Tired but happy, Sasuke heads up onto the balcony and joins her team. Her father is still there, standing over a passed out Shisui. Sasuke's Dad smiles at her and says, "Good girl."
"SASUKE!" Rock Lee scoots over to her and gets right up in Sasuke's face. "YOU STOLE MY TECHNIQUE! THAT IS NOT VERY YOUTHFUL OF YOU!"
"You should take it as a compliment to your skill," says Kakashi. "That she would consider your moves worth stealing."
"Kakashi, my rival," says Might Gai, joining them. "Your student takes after you in the copying department. I had no idea you were teaching these kids to do as you do and copy their opponents!"
"Sorry, did you say something?" asks Kakashi, shooting Gai a genuinely confused look.
"Kakashi, you are so hip and cool!" laments Gai.
Sasuke giggles behind her hand, hoping her Dad won't notice and be disappointed in her for showing emotion in public.
Sasuke's Dad bursts out laughing, a hand over his mouth while the other slaps his thigh. "You people are hilarious!"
Sasuke is so surprised she hides behind Kakashi sensei, and peeks out from behind him, staring at her father. Is it possible that that distant cousin who left the village lied to her about what an Uchiha should and shouldn't do?
"We will now select the second match!" says the proctor, and coughs for a bit. The computer scrolls through some names and selects "Shino Aburame and Zaku Abumi."
Zaku? Isn't that the guy whose arms Sasuke dislocated? Why didn't he drop out? Sure enough, the Sound genin who Sasuke fought in the Forest of Death descends from the other balcony, both arms in slings. Shino, who is on the same balcony as Sasuke, heads down to fight him. Shino grins at Sasuke on the way past.
"I wonder what happened to that guy's arms," says Ino, who is nearby.
"Oh, Sasuke dislocated them with her bare hands," Madoka informs the blonde girl.
Sasuke's Dad turns to look at Sasuke, surprise written all over his face. "Did you..?" he points from Sasuke to Zaku.
"Yes," says Sasuke, who is still hiding behind Kakashi. All these people were watching her fight, and now they are staring at her!
"She beat him up with just Taijutsu too," says Naruto, helpfully.
Luckily for Sasuke, Shisui chooses that moment to roll over and mumble something about needing to escape. All those close to him turn to stare at Shisui.
"You know," says Sasuke's Dad. "He's so pathetic right now, it would be almost cruel to kill him."
"He's probably learned his lesson," says Kakashi. "Did he really get Itachi pregnant? I mean, we all knew they were together, but we all thought he would be smart about it."
"Yes," sighs Sasuke's Dad. "It's true. He probably has learned his lesson…"
"Mr. Nice Police Chief?" Naruto tugs on Sasuke's Dad's sleeve. "If you kill Shisui your unborn grandchild will grow up without a father."
Sasuke's father droops. "You really know how to hit home, don't you, kid?" Sasuke's Dad droops while everyone else holds their breath. The entire room is watching, Sasuke notices. "Maybe I'll just castrate him."
"Don't you want more grandkids?" asks Naruto.
"Well...yes...but…"
"Then just beat him up and leave it at that," suggests Kakashi. "But wait until he wakes up."
"Fine," sighs Sasuke's Dad.
"Are you finished deciding Shisui's fate?" calls Hayate. "We need to get on with this match."
"Then get on with it!" says Sasuke's Dad, irritably.
"Right, Shino VS Zaku!" announces Hayate. "You may begin!"
"You should quit while you still can," says Shino. "You cannot fight me with no arms."
"Well that won't be a problem," says Zaku, grinning and pulling one of his arms out of its sling. "This arm seems to be working."
"One arm won't be enough either," says Shino. Sasuke feels an odd feeling in her stomach. Is it nerves? Maybe. Shino is her friend, and this guy is probably hiding that both his arms really do work. Dislocation is easy to fix.
Zaku charges at Shino, taking a swipe at Shino's head. Shino blocks with just his forearm, staring down Zaku. Zaku sends a blast of slicing airwaves at Shino's head. Shino goes flying across the floor. Sasuke runs towards the barrier and leans over, staring down at Shino in worry.
"Get up, loser!" says Zaku, and Shino stands up. "What?" Zaku stares at Shino in shock. "Bugs?"
Bugs are climbing out of Shino's skin, getting ready to swarm. Behind Zaku, an arm of bugs is crawling along the ground towards the Sound ninja. Zaku notices them and starts looking back and forth, trying to decide who the bigger threat is. Shino holds up a bug on his finger. "Do you like my little friends?" he asks. "They are called kikaichu. They will suck out all your chakra, which will definitely kill you. You only have one arm, and cannot attack both sides at once. If you attack me, my beetles will kill you. If you attack my beetles, I will kill you. You are trapped. Surrender."
Sasuke's eyes widen. Shino has practically won with very little effort.
Zaku glares at Shino.
Shino makes a handsign. "Unless you have a backup plan, you are done for."
Zaku whips out his other arm and points one towards Shino and the other towards the army of bugs. "How's this for a backup plan?"
"Predictable," says Shino.
Zaku fires a blast of cutting air out of each arm. A second later, both arms explode, one of them breaking clean in half. "What the..?"
Sasuke looks closely at the severed arm. There is a tube running down the centre of it, with an exhaust point on Zaku's palm. Shino's bugs are crawling out of each end of the arm and returning to Shino.
Shino sneaks up behind Zaku faster than Sasuke can follow without her sharingan. "While I distracted you with all that talk," says Shino. "My friends made their merry way into your windpipes and blocked them up. How's that for a backup plan?" Shino punches Zaku across the room, knocking him out.
Hayate crouches down and has a look at Zaku. "The winner is Shino!" he announces.
"What?" exclaims Lee. "Neji, how did he do that?"
Neji activates byakugan and examines Shino. The look of horror on Neji's face annoys Sasuke. "His whole body is infested with those beetles!" Neji says, the shock in his voice annoys Sasuke even more.
"Don't you know anything about the other Konoha clans, Hyuuga?" asks Sasuke's Dad. "The Aburame clan is a clan of people who let beetles live inside their bodies in exchange for being able to call on the beetles in battle."
"Oh, that's right," says Neji. "I have heard of a clan that lets its new born babies be taken over by crawling vermin-"
Smack! Sasuke punches Neji in the face. "Don't make fun of my friend!"
"Sasuke!" snaps Sasuke's Dad. "Save it for the exam."
"On to the next match!" says Hayate. "Misumi Tsurugi VS Kankuro."
Shino comes back up the stairs and stands between his team and Sasuke's team. One of Shino's beetles flies over and sits on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke and Shino grin at each other.
Down in the ring, the third member of Kabuto's team, who looks exactly like the dude Sasuke beat up, is squaring off against the ugly cat boy from the Hidden Sand.
"Begin!" says Hayate.
"I'm going to end this quickly!" boasts Misumi.
"You can't end it if I end it first!" says Kankuro.
Shino facepalms. Sasuke pulls a face. How stupid can the guy get?
Sasuke is not too interested in this fight. She watches boredly until Misumi literally wraps himself around Kankuro and starts talking about squeezing the life out of Kankuro like a snake. "EWW!" Sasuke grabs Shino's arm and half-hides behind him. That technique is creepy and gross! Who turns themself into a boneless squeeze-machine? That's gross and creepy!
The chakra sucking parasitic beetle sitting on Sasuke's shoulder tickles her neck. It's such a cute little bug.
Then Kankuro turns his head 180 degrees and starts making whirring noises. Turns out Kankura has a puppet in that ugly bundle tied to his back, and he switched places with the puppet.
Misumi starts screaming in fear, Kankuro boasts about his victory and the proctor calls the match. "Kankuro wins due to Misumi's inability to fight back!"
"Creepy…" mutters Sasuke, squeezing Shino's arm.
"You think those guys were creepy, but you're fine with Shino, who is a literal walking hive of parasites?" says Kiba. "Man, girls are weird."