Thank you to Bamberlee for editing!

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The story will be updated every Sunday. Thanks for reading along!


"Does it hurt?"

"Obviously."

I snap my answer at Daniel, watching his face darken in disappointment. The cast on my arm is heavy and uncomfortable, and the throbbing grows with each step. He walks quickly to keep up, and I walk faster to keep ahead.

I'd sat in the hospital for two hours before someone was able to get a hold of my parents. Everyone knew Daniel was more than likely in surgery, but once they finally talked to Blythe, she made it very clear she was too busy to come by. She tried to give permission for treatment over the phone, but the nurses declined, saying they needed someone here. I was given a mild painkiller for the break in my arm, something to drink, and one of the more experienced nurses was called in to come and talk to me when Blythe snapped at them not to bother her again.

Her dismissal was never more evident: she had work to do, and work trumped everything.

Daniel showed up near the three hour mark. He gave his permission for me to be treated as he left his own hospital floor, and I swore in both pain and rage as they set my arm, then bandaged it so I could leave. With any luck, it would heal quickly and I wouldn't need surgery.

The nurse called in was not from Erudite but had worked here previously. Arlene, dressed in black scrubs and a matching dark attitude, was oddly livid no one was down here to help me. She scowled when Daniel did arrive, rushing through the door with a flock of nurses behind him, all swooning as he threw out orders and she sharply informed him this whole ordeal was unacceptable.

He apologized.

He apologized while answering a question from one of his nurses, and he threw her a small, sheepish grin at the inconvenience of all this. Even in his hurry, he couldn't leave his work behind.

I was released once he arrived. It wasn't because of his parental concern or his dashing arrival to save the day. I was able to leave because he was my legal guardian, and they were awaiting his signature on the paperwork.

"Eric, I'm sorry. I was in surgery. I couldn't get away. I couldn't…Greg finally got there and I left as soon as I could."

To his credit, Daniel realized his error almost immediately. I stormed out of the room without saying a single word and took off with the intent to walk home. Now, he is frantic to fix this. His eyes swing wildly as we pass the cafeteria, and someone yells to get his attention. He's immediately accosted by a woman from registration asking for follow up information. I'd given them none. I hadn't even put my parents' names on the paper, I'd only written my own.

I make it to the large glass doors before he realizes I haven't stopped, and he panics when I keep walking.

"Eric, wait! I'm going to grab us dinner!"

I ignore him.

I broke my arm at school, fighting someone the same size as me, once the guy pointed out not a single person had told me Happy Birthday. I didn't care about that. It was unlikely Blythe would remember, and the thin sliver of hope that my father would as least acknowledge it had long disappeared. Rylan had told me Happy Birthday, grinning and giving me something wrapped haphazardly, and instructing me not to open it until later. I'd gotten into the fight because the guy named James assumed my sneer was from no one celebrating, and I was determined to prove to him otherwise.

"Eric!"

I walk out into the area for emergency vehicles, and I keep going. My stomach burns from whatever they'd given me, and my arm aches. I ignore all of them, choosing to walk to the very edge of the hospital and down the street, until Daniel yells my name louder than I've ever heard him.

"Eric! What on Earth are you doing? I've been calling for you. Let me drive you home. It's too far to walk!"

He never did remember my birthday.

Blythe didn't, either.

I ate dinner in my room, alone. The meal was prepared by a nameless chef, and I went to bed without speaking to anyone.

I didn't open Rylan's gift. I shoved it inside the closet, with all the others he'd given me, and the card from his parents. I couldn't bring myself to read it, because it would be kind and warm and absolutely well meaning in their quest to wish me a Happy Birthday and boringly normal.

It was all too much, and eventually, I can only assume the housekeeper threw everything away.


"It's really big."

Everly, officially eighteen and officially as tall as one of the kids running down the pathway, stands next to me. Her head is craned up to look at the ceiling, where none of the answers from today's questions are written. She glances around like she doesn't live here; the wood walls are probably familiar to her, and the lofty space is presumably the same as in her parents' home.

Except this house is empty.

It has a kitchen, far smaller than the one in my parents' home and large windows with a view of the forest. There is no dining room table, but space for one. There are a few other rooms down here, an assumed living room with nothing in it but a couch, a smaller room that might one day house a desk and bookshelves, and a bathroom. There's a backdoor leading to a porch, and an upstairs where the one bedroom must be. The floors are nice, polished and clean, but wood.

Everything is made of wood.

The front door is heavy, but it locks, and I have to admit one hesitant concern is how safe I'll be here. I wasn't so much thinking someone would try to kill me, but I had the suspicion my choice of Amity wouldn't be something Jeanine would let go. She'd show up sooner or later, and her first task would be to find me.

But not tonight.

Tonight, I have time to settle into the Amity faction like this was my plan all along. I glance around quickly, noticing there are a few lights, an odd fixture above us which resembles antlers, and a few boxes. The floor creaks as I step forward, trying to figure out what someone does in Amity. I try to imagine building this house, making plans for the layout or cutting the large beams, and I absolutely cannot.

I can't even imagine staying here, living inside these walls for the rest of my life.

"Do you like it?"

Everly looks at me. Her eyes are wide, and I know she's worried about whether or not I'm happy here. I'm slowly learning her concern for herself is minimal. She doesn't seem to think very highly of her ability to make her own choices, and her daring decision to live elsewhere is probably the bravest thing she's ever done.

"What's up there?" I stop at the base of the stairs not made of some architect's finest material, but of more wood, and she joins me. "Are all the houses two stories?"

"I think it's the bedroom. Most are two stories. The larger homes are assigned to families with lots of kids." She steps onto the first step, and I'm reminded of hours ago, when she stood in front of me asking which faction I'd choose. "We should go look."

She uses we as if we are a thing, and we most certainly are not.

I don't mind living with her because I think it could be helpful. I think she might be able to help me figure out the ins and outs of living here, and she probably knows enough to help me create a plan. I'll need to make sure I know anyone important and align myself with them. The last thing I want is to stick out here, especially when Jeanine shows up.

The unfortunate part of living with her is she's very kind and in dire need of someone to pay attention to her.

Landon seemed willing to pay attention to her, but it must not be the attention she wants.

"Are you coming?"

I blink to see her a few steps ahead, and I nod.

We ascend the stairs quickly, and my guess is right: upstairs hosts a large bedroom and bathroom. There appears to be a balcony right outside, and there's a nice view of darkness. Everly pauses a single step in, and the bed is the only thing in the room. It's been made up with white sheets, and enough pillows for an army.

"I'll ask my brother if he has a dresser. I'm sure someone has one they aren't using," Everly glances around the room, and the strange world of Amity intensifies. In Erudite, we'd order a dresser. Blythe would spend a few days agonizing over which one cost the most and what pretentious name was attached. Daniel would wave his approval on whatever she picked, anything to avoid starting an argument, and we'd all wind up with furniture she forbid us to use.

My own dresser was immaculate, and quite often, I was reminded not to slam the drawers shut.

"He'll just give you one?" I lean against the door frame, and Everly wanders over to the closet. She opens it to more vast, empty space before she looks at me. "Don't you have to buy one? Are we supposed to share it?"

"Do you have a lot of clothes?" She finds this funny, and my unimpressed glare doesn't stop her. "Forrest will have to bring you some things to wear. You can't wear…that to work with livestock."

"Yeah, can't wait," I can barely hide my sneer, and she does her best not to laugh. She shuts the closet doors, but she pauses to look at me. "What? You like wrangling cattle?"

"Compared to watching Zander, sure. It'll be a breeze." She smiles again, then she looks at the bed. "I think it'll be fine. It's big enough for both of us. If we lived in the communal living, we'd be sleeping on mats if there wasn't enough space. So this is way better."

I raise my eyebrows at her because she clearly expects to share the bed.

"You won't fit on the couch so don't even pretend you will. I'm not sleeping on it, either. Who knows where it came from? So, we'll share this bed and I promise I won't touch you," Everly looks entertained again, and I'm wrong about her.

Little Amity is far braver than I had imagined. She waits to see if she can get a response from me, and when I cross my arms over my chest, she tilts her head. "Where would you have slept in Erudite?"

"They have dorm housing. You get an apartment you share with a few others." I walk over to her, and I glance down at her with a smirk. I haven't met anyone quite like her. In Erudite, girls are pretty straight forward. Ashley openly told me I was hot, and her suggestion of inviting her over was more of a demand. But Everly isn't Ashley, especially not with the way she has to look up at me, and her dark hair.

And her plan to share the bed.

I have a flash of appreciation at how unafraid she is.

"The apartments are nice. Though everyone gets their own bed."

"Well, what if –"

She's cut off by someone knocking on the door and we both turn at the same time. Neither of us move, and the knocking grows louder, then more and more impatient.

"You get it. Who knows what's at the door," she announces, and she moves behind me, like there's a monster waiting downstairs. I glance back incredulously, and I shake my head.

"How am I supposed to know who it is? But fine," I shrug. I take off, not believing in any sort of monsters or demons, and I take the stairs two at a time. "I'm sure it's nothing. Probably a neighbor. Or hopefully someone with a dresser."

I haven't been in Amity very long, but I've figured out everyone here is very friendly. I wouldn't be shocked to discover it's a neighbor dropping by, or several.

Or Jeanine, having made it a whole five hours before she came to kill me.

It's worse than that.

I open the front door with a flat smile, only to be greeted by Everly's entire extended family.


"Make a wish!"

I stand off to the side, feeling incredibly out of place as her family waits for her to blow out the candles. I end up next to Forrest, his arm bumping into mine every so often, and another beer in his hand. He winks when she smiles over at us, and his head bends in toward me.

"You like her?"

"What?" I look at him in total confusion, not even sure I heard him right, and his smile grows wider.

"Do you like her? Everly. She's really, really nice. She can't cook, she'll probably burn this place down if you ask her to make you anything, but Everly has the biggest heart out of anyone here. She kinda gets pushed to the side a lot. Our parents…" Forrest gestures at the couple I saw earlier, coaxing her to make a wish and blow out the candles. "they have a ton of kids. Always busy. Everly gets stuck babysitting or everyone forgets she might not want to help with homework. She wanted to pick somewhere else, but she didn't want to leave mom and dad."

He waves at his mother, now leading a second chorus of Happy Birthday, and the loudness of it all is a lot.

"Anyway, I was just wondering if you like her. Obviously, you must like her a little if you're okay living with her."

I blink.

In the span of the past twenty minutes, I'd learned far more about Amity than I could have if I'd researched the faction. Everly's family is huge. Her mother and father showed up with all of her siblings, one after the other, all varying heights and ages. The middle kids were all blonde and blue eyed, while Everly and Forrest had dark hair. The littlest one, a total shit who kicked me when he ran by, is named Zander. He looks like Everly, and it's clear everyone thinks he's adorable enough to get away with murder.

I learn that not only is her family very invested in her life, but so are the neighbors. They came along too, Carole and Howard, Jerry, someone named May who eyed me critically, and Landon. He brought a few of his friends, as well as furniture. They showed up with a dining room table, chairs, the dresser Everly had just mentioned, and other things. It was more for her than me, but Forrest did point out the boxes had my clothes in them, and he'd loaned me a pair of boots.

Her parents also brought a cake, pink and covered in sugary flowers, and the happiness in the room feels oppressive.

"I thought she didn't have anywhere else to stay?" I take the drink he offers me, and I know I have to get on his good side. Making friends is easy for me, but not natural. I know how to act and behave, but real connections are rare. I never saw the point of making tons of friends who'd wind up stabbing you in the back, nor did I have the patience for them. Forrest seems like he'd be a good ally, and it can't hurt to have Everly's brother on my side. "Did you make this?"

"I did!" His eyes light up as I take a sip of some interesting beer. "I'm starting a brewery here. My goal is to get it in Dauntless. They have tons of bars there. I run a small one here, but it's a lot of work. My fiancée says I'm gone too much."

"Your fiancée?"

I'd guessed Forrest was a few years older than me at most. He's roughly the same height and build, and he's pointing at a blonde girl standing next to Everly's mother. She doesn't look more than eighteen herself, and she turns and throws him one dreamy smile. She turns back around to pick up Zander, beaming when he shrieks her name.

"That's Willow. We're getting married in a few months. But don't worry, you'll find a wife in no time. Most initiates marry right after they complete initiation. If you want any sort of permanent living space, it's easier if you have a fiancée. That's why uh, I was sort of thinking maybe you'd like Everly. You could take care of her. She'll probably agree to marry you. You can have a real nice life here, if that's what you want."

Life in Amity seems to move at warp speed.

I'd been here less than twenty-four hours, and I was being offered his sister as my future wife, all because we were the last two assigned housing.

It's strange to hear him openly suggesting this, and even stranger that none of them seem to believe Everly can take care of herself very well. Or even know if she wants to get married. She doesn't seem incapable of being on her own, nor does she look like she's in any hurry to have some guy rescue her. She had no problem talking to me when she didn't know me and she did appear to be very nice.

Maybe there is more to the story than I know.

"Take care of her?"

I glance back as Everly leans toward the cake, pushing her hair back behind her ear. She's lit up by the warm glow of the candlelight, and she smiles widely when her father and Jerry encourage her to make a second wish.

"Okay, come here," Forrest gestures quickly, and the two of us step back as Everly shuts her eyes. He ducks his head so no one can hear him, but they aren't paying attention to us. "Look, I don't want to say too much, because it's not really my place, but everyone here knows Everly didn't want to stay in Amity. So I'm trying to think of a way to make her happy. I thought maybe she'd be happy if she has someone who likes her. Landon wants to marry her, but he's…he does some sketchy stuff."

"Like what?" I glance over at Landon, watching Everly like a hawk. He doesn't look too thrilled to be celebrating, and he frowns when she shuts her eyes tighter. "What kind of sketchy stuff?"

"You'll see. Just…keep her away from him. She seems really happy to be staying with you. I just thought maybe…maybe things would be different now. Plus, the earlier you find someone, the better. The end of initiation is like, the hunger games as everyone scrambles to find someone to live with."

Forrest finishes speaking right as Everly blows out the candles. Everyone cheers, Zander the loudest, and her mother reaches to move the cake and cut it. Everly grins when one of her sisters whispers something to her, and they both turn to look at me, doing their best to look like they aren't looking at me.

No one in the room notices because they're too busy passing out plates and forks and knives. There are presents for her, all wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine and stuck flowers, and a vase with pink roses. There are a few balloons, a card made by the little shit with his name written all over it, and a single gift with Landon's name on it.

She really does look happy.

Everly catches my eye from across the room, and just like back at the choosing ceremony, she doesn't look away.

Not even when her mother sets down a large piece of cake for her and then asks if I'd like one, too.


"Move."

I try to nudge her out of the way, and she shakes her head.

We're fighting to brush our teeth in the decent sized bathroom. In Erudite, my bathroom was the same size as my bedroom. It was so large I could have lived in it, but Blythe would have disapproved. Here, I'm trapped inside dark walls, pale pink towels, and a tiny roommate who needs to use the exact sink I'm using.

"Everly, there's another sink over there."

I point in exasperation, and she finds me oddly funny.

She has yet to figure out sharing is not in my genetic makeup.

I have no siblings, no pets, no extended family past grandparents who died when I was too young to really know them, and one lone, increasingly batshit crazy, aunt. No uncles or cousins, and only a few family friends with kids my own age.

In an interesting parenting choice, Blythe chose not to teach me to share. She and Daniel disagreed on this daily, right up until a few days before I left Erudite. She taught me my possessions are my own; if someone wanted to borrow them, it was my decision if I allowed them to or not. She discouraged giving my things away, sharing any of the expensive toys or electronics I was given, and was smug when Daniel protested she was raising a self-centered child who wouldn't get along with anyone.

I'm sure he watched a future including a grandchild go right down the drain when I willingly subscribed to Blythe's theory of not letting anyone touch what's mine. It went down the drain further when I only ever brought one girl home, she was even bitchier than Blythe and she barely blinked in Daniel's direction or acknowledged he existed.

Ashley, a brief and volatile tornado over a few weeks, is the exact opposite of Everly. I can't imagine brushing my teeth by her or preparing to go to bed beside her.

"I was here first," Everly's eyes widen, and she mockingly sulks as she steps to the other sink. I'm having a hard time with a lot of things about her, but especially how she's half my size. The nightgown she'd pulled on is hideous, something frilly and too long and offensive, and her hair is a mess. She's still very pretty, but it's odd to know she's about to climb in bed with me.

I've never once had anyone sleep beside me.

Rylan spent the night as kids, but even he stayed in one of the guest rooms.

Or he fell asleep on the floor. Or in the hallway. Or once, drunk off his ass when he turned sixteen and his dad let him have a few drinks at his birthday dinner, he fell asleep on the oversized and pure white couch Blythe had picked out for the entryway.

Her shriek upon discovering him woke up everyone, including Rylan, and he promptly threw up all over it.

"Are you nervous for tomorrow?" Everly rinses her mouth with one of the cups we'd brought up here. "You shouldn't be. Jerry is really nice. He'll start slow. There's no rush in the Amity initiation."

"No, I'm not nervous."

"Does anything make you nervous?" Everly asks curiously, and she rises up on her toes to put her toothbrush away. I suppose I have to put mine by hers, and in a strange act of fate, Forrest has brought exactly two: one pink, one blue. "Are you afraid of anything?"

"No." I throw her a dirty look, but she shrugs it off. "Why would I be afraid of some chickens and a few sheep?"

"It's more than that," Everly warns me, and with great horror I realize she has the upper hand here. "There's a lot to taking care of them. Some of the older cows…um, sometimes people get attached and take them home to live out their days. Not everyone here eats meat and sometimes there's arguments over if our animals should be raised for food. Jerry will talk about all that tomorrow."

"Do you eat meat?" I stare at her, trying to size her up, but she's swathed in loose fitting fabric. The only thing I notice is her bare shoulder, her tiny shrug, and her bare feet. "No?"

"Sometimes. I don't not eat it," Everly watches me carefully, and there's a moment of awkwardness while we both stand there. "Um, I'll let you change. Do you care what side of the bed you sleep on?"

For a second, I don't answer.

I finally shake my head no. She hesitates, and I know she wants to ask me something else. I've known her for mere hours, yet she has no issues trying to pry information out of me. Even now, she looks up at me, working to keep her expression neutral.

"Hey, what did my brother talk to you about? Did he say anything…um, important?"

I quickly debate what she considers important. Forrest had said a lot, but the main takeaway was he cares about his sister and considers her betrothal to me her best shot at being happy.

I couldn't tell if this meant Forrest's standards were high, or very, very low.

"He asked if I like you," I pause when she blinks, and her posture changes. She lingers in the doorway, her fingers pressing on the frame. "Since we were going to be living together, and if I'd consider marrying you once initiation is over. He said it would be easier to get a house if I were married."

"Oh," she deflates instantly, and her gaze falls to the side of me. "I thought maybe he was saying he wanted to be friends or something. Not…anything about getting married. I'm fine. I don't need to get married. And he's just being dumb. It's not that hard to get a house. I'm sure you'll do fine and you'll get a good job and Johanna will let you live wherever you want."

I shrug, not really wanting to discuss this any further. All of this makes me feel uneasy; it's too personal, and way too soon.

I don't really know her, or her family, but I have a feeling Everly will be just fine no matter what happens.

"It's late," I turn the water off. "I'm sure he's just…" I try to think of a reason her brother would tell me any of this, and I come up with nothing. "Trying to help."

"Yeah, I'm sure." Everly smiles, but not really, and she glances back. "Okay, well I'll let you finish in here. Goodnight."

I watch her leave, shutting the door softly behind her, and I close my eyes tightly, wondering what the fuck I've gotten myself into.


Turns out, Everly is very used to sharing a bed.

I can tell, because she's so far on one side it looks like she might fall off the bed, and already half asleep. I can barely see her beneath the sheets and comforter. I fumble to turn the main light off, and everything hits me all at once.

This is nothing like what I was expecting.

I'd picked Amity to piss off Jeanine and screw over Blythe. I didn't really want to stay in Erudite and picking Dauntless would have kept me on a radar I didn't want to be on. I didn't necessarily agree with her ideas about Divergents.

The first time she told me about them, I rolled my eyes. She compared them to the factionless, and I knew what she was hinting at. Erudite didn't have a large factionless population, but every so often, one would wander by. Rylan occasionally bought them a coffee or a pastry, and the coffee shop always tried to shoo them away. Rumors swirled most of them didn't fit in anywhere, and according to Jeanine, Divergents were the same.

Everyone had a place.

Everyone fit into a faction.

So hearing there were people out there who didn't fit into one should make me uneasy. Rylan made a face at this theory, claiming the factionless were harmless, but I knew Jeanine wouldn't agree. She wouldn't stop until she had the answers she wanted, including what was causing divergence.

The offer of helping her had been appealing, until it wasn't.

I could see the way Blythe did everything to make sure her sister was happy, even at the expense of her own family, and I wasn't about to put myself through that.

Which is how I ended up here, standing at the end of the bed, listening to Everly mumble goodnight.

"I set an alarm," she mumbles from her pillow. "We don't have to be there until noon, but just in case."

"Thanks."

I pull the covers back on what's considered my side of the bed, and I hesitate when the wind picks up. It howls, scraping the side of the house, and Everly glances over.

"It's just the wind."

"I know that," I hiss, and I try to remember if I locked the door. I'm pretty sure I did. I'd walked Forrest and their parents out, and they all said goodbye in the kindest way possible. Everly's father wasn't exactly intimidating, but he'd looked at me for a second, and his eyes slid up to the second story. It was strange to know he was fine with leaving her here, but he must not be worried. A second later, he half hugged me, the action weird and foreign, and he thanked me for looking out for her.

I was starting to wonder if Everly had a habit of getting into trouble I didn't know about.

"Goodnight, Eric."

Everly returns to making herself as small as possible, curling up beneath the covers and facing away from me. I climb into the bed beside her, what feels like a million miles away, and I don't realize how tired I am until my head hits the pillow.

"Good night, Everly. Happy…birthday."

Her muffled thanks is drowsy, but it doesn't bother me. I sink into a bed that's not mine, into a pillow soft and far different than my own, and I close my eyes.

I open them a second later.

The sounds of Amity are something else. There's the howl of the wind as it whips around the house, the creaking groan of the house as it settles, and the faint noises of whatever animals are emerging in the darkness. Everly is dead asleep, faster than I can count, and she's even quieter than before. Her breathing is slow and deep, and it takes her all of three seconds to sprawl out, flinging her arm toward me.

She mumbles something, a name I can't make out, then nothing.

I exhale heavily, letting go of the exhaustion and the lingering threat from my own aunt, and I focus on how today went. It was better than expected, and with any luck, tomorrow would be decent.

If not, at least I have somewhere quiet to go home to.

And Everly.

She'd be here, even if the day sucked.

I fall asleep thinking about this, lulled by the promise of this sudden, yet appealing temporary normalcy and the thought of her brother suggesting I marry her sooner rather than later. I dream of Jeanine, tearing up a pink wedding announcement before dragging me back to Erudite, only to trip over Zander while Noelle holds up my jacket in surrender.


"This here is Bessie. Bessie is ten years young, has had six calves, currently has one on the way, and will kick you in the face if you touch her ears. She doesn't like her ears touched, so make a note of that."

Jerry is entertaining.

He was less entertaining when I learned he is Landon's father, but Landon is nowhere to be found. This is fine by me. The first official day of initiation is well under way, and the clothes I have on feel strange. I hesitated between choosing something lighter or darker, and I wound up picking the darkest blue shirt I could find, and the darkest pair of pants. I dressed quickly, still parting my hair, and scowling when I realized I had nothing to put in it, but I gave up when I conceded it wouldn't matter.

I am in Amity, and the only one critiquing my appearance these days is Noelle.

Now, I watch Jerry pat Bessie on the back as she lazily eats some grass. He's surrounded by all of us; the class is enormous, all of us looking at the livestock while Jerry introduces us to each animal. I appear to be the only one waiting for more. I wait for him to explain how to care for them, or the difference between the cows who live here, providing milk, and the ones who would eventually end up as dinner.

But so far, he is introducing each one by name and insisting we repeat it after him.

"She really does kick. She's knocked Zander down a few times. He tried to sit on her," Everly whispers, and I try to stifle the bark of laughter.

My morning had been strange. I'd woken alone, to the smell of coffee and eggs and bacon, and I wondered if Forrest was a terrible liar. He'd said Everly couldn't really cook, but maybe he was tricking me. By the time I stumbled downstairs, not entirely awake, I realized Everly's mother was there, cooking breakfast while Everly read her birthday cards. My stomach tensed at the sight of them, because my birthday is today, and I haven't told a soul.

I made small talk with her mother, answering a few questions about my name and if I was liking Amity so far, and I lapsed into silence while Everly opened Landon's gift. It was a book, a heavy one that made her sigh, and she shoved it away in pure annoyance before her mother could ask what it was.

I caught the title as we left together, and I smirked at the thought of him thinking she'd like to read a book on how to be a good housewife.

"Over here, this one is named Ghost. I named her after a wolf in a book I read. She's kinda like a ghost, always vanishing whenever she's supposed to be milked." Jerry throws Ghost a dark look, and if a cow could be expressive, she throws him one right back. "Now, tonight, you'll need to think about what types of animals you're comfortable working with. Some of you will take over raising the livestock, and some of you will take over in the stables. There is a position as a poultry specialist, and one working with Carole. You uh, may want to really research that one before you apply."

"Why?" I ask only Everly, but next to me, Noelle nods.

"Yeah, what's wrong with Carole? I thought she seemed lovely?"

We'd met Carole briefly, and those two minutes were enough for me. She was blonde and intense, an arrangement of flowers shoved into her hair, and her beady eyes watched us walk by her chickens. She was irrationally territorial; she explained all of them were happy with her, and they deserved to live outside, not in cages.

I was the only one who snickered when Noelle pointed out they were in cages, just larger cages meant to look like the outside.

"Hey, have you met Trevor? He's from Candor, too. So is his friend Trent," Noelle elbows me, stepping daintily over a pile of cow shit, and she makes a face. "Gross. Who cleans this up?"

"Uh, we do. Or…more correctly, you will. Farm hands are always needed, and most of you will end up helping one of us." Jerry looks at her, and he points at her boots. "Careful where you step. Don got loose this morning. Got into the pig feed. He's probably not feeling too hot right now."

"Who is Don?" Noelle looks horrified, and next to me, Everly does her best to keep a straight face.

"He's one of Carole's chickens. He goes missing from time to time. We think he's trying to escape."

She falls silent as the two boys Noelle wanted me to meet walk over our way. They're obviously friends, or at least became friends after coming here, and both look as apprehensive as one would expect. They grow confident when they realize this isn't up my alley, and both offer their hands.

"Hey, we heard you're from Erudite. I'm Trent. This is Trevor. We both came from Candor. We were told it's easy here so we thought we'd give it a shot." Trent grins, and he shrugs when one of the Amity born asks how many cows a farmer is allowed to keep for personal reasons. "You liking it? We slept like shit."

"Uh yeah, it's fine so far. Minus the cow shit," I shake both their hands, the act formal and out of place here, and I size them up.

Both are strong, smart, and normal.

"You sleep okay? Forrest said you got shafted on the sleeping arrangements. I was by some girl who cried all night," Trevor chimes in, and his dark hair is unkempt. "It was almost impossible to sleep."

"Who cried?" I glance around curiously, avoiding his question.

I'd slept fine.

The bed was large and cold, and I only woke up once, when Everly moved closer, and her fingers grazed my hand. Other than that, she was so quiet I barely heard her get up, and now, she's giving me plenty of space as she joins her friends to look at the baby calf someone has walked out.

"I don't know, some girl. Over there. I think she's from Abnegation?"

I lose interest as soon as he says Abnegation, and I find myself impatient for things to pick up. I don't like the lack of order here, or the insanity of memorizing the names of cows.

I zone out until Jerry tells us to take a break, and I walk along with Trevor and Trent in search of water and shade.


The rest of the day is impossible.

After a few hours of doing nothing, Jerry gives us a long list of the livestock on his farm, and we're supposed to go through and record each one. Most are tagged, but a few are new. If we find those, we're supposed to tag them ourselves, or call him over to help.

By the time the sun begins to drop, I've lost my patience so many times I've lost count. I only have half the animals checked off, and Everly smiles sweetly as she hands in an entirely completed list. He congratulates her, and her friends Sophia and Courtney, and he cheerfully informs the rest of us we can finish tomorrow.

I glare at all of them, the cows, the chickens, the donkey that ran away braying every time Trevor got close, and I hate them all.


I read the text while I sit on the couch.

It's risky having the phone out, even in the safety of the house, but I'm quick. I don't have a charger, so once it dies, it'll be dead for good, unless I can find one. I read the words a few times, while Everly carries in some bags from the general store, and she pays no attention to me.

Happy Birthday, Eric. I know things did not end well, and you may never read this message, but just know I'm sorry. For everything. If I can come visit you, I will. Jeanine said if you change your mind, or things end up not to your liking, to please call her. She'll get you out, no questions asked. I know you'll do what's right. I'm proud of you for doing what you wanted.

Daniel.

I read it again, trying to decide how guilty he's feeling or if this is Blythe putting him up to it, and I miss Everly stopping in front of me. I look up at her face, and she tilts her head, quickly reading the words.

"Today is your birthday?"

The slight insult in her tone isn't because she actually cares. She seems disappointed over not being included, though this is just my observation. She reads the words again, frowning as I power the phone off, and she frowns even further when something dawns on her.

"Are you nineteen now?"

I nod away the common denominator of our age. She looks disappointed at this blistering age gap but it only lasts a second. "Okay, well I'm going to put the groceries away. I thought maybe we could eat when I'm done?"

"Sure," I stand up, nearly knocking her over, and I decide to take a shower. "I'll be back. Do you need help?"

I hope she says no. Daniel's words bug me, evoking both paranoia and irritation, and I want a second alone. I'm relieved when she waves me off, and she watches me stomp upstairs without saying anything else.


What feels like an hour later, I part my hair.

I stare at my reflection, daring it to show me someone different. I'm still Eric; I'm still as tall and as fit as I was a few days ago. My hair is still neat, though it threatens to wave without the heavy gel I'd used in Erudite. My t-shirt is white, new and starkly bright, and purchased by someone else. I throw on pajama pants, cringing at the thought of them being gifted to me on behalf of another member. They are warm and clean, and the icky feeling of second-hand clothing fades after a second.

Fuck.

I try to ignore the pang of…something…something I don't recognize washing over me. I'm not one to ever doubt myself, but seeing my father's words reminded me I could be elsewhere, with a determined future. The unknown isn't something I like, and instead of going along with what Jeanine offered, I'd chosen a path no one expected. Not even me.

"Get it together. This is nothing. It's fucking, Amity." I swear at myself, wondering if it is possible to become a leader here. For half a second, I imagine taking over the faction and ramping up the security factor –which appeared to be zero so far – then living my best life out of revenge. Proving them all wrong. Making Amity something more than Carole's playground and a place where it was fine to get married after a day of knowing someone. I could make an army here, a better army than Dauntless had, and I didn't need my aunt to hold my hand.

"Eric, are you…are you okay?"

Everly's voice breaks my downward spiral, and I hesitate to tell her yes. She calls my name through the bathroom door, polite and worried. She is the very definition of Amity; soft and kind, always thinking of how she could help someone else to make them happy. I'd been her focus yesterday, except for the few precious minutes of her birthday, and today is no exception.

"I'll be right there," I bark back, and I give myself another minute to regain my composure.

I'm fine.

Amity is fine.

I'll play by the rules, make it through initiation, adopt a cow and chicken who were having a tragic love affair, and if things got shitty, maybe I would leave.

Or maybe I was being a bitch because I didn't like not having any hair gel.

I decide I'll be forced to the general store, though I don't know how I'll pay for anything since I never got a card. I think of this while I take the stairs two at a time, nearly knocking Everly over.

"I uh, I made you something. I thought maybe you'd be hungry." Everly stands at the bottom of the stairs, and shockingly, the kitchen is not on fire. The table is set for just us, and she's made what appears to be waffles. "I don't really know how to cook a lot of stuff…yet, so I made breakfast."

She looks up at me, still hopeful, like I can offer her more by accepting the dinner she's made, and I find myself staring at her.

"My mom stopped by while you were in the shower. She helped me," Everly keeps explaining, and the quick dinner makes sense. "You don't…you don't have to eat it."

She takes my silence as rejection, but really, I don't know what to say. The gesture is nice, a little too kind considering I'd swatted her away and gone to be alone with my thoughts. I struggle to come up with the right words to thank her, and for a second, I can't look at her.

There's a cake on the counter behind her.

Not hers, but a large, chocolate one someone has made.

"My mom brought that over. I guess…um, Johanna told them it's your birthday but I didn't think you wanted everyone over to celebrate. I told her you liked it quiet." Everly steps close to me, daringly so, and her dress is the same one she'd had on this morning. She seemed fine wearing it as she wandered around the barnyard, and it's a prettier version of the one she had on yesterday. "I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you."

I finally answer her, swallowing thickly.

My uncertainty is not over the dinner or the cake or someone knowing it's my birthday, but the kindness shown. It feels strange, like a trick or like something will be expected of me after.

Jeanine is a master of manipulation; she'd offer you the world, but with all the strings attached.

"Just you and me? Your little brother isn't coming?" I eye her warily, and I take a step closer to her. She shakes her head no, and her smile is quick. "Okay, good. Because he sucks. He kicked me when he showed up and he kicked me when he left yesterday."

"He's at home with my mom and dad. I can go get him if you want," Everly laughs, more of a giggle but that doesn't feel right. It's sweet and nice sounding, and I feel a rush of jealousy over the thought that she's laughed around someone else.

I realize I'm being a moron.

I follow her to the table, and I sit down across from her.

She takes her seat, and she happily reaches for the heaping tower of waffles. Her hair is half up, spilling down her sides and around her face, and she looks fairly content with this quiet party. She has no idea this is the only party I've had in years.

She waits until I'm looking at her, and she smiles widely. "Happy Birthday, Eric."

I watch as she drenches her waffle in syrup, and she watches as I reach for my own.

Had I chosen to stay in Erudite, I'd be drowning in Blythe's lectures or Daniel's apologies.

Had I picked Dauntless, I'd be listening to Rylan joke about everything, while trying to figure out the best kind of foods to eat to keep up my strength while mentally keeping tabs on my competition.

Had I gone anywhere but here, I'd be eating dinner alone, lost in my head while the world went on around me.

In Amity, I eat dinner, or breakfast, with Everly, going as far as to have half a piece of the chocolate cake, still warm, and surprisingly gooey, and I grudgingly decide it's the best birthday I've ever had.

It ends on a high note, Everly and I cleaning up the mess together, and for a single second, she bumps into my chest. She stays there for just a moment, her head smack dab in the middle, and I don't push her away.

I let her stay there, warm and small and resting against me, and I consider it a birthday gift to myself.