Peace
AN: SPOILERS FOR THE FINALE – I strongly recommend to not read any further if you haven't watched it. Okay, here goes.
The last episode of this great show was sad and painful to watch for all of us. But a community as strong as the SPN-fandom can help each other heal and process. That's what I'm trying to do.
I guess one thing most fans are in accordance with is the final shot – Sam and Dean reuniting. This beautiful little scene is what I'll explore in this story.
Supernatural still isn't mine.
It was quiet and dark.
… and then it wasn't.
Sam opened his eyes, squinting at the unexpected brightness greeting him. He blinked, taking in the scene. He found himself in a sunny landscape, surrounded by quaint nature, a gentle breeze wafting in the fresh air.
It was picture-postcard beautiful.
Sam sighed, wondering. He was standing at the edge of a bridge that instantly struck him as oddly familiar. He flexed his limbs, tested his joints. Huh, weird. There was no more weariness, none of the aches of a man pushing 80. Well, he hadn't quite made it there, but 78 was not that bad. He looked at his hands, his clothes…
It then dawned on him that he was feeling younger again, much younger – and not only young but free.
He had left behind his dying body, his soul finally returning home.
This was Heaven.
Sam's long life on earth had ended. He had passed – naturally – in his own bed, with his son by his side. It was a death he hadn't dared to dream of for a long time. Yet here he was. More than ready to begin his afterlife.
His heart filled with warmth and tranquility, a welcome gift by Heaven.
And that's when Sam realized where he was – and what was right before his eyes.
Whoa.
He felt his feet move before consciously registering it, soundlessly crossing the distance to the black muscle car parked in the middle of the bridge. His eyes widened at his home on wheels he hadn't driven in over four decades. The sight of her, familiar Kansas plates from a lifetime ago in place, instantly soothed Sam's old soul like heart-balm. He let his hand hover over the Impala's timeless beauty for a second.
Baby was here and that could only mean one thing.
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Heaven was a beautiful, pain-free wonderland.
At the time of his death, Dean had left behind all his sorrows and the weight of the world that had dragged him down for so long. All the grief, all the trauma from a lifetime of fighting had been washed from his tired heart. Not his memories, but the pain they'd caused him all his life, had been lifted.
He was free at last.
Dean was leaning against the railing of a somewhat familiar bridge, Baby in his back, appreciating the gorgeous view across the riverbed. A glistening stream was framed by colorful woods and an endless, crystal-blue sky.
Dean was enjoying himself. Actual honest-to-God (Jack, whatever)joy was bubbling in his chest. It was fantastic. He was… happy? It was almost—
Something in the atmosphere suddenly shifted.
Dean could feel it.
He frowned. Something in his idyll had just changed. Something important, something great.
And then he felt a familiar weight settle comfortably around his wrist.
…and smiled.
It was time.
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Sam was exactly where he was supposed to be.
His hopes were reinforced when he noticed the sudden absence of a by now familiar weight around his wrist. Looked down. Found his hand… watch-less.
…and smiled.
He was here.
Sam's eyes darted upwards, gaze instinctively drawn to the figure leaning against the balustrade only a few feet from him.
He hardly had time to brace himself for the eruption of joy in his chest, so overwhelming and powerful that Sam's heart ached.
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Dean's heartbeat accelerated, sensing, and recognizing the presence behind him as the cosmic shift of energy it was – knowing without a doubt what – who – had caused the excited prickling under his skin.
His blissful smile widened, light chasing across his face.
Finally.
"Heya, Sammy."
He pushed back from the railing and turned around, his heart fluttering.
00000
Sammy.
This one word, spoken in this oh-so-familiar tone, tinged with fondness and affection, was almost enough to make Sam cry tears of happiness. He hadn't been called by this name in what felt like an eternity. Using the childhood-nickname had always been reserved for one person. Only him.
The one person Sam had grieved and mourned the most of all his losses – and never quite stopped. The one person whose absence had left him incomplete for the past 41 years.
And today, after decades of longing and living without him, his brother finally called him home.
That's when Dean turned around and faced Sam for the first time in half a life.
Instant euphoria swamped all of Sam's heart, body, and mind.
He couldn't help but beam at his big brother, his hero, just like when he was a kid.
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Dean blinked, sappily grinning ear to ear.
His Sammy, sparkling eyes, signature-mane, dimpled smile mirroring his sibling's, was here, right before his eyes.
His other half had made it.
Dean melted at the sight of his little brother finally finding him in Heaven.
Warmth flooded his entire body, feather-lightly tugging at his longing heart. He wanted to cry in relief, having Sam back after all this time. Uh-uh, no more of that crying crap in Paradise. Instead, his grin flashed.
After all this time… hell, actually, he had no idea what all meant. To Dean the experience of his afterlife had so far only been a short drive in his beloved car. Or, well – short was relative up here. Everything was relative in Heaven. Time was no longer an issue. Therefore, it was impossible for Dean to know how much time had passed on earth since his death.
But he did feel it – after all, their deep brotherly bond had lived on beyond death.
Even though Sam's smile was wide and genuine, his expression so bright, for the briefest of moments, something else flickered across his eyes. Those hazel orbs Dean had come to love so deeply held a wisdom beyond their age, standing testament to the full life Sam had indubitably lived.
Aw, Sammy…
Dean didn't let himself be fooled by his brother's young appearance – it was clear that Sam had years, if not decades on Dean. The thought alone made big brother's heart leap in sheer joy. Dean wanted to know everything, needed to know all about his little brother's milestones he had missed.
But not right now.
Right now, Dean allowed himself to be simply mesmerized by Sam's presence.
His little brother looked not a day older than he had at the time of Dean's death. Sam's 37-year-old face had burned itself deep into Dean's mind. And apparently, 22-year-old Sam's clothes had made it to both their top favorite memories, too – because Dean vaguely recognized the blue shirt, khaki hoodie and beige jacket as slightly altered replicas of the fashion choices Sam had made all those years ago when—
Huh.
Dean just now became fully aware that he himself was wearing pretty much the same old duds he'd been wearing that night, too. His favorite watch included – that one he knew already.
This fateful night…
It was the night Dean had come to get Sam at Stanford. The night the brothers had been reunited after a painful hiatus of three years. The night they had worked a case involving a Woman in White on a bridge – this bridge? Nah. But close enough.
Their first reunion.
Oh Heaven, always heavy on the symbolism.
Dean didn't mind one bit.
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For a split-second that felt like hours, Sam was paralyzed by pure joy radiating off his heart, processing what he was seeing. He was drinking in the sight of his long-lost brother.
Dean's 41-year-old self was smiling back at him. Those jade-green eyes, those fine lines of laughter, this smile, the worn flannel… Sam had cherished his brother's legacy, had treasured the memory of his features for what felt like an eternity. Now Dean was standing right there, exactly as Sam remembered him – minus the constant mix of worry, anger and self-blame reflecting in his face during his entire life.
Now he just looked… genuinely happy.
Sam's own smile lingered, widened.
He had dreamed of this moment for a really long time.
Sam had spent more than half of his life without his big brother. And yeah, it had been a good life, a fulfilled life with lots and lots of happy memories: Becoming a husband to Eileen, a father to Dean Jr., going back to community college – honoring his brother's last wishes of an apple-pie-life.
He had lived and loved and laughed in the past decades. He had made a life.
Sam wouldn't have had any of that if not for that stupid vamp case… if his brother hadn't—
His train of thought stopped before it could be fully realized. Apparently, Heaven protected its residents from wallowing too much in past trauma, namely reliving the exact way a loved one died, something Sam had done way too often in those past decades.
Where was he? Ah. Yes.
One last werewolf-case in Texas, then Sam had left hunting behind, once and for all. Of course, he had still protected his family and shared a great deal of his knowledge with his son so that the kid could fend for himself and his loved ones someday. But for the most part, Dean Jr. had grown up a normal kid. A bookworm like his father, a passionate cook like his mother, a brilliant student, a geek, a junior wrestling champion, and eventually – a cop… of all things, just like his surrogate aunts Jody and Donna. His uncle would have laughed his head off what with all the fake badges the famous hunters had crafted in their career.
Dean would have loved his nephew dearly.
Sam was so damn proud that his son was fighting for what's right (above board, phew!) – carrying on the Winchesters' legacy in his own way. And yeah, maybe he had become a part-time Man of Letters too, but never a hunter.
Thank God. Uh, Jack.
And Sam was proud of his kid for many other reasons, too. Most of all, he reminded him so much of the uncle he never got to meet. Sam had seen his brother in Dean Jr.'s green eyes, in his love for cars and rock music, in his happy grin at cherry-pie… and in his selflessness, his warmness, his humor. Every single day of his life.
Despite often enough feeling lonely, Sam had never been truly alone. Dean had been right all along. Just like he'd promised with his dying breath.
I'll be there every step.
Sam sighed wistfully, chest constricting from happiness, and a sliver of melancholy. Heaven hadn't taken that last burden from him yet.
He had lived 41 years without Dean. One year for every year his brother had been granted on earth. In a way, Dean had lived on with him, inside his heart. And Sam had gotten everything he had wanted. Everything Dean had wanted for him. He had made life work without his big brother, keeping his word.
Sam had found peace.
Still, all those decades he had missed Dean sorely.
That pain's not gonna go away.
Even his beloved wife and their wonderful son had never changed that. There had always been an aching, unmendable hole in his heart until the day he passed of old age. There was no sugarcoating the truth – a part of him had longed for death.
But if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing.
Dean's sacrifice would have been for nothing. So, Sam had kept living.
You always keep fighting.
He had, every day.
And now that the brothers locked gazes, bright green meeting deep hazel after all these years… Sam became aware of a truth he had always hoped for but had never been able to verify in his time on earth.
Dean had found peace, too. In Heaven.
After a too short life of constant fighting and suffering, he had finally laid his weary head to rest.
At this realization, Sam's heart thawed, cracking the armor he had preserved for so long.
All the love Sam felt for his brother – had always felt for him – came rushing into his chest, flooding his heart and his spirit, finally healing the old wound in a single redeeming moment. Just like that, Heaven's power surged through him, lifting the last burden that had felt like the weight of the world from his shoulders.
Sam exhaled in relief, dipping his head. His dimpled smile reached all the way up to his eyes.
"Dean."
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He would have missed it if he'd blinked. But he didn't, shining eyes still fixed on his little brother. Just as quickly as the dark shadows had crossed Sam's features, Dean witnessed the last remnants of past grief and hurt dissolve from Sam's face in a fraction of a second. Heaven had worked its magic, leaving behind nothing but true happiness.
Yeah, Sam looked honestly happy, and at peace with the world and himself.
The older brother felt pride well in his chest – absolute bliss – that his little brother had lived a long, peaceful life just like both Sam and Dean had always wanted for him. That Sam had found happiness.
And now his Sammy was finally home.
Dean's grin grew more intense, as did his brother's.
And then Sam said his name.
Oh damn, if that didn't give him the chills. That voice… this so familiar tone Dean had heard all his life. His mind burst with joy in contrast to his body that was just as petrified as his brother's, failing to keep up with the emotional current.
Only a minute or so had passed since Dean had sensed his little brother's unmistakable presence in Heaven. Yet, both their thoughts seemed to stretch out for hours. Oh well, time really worked differently up here.
There was another heartbeat of silence, tacit brotherly love filling Heaven's air.
Then, finally, both their bodies simultaneously regained control, following their hearts' deepest desire – at the next moment, Sam and Dean closed the distance to each other with magnetic force.
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After decades feeling like forever, Sam let himself be pulled to his brother. Dean wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug, setting off long-overdue fireworks in their bonded souls. Sam clung to him just as tightly, their heartbeats galloping in step. The brothers' bodies melted against each other naturally like two puzzle pieces clicking into place.
Just like back in the day, as if no time at all had passed, Sam's head nestled against Dean's warm neck as his big brother's hand went up to cradle the mop of hair he loved so much. Like when they were children, comforting each other, they both savored each other's so familiar scents and auras.
It was the touch of a lifetime. Well, afterlifetime.
The brothers held on, perfused by nothing but love and peace.
Especially to Sam, the long embrace felt like the happy ending he had been waiting for his entire life. He felt light and loved and whole, and oddly, maybe even more alive than ever.
Yes, Sam had left behind his beloved family on earth, his aging Eileen in the care of the son he loved so deeply – but in Heaven there was no grief, no sense of loss or pain. They would all be together eventually, he knew it.
For now, he had finally found his family in Heaven.
And Sam could feel that Dean wasn't the only family he would get back in his afterlife. Mom, Dad, Bobby – even Cas had miraculously found his save haven in Paradise instead of the Empty. All their dearly missed companions they had lost along the way were here. Right here. Both brothers could sense their loved ones' souls at peace.
This knowledge was enough for the moment. Their family would wait for them another while. Time didn't matter anymore after all.
And so, Sam and Dean allowed themselves to feel complete with just each other.
Dean squeezed his brother's frame once more, then they broke apart. At the next moment, they both settled easily against the railing of the bridge, side by side, and marveled at Heaven's beauty. Sam's hand brushed Dean's side, as Dean's arm rested comfortably on his little brother's back.
Nothing could wipe the smiles from their faces. Not today.
Two connected souls were reunited at last.
It's always been you and me.
Last words from a lifetime ago echoed in their intertwined hearts, all the pain of losing each other ebbing away, old wounds of loss and grief finally healed.
Dean had found peace in death. Sam had found peace in life.
And now, after a long and weary journey, the brothers finally found peace in each other.
Now Heaven truly was perfect.
The end.
AN: Thank you for reading. I hope this little fic can ease some of the pain us fans are feeling right now. Writing it sure has been cathartic for me. I'd be very happy to read your thoughts on this in a comment or something. Also, I'm always up for talking SPN stuff or other things, so feel free to PM me :)