Dear Dark Lord

by Suitsu

At first- the letters are just a way to piss Voldemort more. As time goes by, however, Harry finds himself with a penpal, and, miraculously, a friend. He thinks it's rather ironic. Beta'd by the wonderful Dgreatsparky!

3. Chapter 3

Dear dark lord,

I am bored. I am lonely. I am angsty. I also want the fat toad in pink to die. Help me.

-a person with common sense

Dear brat,

When do you want me to kill her? I'm free Tuesday.

-the dark lord

Dear dark lord,

That works.

-A person with common sense

Later that day

Senior undersecretary to the minister found dead in little Hangleton!

By Rita Skeeter

Senior undersecretary, Hogwarts defense teacher, and newly appointed high inquisitor, Dolores Umbridge was found dead in a small town called Little Hangleton. Aurors blame muggles as she was found with several primitive torture marks on her body-

Harry sighed happily. Then he got up and proceeded to the owlery. He would have to thank Voldemort for his help.