The opening day of the Chunin Exams dawns bright and clear. Sasuke's parents keep her home all day under Itachi's supervision in order to prevent her from entering the Exams. Sasuke is not too worried, since Naruto keeps backup equipment for the entire team sealed into the sleeves of his jacket and all she needs to do is turn up for the exam, since he has the equipment. The real problem is timing it right. If she leaves too soon, they will stop her from entering in time. If she leaves too late, she will miss the deadline. Sasuke bides her time patiently.
Eventually, Sasuke's mother takes Eizo out for his afternoon walk, leaving Sasuke alone with Itachi. Sasuke is plotting in her head how to convince Itachi to let her go to the exam when Shisui shunshins into the living room where Itachi is eating an entire cabbage and Sasuke is reading a novel she won't get grounded for reading.
"Sup!" Says Shisui. "Are your parents home?"
"Shisui, you know perfectly well they are not," says Itachi.
"Nice," says Shisui, and somehow slides under Itachi so that she is sitting on his lap. "Sasuke, you better hurry if you want to make the Chunin Exams on time."
"Sasuke isn't allowed to go because she is grounded."
"I will cover for you, kid," says Shisui.
"And I will feed your cat if you make it to the next round," adds Itachi. "Now go."
Sasuke knows they are just trying to get rid of her so they can be alone, but she doesn't care because she wants to do the chunin exam. So Sasuke shunshins out the window and makes a bee-line for the Academy.
She arrives to find Madoka and Naruto anxiously waiting for her.
"Thank goodness you are here!" says Naruto. "We were worried your parents wouldn't let you come. If you'd been any longer, I would've fetched you."
Sasuke had no idea her teammates wanted her there that much.
"After all," continues Naruto. "We need a full team of three to enter the exams. I know that from when Iruka niisan took it."
"How come Kakashi sensei didn't tell us that?" wonders Madoka.
Naruto shrugs. "Who cares, it's Kakashi sensei. He always has reasons he never shares until he thinks you'll learn something from them."
Team Seven heads into the Academy and starts the trek up to the third floor. On the second floor, they encounter a genjutsu and a huge kerfuffle. Room 201 has a genjutsu over it labeling it as room 301, and a bunch of genjutsu-susceptible idiots are trying to get in. However their path is blocked by two punks, one with spiky hair and a red nose and the other an idiot in a stupid-looking backpack.
"Hey Sasuke," whispers Naruto. "Didn't we only go up one flight of stairs? I mean, isn't this the second floor?"
"What do you mean, it's the second floor?" whispers Madoka. "The sign says…"
"Genjutsu," snaps Sasuke. "I thought you were a genjutsu type…"
"Shh!" hisses Naruto. "Not so loud. I wanna see how this will play out."
The three of them wade through the crowd of onlookers to where a boy in a dark green body suit is sitting on the floor with a bruise on his face. With his bowl cut and his giant eyebrows he is probably one of the ugliest people Sasuke has ever seen. However there is something about him that interests her. He looks like he is trying to hide his true power.
"Are you really planning on entering the Exam?" sneers red-nose."You have like, zero talent."
The boy rubs at his bruise but doesn't say anything.
"Why are you even bothering?" adds the other boy. "You'll fail, cause you're too green."
Sasuke nearly laughs out loud. But Uchihas don't laugh, or at least that's what one of her relatives told her. Or was it that Uchihas can't laugh? Either way, she doesn't want her dad to think even less of her for doing things Uchihas don't - or can't - do.
"Please just let us in!" begs a girl in a pink top, with buns in her hair.
Faster than most eyes can see, one of the boys hits the girl, sending her crashing to the ground.
"That's cruel," mutters one of the spectators.
Sasuke wonders if the girl could have dodged that.
"Is that so?" says the back-pack boy. "I'm just trying to save you some pain. We've failed these exams three times. We know what happens. You might end up dead, or crippled or reduced to a vegetable or you might get so traumatized you quit being a shinobi. It's better if weaklings like you quit while they're ahead."
Sasuke has had enough and pushes her way through the rest of the bystanders, making a point of walking right past the two boys. She wants to pick a fight with someone, and they are on her list.
"Oi, where do you think you're going, Blue?" says one of the boys.
"To the third floor," says Sasuke, and takes another step.
The boy grabs her shoulder and says, "This is the third floor, see the sign?"
Sasuke makes the sign for genjutsu release. "Release!" she breaks the jutsu and the sign changes back to 201. "No, it's the second floor." Then she turns to walk on up to the third floor.
The boy grins. "So you figured it out, huh. You must think you're so STRONG, right, Uchiha?"
Sasuke sends a spinning kick straight towards his head. Consider this fight picked. The boy responds with a kick of his own. And then the green bowl cut is right there, in between them, having stopped both their kicks. He is strong, and he is fast, but something is bothering Sasuke and she wants to know the answer. What is wrong with his chakra?
The spiky boy falls to the floor and Sasuke takes a step back. The green boy ignores them. He might be ugly, but DAMN, he's COOL.
"Hey, Lee," says a Hyuga boy, addressing the green kid. "You were the one who insisted we hide our power, so why did you do that?"
"But...But…" the green kid, Lee, tries to find some excuse and fails. Then he looks over at Madoka and walks up to him with a determined look on his face.
"Here we go again," sighs the pink top bun-head from earlier, facepalming.
What is he up to? Sasuke wonders.
"My name is Rock Lee," Lee introduces himself to Madoka. "You are beautiful, please go out with me!"
Sasuke forgets her Uchiha pride and laughs.
"What is so funny?" asks Lee.
"I'm sorry," says Madoka. "I'm not into guys. I just don't swing that way."
Lee looks confused. Sasuke keeps laughing. Naruto leans on Madoka's shoulder and slaps him on the chest, bubbling with mirth.
"Lee, that person is a boy," says the Hyuuga. Then he turns to Sasuke. "What is your name, Uchiha?"
"Shut up," says Sasuke. She does not like this boy.
"Hey," says Naruto, grinning and slapping the Hyuga on the back. "You're Hinata's mean cousin Neji!"
"Leave me alone," snaps Hinata's mean cousin Neji.
"Come on, let's go," says Madoka and, grabbing Sasuke and Naruto each by a hand, he pulls them down the hall.
Itachi and Shisui are cuddling, and making the most of being alone together. Suddenly, Itachi starts craving cucumbers. "Shisui," she says. "Get me a cucumber."
"Itachi, you hate cucumbers," says Shisui.
"I'm also pregnant with your baby," counters Itachi. "Now get me some cucumbers."
Shisui goes very, very pale. "What are we going to tell your father?"
"I don't know," shrugs Itachi. "But he'll probably kill you."
"Then let's tell him together!"
"He'll still kill you."
"Then let's get married before he finds out!"
"He's going to find out anyway."
"Please marry me, Itachi."
"Fine, but get me some cucumbers."
Shisui heads off to get some cucumbers and Itachi settles down to wait. While she is waiting, her father comes home from the Police Station. Shisui returns a few seconds later.
"Where are my cucumbers, Shisui?" demands Itachi, paying her father no mind.
"Here," says Shisui, holding out a grocery bag full of cucumbers. He looks terrified.
"Itachi does not like cucumbers," says Fugaku sternly.
Itachi starts blissfully munching her cucumbers.
"Well, um, I might as well tell you...um," Shisui stammers.
"What did you do?" demands Fugaku.
"We're getting married!" declares Shisui.
"Why?"
"What do you mean 'why'?"
"You two told me you were going to wait until you were both in your 20s. So WHY?"
Shisui blushes and doesn't say anything.
"You got her pregnant," says Fugaku flatly.
Itachi starts humming happily, still munching away on her cucumbers.
"I got her pregnant," says Shisui, drooping.
Fugaku crosses his arms angrily. "I thought YOU of all people would be smart enough to use a condom."
"But we DID use condoms!" protests Shisui. "We used condoms for the last two years! But ONE TIME we forgot, and now she's pregnant!"
Fugaku does not say anything for a few tense seconds. "What. Do. You. Mean. The. Last. TWO YEARS!?" Then he throws a punch at Shisui's head.
Shisui runs for his life and Fugaku chases after him.
Itachi continues eating, happy as a lark.