At Charles de Gauelle, waiting for her flight, Piper had a lot of time on her hand to think which, to be honest, was a punishment. She couldn't even dare to cry right now. It was her fault. She deserved it. The pain, it was a punishment for ruining the best thing that ever happened in her life. But it was bound to happen someday. The truth was bound to come out. In this scenario, at least there's a slim chance that Alex will forgive her one day. When she saves her, she will apologise. She will beg her if it comes to that but she will try her hardest.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. She sniffled. The timing had to be such a bitch. Diane fighting there for life and she can't even help Alex go through this. God, what Alex must be feeling now. All because of her.

Suddenly, the air in the waiting room is too thick. The people too loud. And Piper couldn't breath or think. It's just Alex and how cruel she had been with her all this time when Alex had been nothing but honest. All the self loathing turning into little drops of water at the corner of her eyes. She must look awful to the outside world. What would Carol say if she sees her like this? She would probably scold her for being so dramatic.

So, Piper stood up, startling the kid sitting beside her. She dashed for the washroom figuring she could use some peace. She locked the door behind her. She went to the sinks and rolled a bunch of tissue papers together, thin and long enough to be stuffed inside one of the smoke detectors above. She pulled out a small packet of weed and a piece of paper from the inside stitch of her hoodie. The flight was going to be long. And she needed some relaxing.

She laid a piece of paper on the countertop and spread about 1/2 gram of weed evenly on it. With one hand holding the paper, she shaped the joint by moving the cannabis around to where it's distributed across the paper. She pinched the paper between her fingertips and slowly rolled it back and forth. The routine process of rolling a joint brought back some peace to her mind. She promised just one or two drags to get her mind straight, take the edge off. Nothing more.

She jumped up on the countertop and lit the joint with a makeshift lighter from her phone battery. She observed the red slow burning of it before taking a long steady drag. Her muscles instantly relaxed and head felt a bit lighter. The sadness felt a bit heavier on her shoulder. But the guilt got reinforced.

You don't deserve to love her. You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was too good for your ego. Or maybe, maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you don't deserve to love her. Because you don't destroy the people you love.

She rested her head against the mirror, dangled her feet beneath her and crushed the butt of her joint against the Persian marbel. She put the battery back in her phone, humming. She tried to recall any number that she could call at this moment. First it was Diane, which absolutely was not possible. Then came Cal, her brother. Maybe she could call him. But what if he's asleep. It's 6 o'clock here. Thinking it was worth a try, she dialed his number.

He picked up the call after two rings.

"Cal Chapman speaking..." his voice as cheerful as ever.

"Hey Cal, it's me." Piper said, smiling.

"Pipes? It's so good to hear from you. Wait, I should wake up Neri. She would be thrilled-"

"Wait, who's Neri?"

"She's my girlfriend."

"No offence but you have a girlfriend?"

"Hard to believe, I know. I couldn't believe either. She proposed at a pot smoking party at Shi's. She's great and she makes world's best pot brownies. You should come by sometime."

"Yeah, I would... I would like that."

"Yeah, she thinks you are cool. I told her you're a spy and all that. How's everything going in your spy life?"

"Not great. I fucked up." Piper said.

"Spilled coffee on boss kinda fuck up or America under attack kinda fuck up?"

"Neither." Piper replied. "I... ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. My girlfriend...I, she-"

"No offence, but you have a girlfriend?" Cal said mockingly.

"None taken. And yes, I had a girlfriend whom I love but I made a mistake. A huge fucking mistake. And I don't think she will forgive me."

"Hold on, hold on." Cal said. "Where are you right now?"

"In a washroom at an airport, smoking a joint." Piper laughed self deprecatingly.

"Pipes, do you remember what Dad used to do after fights with mum?"

"Yeah... he used to go away for long, long times for medical conferences or whatever. Why?"

"And do you remember, what that would do to Carol?"

Piper sighed. She had no idea why Cal was digging up the old corpses.

"I don't know... alcohol, glass after glass. Is there a point to all this?"

"Yes, you see, we all learned pretty fucked up things from our parents. Like for example, I always find escape in pot. And you, what do you do?"

"I...I," Piper sighed. "I run away. Like dad. Cal-"

"Yes. And as you can see, that fucking hurts. We should always settle our fights and not leave them in fear of confrontation."

"What if I didn't have a choice? What if running was the only option?"

"Then you tell the other person that they are not the reason you ran. That you ran because you had no choice. Think about that person, you ran away but they are there, probably blaming themselves. You get what I am saying?"

"Yeah." Piper released a ragged breath. "It's just, I have always been so good at being alone-"

"But how good at being alone do you really want to be? Isn't there a danger that you'll get so good at being alone, so set in your ways, that you'll miss out on the chance to be with somebody great?"

Piper let his words reciprocate within her for a few seconds. Piper never thought she would be taking relationship advice from Cal but he definitely knew what he was doing.

"Pipes, you there?"

"Yeah, Yeah... I am here. Have you been talking to a therapist Cal?" Piper joked.

Cal laughed before replying. "No, it's just Neri. She gives me these awesome books about self discovery. I read them when I get stoned off my ass. Maybe, that's why they seem so awesome, I don't know. She makes me a better person. She's always saying these things like ABC. Always be closing. Finish what you start. You know that kind stuff."

"Yeah. I am really glad for you."

"You should come by with your girlfriend, sometimes." He suggested.

"Maybe I will." Piper smiled at the prospect of having lunch together with Alex and Cal. "I have to go now. Take care, Cal."

"Will do, sis. Call anytime for relationship advice." Cal chuckled happily and hung up.

Piper cleaned up everything. She got back on her feet and called Alex. The call went straight to voicemail after ringing twice. Piper paced the washroom before sitting again on the counter. She exhaled softly and called Alex again.

———-

Thanks for being kind in the reviews. I really appreciate the support.

This is short one. The next chapter is from Alex's POV. Hope you enjoyed it :)