Chapter 3.
Alastor Moody clomped through Grimmauld Place and collapsed in a chair, throwing his hat across the table.
"Tough day?" Hermione asked as their literal slave, Kreacher, served tea to the returning aurors.
"Not sure yet," Moody said as he took his tea. "We were trying to quell the riots in the Kenosha neighborhood of Hogsmeade.
"Wait, Hogsmeade has neighborhoods?" Hermione interrupted.
"Of course," Tonks answered. "It's the main wizarding settlement in Great Britain. If it only had a few score houses, that would be terrible world building. Why, the wizarding population would be functionally extinct."
"As I was saying, we were patrolling Kenosha since that lily-livered Fudge told the aurors to stand down and let it burn. We weren't going to let that happen. ...again."
Hermione nodded. Death Eaters had burned a lot of homes and businesses before the Order of the Phoenix had realized that the magical government really had no intention of ever even trying to stop the Death Eaters and their useful idiots.
Part of the stand down order may or may not have been due to a new spell. Avada Kadoculua was a green spell that destroyed eyes irreparably. It was a green spell and looked and sounded in the casting a lot like Avada Kadavra. There were two theories in the order as to why that spell was being cast at each riot. The spell damage was irreparable but not lethal. One theory was that the rioters were trying to take out good aurors without provoking a lethal response. Several dozen auror were on medical leave thanks to this green spell. The other theory was that the rioters were trying to provoke a lethal response. By using a horrible, but non-lethal, curse; they hoped to spin the aurors eventual, inevitable response as an over-reaction.
"Do you know Kyle Shunpike?"
"Would he be related to Stan Shunpike?" Harry asked.
"Aye, his brother. But Kyle's only 16 and that's important. Unfortunately. no one told us this. Probably because we'd've told him to go home."
Hermione's mind raced. "Only 16, that means he's too young to apparate legally."
"That was part of it, for sure. Too young, too brave, and too goodhearted for his own good. And also too stupid. He heard a witch screaming for help and he raced off on his own to save her." Alastor looked pointedly at Harry who had the good sense to at least blush in embarrassment. "And the Shunpike brothers ain't too strong magically. Kyle knew he wasn't going to be able to fire more than a half-dozen curses before he'd be done for the night. So he talked to the Weasley twins."
"Oh no," Hermione already had a bad feeling about this.
"Those Weasleys are something else. I don't know where they got the idea from, but they invented a wand that's pre-loaded with 30 piercing spells. Even got a handle on it and sights to make hitting things easier. You still gotta say 'Piercio!' each time you wanna cast, but you don't need much magic power to cast. Once the 30 spells are gone, you hit a button on the handle, a cartridge drops out, and you load a new cartridge with 30 more spells. And then they painted them black to look scary. They call it an AR-1911."
Hermione, Harry, and Colin (cause he's still around in case they need another muggleborn) all face-palmed.
"Ministry's already working on banning them. As if banning self defense would ever be possible. They say painting them black was a step too far!" Alastor laughed before sobering up at the next thought. "Anyway, Kyle's out there all alone. He had an incendio and an Avada Kedavra—the real thing, not that eye popper—cast at him before he returned fire with piercing spells. Four of them, to be exact. Got the bastard too! In fact, he got three of the four bastards attacking him before the aurors apparated in!"
"Well, that's great!" Harry chimed in. "Why so mopey then? Did he die too?"
"Nope. That bastard Fudge ordered him arrested and charged before the Death Eater bodies even made it to St Mungo's. And I saw the Death Eaters he got. All horrible people. But 'upstanding citizens' to Fudge!"
"Fu-" Whether Harry said "Fudge" or something else was unclear as Kreacher chose that moment to drop a pan loudly.
"Which reminds me. We gotta get you two registered to vote. You'll need to vote for Dumbledore in November so we can kick that gibbering idiot, Fudge to the curb."
Harry frowned.
"I know, lad. The man ain't perfect and he's made more than a few mistakes where you're concerned, but he can at least form complete sentences. Unlike Fudge. That man may have taken one too many Confundus charms from Malfoy. He was giving a speech in the Wizengamot the other day and he started going on about getting into a fight in Hogwarts with someone named Corn Pop." Moody shook his head.
"Oh yeah, boss. I did that research, like you asked and no one at Hogwarts in the seven years before or after him had a first or last name of 'Corn' or 'Pop.' It might be a nickname, but no professors currently alive could ever remember anyone with that name," Tonks added.
Alastor waved off the failure. "It was a long shot. Fudge is barely able to string three coherent words together any more. Wouldn't surprise me if Corn Pop never existed."