Chapter Ten
Ashes and Trust
The particles of ash, which the air was thick with, shone up bright in the beams of light that filtered through the many broken windows in the old abandoned factory. Officer Hopps and Wilde walked — their footsteps quiet for how silent it was — as they searched the first floor of the burnt remains of the building.
"It's kinda eerie. Don't you think?" asked the rabbit as she leaned down with a torch to examine the broken glass by one of the windows. "It's so quiet, and dark." Despite the fact the early morning sun was shining through the empty window frames, apart from where the light directly fell, the room was otherwise enshrouded in dark.
"You have a right to be scared..." Judy looked over her shoulder at Nick — his tone like the place itself — to see him behaving dramatically, a little overly so, in the darkness, with the left half of his face bathed in strong light. "It's the old ghost, you see. The mammal who first started Ladders and Ladders was insane. When the company was going down the slide, in debt beyond recovery, he hung himself... using one of his own unsold ladders." Nick stood tall and intimidating in the blackness of the room, and he started to slowly pace forwards, the light that was on his face disappearing, he became but a menacing silhouette... Judy was nearly half-impressed.
"And now," he continued, "they say his ghost wanders the factory, coaxing all who enter to take a ladder or two before they leave. Some do, but they all come to a terrible end; it's fine if they use the ladder in the daytime, but," with that he leapt forwards so he was towering over Judy, his paws high with his black claws glinting, while he bellowed, "but BOO, in the middle of the NIGHT!" He held that pose for several seconds as the rabbit watched him, nonplussed.
"Was even a word of that true?"
"No, Hopps," he shrugged, "not a word." They stood, or in Judy's case crouched, there for a few seconds, staring at each other. Nick returned to a normal pose, scratched his neck, then cleared his throat, "Find something?"
"Yes," she concluded while turning back to the shards, "look at this glass; it's all smashed just like the rest of the windows on this building, but this one has been smashed 'in'. The rest of the windows are smashed 'out', presumably from the heat of the fire. But I would say this has been broken by someone on the outside... and by looking at the patterns of the cracks, I'd say it was done with a single heavy impact, rather than intense heat."
"Something, like this?" Nick mused aloud, picking up a heavy, fist-sized object on which he had just stubbed his foot in the darkness. It was a rock. He rubbed the side of the rock between thumb and finger. In truth, the rock was an old brick, and a piece of the rubble crumbled off into his furry fingers.
"Yeah," said the rabbit, "that would do it. Can you gather anything from it?"
He crumbled off a little more of the blackened rubble — which was the cement attached to the brick — and looked closer at it, rolling it through his fingers. "It's old," he examined, "and quite a bit bigger than most building bricks."
"It's, for industrial use then?"
"I should think so. And..." he sniffed, then leaned closer into the brick and took another lungful, "a scent?" Judy watched with interest, and more than a little awe, at the fox's exceptional scent of smell — which was highly attuned, even by fox standards — as he turned the brick over in his paws. It was as though his nose acted on its own, while it moved across the brick to find a part of it which must have smelt particularly strong to that fine, strong nose, which was actually, Judy had realized one day, a very deep shade of purple... 'much like her eyes' as Nick had mentioned time and time on.
"Wait— I recognize..." His head recoiled harshly away from the rock, with his paw nearly dropping the scarred piece of brickness, while his expression of thoughts turned into a bewildered surprise. "Finnick?"
"For real? You have to be sure; we can't investigate further on just a possible hunch, especially when the scent could belong to any of a hundred other mamm—"
"Hopps," he interrupted firmly, "Fin has a very distinct smell… kind of a mix between testosterone and crack cocaïne." He turned the brick over in his paws. "This is definitely him."
"Finnick does drugs?"
"Carrots... me and Fin lived off the same income for years, and yet I have a decent flat in a nice part of town. And he lives in the back of a van. Where did you think his money went?"
"Ohh— I see." An uneasy silence fell. "Did... did you ev—"
"No, don't."
"Well, which, Nick? No you didn't, or no don't ask?"
"Just leave it, Carrots."
"Nick, look, what's in the past doesn't—"
"Judy." She stopped, instantly, and gazed up at his somber expression to see him slowly shake his head once from left to right, before his lips moved and he spoke again, his voice soft and controlled... but Judy could tell by his eyes how he was really feeling deep inside.
"All I want to say, for now, is that no good ever comes of drugs. It tore my family apart, it tore my life apart, and then, it tried to tare me apart." She stared, lost, in his emeralds. His eyes, which usually radiated such warmth and compassion, were cold and distant, and deeply-deeply hurt. There was so much pain concealed and locked up in those eyes at that moment that Judy felt a shiver run through her as a dozen dark thoughts flashed to the forefront of her mind.
Thoughts provoked by the words Nick had just spoken, and all of the possible implications thereof. She had often wondered about Nick's past and, clearly, had sub-consciously conjured a dozen of possibilities, which appeared 'almost confirmed' by what he had said, thus they became visualized before her. The thoughts of his past which passed through Judy's mind... and looking into the pained eyes of the fox to whom that exact past belonged to, it proved too much for the empathetic rabbit to manage.
She... she could not face him.
"Come on," she cut briskly, "lets go check out the 'point of origin'." She turned and headed towards the door, leaving before Nick could get a word out. Her pace was hurried but steady, and the way her head lowered slightly — to meet the back of her paw that was raised to wipe something off from her eyes — spoke volumes to Nick about how she had taken his behavior.
About as bad as I thought she would. Nick sighed. She is a 'very' emotional bunny.
He knew he should go to comfort her, and he would, at least soon. A minute was needed, just a little time on his own for him to calm, and then he would sort things out with Judy... but then, from some steps up the staircase, Nick heard a sound which almost broke his heart: A single, quiet, and suppressed sob.
Don't you dare, Nick, don't you dare 'take a minute. Judy needs you now. Go, go to her.
...
Judy could feel herself shivering, and knew that trying to take another step would be pointless, and so remained still, two thirds of the way up of the flight of stairs that crawled to the third floor. She sniffed loudly and raised a paw to wipe away yet another tear which was forming — she was going to start crying for real in a few seconds if composure was not to be met.
She couldn't stop the montage of images playing through her mind — things she didn't even have any proof to have had happened: the thought of young Nick, cowering and crying outside the Junior Ranger Scouts; the image of him standing alone at his parents' funeral; the sense of how lonely, depressed and hopeless life must have been for him as a teenager. The first time be broke the law, the first time he outright conned a good mammal out of their money, the first time he took drugs, if he ever did that is, the first night in a prison cell, the first...
Though these last points were less significant than the first, with 'his mother's funeral' outweighing 'the first time he conned', Judy knew that — under his impeccable mask of emotional stability — everything he had ever done in his early life: every con, lie and cheat; had chipped away at his self-respect... leaving him almost soulless.
Lost, unhappy, alone. Set to wonder the streets; forsaken in a crowd; lost in familiar territory and spending everyday telling himself life was good, and that he was happy just because he couldn't face the fact his life... was less then pointless. With these thoughts passing through her mind — such dark, terrible thoughts about the kind, sweet fox that she loved — it was no wonder Judy was now in tears.
...
The fox stood at the bottom of the staircase, looking up at the sight before him. His ear twitched as he heard her take in another sad sniff and then, after a long and silent sigh, he slowly climbed the path towards her.
...
Judy felt a touch on her shoulder, and knew instantly it was Nick — only he could be so gentle and tender — but a paw on the shoulder wasn't enough. She needed more, damn it... besides that 'Nick' needed more! She half-turned to face him, putting her paws around his waist and pressing her head into his chest. The fox reacted instantly and wrapped his arms full around her. The warmth of his body, his musky scent was almost unnaturally comforting to the rabbit.
And the warmth of the bunny body pressing against him, her sweet earthy smell provided a great deal of comfort to Nick too. Not letting go of his waist, Judy wiped her eyes against Nick's blue shirt. "How are y' hanging, little Bunbun?"
"Your life-story's sad," she muttered. Nick chuckled heartlessly.
"I know Hopps… believe me, I know… but it's the only one I've got. Besides," he added after a moment, pulling Judy just a little closer into him, "it may have started pretty badly, but it's improved a hell of a lot this last year or so."
"Anyway," she huffed, though already in a better mood than before, "of course I'm okay. It should be me asking you that."
"I know Jules," he said, raising a paw to caress the back of Judy's head, rubbing it in a soothing motion and loving the small contented hmmm she hummed at his doing so, quite unaware that the main reason she hmm'ed was because he had used that name again. His mood soured as he went back to what had caused her gloom in the first place... his past. There was something he had to tell her, now. He shied.
"Look, Judy, let me get this straight. You've known me more than long enough to know that I don't talk about my past... to anyone... ever. Most of the time it's simply because I don't trust them enough. I'm worried they'd mock me or something else stupid… otherwise there's just no need for them to know. But, for you it's… you know— it's different…" He looked down at her to see her tear-bleary amethysts looking back. Her eyes were wide and her pupils dilated. Her expression was mostly blank — as she listened closely, hanging on every word he spoke — but twitched with emotion, pure emotion, emotion she was feeling only for him and only because of him.
It was sweet, it was kind, it was patient, caring and understanding... and it reminded Nick a great deal of that moment on the Gondola... that moment when he first realized she cared for him, the first moment he realized he loved her.
"I... I do not 'not tell you' because I don't trust you or something," he continued through a complicated exhale, "I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone. But I 'don't tell you' because I don't want to hurt you, emotionally. I know I joke about it sometimes but you really are an emotional bunny, and I'd hate to see you tearing yourself apart for something that happened to me." His eyes tried to distract him from the next words but the bunny next to him made it impossible to do so, "Even with how I... how I feel a— a-about you,"
Damn it Nick, you're not even admitting how you feel to her and you're choking up... you're really gonna screw-up bad when you finally get the guts to tell her.
"I still don't want to recite parts of it willingly. So, you know, you don't want to know, even if you think you do. And I don't want to tell you so... shall we just leave it at that?"
Judy groaned just a little, then rubbed her forehead with the palm of her paw, before letting her head fall back against Nick's chest. "I duunnow, Nick," she said. "I can't think right at the moment; my head feels like it's been smashed with a mallet... and now my heart feels like it's been turned to lead." Judy breathed again, her tears all gone as she pushed her head firmer into his chest, which was soft and warm, even if it was covered with his shirt... she would've loved to feel how soft and warm his chest would've been without it tho.
Both felt much better than they had after their talk, and Nick's green eyes, again, were full of compassionate love as they leered towards the rabbit in his arms. Wrapping his arms closer around her, he raised the angle of her head slightly more and moved his muzzle a little closer to hers. "Well, I have something that'll lighten your mood." Judy gazed up, lost in the warmth of his emerald eyes. She felt her breath hitch and knew she was about to start shivering with the anticipation. Lowering her eyelids slightly, she allowed her lips to part — just a little — in preparation for what was surely to come...
... And then Nick ruined everything with his next two words, "A joke!"
The sweet little smile she was wearing fell... "Nick, now's really not the time to—"
"So, one day two carrots, who were best friends, were walking together down the road."
"Nick, I—"
"They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over."
"Nick, this really isn't—"
"The uninjured carrot called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able."
"You're not even listing to me, are—"
"The injured carrot was taken to emergency at the hospital and was rushed into surgery, and after a long and agonizing wait..."
She shied, "Well..?"
"The doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured carrot, I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."
"Oh, God, I know where this is going."
"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life!" At his laughter — and Judy's lack thereof — she turned to walk away from him. Nick laughed even louder at the scowl she wore, and clutched her closer to himself, leaning forwards to tussle at her ears.
Before he could to this, however, her elbow came back and introduced itself to his gut and his gut responded with making the fox bend double before the rabbit — and her elbow — marched off up the stairs... but, if anything, her reaction only amused him further and he found himself in the unusual situation of being hunched over with a paw to his chest in pain, whilst winded, and also laughing so much at the hilarity of the situation that he could hardly think.
Because his laughing showed no signs of stopping, Judy turned at the top of the stairs to shout, "Nick, for crying out loud, get a fluffing hold on yourself!"
"H-h-h-Hey!" Nick wheezed, short of breath, in part because of his profuse laughing and in part because of the blow to his stomach, "w-watch the language, F-F-Fluffbutt!"
...
Shortly after, both he and Judy were stood on the fourth floor and pulling away the crumbly and dirty pieces of wood in the center of the room, which had burnt down to the consistency of charcoal. This large pile of wood that was the point of origin, several feet across and several feet high, was where the most information about the fire could — supposedly — be found. With this in mind, they set about clearing the pile of ashiness, tugging away at the large heap in the center of the room to see if there was anything of interest beneath.
"You really expect to find anything in here?" Nick asked, pulling away yet another sizable piece of blackened charcoal, "we already found the incendiary device."
"Nick, we have to be thorougher with this," asserted Judy, pulling off a piece of burnt wood from the opposite side, "you heard what Bogo said, 'if we do a good job here, it'll help us get detective."
He pulled up another piece, and started lifting it towards him. "I know, it's just—" The wood, mere charcoal after the fire, splintered and then collapsed into him, enveloping him in a cloud of black ash. "Urghh! Urgh-no. I'm getting covered in this stuff, argh, God's sake!" He threw away what was left of the wood he was holding and started frantically patting and ruffing up his fur, trying to remove that which he could, which wasn't much. "Hopps, this grit has worked right down to my skin; have you got any clue how hard it is to shift grime embedded like this?"
"Nick," she interjected flatly, "I grew up on a farm."
Okay, fair point. Nick thought, before asking, "Well... well then how did you get clean?"
"Well, we all used communal showers back in Bunnyburrow. The best way to get clean was to have someone else with you to help you. We would wash one another's backs, scrub right down to the skin and help get up a good sud with the soap." She just dropped the next words in, an offpaw comment, as though it was nothing... "I'll come and have my shower with you, if you like, and give you a paw in getting clean."
The image which flashed into Nick's mind, it froze him.
He and Judy were stood in a tiled room — unmistakably a bathroom. Neither he nor Judy had any cloths on, but were none the less quite comfortable to stand against one another, their bodies pressing together in the hot, steamy room. They stood close, very close, beneath the shower head which bathed them in soft, watery heat. Nick tenderly wrapped his arms around Judy's neck to gently massage soap into her shoulders and back. Judy's small paws worked suds deeper into the fur on Nick's chest — the suds thickening — her paws moved lower, lower... looower.
"Nick? Niii~iiick? Nick!" Judy poked Nick in the chest for the fourth time, "Hey, Nick!" she called, louder than before. He blinked, then looked down at her.
Now, what's got his tail wagging like that? Judy thought coyly, fully aware of what must surely be going through Nick's mind, as she turned side-on from him to carry on clearing the burnt wood. She smiled at him, but he only gave her an odd stare in return. She thought for something to say, hoping to move on from the silence. Thinking quickly, she took in his appearance — the perfectly groomed fox Judy had seen, when she had opened the door that morning, was replaced with a scruffy one with patchy black fur, blunted nails, soot-embedded features and a tail which looked about as light and fluffy as if a bucket of water had splashed upon it.
"You know," she began, "that's quite a fashion scene you've got there, ol' Nickey boy!" Judy hoped that this comment would strike up a conversation, which would not only move them away from this silence, but also give them some fun banter to play around with whilst working. So long that Nick took the offer and engaged in the banter... which, as always, he did.
"It's the latest fashion, you know," he humoured her with an uppity voice and a 'too good for you' expression. "I can't expect you to keep up with it all — but black patches of soot and horribly matted fur is really 'in', this season. Did I tell you I've been asked to attend a fashion show this weekend? I'll have to clear it with my secretary, obviously. But I might attend."
Grinning, the rabbit went along with the performance, "If you're not too busy having your nails filed by one of the many foxy ladies you have your eye on at the moment."
Well, there is one foxy lady I like the look of. But in this instance 'fox' is only used metaphorically, because physically... she be a rabbit.
"Quite," he said, with little option to add anything else without openly admitting his affections for his partner of stunted height there and then. Picking up another piece of rubble, he set back to work as he continued his 'rich, arrogant, fashion-eccentric billionaire' play-act with Judy. Without looking away from the fox, Judy pulled another piece of wreckage from the pile. The fox took a double take at what she held... and then she saw his face turn to a look of shock and horror as his ears shot flat against his head, his tail stood erect, the fur on his neck bristled, eyes wide, mouth open and sucking in a gasp of air...
Judy's eyes, after a moment of confusion, darted to that which she held.
"Aaaaghh!"
Recoiling from the object, it dropped to the floor and she sprang away, utterly bewildered by what it was...
A fresh, skeletal, limb.
…
Author's notes:
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