"If you stay, you will not survive this war."

Sakura's blood pounded in her ears, but she kept her face neutral. She focused her gaze on the Mage and for a moment, she got the feeling that she was staring in the abyss. The most unnerving thing was that the abyss was staring right back.

"I make my own fate." she finally said.

"Fate bows to no one."

Sakura tilted her head. "What makes you think it bows to you or your magic then?"

"The powers at play here are beyond your comprehension."

Is that so? Sakura chuckled. "What you don't understand is that I am beyond your comprehension too." She looked up with a small smirk. "Is this what your kin does? Look into the future and deliver grim prophecies?" Sakura couldn't be sure, but it seemed as if the other woman was glaring at her.

"Merlin's eye sees all, and he has seen your death."

Well, well…Here we go…That explains how she so easily accepted my presence back then. She crossed her arms across her chest. "If your Merlin can see all, tell me, will we win this war? Did he see Uther's death at the hand of his own brother?"

The dark-haired woman remained silent for a few moments. "His magic is powerful, but some things even he can't control."

Bingo…Sakura smirked. "In my experience, fate is a fickle thing. And I happen to be the master of my own."

"Your disregard for your very own destiny is a blasphemy."

Behind that mask of cold indifference, the woman was annoyed, Sakura could tell. "What makes you think I haven't beaten death already?"

"No one has the power to beat death."

Had the situation been any less serious, Sakura would have laughed. "That's where you are wrong, Mage. I have escaped death's clutches and robbed him of his prizes countless times before. Death fears me."

The dark-haired woman tightened her fist on her cloak and for some reason, Sakura got a sense of accomplishment at having broken her stony composure. She knew that she was committing hubris in the eyes of the Mage, but she was so damn sick of people deciding her fate for her.

"You have no idea what awaits you. You will leave this world covered in blood and with screams of pain and suffering in your ears."

Well, that's encouraging…

Sakura regarded the other woman for a few moments. Finally, she shook her head and chuckled. "So be it. I can think of worse ways to go and I will make sure to raise hell before I do. You can bet that blood won't be my own." She swiftly turned her back to the dark-haired woman, effectively ending the conversation. It would be a lie to say that the woman's words hadn't rattled her, but she kept her composure and her head high.

She had only managed to take a few steps towards the direction of the cave, when the Mage's voice stopped her.

"You walk a fine line between life and death."

Looking over her shoulder, Sakura smirked. "But you see, Mage, walking that line, I feel right at home."

XxxOxOxOxxX

Well, shit…

Resting her back against the bark of a tree, Sakura slid down to the ground and pulled her knees to her chest. She sighed, looking into the night. She could see a barely noticeable light a short distance away, marking the flickering flames of the hearths within the rebels' cave.

I'll have to talk to them about that later…

Though the woods around her were silent save for the sound of crickets, she couldn't find peace. It would be a terrible lie to say that the Mage's words hadn't rattled her. With everything that had happened, it hadn't occurred to her just how serious the repercussions of her involvement with a wanted group would be. It was easier to just ignore them; it was safer to simply face each situation as it arose.

This used to be so much easier…

She was a shinobi; she had made her peace with death a long time ago. And while she had every intention of staying alive for as long as she could, death didn't scare her. Each mission she'd gone on could have ended in her not coming back. Dying for the sake of the village was an honorable death, a desirable death.

Am I still a shinobi though? she thought, leaning her head against the tree. With no home to return to and no family to call my own, what am I fighting for?

It would be easy to say that she was fighting for them; for Arthur and the rebels. They had a cause too, they wanted to make things better for everyone, or so it seemed. Wasn't that enough? Truth be told, it should have been enough. But it was hard. It was hard to accept that she had nothing left, not even a scrap, from her old life.

Is this what I'm doing now? Holding on to a mere memory?

She'd fought wars and she had killed thousands for her family and friends, without ever stopping to ask herself if what she was doing was right. Arthur and the rebels had everything to lose. Hell, a whole kingdom had everything to lose.

And yet, it just wasn't the same.

Had the situation been different, if, by some twisted miracle, it had been in Konoha's best interests to stand by King Vortigern, she would have ended the lives of the rebels without a second thought. It was a harsh truth, but it would be a terrible lie to say that she would have done anything different. She would have killed all of them without asking for justification. Whatever Konoha needed. It had always been about Konoha.

Am I filling a void? Or…or am I just trying to find forgiveness for everything I've done?

The Mage's words echoed in her mind. 'You will not survive this war…'

She closed her eyes, breathing deeply. Is this it? Am I simply living on borrowed time? She should have made her peace with these thoughts a long time ago. She should have accepted the fact that there was no Konoha to return to, not anymore. But it was hard. It was hard letting go of everything she'd ever known. It had taken her years to let go of Sasuke. It would be naïve to expect that she'd ever be able to let go of Konoha.

She'd never been good at moving on.

You should have left me to die with you, Naruto…Look at the life you've condemned me to…Living in the shadow of a memory, yearning for something I can never take back. A life without you…

His sad blue eyes flashed at the forefront of her mind and she instantly regretted her thoughts, feeling the sting of her own words. She gritted her teeth, inwardly cursing herself for her selfishness. She had no right to blame anything on Naruto. He'd protected her, without giving his own wellbeing a second thought.

Like he always did…She sighed deeply, hoping to exhale and simply rid herself of all her troubled thoughts. I'm being so unfair…

To Naruto, for wallowing in self pity and dishonoring his sacrifice. To Arthur and the rebels, for not fully dedicating herself to their cause as she had promised she would. And to herself, for not letting go, for not allowing herself to start anew.

Because starting anew meant putting Konoha behind her and that meant accepting that all her friends, everyone she had ever cared about, were gone.

A world without you is a scary world, Naruto…

She looked down to see that she had unknowingly been pulling and tearing at the patch of grass around the tree she was leaning against.

Stop it, you ungrateful idiot. You are alive, you are still here. Naruto would want you to live, they all would want you to live. Feeling sorry for yourself and being stuck in the past is an insult to their memory…

She raised her hand to eye level and sent a small burst of chakra to her fingers. The familiar green light danced on her fingertips, illuminating her face, bathing her surroundings in its eerie glow.

Get a grip, Sakura. Konoha lives in you…

"You doing your magic tricks again, wench?"

The sound of Arthur's voice broke her out of her thoughts, and she turned to look at him. He stood a few feet away from her, leaning against a tree, with his arms crossed across his chest. Had she been so lost in thought that she hadn't felt him approach?

"How long have you been standing there?"

He pushed himself off the tree and sat down beside her. "Just got here. You were nowhere to be seen when we returned to the cave from the hunt. I think I told you to stay there. The woods are dangerous after dark."

Sakura raised an eyebrow at him. "I did crash your execution willingly, didn't I? There's not one thing in these woods more dangerous than that."

The man snickered. "Point taken. Though I still don't see why you did that. Seems like a stupid thing to do."

"That's my specialty. I do stupid things for a living."

"I've noticed."

"Tsk…So ungrateful." She smirked up at him. Even seated, Arthur's masculine frame towered over her.

"Forget it, princess. I've already said my thanks, don't expect anything more from me," he said, sending her a lopsided grin and flicking her forehead.

The familiar move caught her by surprise, though Arthur couldn't possibly know what it meant to her or the memories it brought back. Her eyes widened and she absently noted that Arthur's brows knitted together in worry at how she suddenly froze in place. Her mind flew years back and for just a moment the woods melted away to be replaced by a familiar street and a ramen stand she knew all too well.

She was sitting with her team after one of their grueling training sessions, a steaming bowl of Ichiraku's best ramen placed in front of her. Naruto was chatting loudly with Sasuke, all the while gulping down his own food as was his habit. Kakashi-sensei was there too, and he was smiling at her that special smile of his and flicking her forehead.

And then she was crying silent tears she couldn't control, not really seeing Arthur or how alarmed he became at the sight of her watery eyes.

XxxOxOxOxxX

He never expected her to start crying and for a moment he stood frozen in place, not knowing what to do. He had never been good with crying women. Or crying men. Or crying people, in general.

"Sakura, I'm sorry…I-I-" he tried to apologize, though he had no idea what he was apologizing for. He racked his brain for anything in their short conversation that could have caused such a reaction, but he came up empty handed.

She didn't appear to have heard him, for her eyes remained moist and unfocused, and suddenly it dawned on him that he had somehow triggered a memory or a feeling or something from her past. For a moment, Arthur wanted to kick himself, though he couldn't have possibly known. It was disconcerting seeing her like that. So rattled, so…fragile. It didn't fit her.

She was crying but she wasn't making a sound. There was no sobbing or shaking shoulders or uncontrolled hiccups. Silently, the pearl-shaped tears rolled down her cheeks from her wide luminous eyes, leaving no smears or streaks. There was a rawness to it, like the pain was still an open wound. She was the picture of grief and loss, her face that of one who had suffered before and didn't know if she could do it again.

Her tears were slow and desolate and in a twisted way, in that very moment of her weakness, he thought she was-

Beautiful…

The thought startled him just as it entered his mind, though he couldn't deny how truthful it was. Shaking his head to regain his composure, he slowly raised his hand to her face, and used his thumb to gently wipe away some of her tears.

His touch seemed to bring her back from her trance and finally, her gaze regained focus. She looked up at him, her brilliant green eyes boring into his.

Arthur didn't say anything. There was nothing to be said. He cupped her cheek and pulled her closer, gently coaxing her to lay her head on his shoulder. She didn't resist him, allowing him to guide her. She leaned her body against his side, hair spilling over his shoulder and down his chest.

Within minutes she was asleep and not long after, he was too.

TBC

Alrighty! This took a lot longer than I would have wanted but my internship at the vet clinic -yay!- takes most of my day and is absolutely exhausting. Not complaining though! I get to spend my days among puppies and kittens and sometimes, even foals! I'm living the dream!

Anyway, I hope you forgive me for taking so long to update, but most importantly, I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Drop me a review to share your thoughts!

Hope to hear from you!

I'll endeavor not to take so long to update!

Until next time,

Lots of love!