Kimiko has her pyjamas on and her teeth brushed. Now she is sitting on the couch, in between Uncle Nagato and Auntie Konan. Uncle Nagato is reading Kimiko a bedtime story and Auntie Konan is making her paper act out the story.
Uncle Yahiko is sitting at the table playing shogi with Grandpa Arashi.
Kimiko hears the front door open, and then someone walking up the hall. She squishes herself down so whoever it is won't be able to see her.
The hugest, scariest man Kimiko has ever seen walks into the room with a big kid, who looks like all the pictures of the boy who lives here, fast asleep on his back. Kimiko is scared and tries to hide behind Auntie Konan.
"Jiraiya sensei!" Yahiko jumps up from the table so fast he knocks over half his pieces.
Uncle Nagato and Auntie Konan look up too, and grin widely. "Sensei!"
Kimiko's brain catches up to what is happening. They called this man 'Jiraiya sensei'.
He is her dad.
Kimiko stares at the man, who looks like a giant to her. Then she jumps up and runs out of the room. The only place she can go is the music room, so she goes there and hides under a table.
What if Kimiko's dad is the opposite of her mum? What if he is mean and all his friends are nice?
Kimiko starts crying.
When Jiraiya walked into Minato's old house with Naruto passed out on his back the last thing he expected to see was Yahiko, Nagato and Konan chilling there like they own the place.
That is exactly what he found.
Jiraiya stares at his former students, astonished. "Nagato, Yahiko, Konan," he finally manages to say. "How are you here? I heard you died!"
"We didn't!" Grins Nagato, bouncing over to Jiraiya, a grin plastered all over his face. "And I'm the new leader of the Hidden Rain!"
Jiraiya cannot help grinning back. "I'm so happy you guys are okay after all!"
"Konan and I got married!" says Yahiko, joining Nagato.
Konan walks over much more calmly, but with just as big a grin. "We were going to have a kid. But then we had triplets."
Jiraiya laughs. He is so happy his little tadpoles are okay.
He sees Arashi get up and take an envelope off a shelf. Then Arashi brings it to Jiraiya and says, "This is for you. It is from the little girl who I am sure you saw. Well, from her mother."
Nagato, Yahiko and Konan grin at each other.
Jiraiya dumps Naruto on the couch and opens the envelope. He pulls out a piece of paper with a letter written on it in handwriting that seems vaguely familiar.
"My Dearest Jiraiya,
I'm sure you remember me ;) You did put me in one of your novels after all. It's hard to forget a black haired, golden eyed beauty, isn't it. If you are reading this letter, it means I am dead. The little girl who brings you this letter is our daughter, Kimiko. And yes, I know we only met once and I ditched you as soon as it was over. Kimiko is your daughter. So look after her. And don't let her train as a shinobi. I know she has talent for it, but I want my baby to stay pure and innocent forever.
Love Mystery Princess.
PS You better hug Kimiko every day and show her lots of love, or I will literally come back from the dead and chop your dick off.
Once he is finished reading the letter, Jiraiya feels very, very afraid.
"So what does it say?" asks Arashi, curiously.
"Um…" Jiraiya isn't sure what to say. "It basically just makes it clear that if I don't look after Kimiko properly her mother will rise from the grave and destroy me."
"What?" says Yahiko, a confused expression on his face.
"I'd better go introduce myself," says Jiraiya, tucking the letter into his pocket, where no one can get at it. He heads into the music room, where the little girl ran off to.
His daughter.
What the hell is he supposed to do with one of those? Apprentices are confusing enough, let alone a little civilian girl. The letter didn't even mention her age, but based on how long ago his meeting with the girl's mother was, she is probably eight.
Jiraiya opens the music room door and enters quietly. He hears the sound of quiet sobbing coming from under the table in the far corner. Jiraiya walks over to the table and sits down on the floor. "Hello," he says. "I'm your Dad."
The sobbing quiets a bit.
"I'm not really very good with kids," says Jiraiya. "But I'll do my best to look after you, Kimiko."
Kimiko peeks out from under the table, her nose running and her eyes streaming with tears.
Jiraiya smiles at her.
Kimiko throws herself onto Jiraiya's chest and sobs into his shirt. Jiraiya pats her back, not sure what to do. Apparently this is the right thing to do because she soon stops crying. Wiping her face on her sleeve, Kimiko sits back and looks up at Jiraiya.
Jiraiya has a good look at his daughter. She has a round face and golden eyes. Her hair is black liker her mother's, but spiky like his own. Kimiko's hair is shoulder length with a fringe in front. Half her hair is loose and the other half is tied into two pigtails on top of her head. She is wearing pyjamas, which is not surprising considering it is nine in the evening. What does surprise Jiraiya is that Kimiko's pyjamas have tiny Fukasakus and Shimas all over them.
Kimiko is staring at Jiraiya with just as much interest as he is staring at her. It is nearly impossible to tell what she is thinking, though. "Hi," Kimiko whispers.
Jiraiya's heart melts. This kid is adorable!
Before he knows it, Jiraiya is hugging Kimiko tight and cooing, "You're so adorable!"
Kimiko squeaks and gasps. "Can't breathe!"
Jiraiya loosens his hug a bit. Then he stands up with Kimiko in his arms and carries her back into the living room. Well, what used to be the dining room when Minato and Kushina were alive. The Music room is the actual living room.
"So who's gonna sleep where?" Kazama, who emerged from her den of evil while Jiraiya was making friends with Kimiko, is asking Arashi. "We did not plan for this."
"That seems unusually under-organized of you," comments Jiraiya, who honestly thought Kazama was a control freak with OCD.
Kazama sticks her chin out and says, "Kimiko has been sleeping in Naruto's bed. We planned to figure out a more permanent arrangement once you returned. But it's too late at night for that."
"Naruto's already passed out on the couch," shrugs Jiraiya. "Just leave him there and we can figure out the permanent arrangements in the morning."
"Fine, but you're staying here and-" Kazama seems to notice Yahiko, Nagato and Konan. "What's the deal? Weren't you three putting Kimiko to bed? She should be asleep by now."
Kimiko proves Kazama's point by yawning. "What about the story?" she whispers.
"Oh, we were nearly finished," says Nagato, grinning stupidly. He looks over at the couch, where Naruto is sleeping soundly. "I guess we'll have to sit on the floor." Nagato carefully removes a picture book from behind Naruto and sits down on the floor. Then Nagato looks up at Jiraiya expectantly.
Jiraiya, realizing what Nagato wants him to do, sits down on the floor beside Nagato and holds Kimiko in his lap. Nagato opens the picture book and starts reading. Konan stands behind them, where she can see the book, using her paper jutsu to make an origami show of the story. Kimiko is fascinated by Konan's paper show.
Once the story is finished, Yahiko says, "Jiraiya sensei, you should tuck Kimiko into bed."
Jiraiya knows better than to argue when the other four adults in the room are nodding in agreement. "Alright then," he says. Jiraiya stands up with absolutely no idea what he is supposed to be doing. Acting on the information that Kimiko is sleeping in Naruto's room, Jiraiya carries his daughter upstairs to that place.
As they are leaving the living room, Kimiko waves over Jiraiya shoulder and whispers, "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, kid," says Yahiko. Jiraiya figures the others are probably all just waving and smiling or something.
Jiraiya ignores them in favour of trying to figure out how one puts a kid to bed. She's had a bedtime story, so he doesn't need to worry about that. She's in her pyjamas, so he doesn't need to worry about that. What else is there?
Jiraiya finally reaches Naruto's room. He puts Kimiko down on Naruto's bed and awkwardly, "So what am I supposed to do now?"
Kimiko slides herself under the blankets and whispers, "Now you kiss me goodnight and turn the light off."
Jiraiya does not point out that he did not even turn the light on.
As to the other part of his instructions…
Jiraiya has plenty of kissing experience, just not in kissing little kids goodnight. Busty adult ladies? Sure. That is what got him into this mess. But the only little kids he's ever dealt with were his students, and he never had to tuck them into bed.
Well, except for that one time when Minato wouldn't stop crying on the anniversary of his parents deaths and insisted on sleeping in his sensei's tent. But that hardly counts, since they were on a mission and Minato didn't demand to be tucked in.
Kimiko is staring up at Jiraiya with an expectant look on her face, so Jiraiya decides to kiss her forehead. That should be alright. "Goodnight, kid," he says, awkwardly.
"Goodnight, Daddy," whispers Kimiko, lying down and closing her eyes.
Jiraiya leaves the room, closing the door behind him and sighs in relief. Thank kami he didn't botch that up.
Jiraiya heads downstairs, intending to talk to Konan, Yahiko and Nagato properly. Unfortunately, they are leaving.
"We'll come back tomorrow and tell you what we've been up to, sensei!" promises Yahiko on the way out.
"Look after Kimiko," says Konan. "She is very shy. I don't think I've heard her speak above a whisper."
"Bye!" Nagato calls, pushing the other two outside, a huge grin on his face. "Don't forget to tell the Hokage you're back, if you haven't already!"
Oh. That's what they forgot to do. Ah well, no time like first thing in the morning.
Nagato, Yahiko and Konan are gone and the door is shut when Arashi dumps a fuuton in Jiraiya's arms. "You can sleep in my study," he says. "But I reserve the right to kick you if you aren't up by the time I start work."