Richonne (Short Love Stories) Staking A Claim (Chapter 9)
Just as always, his eyes pop open before his alarm is set to go off. He reaches over to set it for the next morning, then remains in bed, contemplating his life and where he is going from here. His plan was to get his family to a safe and secure place and then they could all live and have somewhat of a decent life. He realizes that was a tall order, especially in the world they were living in today, but she made him hopeful, she refused to let him give up. It's because of her that they're here and he just thought once they felt safe enough, he could reveal his true feelings for her and she would reveal how he knew…thought she felt about him and they could be happy. One big happy family.
He scoffs as he sits up and prepares to get out of bed. Rubbing his face absently, he can't help reflecting on what she said to him. Are you saying what I think you're saying? Well, my answer is going to be no. I love you, but we shouldn't risk ruining what we have.
She said those exact words to him three weeks ago and he replays them in his head each and every day. It's the only way he can function. The only way he can quell down the need to reach out and touch her. The only way he can deny his feelings for her. The only way he can continue to put on a happy face in her presence. All for her to keep her happy and she does appear to be happy, but he is utterly miserable.
He moves into the bathroom to shower and get the day started yet again.
Thirty minutes later, he makes his way downstairs to the kitchen. She is already there with his children, laughing as she prepares their breakfast, engaging Judith effortlessly the entire time.
"Good morning, Father. You'll never guess what Michonne is preparing for us on this fine, delightful morning," Carl informs.
Rick raises his eyebrows. "Who are you and what have you done with my son?"
Carl and Michonne both laugh at Rick's serious but playful question.
"He's practicing proper English he says," Michonne tells Rick. "Just go with it. He'll revert back soon enough."
"So what's the big surprise for breakfast?" Rick asks.
Carl smiles with excitement. "Pancakes. Do you know how long it's been since we had pancakes? Good pancakes?"
Rick nods, refusing to bring up any sad memories at this time, but he can't help but think of Lori and all the attempts she made with pancakes. It will be interesting to see if Michonne knows what she's doing. Of course, he doesn't doubt it. There hasn't been one thing she set her mind to and not mastered. She's amazing that way.
Carl is finishing off his fourth pancake when Rick announces he's leaving for the office. The two of them start gathering their things, preparing for their day. Michonne cradles Judith on her hip as she bids them both a good day. Carl reaches in and gives both her and Judy a hug. Rick kisses the top of Judy's head, then nods at Michonne.
She watches quietly as they leave, acknowledging a small tinge of hurt. Rick hasn't made a move to touch her in almost a month and she hates to admit it, but she misses his touch. He's only respecting her wishes, but she didn't think telling him that they shouldn't be together romantically would ruin what they have. He's different with her now and she's different too. She never put any thought into touching her friend. She just did it, but now she's cautious. She thinks about what it will mean to him if she touches him, so she doesn't. It shouldn't mean anything, but it does. The way they touch means everything. The truth is she loves Rick with every fiber of her being, but she refuses to be vulnerable again. Love makes you vulnerable and as long as she can deny it and deny him, she would be ok. She would keep him and the children safe and they would all be happy.
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Her so called happiness seems to have evaporated like mist in the wind. She didn't think things could get any worse, but boy was she wrong. In just a matter of days, Rick had gotten into an actual street fight with one of the other residents, accusing him of stealing a gun and that same resident ended up as walker bait while on a run that Rick just happened to be part of. People suspected him of foul play and things were not looking good for the Atlanta Group at the Safe Zone right now.
The family could see that something wasn't quite right between her and Rick and they were looking to her to fix it as Rick is in one of his unapproachable moods. Carl is at school and Beth is taking care of Judy at Glenn and Maggie's place.
Michonne walks cautiously to Rick's bedroom and knocks on the door. No answer but she knows he's there, so she turns the knob and walks in, relieved that it wasn't locked. Rick is lying in bed on his back, an arm thrown across his eyes. He looks up as he hears the door open and close, then goes back to his previous position.
This attitude of his frustrates her to no end. She tried to get answers out of him about the latest events, but he has been evasive and closed off. She's not having it today. They are going to hash this out once and for all.
"I'd like you to sit up and look at me while we talk," she informs him.
"If you've come here to talk to me like you're talking to Carl, you can forget it. My mom's been gone for a while now," Rick retorts.
"Rick, what are you doing? This isn't you. Hiding a gun and then accusing that guy of stealing it…." She trails off as Rick sits up to glare at her.
"So you think I'm lying too?" He asks.
Michonne sighs deeply. "No, but why would you hide the gun and why would he steal it?"
"You know what? He's dead now, so it really doesn't matter. You got something else you want to talk about?"
She can detect the anger in him and wonders if some of it is directed at her. "We need to talk about what Deana may be planning. She has banished people before, so….."
"Banish? She's planning on banishing me? On what basis? She has no proof of anything. It's all speculation," he states.
"You fought with him about a gun, you threatened to kill him in front of everybody and just days later, he ends up dead. I know you understand how this looks, so…" Michonne stops as Rick gets up from the bed and walks toward her.
"I don't care how it looks. I told you what happened, so why are we on this again?" He wants to know.
"Because you haven't told me everything," she reminds him.
"Well, let me just go down the list then. Yes, I hid a gun. I hid it as a backup plan just in case this place turned out to be another Terminus. I go back for the gun and it's gone. The very next day, that prick tries to kill Glenn in the woods with the gun. That's how I knew he had it and yes, I wanted him dead. He tried to kill Glenn, so in my mind, he didn't belong here," Rick explains.
"So, what happened on the run?" she asks
"He got eaten by walkers," Rick answers.
Michonne glares at him. "I am so sick of your bullshit. Our lives are at stake here and you act like you don't care."
"Don't worry. You wanted this place. You got it. You got everything you wanted. You'll be just fine. As a matter of fact, another house came open and I think you should take it." He waits for her reaction.
Michonne isn't sure she heard him right. "What?"
"I think you should move out," he reiterates.
"No. I'm not leaving Carl and Judith," she frowns as she tries to comprehend his request. And you.
"I'm not asking."
"And I'm not leaving."
They continue to glare at each other until Rick finally says, "Fine. Me and the kids will move into the other house."
"Carl and Judith aren't going anywhere and neither are you," Michonne is confident in her statement, ready to go toe to toe with Rick about the children.
"Last I checked I was grown and can do whatever I see fit. Carl and Judith are my children and where I go, they go." Rick is adamant and refuses to back down.
"Why are you trying to hurt me?" She whispers.
"I'm not trying to hurt you. I just want the hurt to stop and if that means letting you go, then that's what I've got to do. I can't live like this anymore," he professes.
"Live like what? We're doing fine. We're happy…..aren't we?" She asks the last part with hesitation, unsure of the truth.
"I'm not happy living under the same roof with you day in and day out, knowing that we'll never be together. I'll accept it but I gotta make this better somehow. I need to be able to function and move on with my life. You want us to be friends, fine, but we gotta do this some other way, not like this" he concludes.
"You want me out of here so you can move on? With who?" Michonne's breathing is labored as she tries to envision Rick with someone else, but she can't.
"I'm not moving on with anybody…..yet." Rick looks at her pointedly. "You've ruined me for anybody else right now, but with time, I'll be able to do it."
"So, just like that you want me out of your life?" She is trying her best to hold the tears at bay. She has screwed up royally this time. I can't function away from him. Away from the kids.
"We'll never be completely out of each other's lives. I won't deliberately keep you from the kids. I know you love them and they love you. I won't interfere with that," he conveys.
"You….asshole!" she shouts before making a dash for the door.
Rick is there, closing the door right as she gets it open. He reaches for her arm, but she snatches away from him, averting her face.
"Don't touch me! Just let me out of here. You want me gone, I'm gone," she promises.
"Hey, look at me."
She turns her back to him, trying her best to keep it together, but her heart aches more than she ever thought it could. He is going to ruin everything by separating from her. She jumps as she feels his hands on her arms.
"I said don't touch me." She turns around to face him, glaring at him through narrowed eyes.
Rick won't relent. He grips her arms, pulling her against him. "All I want to do is touch you, so tell me how we do this. How can I live here with you, feeling the way I feel, knowing that I can't touch you like I want or kiss you like I want….."
"Stop it. Don't….." She trails off, looking into his eyes, realizing how tangible their feelings are.
"Or what?" He glares back at her, unable to break the eye contact even if he wanted to. She makes the egregious mistake of averting her eyes from his only to look down at his lips. It was all the encouragement he needed.
Rick slams his mouth against hers, moans unconsciously escaping from both of them.
She attempts to pull away but Rick wraps his arms around her, holding her immobile. She can't think like this and she has the overwhelming sensation of floating. Oh, no. This is so much better than I thought it'd be. Closing her eyes, she allows herself to drift and bask in the moment, melting into him as she wraps her arms around his waist and finally returns his kiss, giving in as her heart swells with all the love she holds for him.
His head is swimming with elation as he enfolds her in his arms and begins to move his lips against hers. He opens his mouth slightly, tasting her with his tongue, hoping she will open up for him. His pleasure is insurmountable as she responds, opening her mouth fully to accept his tongue as she offers hers. He latches on as if he's starving, the craving for her seizing his entire being.
The kiss seems to go on forever as they can't get enough of the sensation they are collectively experiencing.
Rick pulls back, resting his head against hers. His breathing is elevated as he analyzes his emotions. He can't ever remember feeling this intense, this consumed by someone. "I don't want to walk away, but if you want me to, I will." He waits several moments, giving her an opportunity to say something, anything. When she remains quiet, their shaky breaths the only noise decipherable in the room, Rick releases her and turns toward the door. He feels like his heart is breaking into a million pieces as he reaches for the knob.
Michonne practically tackles him from behind, throwing her arms around his waist, holding him tightly to her. She breaths him in deeply, relishing in all of the emotions that are running rampant through her mind and body. "You're mine. I don't want anybody else. I don't want to live with anybody else. I want you to touch me. I want you to kiss me. I want you to hold me. I want to go to bed with you at night and wake up with you in the morning. I want….."
He turns around, cupping her face in his hands, as he leans in to kiss her tenderly.
"I'm sorry. I do love you. I just thought letting you in would change things between us but you're already here. You've been here all along and I can't lose you. Don't leave me." She lays it all out for him, holding nothing back, placing her heart in his hands. She quivers with emotion, holding to him tightly.
Rick can't express the relief he feels in that moment. It's like he has suddenly been given his life back, his purpose. He wraps her in his arms once again. "I am so in love with you. I'm here. I ain't going anywhere."
"Can we just stay like this? Just a little while longer before we have to deal with all the mess outside," she asks, her face buried in his chest.
"Whatever you want," Rick assures.
"Really? Whatever I want?" She looks at him with those beautiful doe-like eyes, then tiptoes just a bit to whisper in his ear.
His eyes pop at her request then he looks at her and smiles while his cheeks become flushed with redness. Today is turning out to be a great day. He thinks to himself as he allows Michonne to lead him to the bed.