Author's Note: Hey guys,this is going to be a one shot story.I have been wondering how the characters in the Star Wars universe would react if they accidentally crashed a party on Earth celebrating May 4th. Disclaimer: don't own Star Wars! I did create Nira Sunrider, though.
Earth, Year: 2021 A.D.
The clone pilot struggled to regain control of the damaged shuttle. It was hurtling toward the atmosphere of an unknown planet at an alarming rate. The ship began to burn when it hit the planet's natural, built in protection system. The clone soon began to realize that his attempts to slow the fall of the shuttle, were useless. The best he could do was prepare for impact. "Generals," he said over the speaker," we're about to crash, strap yourselves in." Then, they hit the planet's surface, and the shuttle's occupants knew no more.
When Master Plo Koon regained consciousness, the first thing he saw was a little boy wearing Jedi robes, with a plastic lightsaber in his hand, leaning over him. "Are you a mechanic, or something? Your shuttle looks so Star Wars like, almost as if it were real." Plo Koon started to reply, but his clone Commander, Wolffe beat him to it," that's because it is real, kid. What planet is this?" The little boy looked at him, a funny expression on his face. Suddenly, he laughed," Oh I see, you're pretending that you guys are Jedi that crashed on this planet, and my proper reply is supposed to be 'Earth'!" Again, Plo opened his mouth to reply, but this time he was interrupted by the Appearance of clone commander Bly, and General Aayla Secura. " Master Koon, don't you think that we should contact the Jedi Council and inform them of our situation?" The Twi'lek knight asked.
Plo Koon stood up," are our communications working?" " Master Kenobi is checking that right now." Secura said. She looked over, for the first time noticing the child. " Who is that?" "I'm Luke," the boy said," May the fourth be with you! Do you guys live around here? If so, we are holding a party for our neighbors and you're invited!" Aayla was about to open her mouth and say that they did not live here, and that they came from a long time ago in a galaxy far far away ( jk about that last part), but Plo Koon interrupted and said," yes, yes we do."
" Great! Let's go!" Just then, Obi-Wan Kenobi, commander Cody, and another clone emerged from the ship, and looked on in confusion at the sight that lay before them. Plo Koon beckoned the trio to follow them, giving them a look that said he would explain everything later. " So," Aayla Secura said," what did you mean by May the fourth be with us?" Luke stared at her as if she were stupid." It's May the 4th!" He huffed," Star Wars day."
A woman, wearing an apron, approached them." Luke," she said," are these more of your friends?" " Yes mom. Where is your costume? Who are you going to dress up as, mom?!" " Oh I am just going to be myself, sweetheart." Luke's mom surveyed the Jedi and clones." The ones wearing the helmets are fine, but these two," she said gesturing to Aayla Secura and Obi-Wan Kenobi," will have to wear masks. Do you have any masks on hand?"
" Um…well- actually," Kenobi stammered," we don't happen to have any. Why would we?" The woman frowned," where have you guys been? Antarctica? You are adults," she chided," because of the Coronavirus we all have to wear masks and practice social distancing. If we don't, more people will die! Now I will provide the masks, so don't worry. I am sure this past year has weighed rather heavily on you guys. Good news is though, that the President has said the pandemic will be over soon."
Luke's mom led them over to the house and showed them a table where disposable masks were lined up. " Mom," Luke complained," the masks will ruin the costumes!" "The masks will not ruin the costumes, so relax." At that, the woman walked off leaving the little group to figure out the mask ordeal. Luke made a face," it used to be that we couldn't hold a gathering of more than 10 people, unless you were at a funeral, then the limit was 30. So at Thanksgiving, I held a funeral for my dead pet turkeys– which my mom bought at the store already dead– and held a 'funeral for it'!" Luke smiled, looking immensely pleased with himself.
" Okay! What Star Wars movie should we start with first, Luke?" A man, presumably the boy's father, asked." Hmm, no I do not," Luke said in a Yoda- like voice, then he turned to Master Plo Koon," What think do you? The Originals, prequels, or the sequels?" Plo looked vastly amused," how about the sequels?" " Which episode? 1,2,or 3?" " Two!" Aayla Secura blurted out." The boy nodded," very well, then. Two it is."
They sat down on the couch to watch the movie. The accuracy astounded both the clones and Jedi. " So, who wants to duel me?" Luke asked, twirling his plastic saber." Oh, wait! This is my favorite part!" He said excitedly,"Anakin is about to single handedly beat up Zam Wessel and-" " He did NOT do it single handedly!" Obi-Wan said. " How would you know, you're no- oh right, I forgot. You're dressed up as Obi-Wan Kenobi. The real Kenobi was about to protest that he was Obi-Wan Kenobi, when Plo Koon shot him a severe look, that made him shut his mouth.
Plo Koon was trying to figure out how in the force the inhabitants of the planet Earth knew so much about galactic history. It was possible, he mused, that the Earthlings had a seer that forsaw the future. However, the Jedi master wasn't so sure that a vision would be as detailed as this. Plo was snapped out of his reverie by the sound of Luke saying,"Chancellor Palpatine! How goes the Sith business? When do you plan on giving the order to execute the Jedi and take over the galaxy? You know, order 66!"
Chancellor Palpatine did his best to look innocent, but inwardly he seethed. He had been stuck on this blasted planet for nearly a month now, and he was pretty sure that he was being brainwashed by the stupidity of the Earthlings. To top that off, the Jedi sent to rescue him, crashed their ship as well, so now there was no way to leave this puny excuse for a planet. " I love the Jedi! Why would I want them dead?" " Um…maybe because you're Darth Sidious, the most powerful Sith Lord to ever have lived." Was Luke's reply. The Sith lord sighed in disgust, this boy was ruining his plans, time to remedy that.
He ignited his lightsaber and pounced on the boy. Luke lifted his fake one to defend himself, he was thrilled, he hadn't expected a duel. Sidious slashed the plastic saber in half. " Wow, dude! That's a real lightsaber!" The Sith lord snarled angrily, the stupid child thought that this was a game! Preparing himself for another attack, Palpatine leapt at the boy, only to be stopped by two blue lightsabers. They belonged to Plo Koon, and what Palpatine recognized as Luke's mother.
" Since when were you a Jedi," he hissed at her. " Before you were even born," came the woman's serene reply. " Impossible!" Sidious broke the lightsaber lock, and with the sweep of his blade he turned and decapitated the clone pilot. The other guests in the house, who all had originally thought this to be a game of some sort, panicked at the sight of the headless corpse. One woman screamed, while another, and I might add more practical one, called the police. Luke's mother created a pillar of light, and separated the chancellor from his force abilities, permanently seering his connection to his evil powers.
The Jedi stood there in shock. " Who are you?" Plo Koon demanded. "Nira Sunrider," she replied," I am Nomi Sunrider's great great granddaughter. I will take care of the police. Because of the unusual circumstances surrounding the clone's death, I can guarantee you that the FBI will get involved. You leave them to me, I've handled them before."
One Week Later:
After throughly investigating the case, the FBI declared Palpatine mad, geek scientist who had succeeded building a real lightsaber. He was admitted into an insane asylum, because he kept insisting that he was a Sith lord, and that he was going to rule the galaxy. Which, of course, everyone thought was completely absurd. Strangely enough, the autopsy on the dead clone revealed a chip in his neck, which would become the newest conspiracy theory, and raise a lot of controversy for the next decade.
The Jedi, with the help of Nira Sunrider, fixed their communication system and contacted the Jedi council. " Hmm, why answering us have you not been, Master Plo? Missing for a year, you were." Plo Koon launched into the entire story of what had happened over the past week. To the bewilderment of the council, he explained that they had been missing for only one week. That's when Nira stepped in to explain about the Star Wars movies, even further confusing the Jedi masters.
" With Palpatine in jail," she was saying," order 66 has been prevented. But like master Yoda said, or will say, the future is always in motion." Obi-Wan Kenobi assumed a thoughtful pose, he had now seen all of the Star Wars movies, and was hoping that 3-9 would not come to pass. He'd found the Mandalorian tv show extremely intriguing. He had become rather grumpy, when he found out the Maul had killed Satine Kryze.
Meanwhile Plo Koon was struggling to make since of the entire Star Wars saga. The Clone Wars tv show had left him heartbroken. He'd found himself close to tears during Ahsoka Tano's trial and refusal to rejoin the order. Sighing he said to himself," I need to go home and rethink my life." "Hey!" Kenobi squealed," that's my line!" " Why does it matter?" Kit Fisto asked. " Why you stuck up…halfwitted…scruffy looking…NERFHERDER!" Aayla Secura roared. Kit looked truly perplexed," whose scruffy looking?" Mace Windu jumped up and said," this party is over!"
Ki- Adi Mundu looked over at Nira Sunrider," he's political idealist, not a murderer," he assured her. " Hmm going to the Tosche station I was to pick up some power converters," Yoda whined. Nira put a hand on her forehead, alternate reality 1,567,234,203 was NOT going as planned. Well…at least she had prevented order 66. The Jedi seer George Lucas was right, they never did learn.