. Sasuke makes a mental note to let the cat get away next time. And she is sure there will be a next time. When Sasuke finally gets her own kitty, she is not going to treat it like that.
"Here's the payment for your mission," a random desk-worker hands kakashi their team's cut of the fee.
Sasuke wonders if her parents will make her invest it in the bank or if she will be allowed to do whatever she wants with it.
"Now, Team Seven," says the Hokage, clearing his throat to get their attention. "There is an old lady who wants help with her groceries-"
"And her dog too," mutters Naruto. "We did that one last week."
"Shh! It might be a different old lady," whispers Kakashi.
"It's the same one," smiles the Hokage. "I see you remember her. She will be pleased. You did such a wonderful job last time that she specifically requested you."
"Lord Hokage, can we please do something more exciting?" asks Naruto.
"You do not qualify for any mission above D Rank, I'm afraid," says the Hokage. "You need to get more experience before you can do C Rank missions."
Sasuke sighs, resigning herself to her fate. She is vaguely aware of Naruto groaning in defeat and Madoka pulling a face. Kakashi looks at the three genins and then turns back to the Hokage. "Lord Hokage," says Kakashi. "Might we have a C Rank? I know it seems a little premature, but I'm just as bored as they are."
"Please Grandpa Hokage?" adds Naruto. "I don't even care if it's the easiest C Rank - anything will do!"
"Alright," agrees the Hokage. "We do have a bridge builder who wants an escort home."
"That'll do nicely," agrees Kakashi instantly.
"Good, send the client in," orders the Hokage.
The man who walks in looks to Sasuke like the typical middle-aged drunks her dad drags into the police station every night. Except he is only half finished the bottle of alcohol in his hand, and therefore is nowhere near as drunk as the drunks Sasuke usually sees getting dragged into the police station to sleep it off.
The drunk stares at Team Seven in annoyance and disbelief. "Are you serious? These three little kids are ninjas? Seriously, how old is the midget? Ten?"
"Oh he is twelve," says The Hokage. "There was an incident when he was little that set his growth back quite a bit."
"Whaddaya mean: when he was little? He's still little!" grumbles the drunk.
"That's not very nice!" protests Naruto, offended.
"Ignore him, he's drunk," whispers Sasuke to Naruto, too shy to say it louder, but too spiteful of the rude drunk to not say it.
"Oh, right, he's drunk and disorderly, as your dad would say," giggles Naruto
Sasuke bristles indignantly. Why is Naruto so friendly with Sasuke's dad, when she can hardly hold a conversation with the man? How come everyone in the clan likes Naruto so much, anyway? It's like how they dote on The Little Brother…
"What did you say, midget?" demands the drunk, getting right up in Naruto's face.
"Sasuke said it first!" accuses Naruto, pointing accusingly at Sasuke.
"Sasuke?" says the drunk. "Doesn't your father know any girl's names?"
Sasuke blushes and looks down at the floor.
"Shall we get on with the mission?" Kakashi interrupts, all crisp and professional.
"Woho! Road Trip!" Naruto yells, bouncing up and down excitedly as Team Seven assembles at the Gates of Konoha to escort the bridge builder Tazuna to the Land of Waves.
Madoka is surprised when Iruka sensei turns up, but what surprises him even more is that Iruka sensei completely ignores Sasuke and Madoka, who were in his Academy class and heads straight to Naruto. There are two old people who look like they are in their sixties with him. The man has glasses and the woman has a phoenix sitting on her shoulder.
"Naruto, you forgot Sparky!" the woman says, transferring the fiery bird to Naruto's shoulder.
"But what if Sparky gets lost or…" Naruto starts to protest.
"Take Sparky," says the man firmly. "He only listens to you - he'd probably only go after you once he realized you'd gone out of the village anyway. Remember what happened when Hinata left the village for a few days?"
"Sparkles followed her," says Naruto in a defeated tone. "You're right, I better take Sparky."
"Naruto," says Iruka sensei seriously. "Remember what I said about the final test?"
"Yes?" Naruto sounds unsure.
"That rule still applies for this mission."
"Oh." Naruto seems very sad. "But what if I need help with fuuinjutsu?"
"Asks Kakashi," says Iruka. "He knows more than your average Leaf Ninja."
"Why me?" asks Kakashi sensei, pointing to himself with a look of genuine confusion on his face.
"Because you are currently in charge of Naruto's education," grins Iruka a little too cruelly. "Have fun!"
Kakashi sensei just stares at Iruka sensei with a 'seriously dude?' expression on the part of his face Madoka an actually see.
"Yeah, good luck with that," adds the old lady.
The old man is grinning like he is in on a joke that he is unaware everybody else is privy to. "Have fun on your mission, Naruto," the man says, a slightly ditzy expression on his (still grinning) face.
"I will, Grandpa!" Naruto grins back, his grin identical except mischievous instead of ditzy.
So the old man is Naruto's Grandpa, Madoka muses. Then the old lady must be his Grandma.
Unknowingly confirming Madoka's guess, the old Lady sternly tells Kakashi, "You make sure Naruto brushes his hair. He has an unfortunate habit of forgetting."
"What do you think I am, a baby-sitter?" demands Kakashi sensei. "Come on, guys, we're leaving."
"'Bout time," grumbles Tazuna. "I have a bridge to build, remember?"
"Oh, that's right we're supposed to be guarding that little crap-head," Naruto grumbles.
"Naruto watch your mouth!" snaps Iruka sensei.
"Yes, niisan," Naruto says automatically.
Kakashi sensei and Tazuna have already started walking away. Madoka grabs Naruto by the collar and drags him after them, saying, "Come on, Naruto!"
"Oh, hi Madoka," says Iruka sensei, as if he literally just noticed Madoka is there. "Oh, you're here too, Sasuke. Have fun escorting the obviously lying bridge-builder. And watch out for rogue ninjas."
"But it's a C mission," says Madoka. "We won't meet any rogue ninjas!"
"Of course you won't," nods Iruka reasonably. "Look out for assassins."
"Don't worry, Iruka niisan!" Naruto calls back cheerfully. "If we meet any assassins I'll make sure I ask who hired them!"
"Maybe they'll meet your girlfriend," teases Naruto's Grandpa, nudging Iruka sensei with his elbow.
Madoka glances back to see Iruka sensei turning bright red. Does Iruka sensei have a crush on an assassin? It would explain why he's still single…
Madoka releases Naruto from his grasp and hurries to catch up with Kakashi sensei and Tazuna. Sasuke and Naruto follow closely behind. "Hey Tazuna, you're from the Land of Waves, right? Aren't there any nina there?"
"No, Madoka," Kakashi sensei replies. "Most lands have their own villages, but the land of waves never had its own because it was essentially sandwiched between the Hidden Whirlpool and the Hidden Leaf, and thus had no need for shinobi of its own due to peace treaties with those two villages."
"But the Hidden Whirlpool was destroyed, and now the Land of Waves is stuck between the Mist and the Leaf," Naruto adds. "So if we run into any foreign ninjas, they will be Mist, right Kakashi sensei?"
"Exactly right," nods Kakashi sensei. "However, there is more to it than that. In the nations where there are shinobi villages, the government and the shinobi hold equal status. As a result, the larger and more prosperous the country, the larger the shinobi - or 'Hidden' - village. Small island nations like the Wave are not considered practical bases for a shinobi village, nor would such a small nation be able to support one.
"The five biggest shinobi villages are the Hidden Stone in the Land of Earth, the Hidden Sand in the Land of Wind, the Hidden Leaf in the Land of Fire, the Hidden Cloud in the Land of Lightning and the Hidden Mist in the Land of Mist and Fog. These five villages and their nations are known as the Five Great Shinobi Nations. They are the only lands in which the shinobi leaders call themselves Kage, or shadow: in the Land of Earth is the Tsuchikage, in the Land of Wind is the Kazekage, in the Land of Fire is the Hokage, in the land of Lightning is the Raikage and in the Land of Mist and Fog is the Mizukage. They are the supreme commanders of thousands of Shinobi across their own nations and the nations allied with them."
"Are you kidding me?" grumbles Madoka. "Lord Third can't be that great. He's just an old fart who loves lecturing us."
"Make no mistake, in a fight between Lord Third and any of the Current Kage, Lord Hokage would win over all of them," says Kakashi. "Just maybe not if he fought them all at the same time. The only time when all four of the other shinobi nations teamed up was when they wiped out the Hidden Whirlpool. It took three quarters of their forces to destroy the Whirlpool while the other third held back the Leaf's rescue army. Barely any of the Whirlpool citizens survived."
"That seems a bit far-fetched," mutters Madoka.
"Ask Karin's mum," says Naruto. "Or Iruka sensei. They survived the destruction of the Whirlpool."
Madoka skirts around a puddle as he replies, "What about your parents? You're an Uzumaki, aren't you?"
"Naruto's parentage is an S Rank secret," says Kakashi sensei, halting in the middle of the path.
Madoka turns around to see two foreign shinobi rise out of the puddle he just passed. The two shinobi throw chains around Kakashi, and before anyone can react, they slice him into pieces. The pieces of Kakashi sensei fall to the ground, kicking up a lot of dust clouds.
Then the two foreign shinobi turn their attention to Madoka and his teammates.