Naruto has only just finished talking to Killer B when his Grandma grabs him by the shoulders and says, "You aren't getting out of it this time."
"But-!" Naruto tries to protest, but his Grandma drags him away.
"Stop whining," says Naruto's Grandma firmly. "I said I would take you out to lunch to celebrate your promotion to chunin, and that is what I am going to do."
"But I don't wanna eat old people food, 'tebayo!" Last time Naruto went out to eat with his Grandma, he ended up eating weird old people food.
"We are not getting old people food," says Grandma firmly.
Naruto is so busy trying to get away that he doesn't see what restaurant they stop in front of.
"Ah, my old friend," says Naruto's grandma, like she is about to wage war. "We meet again at last. And I have lost time to make up for."
Naruto turns to see who or what Grandma is talking to.
Ichiraku Ramen?
"But I thought you didn't like ramen," says Naruto, dumbstruck.
"It's not that I don't like it," says Grandma, seriously. "It's that I've been refraining from eating it in your presence so I do not set a bad example. But you know what? Screw it. It ain't working."
Naruto stares at his Grandma, thoroughly confused.
Naruto allows his Grandmother to lead him into Ichiraku Ramen. Old Man Teuchi smiles and says, "I wondered when you two would come in together."
"I gave up," says Naruto's Grandma. "I gave up because he's just like me. But smaller. Triple my usual order." Naruto's Grandma sits down, a look of pure determination on her face.
Naruto sits down, staring at his Grandma. What is going on here?
"The usual for you, Naruto?" asks Old Man Teuchi, smiling.
Still staring at his Grandma, Naruto says, "Yeah…"
Once Naruto's ramen arrives, he stops staring at his Grandmother, who is politely eating a large bowl of pork ramen. After devouring about ten bowls of ramen, using all the table manners his Grandma drilled into him, Naruto glances over to see how far through her bowl his Grandma is.
She is politely devouring her 29th bowl. The empty bowls are stacked neatly beside her and another is waiting. Grandma sees Naruto staring. She grins and pokes his nose. "I can eat three times as much ramen as you kid."
Naruto just stares at his grandma while she eats a 30th bowl, wipes her mouth and pays for all the ramen.
White.
White everywhere.
The light is blinding. Sasuke feels a strange, floating sensation.
Realizing her eyes are closed, Sasuke opens them, blinking and squinting against the blinding white. It is the ceiling. Sasuke turns her head to the side and sees her father sitting in a chair by her bed.
"Dad?" says Sasuke. Her voice feels raw and scratchy. "Why are you wearing sunglasses inside?"
Sasuke's dad looks up. He was staring at something that is sitting in his lap. Sasuke cannot see what it is, though.
"Sasuke…!" To Sasuke's surprise, her Dad starts crying and places his hand on her head.
"Dad?"
"You're still grounded," her Dad says, wiping tears away from his eyes, and knocking his glasses asque. "But you slept away a good few weeks."
Sasuke smiles a tiny, tiny smile. Her Dad is trying to hide how worried he is by telling her she's still grounded. "What happened?" Sasuke asks.
"You nearly died," her Dad tells her. "You've been in a coma for nearly three weeks. Naruto went and found the best medic alive to heal you. Karin and her mother pulled you back from the brink of death and kept you alive until Naruto brought back Tsunade. Tsunade and Okami did their best to fix the damage Gaara did to you, but…" Sasuke's Dad trails off.
"But what?" Sasuke still feels curiously light and numb.
"Even after everything, you still have a long recovery ahead," says Sasuke's Dad. "It will be boring and frustrating, but look on the bright side: they didn't have to amputate your left arm after all."
Sasuke raises her head and looks down at her body. Her left arm is heavily bandaged and in a sling. She can't see much else of her body, since it is covered with a hospital blanket. Thankfully though, Sasuke is not wearing a hospital gown. "I don't remember owning any pyjamas like this," Sasuke says, frowning.
"Oh...um…" Sasuke's Dad blushes ever so slightly. "I bought them for you. It would've been weird for me to go through your drawers and I knew you'd hate waking up in a hospital gown…"
"Oh." Sasuke's isn't sure what to say about that. She didn't think her Dad knew her that well. He even managed to get her cool, if a bit childish, pyjamas. They are blue and have kittens on them. Sasuke thinks they're cute. Sasuke tries to speak again, but the dryness in her throat catches up to her and she starts coughing. A moment later, Sasuke's dad holds a paper cup full of water to her lips. Sasuke gulps down a couple of mouthfuls and asks, "What's that in you lap?" She caught a glimpse of something white sitting on her father's lap.
"Oh this?" Sasuke's Dad puts down the cup of water and picks up the thing that was sitting on his lap. "This is my new hat. I just got inaugurated as Fifth Hokage."
Sasuke yelps in the actual ### happened while she was unconscious?
Rasa stares around at the gathered Suna council. He waits for them to get settled in their chairs before saying, "I am glad you all made it. The identity of the Fifth Hokage is surprising."
Behind Rasa, Gaara giggles. Rasa nearly jumps out of his skin. He is still not used to Gaara acting like a kid.
"What's so funny?" asks Baki, who stayed behind to keep an eye on things.
"Fugaku Uchiha is the Fifth Hokage," says Gaara, with absolutely no guile in his voice, only sweet innocence. Little bastard.
"Isn't that the guy who beat you up in the invasion?" asks Baki, frowning.
"YES," hisses Rasa, resisting the urge to stab the table multiple times.
"Why would they elect him Hokage?" wonders one of the councilmen. "Is it a way of saying how much stronger than us they are?"
"Or maybe they are trying to tell us they aren't taking any crap from us," suggests a different councilman.
"Or maybe he was simply the best choice and the Third Hokage didn't take the Hidden Sand into consideration at all when he chose his head of security to replace him," says Gaara, crossing his arms.
"You're not even on this council, Gaara, what are you doing here?" asks yet another councilman.
"It is bring your kid to work day," says Gaara seriously.
SERIOUSLY?!
The councilmen are nodding reasonably, like that is normal.
Rasa needs some air. And some space. He feels like he is suffocating.
"So the new Hokage is the guy who rearranged Lord Kazekage's face for him?" asks a councilman who hasn't said anything up to this point.
"OKAY, THAT IS IT!" Rasa stands up, knocking his chair to the floor. He takes off the Kazekage hat and throws it onto the council table. "I QUIT! I ####ING QUIT! I'M LEAVING FOR A WEEK AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE A NEW KAZEKAGE BY TIME I GET BACK, I'LL TAKE THE HAT AGAIN, BUT UNTIL THEN: I QUIT!" Rasa storms out of the room. Then out of the village.
Stupid Fugaku and his stupid village! Stupid Orochimaru and his stupid invasion! Stupid bloody shinobi world!
Fugaku attends his first council meeting as Hokage. Damn it feels weird. He looks around at his fellow clan heads and the elders. "So, does anyone know what this meeting was supposed to be about?" Fugaku asks. "Lord Third didn't tell me."
"It is about Naruto's request to dye his chunin vest orange," says Koharu. She is obviously displeased with the entire situation.
"Ah, that sounds like fun." says Fugaku, grinning.
"And that right there is why Lord Third scheduled the meeting for after you became Hokage," says Hiashi, grinning. "He was stressed out by the whole idea."
"Why would he be stressed out?" asks Tsume. "I thought this day would come. Naruto wanting an orange chunin vest was always going to be a thing." She grins, making Fugaku's skin crawl in fear. "I say we let him have his orange vest."
"This is troublesome," says Shikaku. "But who's to say if we let Naruto dye his vest, a bunch of other chunin and jonin will ask to dye theirs too?"
"We already know that half the shinobi in Konoha hate their chunin and jounin vests," says Inoichi thoughtfully. "Maybe more will actually wear them if they can dye them to match their outfits."
"I think that-" Shibi starts to say, but is interrupted.
"This whole thing is stupid," says Koharu. "Just deny his request and be done with it."
"Excuse me," says Fugaku, feeling vengeful. Finally he is the one in charge of the meeting and can tell people off for being assholes. "Do not interrupt other council members!" Fugaku turns to Shibi. "What were you going to say, Shibi?"
Shibi looks a bit surprised but says, "I think that we should let Naruto dye his vest, and if anyone questions it, we should remind them he is an Uzumaki. I am sure you all remember that the Hidden Whirlpool shinobi uniform included orange chunin and jounin vests?" Shibi sits back, apparently finished, and obviously stunned at being able to finish.
"A very good point," nods Choza. "After all, the Whirlpool symbol is not recognized as such anymore. But the colour orange is like the village colour. We should let Naruto wear it as a sign of his clan."
The other councillors are nodding and smiling, except for the elders who are scowling angrily. But they can see they are outnumbered.
"So now that we have some bulls### to tell the populace," says Fugaku cheerfully. "All in favour of letting Naruto dye his chunin vest orange raise your hands."
All the clan heads raise their hands. Koharu and Homura do not.
"Then by an overwhelming majority, the council has decided that Naruto may dye his chunin vest orange." Fugaku smiles winningly. He is just so damn happy that Sasuke is awake he can't help smiling all the time.