Author's note:
Sometimes, it's nice to take a break from the main #meddison ship for some Mertina. Hope you enjoy it! Yay femslash! Spoilers through Grey's Anatomy seasons four and five ish.
This fic is in gratitude for all of the wonderful fans of 'Twisted Sisters' which someday I still do plan to continue in its own right.
bobbiejelly
Before You Knew It Was Me
" If I kissed people, then I would kiss you," Cristina Yang says casually as her best friend, twisted sister, and person hands her the sparkle pager.
Her voice rings in her ear, and Cristina's never felt more cared for than in that moment.
Meredith knew exactly what she needed before even she did, and that's a rarity for Cristina.
And in this case, she doesn't mind, because Meredith is someone with whom she doesn't have to have all the answers.
Before Meredith can give her another answer, she's groaning and Cristina's comment and raising her arms over her head and pressing a pillow down into her face.
"What, does the idea of kissing me make you that grossed out?" Cristina teases lightly, even though she's actually super insecure about it.
Cristina never thought about kissing Meredith before this very moment, and when she'd said it, it had been a joke.
But now that she had said it, and now Meredith might have something to say about it, she suddenly feels a preemptive loss for this kiss she's suggested but that hasn't actually happened yet, and might never ever happen if Meredith never takes off the pillow from up above her face.
"No, no," Meredith says reassuringly as she slides the pillow down. "It's not that-" Meredith promises.
"Are you sure, Mer?" Cristina says softly.
"Yeah," says Meredith. "It doesn't freak me out. It sounds... nice... actually..."
"But why did you put the pillow over your head then?" Cristina asks her.
"No reason," Meredith bites her lip a little.
"Mer, you're obviously lying here, and I thought we were going to not lie to each other!" Cristina protests.
"Okay…" Meredith concedes and finally slides the pillow back under her head.
"Okay?" says Cristina, still not receiving her answer to her burning question.
"Look, Cristina. The idea of kissing you doesn't disgust me… It makes me sort of… Curious… Y'know?" Meredith rambles, and Cristina releases the breath she never realized she'd been holding.
"Curious?" Says Cristina, trying not to sound as suddenly hopeful as she actually is.
"Yeah, curious. Like I wanna try it. Part of me wants to. To see what your lips would taste like. Feel like. To see what you'd feel like. But a bigger part of me doesn't want to mess up what we have. You're my best friend , Cristina. No matter what happens, I can always call you. And I don't want that to ever change…" says Meredith, reaching out gently to Cristina to run her hand along her shoulder.
"But what if this makes us even better friends?" says Cristina, strangely optimistically, which is way out of character for Cristina.
"You think it could make us even better friends?" Meredith asks, hopefully.
"Well, we're so close at this point that I don't think it could make us worse. Not if we promise each other it won't," says Cristina.
"But what if we're bad at kissing each other," says Meredith, humoring the idea, and Cristina, for this, is forever grateful.
"Not possible. Because I'm an awesome kisser, and based on the number of boys that are always directly located at your feet groveling for you, I'm guessing that you're a pretty good kisser also," Cristina offers, her confidence, and her signature smirk returning.
"Cristina!" Meredith exclaims, as she turns around to her side to finally face her best friend now.
"Hey, whatever. It's not like we ever have to find out…" Cristina tries to backtrack, to give Meredith an out, to let her walk away easier without breaking her heart into ten million pieces.
"Well, yeah, we could just like, not kiss. But now that it's brought up, it's brought up, and I just wanna know, y'know? And you're probably a damn good kisser too. I mean, you had Preston Burke- I mean THE Preston Burke trying to marry your ass for a whole year before he fled because he could never get over you, so now that I think of it that way- now that I'm thinking of you that way, I just can't stop, and-" Meredith does her Meredith-rambling, and Cristina for once, doesn't mind.
It's different this time, now that Meredith is rambling about her , now that she's the one that she's thinking about. Now that she's the one that's making Meredith Grey nervous.
"Or… We could kiss. And we could see… what it feels like… and we could see what happens after that?" Meredith suggests quietly, as she runs her fingers through Cristina's hair now.
It's different, her running her hands through Cristina's hair now.
She's done this before, but never as intimately as this time.
This time it's softer, gentler, and with more feeling.
"Cristina…" Meredith says as softly as she possibly can. "If we do this… you have to promise me you won't run away. Because I can't do the 'hot and cold,' with you, and I can't handle you leaving, or not forgiving me. Because you're all that I have, and if you were gone… I just… can't. "
"Mer, I'm not going to abandon you. I'm never going to abandon you. I'm not your father or your mother… Or Derek …" Cristina finally says that last part nervously.
"Right…" says Meredith, nodding to show that she's actually agreeing with her.
"Look I'm not gonna run away from you, I'm not going to withdraw and I'm not going to make you bribe me or threaten to do or not do anything. I'm not McDreamy, and I don't want to be compared to him," Cristina says determinedly.
"Of course you're not Derek," Meredith says tenderly. "You're so much less of an asshole," she giggles.
"Well I sure hope so," says Cristina softly, giggling also.
"Soooooooooooooooooooo…" Meredith tries to segue, shifting a little bit closer to Cristina.
"So?" Cristina asks her while shaking her head a little.
"Okay," says Meredith.
"Okay?" says Cristina.
"Okay, we can try the kissing thing if you wanna," says Meredith.
"But do you wanna?" says Cristina.
"If I say 'yes,' will you kiss me?" says Meredith.
"Umm… Yes?" says Cristina.
"Well okay then. I'm saying 'yes,' here, I'm waiting!" says Meredith, leaning even more forward, but waiting for her friend to make the last final move to start actually kissing her and pressing their lips together.
Cristina waits for just a moment, making sure that there aren't any 'take-backsies,' and that Meredith is not going to change her mind in an instant, and when she's sure that Meredith won't, and when she sees her friend stretched out there, her eyes closed, and her lips parted, still running her hands in her hair, that's when she finally leans even closer to her.
Cristina takes in one more deep breath before she leans in fully, and the moment their lips finally do touch, she shivers as Meredith sighs into the contact.
Compared to everyone else that Cristina's kissed so far, Meredith's lips are all small and soft and tender, and she doesn't have any facial hair, and she's soft rather than hard and demanding.
Meredith is just lying there for a second, until her lips start moving of their own accord around Cristina's, until her lips part just a little bit, all warm and gooey and inviting.
It takes a while for Cristina to notice this, to notice Meredith's silent invitation, and to accept it.
And when she does, Cristina swipes her lip ever-so-gently onto Meredith's lower lip before she teases at the inside of her lips, and that's when she hears Meredith moan for her, for the very first time.
"Cristina…" Meredith whines. "Kiss me like, more, " Meredith insists to her.
"More?" Cristina giggles.
" More ," Meredith grumbles.
"Seriously!?" says Cristina.
"Seriously!" says Meredith.
"Really?' says Cristina.
"Yes, really," says Meredith. "Really, as in I really like kissing you, and my mouth is all open for you, and you're just like, teasing, and I want you to do the thing with your tongue inside of my mouth now, because I can tell that you want to, and I want you to, and you're all squishy and warm and nice, and I like you kissing me," Meredith says insistently.
"Wow, you really do know what you want, huh?" says Cristina.
"Oh, shut up," says Meredith.
"Make me," challenges Cristina.
And of course, at that line, Cristina can't help but roll her eyes all the way around dramatically, before she most definitely, certainly, does.
***** FIN
Author's Note:
Thanks for reading, folks!
bobbiejelly