Naruto is disappointed that he is not chosen for the next match. However, he happily tells Iruka-nii about his adventures in the Forest of Death. Iruka-nii is impressed with the fact they took out three other teams with very little effort. Meanwhile, Shikamaru is fighting Kin Tsuchi, the girl from the Sound team that Naruto's team beat up. Naruto is not in the least bit surprised when Shikamaru outsmarts the Sound girl and beats her by making her hit her head against a wall.
He is a little surprised that Shikamaru didn't give up, but that is neither here nor there. Shikamaru beat the girl with the bells on her senbon, and that is all that matters. Naruto thinks that the Sound ninjas are kinda lame.
Naruto slaps Shikamaru on the shoulder and says, "Good work, that chick was annoying."
"You're up next, Naruto," says Mr. Nice Police Chief, putting his hand on Naruto's shoulder and pointing at the screen.
Naruto looks over at the screen and grins. He is up against Kiba. "Well it's about time!" Naruto yells. "I'll make this a good show, alright!" He vaults over the railings and lands in the arena. Then he turns to look at Kiba. "Hurry up, Dog Boy!"
Kiba grumbles something under his breath and saunters down to the arena. "This is gonna be easy," sneers Kiba. "I know you - you're that kid that barely passed, and only because your sensei felt sorry for you."
"Actually," says Naruto. "That scum-bag refused to let me take the Specialist Test, wrote a false report about my abilities, stole the Sacred Scroll of Sealing and deserted the village." Naruto crosses his arms and nods firmly a couple of times. "Then some cool guys in masks got the scroll back and gave it to me to give to the Hokage and I had a read of it and learned a cool jutsu. I'm gonna show it to you. Can we start now, Mr. Hayate?"
"Yes, you may begin," says Mr. Hayate.
"Sweet!" says Naruto. Then he makes his new favourite handsign. "Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu!" About a hundred Naruto clones appear in the arena.
Kiba stares at Naruto like he is a lunatic. "What good will clones do? They're just illusions!"
"Not these clones, dog-boy!" grins Naruto. "Now, how about you take the puppy off your head and fight me?"
"If you insist on getting your ass kicked, I'll have to do it!" says Kiba, grinning.
"How is a puppy gonna help you do that?" asks Naruto, genuinely curious. "I've never seen a puppy used as a weapon before. Unless, of course, you are planning to make me die from overexposure to cuteness."
For some reason, this makes Kiba angry, and he feeds his puppy a red pill. The puppy turns all red and growly then transforms into a replica of Kiba, who gets all fangs-and-clawsy and down-on-all-foursy. That is actually pretty much the name of his technique.
And Naruto thought he was bad at naming techniques.
One of the Kibas jumps on the other Kiba's back. "Man-beast: Fang Over Fang!" Kiba and his clone turn into giant drills and take out lots of Naruto's shadow clones. Naruto himself has a hard time dodging the attack. Kiba somehow knows which one is the real him.
Then Naruto has an idea. He really needs to write this idea down, but one of the Kibas is aimed straight for him. So Naruto puts up a weak barrier between himself and the Kiba-projectile, pulls out a scroll and a pen and starts scribbling down his idea. The Kiba hits the barrier and is sent flying backwards. With a poof the Kiba turns into the puppy.
The other Kiba, the real Kiba, realizes that his puppy is unconscious and stops being a giant drill. Naruto wonders why Kiba is not dizzy. Naruto would be hella dizzy if he'd just done what Kiba did.
"Naruto! What the hell?" demands Kiba. "We are supposed to be fighting!"
"I had an idea about a thing I'm working on, and I had to write it down!" explains Naruto. "Can we pause the fight while I finish? I may have just uncovered the secret to stopping time."
"Now's not the time for that!" yells Madoka.
"THAT'S WHAT THE SEAL IS FOR!" Naruto yells back.
"Just kick Kiba's ass and THEN write out all your crazy ideas!" yells Madoka.
"Are you ignoring me!?" demands Kiba. "You knocked out Akamaru, and now you are ignoring me?"
Naruto, finished writing down his idea (Grandpa always says if you have an idea or a theory you should write it down right away), pockets his pen and scroll and stands up. "I better finish this. I have a new move I want to try out, anyway. You should always test ideas before using them in a real fight."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?" Kiba growls, and charges at Naruto.
Naruto makes the shadow clone hand-sign, ready to make some more shadow clones, since Kiba and the puppy killed them all.
Kiba dives behind Naruto, ready to attack him from behind, which Naruto was not expecting at all. "Time to unleash my new justu!" announces Naruto. Right at that moment, Naruto farts.
That was either the worst timed fart or the best timed fart ever, Naruto thinks as Kiba clutches his nose and reels backwards.
"Multi shadow clone jutsu!" announces Naruto, rolling with it. One of his clones punches Kiba upside the jaw, sending him into the air, where two more clones pummel him a bit, before sending him back to the floor. Naruto and one other clone kick Kiba down into the floor. Naruto announces the name of his new technique; "Naruto Uzumaki Barrage!" Kiba is so thoroughly knocked out Naruto almost feels sorry for him. Almost. "That's what you get for calling a princess of my clan lame." Naruto crosses his arms.
"Naruto Uzumaki wins!" announces Hayate, and coughs.
"That's a nasty cough," says Naruto. "You should get that looked at."
"I have one too many battle scars in my lungs, kid," says Hayate. "No one can fix this damage."
Naruto pats Hayate's arm comfortingly and heads up to the balcony so they can start the next match. "Hey guys," Naruto says, nonchalantly (he learned that word from Madoka).
"Naruto, the middle of a fight is not the best time to write down theories on stopping time!" scold Madoka.
"Naruto's been working on it since our fight with Haku," says Sasuke shyly, from behind Shino. "I've been helping."
"DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM SASUKE!"
"Don't stifle Naruto's creativity," says Iruka. "Let me know once you've tested your theory, Naruto."
Naruto notices that Mr. Nice Police Chief looks mildly horrified, Kakashi sensei looks done and mostly everyone else looks like they don't believe him.
"Good fight, Naruto," says Shikamaru. "I expected no less from you."
"I wonder who's next?" says Naruto, turning to the screen, which is scrolling through names. It stop on 'Hinata Hyuga VS Neji Hyuga'.
Naruto's blood freezes. Oh no.
Naruto sees Hinata droop slightly. Her cousin always bullies her. Now he has an arena to do it in, and no one will be able to stop him until he goes too far by their standards. "Hinata!" says Naruto. "Don't let Neji bully you!"
"I'll try," says Hinata, determined. She heads down into the arena to face off against Neji.
"Who would have thought I would face you, Lady Hinata," says Neji calmly, and that is worse than all his jeering and bullying.
"Big brother Neji…!" Hinata is already starting to doubt herself. This is not good.
"Before we begin," says Neji, still very calmly. "There is something I must point out. You have no skill as a shinobi. You are nothing but a troublemaker who overeats and steals from the Police. You should withdraw from this match and stay a genin forever. The very thing that you should be good at is the thing you are worst at. As the heiress of the Hyuuga clan, you should have a powerful byakugan, but your eyes are weak, and you have no control over them."
"But Neji, I…" Hinata tries to speak, but Neji ignores her.
"The bravado you put on for the world is a farce to cover up how insecure you are in yourself and your abilities," Neji goes on.
Naruto realizes he is growling low in his throat like a wild animal.
"Surrender now," finishes Neji. "You cannot win against me. That fact is as clear as the fact I am of the Branch house and you are of the Main house."
"NEJI!" shouts Naruto, angry and seeing red. "SHUT UP! HINATA! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! HE'S TRYING TO WEAR YOU DOWN BEFORE THE FIGHT EVEN STARTS!"
An instant before everyone turns to stare at Naruto in shock, Mr. Nice Police Chief puts his hand on Naruto's shoulder. Naruto turns to look up at him and sees the glowing, spinning, red sharingan. Naruto instantly feels calmer, and the red haze in front of his eyes vanishes.
"Hinata," says Mr. Nice Police Chief. "If you can break into police headquarters at the tender age of five, you can beat this little s###." He smiles. "You can beat this guy. Just do your best."
"Neji, Hinata," says Hayate, holding up his arm. "Begin!"