Remus Lupin had endured great pain in his life. But it all seemed petty compared to the pain he felt in this very second as he watched her walk away.

As his chest felt torn, his heart ripped to pieces and his soul cold and empty, he wondered why he had let her go... why he had not tried to stop her... why he had not told her what he had intended to... Oh, he was such a fool.

But now it was too late. She had made her decision, and maybe it was for the best. Remus knew that Tonks was better off without him. She would find someone new, someone young, someone whole - she would find someone worthy of her. He, for his part, would never be.

...

Tonight, he was haunted by her in his dreams. He dreamed the most precious dreams of her standing in a white dress with pale pink her on a flowery meadow. The wind blew softly and she smiled. Remus edged closer, wanting to kiss her, touch her, just be near her, but suddenly he felt a harsh breeze upon his face. It whirled away the precious image and Remus found himself in a dark forest.

Because Remus also dreamed the most horrid dreams. He saw her, looking like a ghost in the shadows of the pine trees. She vanished and he chased after her lost memory. Memory, that was all she was. He broke down on the cold ground, screaming and howling her name while tears streamed down his scarred cheeks.

And he woke up like that. Once, twice... he always woke up like that - calling her name while the sobs wrecking his body seemed to suffocate him slowly.

He couldn't seem to breathe without her anymore, couldn't seem to live without her anymore. She was the air he was breathing, she was the blood pumping in his veins. How should he be without her ever again?

Remus had no answer for that.

He would forever live with a broken heart, a broken heart only she could mend. But she wouldn't. Because he couldn't ever return to her again.

He couldn't.

He shouldn't.

But he had to.

It was three in the morning when he showed up at her door. Remus felt an odd mixture of emotions. Exhaustion from the battle and ever else that had happened tonight. Grief because he had let her go. Hope because he might get her back. And, most of all, fear because he might lose her forever. Or had he already?

"Who's there?" Tonks voice sounded from inside. It wasn't exactly cold but it wasn't warm or welcoming either.

"It's me."

"Prove it, Remus."

He held back a sigh. "I fought alongside you in the battle this evening. I witnessed you telling me that you still want me. I pushed you away and tried but failed to get you back. I'm sorry."

She was silent for a bit. "What d'you want?"

"Talk," he said, trying to sound steady although he was falling apart on the inside. "Please give me one last chance to make it right, Tonks, and I'll promise you'll never have to see me again."

The door snapped open. Remus almost didn't dare to look up at her. He would get lost in her beautiful midnight sky eyes again and forget what he wanted to tell her.

"Remus" she said, softly indeed but not as gentle as she used to talk to him. It was his fault, of course, all his.

Remus finally managed to meet her eyes and immediately regretted it. She was beautiful, absolutely and utterly astonishing. All he wanted to do was pull her in the tightest of hugs and never let go, tell her how sorry he was, promise that they would be forever from now on, never apart.

But he didn't. It wouldn't be the right way to do it, he knew. He had done things like that before, showing up on her doorstep, covered in blood after full moons away with the pack, crying at her shoulder and apologizing for everything he'd ever done to her. The result was him leaving her in the morning.

He wouldn't do that again. Remus was aware that he had broken her once too much. He mustn't do it again.

Remus looked up at Tonks without immediately looking away this time. He held her gaze steadily though he felt his guts turning upside down as he begun to speak. His voice came quieter and huskier than he'd imagined.

"I was really touched by what you said in the hospital wing. I was touched by everything you ever told me, quite frankly. You're the most wonderful person I've ever met and I am so sorry for hurting you. You deserve better than that."

She held up a hand to stop him. "If you're gonna pick up that 'too old, too poor, too dangerous' like again..."

Remus shook his head, smiling weakly. "No, I won't. You do deserve better than me but I will to try to be everything you deserve. That is, if you still want me... and if you can forgive me."

There was an odd flicker in her midnight eyes that made him swallow hard. He couldn't tell what she was thinking and that made him feel anxious.

"Nymphadora, darling, please let me call you that," he pleaded, "you mean the world to me. All the time I was so scared to hurt you by being close to you that I didn't realize I hurt you by distancing myself from you. I never meant to break you, only to protect you. I know you despise me for doing so and it is your good right. But please don't think it was easy for me... because it wasn't. The pure thought of you kept me going when I was with the pack. I've never fully manged to push you away, you know. I care about you too much..."

Remus paused. He could tell from only looking at her that she was fighting hard to keep that wall of protection she'd built up throughout the last few months from crumbling. He didn't want to crash it down and see her vulnerable again, not if she didn't want him to see her like that. However, there was one last thing he had to tell her.

"Tonight I've realized how much you really mean to me. I cannot go on without you anymore," he whispered, "I love you, Dora, I truly do."

Tonks's facial expression softened and her lips curved into a slight smile. And Remus felt hope.

She stepped closer, closing the distance between them as she reached out to caress his cheek. "I love you too, you fool."

And they kissed. Remus would never forget the feeling of her soft, warm lips on his. It felt like heaven and all good beyond. Her kiss was gentle and tender but also passionate. He returned it with the greatest delight until they broke apart.

Remus looked at her and his slight smile broke into a wide grin. "Dora, your... your hair is pink again!" He took a strand of her shoulder length hair between his fingers and let his thumb stroke it briefly.

Tonks gave a soft giggle that made Remus's heart skip a beat. He hadn't heard that vivacious, lively sound in months. Oh, he had missed it. He had missed her the very most, he thought as he hugged her tightly, not ready to let go yet...

So that's it! I really hope you enjoyed. If so, feel free to leave a review :)