Hello all. I've grown up. I've changed my pen name. I've watched the last three movies and ST: Discovery. I'm going to finish this story.
I started this story in high school when I was 15 or 16. I'm 27, divorced, a scientist, and I like my story.
Some disclaimers:
I have done James T. Kirk an awful and horrible service with this story. I will correct this.
Some OCs will stay, some will not. I lost almost all of my original story plots with this and am no longer sure where this will go.
I plan on using ENT, DIS, TOS, and the 2009 reboot as cannon. Into Darkness and ST Beyond I have not decided on but I'm not sure what purpose they will serve if I use them or at least wrestle with them.
I think I like DIS Spock the most. I love Zachary Quinto, but this new kid got me feeling hot and bothered ... mmm.
I'm still a weirdo.
I wrote in waaaaaaaay too many stupid details.
Also updating the rating to M and 24 is way too young. 25 is the new 18.
Stay tuned.
I don't have anything worth saying other than, if you're new here: welcome. If you are not new to my story: I'm sorry. The note above holds true.
I do intend to post all original, unedited chapters in a separate story for giggles ya know. I was an unwitting teenager with a very narrow view of the world and no real understanding of so many things. And that's ok. But I'm gonna do this story some justice. Be kind. I'm old now lol.
No copyright blah blah blah. You know the drill.
Hope you have fun with this one.
TFH Out.
—
Did there need to be this many people at the airport? Trinity huffed and plopped down against the wall near the gate's window. The traffic had been bad and the airport was worse. Still better than home though …
Maybe.
Did she truly believe this would help? Digging the mounds of her palms into her eyes wasn't an honest mean of relief and she felt defeated and miserable and sad and enraged. Luck was kind enough to offer her a way out when she needed it. Kind enough to let her father and step-mother be on a month long booze cruise. Her sister was working and living the life of an overly successful life as a mother, wife, and debuting broadway star. All in all, Trinity found herself in a good place to slip off for a while.
She was desperate to dive into work which was why she hastily packed three days ago and stormed off for Switzerland. CERN wanted her and they could have her body, mind, and soul as long as it would keep the clawing despair at bay.
"Sir?" Trinity stood in a peaceful sunny kitchen with a cup of tea, talking to her previous doctoral research advisor and longtime friend.
"Trinity this is a real offer. This project is in a vulnerable state and with Dr. Atlassian's unfortunate passing, I think you'd be right for it. Originally they thought maybe you were too young but now the committee needs someone and I thoroughly believe that someone is you."
Devin Tran was one of the world's leading cosmologists with a few other stints in experimental particle physics and one too many government secrets under his belt. He was also one of the kindest souls Trinity Tareen Kholer knew and owed him more than she could imagine. Dr. Atlassian was killed in a terrorist bombing while visiting some refugees in his home country.
"Trinity. Please come. I need you. I want you on my team." Her throat tightened and she agreed. She didn't need much convincing. Her attitude towards research was like a fever but also the only thing that could soothe her emotional infernos some days.
"I'm coming. If you can get your people to set everything up I can be there whenever you want." With that the conversation was over and now she would be one of the world's leading theoretical physicists working on her equivalent of the Manhattan Project.
She flinched hard as a plate crashed to the ground and there stood Mason. His big blue eyes were sad. The way he manipulated her emotions and love for him was almost like music. Fluid and purposeful and beautiful. It also left her empty at the end of every symphony lonely, wailing, and craving for anything to fill the void. She looked down at her engagement ring and then to him with a weak smile. "They need me."
"And I don't? My sweet genius," he came closer, voice rasping with emotion, eyes red. She turned away and headed for the couch. Her arms drew tight around her and she could see him behind her in the TV's reflection.
"So who was it this time?" Calm, her voice was unnervingly calm.
His mouth hung open. "No, Trin, god no, nothing like that! I haven't cheated on you. Please." He came up and put his hands on her shoulders. He wasn't much bigger than her, if any at all and some of their more tasteless arguments taught her she could handle it.
"Then what Mason? What's wrong here?" She started to her bed room, but turned to Mason first. "Go home. We need a break. I'm going into to pick up a project for work. I'll call you in few days. Bye Mason." She turned not giving him any time to respond. He just left.
With the back of her jacket sleeve she wiped off the threatening tears from under her glasses. This wasn't the time to think about it. She wanted to call Kate and Alvin. She wanted to see her bright nephew in his ever hyper state. Trinity checked her appearance in her phone's front camera. Arched, feral dark brows framed an open, kind face with a long mess of thick hair in long layers. Her hair was something she took pride in. It always looked different yet the same. She was very much a dirty, strawberry blonde who took her fair complexion and bright green eyes from her father with a frame and a face like her mother's.
Trinity punched in Kate's number. The video call rang but to no answer. She opted to leave her younger sister a sweet, calming, and exciting videomail stating her new, classified posting. Trinity had been known to disappear from time to time so thankfully Kate wouldn't take it hard. Kate knew her too well and Trinity knew what type of phone call Mason had laying in wait from Kate.
She guessed it was time to make the call she was dreading. The phone rang. No answer. She tried again, then again. On there fourth time, there was a voice.
"Hello?" Her throat tightened and somehow also dropped into her stomach. She knew that voice.
"You know," Trinity started sounding like she had swallowed a bowl full of razors, "Renee, I just didn't think you'd be dumb enough to answer his phone for him." In the background Renee gasped and there was shuffling. There were frightened sounds.
"Babe?" Mason sounded half dead. Trinity must have woken them both up.
"Fuck you. Consider your shit burned. Consider yourself dead to me." She didn't wait for a reply. She didn't give him the chance to call her back. She blocked his number immediately and was systematically shutting off the emotional valves of her brain. She had to. It was going to be a miserable and long flight.
—
"Spock … I don't know if I can handle this anymore." The Enterprise was a beautiful ship, only rivaled by that of Nyota Uhura.
He didn't feel much due to extensive conditioning to control his mental and physical reactions to external stimuli. This however, he did feel. His heart was being torn in half. The chair he was in, no matter how sturdy, could not take away the falling sensation of his stomach. Uhura was leaving him and it was his fault.
"We're moving no where. And even if we did, I cannot take your restrictions, your limits." She came closer. Her face was twisted in soft pain, "I want to be with you, I want to love you in every way possible, but you won't let me. Why?"
Spock kept a calm visage and still voice as he addressed her, "Nyota. I find myself unable to commit to such actions. It would be irresponsible."
This only angered her. It should. This wasn't her fault.
"Irresponsible? How? I love you. Spock! I want to be with you, I want that kind of relationship! We aren't going to be with Starfleet forever."
"We have time before our mission aboard the Enterprise is finished. Also, we would be subjecting ourselves to an abundance of errors, and risking the welfare of the other crew members at the whim of our emotions. It is only logical that we remain as is." Spock stood up and looked at her. This was logical. It hurt, yes, but he was protecting her.
"No, you're wrong. It isn't logical that we remain as is," she said, taking his words and throwing them at him. "It is easy to see that you really can't process the emotions possible to have a relationship. I thought we would last."
Now on the verge of tears Nyota just shook her head. "I'm leaving you. I'm sorry." She turned and left.
Spock stared at the door before placing his head in his hands. Were their rendezvous, hours together, and subtle gestures not enough? He had thought so, now he knew better. He gave her all he could without being another person entirely. He wasn't one to have excessive public displays, or to have superbly intimate acts until he was ready on his own terms. They had only been together for a little more than a year. Nyota was fully human, and being a human woman, expressed her emotions to her fullest. It was different when they were a secret, but when they became openly affectionate, she changed.
Crying wasn't in him, that was too large of an emotion to let out. Still, he could not change how he felt. The rest of the evening was spent in his cabin studying charts.