AN: It has come to our attention that many readers do not remember what happened in earlier chapters. After a conference with Ignus Dracorex (the coauthor you probably all forgot about) we decided to do story recaps at the beginning of each new arc. Here is the first recap. Enjoy.
The Adopting Naruto arc: ch 1-12.
At the tender age of five, Naruto gets a bit fed up with his foster family and decides he wants out, so he goes for a walk to see the Hokage. He never actually makes it because he is distracted by Ichiraku Ramen on the way. Iruka is at Ichiraku's and decides the Naruto is cute, and he's gonna keep it. Naruto is not sure about that plan, but Teuchi approves, and that is all that matters, so Iruka takes Naruto home.
After Kakashi freaks out over not being able to find Naruto, Iruka drops Naruto at the park for the day where Naruto makes friends with Hinata. At the end of the day, Naruto meets Shikaku, Iruka's jounin sensei, and decides that Hiashi Hyuuga is a nice man. The council calls a meeting because, unlike Teuchi, Danzo does not approve of Iruka keeping Naruto. At the meeting, Hiashi gloats about Naruto thinking he is a nice man after Shikaku mentions it to annoy Danzo. In a further attempt to annoy Danzo, Shikaku sticks up for Fugaku when Danzo starts picking on the Uchiha. Said Uchiha starts having an existential crisis, thinking that maybe his life is a lie and it is only Danzo that hates his clan, and not the whole village. (Watch this space.)
Feeling rather annoyed, Danzo decides to take matters into his own hands and hires a Mist ninja to kill Iruka. He picked the wrong kunoichi, and Mei Terumi is not coming to the party. She accepts his mission, and then arranges to have a pair called Wind and Rain save Iruka at the last second. (Remember these two, they are kinda important.) Iruka goes on a mission, after telling Naruto not to cause too much trouble while he is gone. Naruto takes this advice to heart and immediately begins planning a prank. Shisui Uchiha also goes on a mission after chatting to Itachi about stopping the Uchiha coup. After beating up some Mist ninjas, Shisui arrives back in the Leaf just in time to catch Naruto and Hinata graffiting mustaches on the Uchiha police force's faces. Shisui acts his age and joins in.
Meanwhile, Mei gives Iruka the evidence against Danzo before knocking him out and leaving him in the care of Wind and Rain, who played the part of heros perfectly. Shikaku takes his genins back to the Leaf and consults with the Hokage, who gets Iruka to unseal the envelope Mei placed the evidence in. The seal is an ancient Whirlpool Seal, but luckily, Iruka is from one of the Whirlpool founding clans and opens it easily. Naruto is impressed and asks Iruka to teach him about sealing (watch this space).
The Hokage calls a meeting of the clan heads and Danzo, who is Not Pleased by any of this. Fugaku arrives having just started growing a mustache, and forbidding his clan to stage a coup after some upstart called him a coward (remember the upstart, he's important.) Danzo is executed for treason after the Hokage tells the clan heads what he has done, and they all get very angry. Wind and Rain soon find out and are very pleased that Danzo is gone, mentioning plans to tell Yahiko. Iruka starts teaching Naruto fuuinjutsu and literacy. Meanwhile, Kakashi sees Wind and Rain watching Naruto. They soon notice him and leave, but not before Kakashi overhears the shady pair remark that Naruto reminds them of "sensei", and that they want kids, but the world is too dangerous, even with Danzo gone.
Arashi and Kazama arc: ch 13-21
Lord Third hosts a party for Naruto's sixth birthday, at which Shisui gets a sugar high, Naruto steals the Fourth Hokage's cloak and learns who his parents were. Naruto also learns that his godfather, who sends him presents around this time of year, is named Jiraiya. A month later, Jiraya's present of a lot of Mount Myoboku themed school supplies arrives. Fugaku is seen laughing in public and Tenzou blackmails Kakashi into going on a date with her (remember this date, it is important). Naruto also reveals that he can smell the ANBU (Kakashi) who hangs around him sometimes, a fact that will be very important later, so remember it.
The Chunin Exams are coming up and Iruka has to study, but while he does Naruto alternates between playing with his friends and practicing his fuuinjutsu. He is now good enough to use proper inc and study unsupervised. Iruka leaves Naruto with very specific instructions on what not to do, so of course Naruto accidently does all those things. He makes his plushie Gamabunta stick to his arm, creates a seal capable of causing an earthquake, summons a Shinigami named Joe (remember him, he'll be back in the story soon), and summons a unicorn named Sparkles and a phoenix named Sparky. Hinata goes into business with the unicorn and Naruto keeps Sparky as a pet. The training culminates with Naruto turning off his personal gravity after drawing a seal on his arm in his own blood. Even the combined might of Hiashi and Hizashi Hyuuga, Shisui Uchiha and Fugaku of the Mighty Mustache cannot help, so Naruto is stuck floating until he can turn off the seal himself.
While Naruto has finally done what we created this mess solely to have him do, a kinda-old couple in the land of Tea have discovered their long-lost son is actually alive, so they head off to the chunin exams, hoping to find him there. So while Iruka is blatantly wearing the Fourth's old jacket and Naruto got the best view in the stadium thanks to his floating, the Fourth Hokage's parents are taken to see the Hokage. Turns out the kinda-old couple are the Fourth's mummy and daddy, who thought he died when their village was destroyed. They found out otherwise after Kazama saw Minato's profile in a bingo book (you better remember that, it will be mentioned again). Arashi and Kazama are suitably upset after learning their son is dead for realsies now, and head off to leave the village while Lord Third goes even greyer trying to think of a way to unite them with Naruto. Iruka hears about the goings on, withdraws from the the Chunin Exams and summons Joe the Shinigami (who will be back, so don't forget him). Joe confirms Arashi and Kazama are Minato's parents, grabs Naruto and flies off to give him to the sad couple. Fugaku of the Mighty Mustache sees a Shinigami fly past with Naruto and, like the good police chief he is, goes to investigate.
Fugaku of the Mighty Mustache does the responsible thing and packs everyone off to see the Hokage before sending Joe and Naruto to fetch Iruka. While they do that, Lord Third explains the situation to Lord Fourth's parents, who are suitably miffed they were not told about Naruto right away. Fugaku of the Mighty Mustache comes up with a solution to the problem, saying that no one would care if Lord Fourth's parents looked after the jinchuuriki Minato died to create. Hiruzen agrees and insists Arashi and Kazama also look after Iruka (watch this space, it's about to get real interesting). Arashi and Kazama agree, although a little reluctantly. Iruka and Naruto are ecstatic with the turn of events and Joe is sent back to Shinigami land.
The Academy Days arc: ch 22-29
Naruto starts at the Academy with his friends, and meets Sasuke at the opening ceremony. Sasuke gets all clingy and jealous when Naruto waves to her Dad, Fugaku of the Mighty Mustache. Lord Third, seeing the danger of having all four pranksters in one classroom, puts Hinata and Choji in one class and Naruto and Shikamaru in the other. Some of the kids from Root are also starting the Academy, and everyone's favourite Sai and his brother are in Naruto's class. Meanwhile, Sasuke has met Shino and Madoka (who in case you haven't figured it out yet is genderbent Sakura.) Some kid tries to make fun of Choji, and Hinata promptly scares him away from the academy forever, opening up a place in her class (watch that space). Later on that night, Naruto goes to visit Iruka in his room and has a chat about how horrible the Academy is, and learns that the shinigami his Dad used to seal away the nine tails was named Steve. Naruto is a little miffed that he cannot share a room with Iruka anymore because he wants bunk beds .
While all this is going on in the Leaf, Karin's mum has decided, after consulting Joe the Shinigami, that she and her daughter are moving to the Leaf. So they pack their s### and head off. Karin goes to the Academy, taking the place of the boy Hinata scared away on the first day. At the Academy, Karin makes friends with two other aspiring medical ninjas: Madoka and Ino. The three of them join a newly formed class for medical ninjas. Hinata takes Karin to meet Naruto, who shows her his anti-gravity seal. Karin summons Joe in an attempt to copy the seal. Joe unsummons himself after he nearly lets slip something about saving someone. After a while, Karin's mum turns up, as does Iruka. Turns out Iruka's Dad trained Karin's mum.
About a year passes, during which Iruka turns 17 and becomes a chunin (we forgot to mention that). Arashi has fun playing Dad to Iruka and Naruto, while Kazama and Iruka are locked in a power struggle over Naruto's upbringing. The power struggle culminates in an argument that ends with Iruka running off to go on a mission to cool off. Lord Third sends Iruka to the ruins of the Hidden Whirlpool as the Chunin commander of a team made up of Hana Inuzuka, Might Guy and Itachi Uchiha. Their job is to retrieve a scroll from the Temple of Joe. Only members of the Whirlpool's founding clans can get in and out of the temple, which is surrounded by a wall of fire. So Iruka goes off by himself to get the scroll after setting off an old trap that disables ninjutsu and genjutsu use. In the temple, Iruka runs into Mei Terumi again. She's after the scroll too. While Iruka does the hanky-panky with Mei, his team is part of three-way fight against some Mist ninjas, Rain ninjas, Sasori of the Red Sand and Kakuzu of the Hidden Waterfall, who is only interested in bounties. Itachi helpfully points out which Mist Ninjas have the biggest ones, and Kakuzu and Sasori soon claim their prizes and leave. Might Guy beats up the Rain ninjas all on his own while Hana and Itachi share some dango and become besties.
There is also a scene in which we reveal that Wind and Rain work for Akatsuki, and that Akatsuki sent someone to retrieve the scroll. But it is ultimately Mei who gets the scroll after knocking out Iruka once he has his pants back on. Iruka is embarrassed by the manner of his defeat, but also rather pleased with himself because he screwed sempai. He rejoins his team, who found a picture of him as a baby, and the four of them head back to the Leaf. On the way, Iruka learns about specialist exams at the academy, and resolves to have Naruto pass based on his fuuinjutsu. Upon arrival back in the Leaf, Iruka discovers that Naruto turned off his anti-gravity seal and painted mustaches on the police station. Iruka also makes up with Kazama after much apologizing on both sides. The Uchiha police send the Prankster Gang an invite to paint the chief's door with mustaches, and run off to get better locks for their lunchboxes so Hinata can't steal their food.
Kakashi arc: ch 30-35
We rejoin Naruto after a time skip that takes us to where cannon began: with twelve-year-old Naruto graffiting the Hokage faces the day before his graduation test. Upon being caught red-handed, Naruto makes like his future son and Bolts. He gets a lecture from his grandparents and Iruka, but it doesn't matter since he can pass on the specialist test easily. Speaking of passing, half his classmates did that the previous year, after their old senseis retired and were replaced by Iruka and Mizuki. So now all four pranksters are in one class because the two classes combined under Mizuki for the final year. Iruka has the new entrants class. Mizuki refuses to let Naruto take the specialist test, but passes Naruto just barely out of pity on the normal test. His aim is to give Naruto no chance with the jounins, but Kakashi isn't playing ball and throws out his genins' profiles before he's even finished Naruto's one.
Kakashi is miffed by how similar his new team is to his old team from his childhood, and promptly puts them through the bell test. However, they all have common sense and families respectively this time around and turn up with breakfast in their bellies and a plan in mind. The plan soon changes once they learn the nature of the test, but Madoka smells a rat and makes his own plan. Team Seven Passes the Bell Test so thoroughly they break the test, their sensei and the Hokage. Wind and Rain, who watched the whole thing, laugh their butts off once the coast is clear, then go home to their kid. Sasuke goes home to tell her parents she passed, and gets huffy when she sees Itachi cuddling their baby brother Eizo-Mori (watch this space).
Naruto tells his family he passed before heading to the Hokage's house to steal some photos of his parents. While he is there he stops some thieves, one of whom he recognizes as Mizuki, from killing Konohamaru. The thieves retreat with the scroll they came to steal after Naruto knocks out Mizuki (remember the thieves). Naruto teaches Konohamaru some valuable life lessons, including the sexy jutsu, and they become rivals for the Hokage's paperwork and title.
The Land of Waves Arc: ch 36-51
So now we arrive at the infamous Zabuza and Haku arc, but things happen a little differently this time. First of all, Sparky comes along for the ride. Secondly, Zabuza does not attack Team Seven on their way to the Land of Waves. Kakashi still teaches his team to climb trees like real ninjas, and Madoka masters it pretty quickly. Zabuza sends Haku to do some sleuthing, and she inspires Naruto and Sasuke to be better ninjas. Sasuke also dies her hair blue as a result of meeting Haku. Madoka and Kakashi realize Haku is a spy, but have no idea Naruto thinks she is a friend. Inari's sob-story is shared, and Naruto decides to prove heroes do exist. Zabuza decides to attack the Leaf ninjas ahead of his original schedule when he gets a message that Wind and Rain are on their way, and none too pleased with the situation.
Right on time with cannon, Zabuza and Haku face off with Team Seven on the bridge. Haku decides to solo Sasuke, and Naruto arrives late after saving Inari's mum and helping Inari awaken his inner badass. After a tussle with Haku in which Sasuke awakens her sharingan because she REALLY wants to and gets herself 'killed', Naruto gets annoyed and unleashes some ninetails fury on Haku and breaks her mask. Haku's backstory comes out, and Naruto reluctantly agrees to kill Haku for being useless. Haku sees that Kakashi is about to kill Zabuza and nopes out of that plan in favour of saving her master. Wind and Rain arrive right on cue after Sparky plays GPS for them, and save Haku from death, but not injury. Gato arrives and tells Zabuza the deal's off because Zabuza sucks. Naruto gets angry when Zabuza doesn't stop Gato from poking Haku's injury and has a rant. Zabuza gets emotional and chops off Gato's head with a kunai before agreeing to join Akatsuki if Wind and Rain heal Haku. Inari turns up with the rest of the village and helps Team Seven, Wind and Rain scare off the rest of Gato's thugs. Sasuke wakes up and is confused.
Wind and Rain go and steal the Sacred Scroll of Sealing back from Orochimaru, who was literally about to transfer his soul into an Uchiha woman and kill Mizuki for being useless. Wind and Rain then give the Scroll to Naruto, who learns the Multi Shadow Clone Jutsu from it, and also masters his anti-gravity seal with help from Kakashi. Kakashi starts Maes Hughsing over his wife and kid after Naruto recognises him as his ANBU because Kakashi smells the same as the ANBU. Kakashi is not sure whether or not to be scared of a flying, shadow clone spawning Naruto. Team Seven Heads back to the Leaf, and Inari's Grandpa names his bridge after Naruto. Back in the Leaf, Kakashi gets Lord Third to tell Naruto about the nine tails, and Naruto starts to doubt his parent's love (and yes, I am going somewhere with this). Sasuke gets grounded for dying her hair because she is not allowed to do that.
Sasuke's filler: ch 52-53
Sasuke's cat makeover emporium is discovered and Sasuke, Kakashi, Madoka and Kazama all get kittens. It's a filler, of course only two important things happen, one of which is actually relevant to the story.
Chunin exams arc: ch 54-101
And now we finally make it to the chunin exam arc, which begins with Naruto showing up later than Kakashi after he learned the shunshin from Shisui, who has his own genin team and really shouldn't be stealing Kakashi's. Kakashi leaves after being summoned to the Hokage tower where he and the other jounins discover that a rather messy Shisui had just been making out with Itachi. Shisui, Guy, Kakashi, Kurenai and Asuma all put their teams forward, and Iruka wonders if the exams will be alright.
Back with Team Seven, Konohamaru and Friends turn up to get Naruto to play with them, but end up running for their lives when Kono mistakes Madoka for a girl. Kono runs right into Kankuro of the Sand village, who is grumpy because his Dad didn't give him the yearly hug. So Kankuro tries to beat up Konohamaru, but is thwarted when Sasuke decides she wants some time to shine. Gaara turns up and tells off Kankuro for being an idiot. Naruto decides he likes Gaara and asks him to be his friend faster than Minato crosses a continent. Gaara declines the offer and leaves, but secretly wonders if friends hug each other, because if so, befriending Naruto might be a good idea, considering he wants a hug too.
Kakashi gives his genins the entry forms and Sasuke is forced to babysit Eizo, who she's never actually touched. Eizo fixes that by screaming loudly until Sasuke gives him a hug. Eizo says his first words and takes his first attempt at standing in an effort to tell his parents he thinks Sasuke's hair is pretty. Arashi announces plans to study the history of the whirlpool, Naruto discovers he can make the antigrav seal affect things other than himself and Fugaku screws up at parenting. Sasuke gets even more grounded, but that doesn't stop Shisui and Itachi from sending her to the exams so they can be alone. Itachi tells Shisui she's pregnant, Fugaku finds out and gets a bit angry. Mikoto grounds Itachi, and Shisui runs for his life.
At the exams, Sasuke picks a fight with some kid, and Rock Lee picks a fight with Sasuke. Then they all go and do Ibiki's test (after checking out Kabuto's Ninja Info Cards), which Naruto passes using a funky seal and some Naruto-ness. Anko arrives right on time for her part in the plot and packs everyone off into the forest of death after agreeing to return Eizo, who turned up looking to play with Sasuke. Anko hands Eizo over to Ibiko, who uses him to crack a prisoner. Eizo is only too happy to help, and is soon returned to mummy so that Ibiki and daddy can have a conference with the hokage about the impending invasion they uncovered.
Orochimaru doesn't show up in the forest of death, so all the leaf rookies (including Team Shisui) make it to the finals easily. They all hold a preliminary exam, which Fugaku turns up for. Naruto convinces Fugaku not to kill Shisui (the real reason Fugaku turned up) and all of Team Seven makes it through the prelims. Karin awakens her chakra chains, and Naruto assures Kankuro he only wants to be friends with Gaara. Gaara, who is jealous of how many hugs Lee gets from Guy, breaks Lee. Neji hurts Hinata and Naruto gets really angry at him, Madoka kicks Ino's ass and proves nerds can be strong. Other than that, nothing of note happens in the prelims except for Jiraiya turning up to visit Naruto and discovering Minato's parents are looking after him and have adopted Iruka as their very own.
Jiraiya trains Naruto much the same as in cannon, including the whole cliff-throwing incident. Kazama is suitably annoyed, as is Gamabunta, who is flattered that Naruto thinks he's the bee's knees and the strongest toad ever. Meanwhile, Kakashi is trying to teach Sasuke the chidori, but he has to work around her grounding schedule and Tenzou's PTSD (remember that date? Yeah, those two are married with two kids now). That, and he has a new baby to look after. After the cliff incident, Naruto goes to hospital and wakes up in time to stop Gaara from killing Lee over hug-jealousy.
So the finals roll around, and Sasuke, who is allowed to participate to give the Uchiha clan an excuse to be there for the invasion, which is still a secret, advises Tenzou not to bring her baby. Tenzou doesn't listen and comes anyway. Naruto beats the mean streak out of Neji while Sparky gets Wind to help Hinata, who is having problems with her injuries. Sparky also notices that this is a different Wind to the one he has met before, but decides it does not matter. The leader of the Sound uses her bust to get Hiruzen to delay the next match so she can go the ladies room. FYI: the Sound Leader is Orochimaru, and while she's taking a potty break, she gives Kabuto permission to postpone the invasion so he can get to the finals because she wants to watch the whole thing. So eventually they get to Sasuke VS Gaara, and Fugaku swells up with Fatherly Pride while an ANBU gets him up to speed on the invasion status. Gaara, who is jealous of the fact that Sasuke's Dad is proud of her, crushes half of her body. Fugaku awakens the rinnegan, and Itachi and Mikoto awaken the Mangekyou sharingan because they think Sasuke is dead. A nearby ANBU lends Fugaku some shades to hide his rinnegan, and Fugaku goes back to his post protecting the Hokage. The rest of the matches happen (if you can't remember them re read it), Shino cries about Sasuke's death and Temari gets pissy at Naruto after Naruto's fight with Gaara, in which Naruto knocks the life story out of Gaara and forces Gaara to re-evaluate his beliefs. Temari, Kabuto and Naruto make it to the finals, but Kabuto gets his ass kicked so Temari and Naruto can have an aerial battle.
Unfortunately, the invasion starts before they can finish because Fugaku's Deputy, Kinoko, discovers that there are traitors among the Uchiha. Kinoko promptly uses her Mangekyou (which she got when her civilian husband and kid died) to kick half the traitor's asses. Jiraiya owns the other half in an effort to protect the lovely ladies in the hot springs. Turns out the leader of the traitors is the upstart that called Fugaku a coward. Meanwhile, Fugaku is beating the stuffing out of Rasa for being a terrible Dad. He would have used his rinnegan, but when he tried he summoned Konan, who stops Fugaku from killing Rasa. While he is doing that, Lord Third is having a smackdown with Orochimaru and her summoned Hokages. Rain lends a hand, but he kills Orochimaru before releasing the reanimation jutsu, meaning the Leaf is now stuck with the re animations of Lords First and Second. Tenten is impressed by Iruka's fighting and becomes his side kick (watch this space).
Kiba leads the way on a Sasuke hunt, where they learn that Karin's mum is the Uzumaki queen and saved Sasuke with some help from Kabuto (who is Wind #2's son), Wind #2, the ANBU who gave Fugaku the shades and Karin herself. Third realizes the ANBU is not his, but Konan says the ANBU is with her. After Tenten points out that Tsunade might be able to help Sasuke, Naruto drags Jiraiya off on a road trip to hunt down the Slug Princess. Hashirama decides that Tenzou is his kid because of the DNA grafting and follows her home. Konan arranges for Lord Third to meet the Leader of the Hidden Rain.
Mushroom filler: 102-104
Deputy Kinoko escorts the Sand Sibs and their Dad and sensei back to the Sand. Gaara is happy, because even though he still didn't get a hug, the Deputy played with him after Kankuro got her high on cactus juice. Once that is done, Deputy Kinoko meets Juugo and Kimimaro, who she then adopts as her very own. Karin's mum heals Kimimaro's illness because this is a filler and it has no effect on her ability to help Sasuke stay alive until Tsunade arrives.
Speaking of Tsunade arriving, let's get on with the chapter, shall we?
Hiruzen glares at his paperwork. How dare it increase so drastically! Someone knocks on his office door. "Enter!" calls Hiruzen, glad of the excuse to ignore his paperwork for a while.
The door opens and in walks Konan, followed by two men, one with red hair and one with orange hair. The one with orange hair has a magnetic charisma about him that Hiruzen is sure draws many people to him.
I hope the red head isn't an Uzumaki, thinks Hiruzen. I have enough to deal with.
Then he sees the rinnegan.
The red head's hair is covering one eye, so Hiruzen does not know if the man has a complete set of rinnegan but, unless it was stolen, the redhead has a pair of the most dangerous and legendary eyes to ever exist.
Hiruzen's welcoming smile is a little strained. "Welcome," he says. "I've been expecting you."
"Thank you," says the red head. "I am Nagato Uzumaki, leader of the Village Hidden in the Rain."
Hiruzen nearly jumps out the window and runs for the hills.
Of course this rinnegan-bearer is an Uzumaki.
"Lord Hokage?" says the orange haired man. "You look a bit pale. Is something the matter?"
"NO, no, nothing is the matter," denies Hiruzen, trying to stop his internal screaming. "And who are you?"
"Oh, I am Yahiko," says the orange haired man.
"I am Hiruzen Sarutobi, Third Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves," says Hiruzen, stupidly.
"We know," says Konan, her mouth twitching into a smile.
"Um, have a seat," says Hiruzen, gesturing to the chair he reserves for visitors of importance.
Nagato looks at the chair, then at Hiruzen and says, "No thank you. I'd rather stand."
"Sucks for you," says Yahiko, and drapes himself over the chair.
"So how is Jiraiya sensei?" asks Konan. "I only saw him for a few seconds before Naruto dragged him away, and I don't think he even saw me there."
"Ah, well," says Hiruzen. "He is on a road trip...how do you know Jiraiya?"
"He trained us!" grins Nagato.
"He trained you…" Hiruzen is momentarily confused. Then he remembers. "Of course! You are the three orphans that he stayed in the Hidden Rain to look after!"
"Yes!" grins Nagato, stepping right up to Hiruzen's desk and leaning on it. "That's us! Can we stay in the Leaf until he gets back? Please? It's been ages since we saw him…"
"You know he thinks you three are dead, right?" says Hiruzen, leaning forward and regarding the eager youngsters seriously.
"That's why we have to talk to him," says Nagato. "To let him know we are alright, and I'm the leader of the Hidden Rain."
"Speaking of which," says Hiruzen, remembering that this is supposed to be an official meeting. "What did you want to meet with me about?"
"Oh...um...I just wanted to say 'hi' and introduce myself as Hanzo's successor," says Nagato.
Hiruzen sees through it right away. "You mean you just wanted to ask permission to see Jiraiya again."
All three of them stare at Hiruzen. "How did you know?" asks Konan.
"I spent the last 12 years dealing with an Uzumaki kid," says Hiruzen sighing. "I can read Uzumakis like an open book."
"Oh."
"So, um, can we stay and meet Jiraiya sensei?" asks Nagato hopefully.
"Yes you may, but stay out of trouble," agrees Hiruzen.
The three Dignitaries from the Hidden Rain thank Hiruzen most ecstatically and vacate his office, leaving the Hokage alone with his paperwork.
Hiruzen buries his face in his hands. He is far too old to deal with another Uzumaki.
That's it: Hiruzen is retiring and appointing a Fifth Hokage! Maybe Jiraiya or Tsunade will do it. He'll ask them when they get back.
Naruto dawdles along beside Pervy Sage. What is this Tsunade going to be like? Will they get home in time to save Sasuke and Karin's mum?
"Hey Naruto, we'll be stopping to search for Tsunade a lot, so do you wanna learn a jutsu while we travel?" asks Pervy Sage, snapping Naruto out of his thoughts.
"What kind of jutsu?" asks Naruto, interested.
"The Fourth Hokage's very own, original jutsu!" says Pervy Sage dramatically.
Naruto stops walking. His father's own jutsu… Would his father even want him learning that jutsu? Did his father even care about him a tiny bit? Naruto feels conflicted. It's probably a really strong jutsu…
Naruto looks up at Pervy Sage and asks, "Why do you want to teach me The Fourth's jutsu? You keep telling me I'm a terrible ninja."
Pervy Sage looks mortified. "Well...umm…" Pervy Sage says awkwardly. "You actually kinda remind me of me me when I was your age." Pervy Sage puts his hand on Naruto's head. "But I believe you are the only person who can surpass the Fourth Hokage."
"Really?" says Naruto, his eyes wide. Does Pervy Sage actually believe in him? Was he wrong about Pervy Sage?
"Yes really," says Pervy Sage. "Once we get to the next town, I'll start teaching you. I need to get some things to help you learn it first."
"AWESOME!" yells Naruto, and trots along beside Pervy Sage, eager to get to the next town.
Shizune is horrified when he sees what town Lady Tsunade is planning to visit next. "But this town is full of gambling centres!" Shizune protests.
Lady Tsunade ignores him and keeps walking. Tonton buries her head under her hooves and oinks in distress. Shizune scoops up Tonton and trots after Tsunade.
Tsunade marches to the gambling den with the highest gambling rates. Shizune hugs Tonton tightly, afraid to say anything lest Tsunade knock him out and stuff him in the nearest skip bin. That has actually happened before. Shizune tried to stop Lady Tsunade from gambling away all their money and woke up the next morning in a skip bin. All their money was gone, of course. Shizune holds his tongue and quakes in fear now days.
Tsunade walks into the gambling hall and opens her briefcase full of money. Shizune hides behind the door and watches in horror, unable to do anything.
The men at the gambling table stare at Tsunade in surprise.
"Exchange all this money for tokens!" Tsunade demands.
"Who is she?" one man whispers to another.
"She's the Legendary Sucker!" the man replies, grinning.
All the other men grin and laugh and generously include Tsunade in their game.
And of course they all make a killing.
Tsunade, of course, loses everything.
All this time, the men at the gambling hall have been generously lavishing Tsunade with sake in case she changes her mind and quits before gambling away all her money. Then all the money is gone, and Tsunade is drunk out of her wits.
"One more round!" insists Tsunade, waving around an empty sake bottle.
"You have nothing left to bet," points out the man in charge.
"Whaddabout these two?" says Tsunade, waving the bottle at Tonton and Shizune, who are hiding by the door.
"No, Lady Tsunade!" protests Shizune, afraid for his and Tonton's lives. "We have to leave now!"
The men fall to discussing this offer.
"I could always use a new assistant in my shop…" says one.
"The pig would make good eating…" says another
"I think it's a pet," remarks another. "I wonder if my kid would like a pet pig?"
"The young man would make nice eye-candy," puts in another. "I can always use a good piece of eye candy in my strip-club…"
Shizune grows steadily more horrified by the minute. Of course she would be able to escape any of these situations easily, but what about Tonton!?
"So it's settled then," says the man in charge. "The Legendary Sucker will bet the pig and the young man behind her."
Shizune watches the round in fear.
Then Tsunade wins big.
Not just big, but EVERYTHING. Everything she lost, plus everything put on the table that round. And then she goes another and another until the tables are completely turned and she has everything, but the others have nothing.
Shizune is relieved, but Tsunade gets up and leaves, only taking the amount she started with and leaving the rest behind.
Shizune runs after Lady Tsunade with Tonton in his arms. "We finally win some money, and you leave most of it behind! What's gotten into you, Lady Tsunade?"
"Shizune, this is terrible," says Lady Tsunade. "Everytime I win at gambling, something bad happens. Based on the amount I just won, we might be facing the apocalypse."
Shizune laughs nervously, thinking it must be the alcohol.