Five

'So are you going to say something, or are you just going to stand there all night staring at me?' Leigh pulls the cord of her robe tighter, folds her arms across her chest.

'I...' I drag a hand through my hair. What the hell can I say to make this right? 'Who told you?'

'Does it matter?' Leigh hisses. 'I think what's more important is that you didn't. But if you must know, it was Mary Braithwaite. You know, your work buddy—sorry, former work buddy—Tommy's wife. Asking me if you'd found anything yet, because Tommy was all for them going back to Texas, trying find something on the oil fields on account of there being no decent paid jobs round here anymore. And I'm standing there in the middle the grocery store like some dumb idiot asking her what in hell she's talking about. I mean, Jesus, Tim, what on earth were you thinking?'

'I was thinking you didn't need to be concerned about money on top of everything else we've got going on.'

'No. You just thought it'd be a good idea to make me a laughing stock instead. I mean, I can only imagine the bitchy gossip she was spreading soon as my back was turned, poor Leigh Shepard, she didn't even know he'd got fired...wonder what else her husband keeps a secret from her. You're unbelievable, sometimes.' She stalks past me out of our bedroom and into the kitchen, leaving me to trail after her. But she won't look at me, as she turns away and busies herself with filling a glass with water.

I stretch out a hand, about to touch her shoulder, to pull her into a hug and tell her how damn sorry I truly am. But then a rolling wave of doubt drags me under, because what if she pushes me away again? My arm drops, heavy as lead, and I drag out a chair from the table and slump down, rest my head in my hands until finally she sets down her glass and sits opposite me.

'Jesus, Leigh, I'm sorry, alright? I fucked up big time and you've every right to be angry. Only you have to believe me, it wasn't deliberate. I was about to tell you the other night, but then you were already in such a state, that I couldn't dump my shit on you too.'

I reach across the table for her hand but she snatches it away, leans as far back in the chair as she possibly can.

'What? So now you're saying it's my own damn fault you lied to me?'

'No. Stop twisting my words. You know that's not what I meant.' I pinch at the bridge of my nose, wishing the pounding behind my eyes would stop. 'You were already freaking out about how we were gonna manage. So I figured if I let it lie for a couple days and got my ass in gear to line up some new work, then it'd save you having to worry.'

'And have you? Found something new?'

'Yeah.'

'Whereabouts?'

'Over Brumly way.'

'Doing what?'

I shrug at her, then pull the cash Chris gave me only a couple of hours ago from my pocket, toss it on the table between us. 'Pays well.'

'That's not what I asked, Tim,' Leigh says, her words slow, like she's trying not to lose it with me. 'I asked you what job it is you've managed to find so quick?'

I pick at the scab forming on the back of my left hand, tearing the wound open again, my eyes on the pooling blood staining my skin scarlet as it runs between my knuckles. 'I'm working for Chris.'

'Chris?' she asks, a frown creasing her forehead as the realisation of who exactly I mean hits home. 'As in Chris Lewis?'

'Yeah.'

'But you said when we got married that all that was in the past. You promised me. So what is it you're doing for him?'

'This and that. You know he's got legitimate business these days? That not all of it's off the books?'

'Right. So what side of the business is it you're working in?'

I press my fingertip to my split knuckle, but the blood won't stop, it just smears even further across the back of my hand.

'Look, babe. It won't be forever. But we need cash to tide us over, pay the bills until something more permanent comes along.'

From across the hall, Grace coughs, her breathing raspy, quickly followed by ragged sobbing.

'Yeah?' Leigh gets to her feet, the chair legs scraping across the tiled floor as she heads towards our baby, pausing momentarily in the doorway to throw one more question at me. 'And what happens when you get hauled in by the cops? You think they won't come down hard on you because of your record? How d'you want me to explain to the kids when you get locked up again, and they won't get to see you for months, years even? Then even when you do eventually come home you'll be a stranger to them.'

'Leigh, wait.'

'No, Tim. I need to settle her before she wakes up her brother. Just go to bed, and we'll talk about this again in the morning. I don't want to hear any more of your bullshit. Not tonight.'

I lie on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, tossing and turning as sleep eludes me. Rolling onto my side, I stretch a hand across the bed, but my fingers find nothing but cold, empty sheets in the space where Leigh should be.

Throwing off the covers, I pad down the hall. Through the low glow of the nightlight I spot Leigh, sat the rocking chair beside the cot. Grace snuffling into her shoulder as she sleeps against Leigh's chest.

'Hey,' I whisper, creeping closer, kissing Leigh's forehead and smoothing my palm over Grace's feather-soft hair. Crouching down, I kneel beside my wife, praying that this time she'll at least hear me out.

'You know I love you, right?' I slip my hand over hers, intertwining our fingers. 'And the kids. And I'm sorry, I know I screwed up big time by not telling you. So please, can we stop fighting?'

'Yeah, okay.' Leigh sighs. 'But I still don't like you being there, Tim, so promise me you'll only stay until you find something else? That you'll keep on looking and you won't let him drag you back in for good?'

I dip my head, avoiding eye contact as I say what she needs to hear. 'Yeah, I promise.'

'Well, alright then.' She squeezes my hand. 'And no more secrets?'

'No more secrets.' I stretch up to kiss her. 'You coming to bed? Now she's sleeping?'

Leigh nods as she rubs Grace's back, then leans over the cot, gently tucking the blanket around our daughter as she settles her down before following me back across the hall.

'So what is it you're doing for Chris?' Leigh asks, as she slides into bed beside me, slipping one arm across my chest, her breath warm on my skin. 'You never did tell me.'

'Bits and pieces. Helping out in the bar, mostly.' Despite the darkness, I automatically twist my head away to avoid her searching gaze, scared she'll see straight through my half-truths if I don't. 'You know, working the door, making sure there's no trouble, that kind of thing. Maybe some driving, collecting deliveries and crap like that. Nothing major, nothing illegal. And definitely nothing that'll get me in any trouble.'

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone reading, and especially for the reviews, follows and favourites :) Hope you enjoyed this chapter too?