Draco was getting closer…every moment he sat on the train and they made it towards Hogwarts, Harry could feel him getting closer. Never mind the fact he was on the very train Harry was on, Draco Malfoy was only going to have the chance to talk with him once they were at school. Therefore, he was getting closer.
When they got off the train and people spotted Harry, they all swarmed him and gave him a huge welcome back.
Dumbledore, McGonagall, and several more of the staff met him by the front doors to greet him personally, and he was again greeted in Dumbledore's opening announcement at the feast. Harry had probably seen every face of Hogwarts looking at him – including Draco Malfoy's. Harry found himself cringing from the sight of Draco, feeling his stomach roll and his head heat up. He wanted to openly look back at Draco, try to judge whether his surprise was mingled with any other feelings. But the Slytherin was well versed in keeping himself compartmentalized; if he didn't want Harry to see him squirming, Harry wouldn't see it. But like everyone, there was surprise.
One face Harry hadn't seen was Neville's. As it turned out, he was there; he was just keeping his distance. He was sitting as far away from Harry as he could, and yet he continuously kept glancing at Harry. As they were all ate, Harry leaned over and asked Hermione how he was.
"Oh…Neville. Harry, don't blame yourself or anything, but he hasn't been the same since you left. He feels guilty for what happened to you."
Harry didn't like thinking Neville felt that way. Guilt was one thing that is hard to swallow, even months after the deed was done. Neville's plants may have started it all, but they didn't do this to him. Harry didn't get a chance to talk to him until late that night, as he waited for Neville to come up to the room. He was waiting an awfully long time, so decided to go down and find him.
Neville was sitting by the fire, dozing in his uniform. Harry woke him with a gentle shake.
"I don't blame you, Neville, just so you know. I don't blame you at all."
It was a good long time before the grogginess left Neville's face and he found his voice.
"Everyone else does," he said. "Professor McGonagall gave me detention until the end of the year."
"I'll talk to her. I'll tell her it was all just an accident."
"But it was my plants that made you go – all – you know."
"It wasn't the plants. I should have told you this two months ago, but it wasn't them. It wasn't – all – the plants."
Harry sat close to Neville and rung his hands in front of himself nervously. He didn't know how to approach this subject, but he felt like Neville should know the truth if it meant he'd feel better. "Did Ron and Hermione ever tell you what really happened?"
Neville nodded sullenly. "Yes…" he seemed to have lost his voice after that.
That surprised Harry. "Does…everyone know?"
Neville shook his head, "No! Those who do are keeping it a real secret. I know because Hermione told me. She said they don't want everyone knowing or you…"
"Or I'll what? Curse you all?"
Neville shook his head. "No…or you might never recover."
Harry let that sink in. So, his friends were pretty close to the truth of how badly this affected him. No wonder they didn't want to bring up the sore subject.
"I'm recovered, now. I'm better."
Better enough to forgive Draco Malfoy?
"But it was my fault. I made you think it was Ron, and that made it possible for…you know. It was my plants, and I swear to you, Harry, I haven't grown a single plant since then!"
That was some unfortunate news. "You love growing things, though."
"Not after what happened," Neville said.
Harry sighed and shook his head. He hadn't ever told anyone this, but this was almost like an opportunity in disguise: Harry would get to tell his secret to someone else, and Neville would probably feel better. So, he took a deep breath, and he went for it.
He said, "The plant toxins were mostly gone by the time it happened. I knew what I was doing… and I wanted to do it…but I wanted to do it with Ron, not whoever it was."
Neville just looked at him with wide eyes and his mouth almost hanging open.
"Don't tell Ron that, okay? He would hate me if he knew."
"No one will hate you…" He said compassionately.
"I had sex with a bloke and liked it. You really think absolutely no one will hate me for that?"
Neville smiled, "All the girls will hate you."
Harry couldn't help smiling a little, but sobered quickly. He couldn't imagine what would happen if Ron knew he was mostly sane when it happened. Ron had come to believe that the event didn't count against Harry at all because he was delirious with passion for him. Harry tried to imagine broaching this with his two friends, but always evaded the end of that thought.
"So, you promise you won't tell Ron? Or Hermione?"
"I promise. I won't tell." The way he said it – Harry believed him, but he had to be sure.
He said, "Ron would be the one to never recover…"
"I promise, Harry. I won't tell!"
Harry nodded and smiled.
"Come on. Come upstairs. It's cold down here."
Neville started to rise, but then stopped and looked at him sincerely. "Do you know who really…you were with?"
Harry shook his head, unwilling to tell that part of his story.
"I think you should find out. I think he should be punished."
Harry shrugged, looking down and away because he hated lying at this moment.
"You seem…almost okay about it…like you don't care if whoever did it will be found."
Harry nodded in agreement. "I had a lot of help since it happened. What matters now are the people who help me, not the ones who hurt me."
"St. Mungo's is a really great place," Neville said agreeably.
Harry swallowed hard and nodded. He knew Neville's mom and dad were living there. Suddenly he felt even guiltier. He never thought about it before, but the lie that he was at St. Mungo's must have been a little bit frightening to Neville, but it was still a lie he wasn't yet willing to dispel to everyone.
He pulled Neville to his feet. "Come on. Let's go."
Harry got into his bunk and closed the curtains, and then he relaxed. At last he was home safe.