"Sorry I'm late," says Kakashi sensei as he arrives at Team Seven's meeting place three hours late. "I got lost on the road of life."
"Liar!" snaps Madoka, impatiently. "Did you see Naruto on your way here? We haven't seen him all morning."
"No, I haven't seen Naruto today," says Kakashi sensei. "But it's unacceptable to be later than me."
Sasuke isn't sure, but it looks like Kakashi sensei is proud that Naruto is later than him.
Naruto shunshins into the middle of the gathered members of Team Seven and says, "Sorry I'm late, Shisui was teaching me how to shunshin."
"Naruto, if you'd told me you didn't know how to shunshin I would have taught you," says Kakashi sensei. "It is my job to teach you, after all."
"Shisui is better at it than you," shrugs Naruto.
Sasuke is filled with jealousy. Naruto got one-on-one training with Shisui. She pouts and glares at a nearby tree.
"I don't get paid enough for this," mutters Kakashi sensei.
"Wait, you get paid to teach us?"
"No, and that right there is the problem."
"Oh," Naruto appears to be thinking hard. "Then how do you support your family?" he asks.
"Mission money," says Kakashi. "That and both myself and my wife used to do SS Rank missions on a monthly basis when we were in ANBU, so we have a LOT of money left over from back then. SS Rank missions will either make you rich or dead."
"You were in ANBU?" asks Madoka, amazed.
"Yes, but that's an open secret," says Kakashi sensei.
"Open secret…?"
"Everyone knows, but no one is supposed to."
"HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN!?"
"This is a village full of shinobi. Do you honestly think we don't go snooping around each other's lives?"
"Oh, look!" says Naruto, pointing up at the sky. "Isn't that a summoning hawk?"
The rest of the team look up at the sky. The hawk, who is looking down at the ground below it, circles three times directly above them and flies away. "Well, it looks like I've been summoned to the Hokage tower," says Kakashi sensei. "See ya!" he shunshins away.
"But he just got here!" complains Madoka.
"See, this is why I train with Shisui," says Naruto.
Sasuke feels a stab of jealousy.
"Wait, wait, wait," says Madoka, making 'hold up, a minute' motions with his hands. "Shisui? As in Shisui of the Shunshin? Shisui who is feared by entire nations? That Shisui?"
Naruto frowns at Madoka. "What are you talking about? I meant my pranking buddy Shisui."
"EH?" Madoka's expression is priceless.
"I thought you meant my big sister's boyfriend, Shisui," Sasuke says, and is rewarded by Madoka making an even more hilarious expression. Confusing Madoka is fun.
A square rock with eyes and six legs creeps up behind Naruto. Naruto eyes it out of the corner of his eyes and walks away from it. The rock follows Naruto. Naruto walks a little faster. The rock walks a little faster too. Naruto tries running. The rock stands up and runs after him, three pairs of little legs scrambling to keep up. Naruto whips around and glares at the rock, which hunkers down and pretends it never moved. "Alright, come out!" orders Naruto. "That disguise is terrible! Rocks aren't square!"
"Aw, you figured it out!" says the rock. "You are clever, boss." Three little kids crawl out from under the rock, which seems to be made of cardboard.
"I'm Moegi!" says the little girl, striking a pose.
"I'm Udon!" says the boy with glasses and a glob of snot hanging out of his nose, mirroring the girl's pose.
"And I'm Konohamaru!" says the boy with the scarf. "Together we are…"
"The Konohamaru Trio!" the three kids say in unison, as the scarf boy strikes a pose of his own.
"You guys again?" groans Naruto. "Stop following me around, 'tetabayo!"
"But you are our boss!" protests Konohamaru, crossing his arms and trying to play it cool. "We must follow you!"
"Whatever," Naruto rolls his eyes. "What's with the goggles?"
"You used to wear goggles!" says Konohamaru. "So we are copying you!"
"Riiiiiight," says Naruto, skeptically. Sasuke can tell he doesn't want these kids around right now.
"Whadda ya mean by that?" demands Konohamaru, angrily. "Do you think you're better than us, or something?"
"Well yeah," says Naruto. "What do you want?"
"You promised you'd play with us today!" whines Konohamaru.
"I have to train first!" Naruto snaps Naruto.
"What are you doing, playing with little kids, anyway?" demands Madoka, glaring at Naruto.
"Hey boss?" asks Konohamaru. "Who's the babe with the pink hair?"
Sasuke claps both of her hands over her mouth, trying not to simultaneously scream and laugh.
"I. Am. A. BOY!" Grinds out Madoka, stomping towards Naruto and his little sidekicks.
"He's sorry!" Naruto tries to apologize for Konohamaru. "It was an honest mistake! I mean, with your long, pink hair anyone might mistake you for a girl at first!"
"What do do you mean, 'ANYONE'?" Madoka demands, cracking his knuckles. "Did YOU think I was a girl at any point?"
"Well maybe…" squeaks Naruto. "But then I saw your ugly face…"
"RUN BOSS!" Konohamaru yells, turning and running for his life. His posse follows.
Madoka cracks his neck.
Naruto screams like a little girl and runs after the Konohamaru trio. Madoka chases after him. Sasuke follows via the trees, wanting to stay out of it, but curious to see how things will play out.
A short way down the street, Konohamaru runs headlong into a boy wearing an ugly black jumpsuit, a hat that makes him look like a kitty and tacky purple face paint. Sasuke smirks, thinking Shino could easily kick this idiot's ass. The stupid-looking jumpsuit boy picks Konohamaru up by his scarf and says, "What do you think you're doing, punk?"
"Put me down!" yelps Konohamaru, struggling to get free.
"I don't like little kids," sneers the boy, holding Konohamaru up at eye level. "And you just pissed me off, so I'm gonna beat you real good."
"Put him down, now," orders Naruto, his voice cold as a fifty foot thick iceberg.
"Well look at that," sneers the boy. "There are more runts for me to beat up."
"Kankuro, put the kid down," says the blonde, pig-tailed girl standing behind the strange boy. "We don't want to cause trouble."
"Aw, come on, Temari," says the boy. "We've got plenty of time before he gets here. I wanna have some fun."
Sasuke sees Naruto pulling out a seal scroll and decides to take action. There is no way she is gonna let two ugly kids wearing Hidden Sand Headbands see Naruto at his best. If someone is going to shine in this situation, it is going to be SASUKE. Sasuke pulls a couple of stones out of her pocket and throws one, charged with a little chakra, at the ugly boy's hand. The boy yelps and drops Konohamaru.
"I wouldn't be trying to beat up the Hokage's grandson if I were you," says Sasuke intimidatingly. She knows she looks at least a little threatening, now that she doesn't wear a bow.
"Oh look," says the ugly sand boy. "Another punk for me to beat up."
Sasuke glares at him and crushes the rock in her hand to powder using chakra.
The ugly boy grins and takes the giant, wrapped thing off his back. The bandages wrapping the Thing begin to unwind, floating in the air in a most creepy fashion. Sasuke has to suppress a shudder of disgust. Ew! What is he, a zombie master?
"Woah, Kankuro!" the girl frowns in worry. "You shouldn't use The Crow for this!"
Crow…?
"Kankuro," says a gravelly voice from beside Sasuke. "Stop that right now. You are a disgrace to our village."