Dear Dark Lord

by Suitsu

At first- the letters are just a way to piss Voldemort more. As time goes by, however, Harry finds himself with a penpal, and, miraculously, a friend. He thinks it's rather ironic. Beta'd by the wonderful Dgreatsparky!

1. Chapter 1

Dear dark lord,

I have a question. Why haven't you killed harry potter yet? I mean come on, have you no idea how easy it would be. I mean- I'm 15 and I think I could kill him quicker than you. I'm going, to be honest here. I don't particularly want you to kill him, I'm just amused by the fact that you claim to be one of the most brilliant minds in wizarding Britain and fail to kill a child. I mean- come on! Would it have been so hard to station a death eater at platform 9 and ¾ or something? Seriously, just be reasonable and let someone else kill the kid. By the way, I don't understand how you managed to station a death eater IN HOGWARTS but failed to, I don't know, KILL THE BOY DURING THE MILLION TIMES HE WAS VULNERABLE. Also- if the graveyard rumor is true- which I think it is- Why didn't you just kill potter when he was bloody tied up, unarmed, and an easy target. Oh- you didn't think of that mister he-who-shall-not-think-at all. Seriously, man, I expected more from you. Not cool
-a person with common sense

Dear brat,

Well, that hurt my feelings. Seriously, evil plotting is hard when 𝚢̶𝚘̶𝚞̶ ̶𝚘̶𝚗̶𝚕̶𝚢̶ ̶𝚑̶𝚊̶𝚟̶𝚎̶ ̶𝟷̶/̶𝟷̶𝟸̶𝟾̶𝚝̶𝚑̶ ̶𝚘̶𝚏̶ ̶𝚊̶ ̶𝚜̶𝚘̶𝚞̶𝚕̶ you're stuck at home with a rat-man. Also- i am too prideful to take advice from a 15-year-old like yourself so kindly get lost.
-the dark lord